3.

E LIZABETH

I looked around my friend Charlotte’s kitchen and marveled at the controlled chaos where she seemed to thrive. Her twins were chasing each other around the long table where I was seated while four preteen boys seated at the table argued about which Marvel character would win in a cage match. Two older teenagers were sitting at the bar doing their homework, oblivious to the noise around them, while Charlotte’s daughter Margaret stirred a pan on the stove. As I watched, Charlotte pulled another young boy close to her for a hug and then kissed him on the cheek before she ordered him to take Gavin and Garret into the bathroom to wash their hands.

When I first met Charlotte, she was relaxing on a blanket in her pasture that bordered mine while the large group of boys played football. They were so happy and carefree that I couldn’t help but stop to watch, so she invited me over to sit with her and enjoy the show.

When I mentioned that I was amazed a woman her age could have so many children, she laