Chapter 20

“Duncan?”

Alice felt her worry for her husband increase as his pupils dilated and his shaking body suddenly went incredibly still. The accident had all been a blur. They’d walked up on a mother cat and her litter of kittens, startling the horses. Alice had been terrified, but she’d rode out the fit as best as she could, then dismounted with only a little pain before the horse took off.

It had been incredibly embarrassing, to be sure, but aside from a nagging pain in her ankle, she felt fine.

“You are hurt,” he said suddenly, his voice full of panic as he looked down at her leg.

“Only a little,” she promised, trying her best to soothe him.

She brought her hands up to his chest, but he quickly caught her wrists, holding them a little too tight.

“Duncan, it’s just my ankle,” she insisted.

Alice tried to sit up, but he stopped her.

“No, it’s not,” Duncan replied quickly, starting to shake his head madly as his eyes stayed glued to her waist. “You’re bleeding.”

His voice had gone from shaky and unstable to thick and raspy, and Alice was terrified that he was forgetting to breathe. Forcing her gaze away from him, she took a brief look down to inspect herself. She was startled as well, at first, when she saw the blood that he was referring to. But then she did a quick mental count of the days since she had last bled and realized that her monthly cycle had arrived right when it was supposed to—just not perhaps at the best time.

“Duncan, please, listen to me,” she soothed, slowly pulling her wrists out of his grasp.

“Is it a baby?” he asked, his eyes glued to her skirts. “Did you lose a baby?”

“No!” she assured him quickly, cupping his chin and forcing him to look at her. “I only hurt my ankle, I swear to you. I promise you I did not lose a baby.”

Duncan shook his head as he averted his red-rimmed eyes, and Alice felt her concern rise further.

“Duncan, what is happening to you?” she asked, rubbing his back.

She felt his heart pound wildly beneath his left shoulder. It was erratic, out of control, like it could stop at any second.

“I am well,” she whispered to him, not knowing what else to do but place kisses anywhere he’d let her. “I am well, Duncan. I am safe.”

She repeated the words over and over again, feeling her husband’s body shake with tension and fear every few minutes as some intense battle raged inside of him. He would not let her up, nor would he put her down, keeping her locked into his lap until, after several minutes, he stood up and took her with him.

“I’ve got to get you home,” he told her, sounding strangely numb as he walked toward his horse. “You need to see the physician.”

“I’m more worried about you,” she replied as he gently placed her in the saddle. “Duncan, I am fine,” she insisted as he began to walk her back toward the manor. “Please, look at me and believe me!”

He would not, and his words turned into muttered breaths she could not comprehend as they closed the distance between the meadow and the manor. By the time they reached the path that led to the main yard, they had been spotted by several servants, and the estate’s physician was already waiting for them on the front lawn.

Duncan remained silent as he and the physician studied Alice, but Alice kept her eyes fully on her husband. He seemed to be unraveling by the second, fear taking over every part of him, and he was refusing to let anyone pull him out of it.

“Her ankle is sprained,” the physician said calmly, looking her ankle up and down through the spectacles sitting on the tip of his nose. “Certainly not broken. A bit of rest and elevation, and it will be fine in a few days.”

“Are you sure?” Duncan asked, looking more strained than ever.

“At this point, I am more concerned about you than her, Your Grace,” the physician stated, gently lowering Alice’s ankle to the pillow Mrs. Fletcher had brought out for her.

“Your face is frightfully pale, and your eyes show apparent signs of coronary stress. Please, allow me to make an assessment.”

Alice watched as the physician reached for Duncan’s hand, and shrunk back as her husband savagely grabbed the man’s wrist and shoved him away.

“I’m fine,” Duncan bit out, shooting the man a warning glare to not do that again.

“My love, please,” Alice begged, wanting so badly to reach for him. “Let him take a look. You are not well.”

“The baby,” Duncan stated.

It was apparent now he was lost somewhere deep within, and it brought a deep heartache to her chest.

The physician and Mrs. Fletcher looked at her, startled, and she subtly shook her head.

“It is just my monthly courses,” she explained in a hushed whisper. “I swear it.”

Both the physician and housekeeper looked from her to the grown man on the ground, their worry becoming more obvious.

“He will not believe me,” Alice whispered. “He’s convinced I’m losing a child.”

“You need to see to her,” Duncan repeated, louder this time as he looked at no one in particular. “You cannot let her die. You cannot!”

He rose to his feet as his voice became a roar, and Alice, Mrs. Fletcher, and the physician were on him in a second, stopping him from going further.

“Your Grace,” the physician pleaded calmly, holding him still. “She is not losing a child, but she is having her monthly courses. I know you and Her Grace have been married for a couple of months now, but it is not at all uncommon for many couples to take months or more to conceive a child. There is nothing to worry about today, Your Grace.”

“She is well?” Duncan asked, finally meeting the physician’s gaze.

“Yes,” the physician promised, all of them heaving a collective sigh. “Though she really should not be standing right now, Your Grace.”

Duncan whirled away from him and toward Alice in a second, his eyes full of guilt as he scooped her off her feet. “I am sorry,” he rasped, holding her tightly to him.

“It’s all right,” Alice breathed, relief flooding through her as she felt him come back to her.

She rained kisses over his temple, cheek, and lips as he began to tremble beneath her, whispering words of reassurance until his breathing became steady again.

“Take me upstairs, my love,” she instructed softly, touching him anywhere her hands could find bare flesh. “We need to rest.”

“Rest?” Duncan echoed, looking up at the manor.

“Yes, my sweet man,” Alice rasped, all but begging now. “Let us rest.”

Duncan had not so much as blinked since the accident. Even now, with Alice sleeping safely in his bed and he himself uninjured, his body would not relax. He watched her breathing closely, only letting himself breathe when she did. He watched her as if it would stop at any moment and his only happiness would be gone forever.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered to himself, his eyes still glued to his sleeping wife.

The physician had given her something for the pain, and it had made her drowsy. He too had been offered a tonic, one strongly recommended for his nerves, but he’d poured it out the window the moment the physician left. He couldn’t rest now.

Rising from his chair, Duncan slowly walked over to Alice and sat on the edge of the bed as he cupped her face in his hand. In her sleep, she let out a sigh of relief and leaned into his touch, a soft smile touching her lips.

His aching heart tore in two then, and he pulled away with tears in his eyes.