Chapter 36 Marcus

Six months later

It was just after eight when I left the Libra offices for the last time. It was a day I'd had on my calendar for six months. I didn't need to explain why I had been dreading it, but also anticipating it for all one hundred eighty-something days.

Fuck.

The space looked small and silent. Dark. Almost foreign. I stood in the middle of the front room, adjacent to the rows of open desks where the developers worked.

I took it in for the last time.

I could still remember being twenty years old and touring this building with Alex. We stood here together, looked at each other, and tacitly agreed this was the exact space where we would build Libra into a full-fledged company. That was over eight years ago, and I could still remember the rush of recognition I felt when we nodded at each other. This was it. This was going to be our home.

A few minutes later, I stepped outside of the building and into the chilly New York evening. I tugged my jacket close to me and let out a deep exhale, watching as my breath fogged. The coolness prickled my skin and immediately pinched my nose. For some reason, it felt like an omen: Don't leave, Marcus. Go back inside. You're supposed to be in there.

After a beat, I realized I wasn't alone. Standing with his hands tucked into the pockets of his coat was none other than Alex Larson. He was watching me, cheeks pink and eyes bleary. I wondered how long he had been waiting for me to leave. He nodded his chin, and I didn't know what else to do but to nod back. The exchange was strange and we both knew it. We hadn't seen each other in six months.

"Can I walk with you?" he asked.

I nodded. And then I didn't know what else to say to him. I had no clue where he had been for the last six months, and he sure as shit had no clue what I had to go through. My days had been long, the nights had been sleepless, and the tension had been high in every way possible. The fact that Libra was still in operation was a miracle.

After the deal with Davenport-Ridgeway fell through, there was a shock to our stock price that caused shares to drop considerably. Alex and I both lost tens of millions of dollars overnight as our company steadily devalued. Then, when word got out about the data sale, users began cancelling their subscriptions and deleting their accounts. Naturally, our stock plummeted like a skydiver without a parachute. Then the lawsuits started.

The Board agreed on a clear path forward: Alex would step down as CEO immediately, and I would fill his shoes as interim CEO until we could find a replacement. Within a month, we had hired a woman who had previously worked at several fintech unicorns. Once she was hired, I could focus on transitioning my responsibilities to a new COO.

Two months into the transition, I promoted our Head of Business Development to Chief Operating Officer. Then I could focus my attention on two places: training him for my role and managing the absolute shitstorm of a legal battle that Libra was facing.

Thanks to whistleblower protections, I wouldn't face any direct legal consequences. All the evidence showed that Alex acted alone in the transactions in question. Once the investigation started, I had to provide multiple official statements and attend countless interviews with the FTC. I assumed Alex faced a similar fate—likely one far worse, actually.

And then there was today. My last day.

I was exhausted, unemployed, and I was worth next to nothing. I wasn't even thirty and I had endured a fall from grace so severe that I really didn't know how I was still standing.

Necessity. Therapy.

And Cass.

"I live in this direction now," I told him, nodding to the right. "I'm leasing a smaller place."

Alex nodded his head in understanding. "Yeah, I sold my place too," he admitted. "I've been living with my parents."

"How are they?"

"To be honest, I think they hate me at this point." Alex let out a slow exhale. "I don't blame them."

I didn't know how to answer that, but I wished I did. We ended up walking silently, side by side, for a couple of blocks. And I wished that felt normal, but it didn't. Alex and I were never silent around each other. From the day we met, eighteen years old and roommates in a shitty shoebox of a dorm room, we always had something to say to each other.

"My lawyer thinks I'm going to avoid any prison time or anything like that. Based on precedent, I'll probably be barred from ever leading a company again. And that's fine because I don't think any company would hire me to do that." He lifted a shoulder. "I honestly wasn't all that great at it to begin with."

"You weren't," I admitted. "But that's not all your fault."

We stopped at a crosswalk and Alex turned to me. He frowned deeply, his blue eyes scanning my face. "Whose fault was it then?"

"Let's be clear, it was mostly your fault," I quipped, hoping that would make him laugh. Now that neither of us was rich, we actually had to be funny to make people laugh.

To my relief, Alex let out a chuckle. "I hear you."

"But part of it was just circumstance. When we were eighteen years old, someone offered us tens of millions of dollars and told us to drop out of college, so we did. And then it was just this stratospheric, hyper speed trip to the moon." I shook my head. "Other people's expectations are the most dangerous weapon in the goddamn world. I'm not surprised we both ended up losing touch with reality."

"What reality?" he asked.

The light changed and we started walking again.

"The reality where we were just two kids who had no idea what the hell we were doing but were told by people all over the globe that we were disruptors, and savants, and vanguards, and other stupid names that just weren't real." When I finished saying that, my chest felt lighter. I had wanted to say this to him for so long. "Part of it was my fault. When someone had to bleed for the company, I was willing to take that on. I should have asked you to do that with me."

Alex was quiet for the next few feet. He kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the pavement as we passed by dark offices, closed for the night. After a beat he looked over at me and he said, "Look, the reason I was lurking outside of the office and waiting for you was to say that I'm sorry. And my lawyer is going to kill me for talking to you, so I should go. But I just wanted to say I'm so sorry, and I didn't want you to have to walk home alone today."

I stopped walking and motioned for Alex to do the same by grabbing his shoulder. He turned around to face me, his expression as repentant as his words.

"I'm not alone," I told him. "I've got someone. That's honestly been the only thing that has gotten me through the last six months. So, if you're alone, Alex…please don't be. Call me anytime you want."

"You mean that?"

I nodded before hesitating. "Well, actually…don't call me because you know I don't like talking on the phone. But if you ever want to come over and have a drink or something, don't think twice about that."

His expression ticked over from repentance to relief. "Marcus, I know I don't deserve that."

"You do though," I replied with a nod. "Everyone deserves to be around someone who knows them, understands them, and accepts them. I know you, Alex. I'm accepting that you have flaws. Everyone deserves that, and I know it's going to take a long time for anyone else to feel that way about you. But don't be alone. People aren't meant to feel that way."

He hugged me. It was lingering, tight, and somehow it was cathartic as hell.

"Can I come by and see your new place?" he asked when we broke apart.

"Soon, but not tonight," I replied. "I've got plans with Cass."

"No shit," he mused, eyebrows high. His eyes scanned me up and down once before they settled on my face. He looked moderately impressed. "I didn't know that was, like, a real thing ."

It was the realest thing I had.

"You thought we were just hot over due diligence?" I asked. "Figured we were scratching an itch and we would get over each other once we were done reviewing balance sheets?"

"I just thought you were finally blowing off some steam."

"I think it started out that way," I admitted. "Now…"

Alex nodded. "Come on. I have to hear this."

"Now, the thought of being with anyone else but her feels like the most terrifying thing in the world, which is saying a hell of a lot because I've received a weekly death threat from disgruntled former users every week since this all started."

"Look at you," he murmured. "Hey, I'm happy for you. Not about the death threats, but about the whole being in love thing."

I smiled. I couldn't keep it in. "We haven't seen each other in six months. My lawyer recommended Cass and I put some space between us while the investigation was ongoing. She said it might seem like I was sleeping with her to hide the data sale."

"You mean, the thing I wanted you to do when I found out you were sleeping with her," Alex responded, nodding his head facetiously. "Yeah, I'm also sorry about that."

"You have so much to be sorry about," I said, chuckling lightly. "But don't make standing in the way of my reunion with my girl become one of those things."

"No way," he said, taking a step back. "Have fun. I'll text you tomorrow."

"Sounds good, Alex," I replied as I gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Looking forward to it."

***

Three hours later, I was walking into the dark, flashing lights of Shelf Atlas, the bass pounding so loudly in my ears that they were beginning to throb. The faint scent of cigarette smoke clouded me. The club was packed by the entrance, with throngs of people shouting to be heard over the music. I elbowed my way through, straining to see as my eyes adjusted to the darkness.

In just a few minutes, I'd collided with and been brushed by dozens of strangers, who moved and shifted with abandon to the music. Other people's sweat was on my skin and I'd been knocked off my course more than once. Chaos consumed me, sparking flashes of ambition and excitement and expectation in me. I could do anything with this night. I could take it anywhere.

It was fucking heaven .

I navigated my way to the bar and ordered two shots of whiskey that I downed in quick succession. The warmth of the liquor melted through me at once, heating my chest and wearing down my apprehension. I ordered a whiskey and coke to take with me as I reentered the pulsing crowd. Seconds later, I pushed my way back in.

More bodies hit me as I weaved through the labyrinth of clubgoers, watching as the flashing lights shifted from magenta to blue as the DJ changed the song. Someone tried to invite me into a dance by placing a hand on my abdomen, but I shook my head in decline as I kept moving, eyes traveling over the crowd.

I finally saw her.

Her blond hair was tied up in a messy, high ponytail that swayed with her body. It was like catching a glimpse of a beacon on the shore. She was dancing with her arms in the air, eyes closed and smiling as the music washed over her. For a few seconds, I just observed her. I took in the way her body twisted gracefully, but freely. Her clothes were tight—a cropped tank top and a matching black skirt. Careless yet coordinated at the same time. That was her. That was my Cass.

Even though I hadn't seen her in six months, my body responded to her. My pulse quickened and prickles of desire started to rise on my skin when I thought of all the times I had touched that body. That magnificent body. Her body. I pushed my way towards her, splashing whiskey and coke over the rim of my cup as I went. I didn't care. My hand was wet from my drink and I took an elbow or two to the chest as I weaved through the tangle of bodies, but none of that fazed me.

Cass was my sole objective and only point of concern in this moment—and hopefully for a long time to come.

When I reached her, my hand immediately traveled to her waist and came to rest on the strip of bare skin above the waistband of her skirt. As soon as she felt a hand on her, her eyes snapped open. Concern and confusion traced across her face until her eyes met mine and she realized it was me.

Her tightened brow softened into recognition. She plunged forward and wrapped her arms up around my neck, craning to embrace me. I clutched her against me, my arm crooked around her back. The smell of her shampoo engulfed me as I buried my face in her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head. When she pulled away from our hug, her lips immediately found mine. The kiss was searing, familiar, and long overdue. Her hands came to rest on my shoulders, and my free hand shifted from her upper back to her waist.

"What are you doing here?" she said into my ear, raising her voice so I could hear her over the music.

"I stopped by your place. Bethany said you were here."

"What?"

"Bethany said you were here," I repeated, speaking louder.

Cass shook her head, clearly still unable to hear me. God, she was so pretty.

"Fuck it," I murmured before I chugged the rest of my drink, tossed the cup on the floor, and gripped her hips with both hands as I took her mouth again.

She moaned softly against my lips as my tongue pressed against hers. The taste of mint and liquor twined between us as the heat of her body radiated against my hands. I let them travel lower, cupping her ass over the thin fabric of her skirt. It was so short that my fingertips tickled the bare skin where her ass curved into her upper thighs.

We were smack dab in the middle of a nightclub, but I didn't care who saw us. I needed more of her.

Cass clearly felt the same way about me, because as the intensity of our kiss began to ramp up, she tugged me close to her by pulling on the shoulders of my t-shirt. She broke our kiss to glance over her shoulder, looking over at the dark corner of the club where the walls met below the stairs leading up to the lounge. Without a word, Cass led the way over to the darkened alcove.

As soon as her back was against the wall, she urged me to kiss her again.

"I want you to fuck me right here," she murmured into my lips.

Those words did things to me I couldn't even describe. I tightened my hold on her body. "I can't fuck you here," I told her. "Not tonight, at least. Tonight I have things planned for you that we definitely can't do with other people watching."

Cass lifted an eyebrow as she pulled away from my face. Her expression, to my relief, dripped with intrigue. "Get an Uber," she advised.

"Now?"

"Five minutes ago," she answered before she stood on her toes to kiss my neck, while I desperately tried to get an Uber on my phone.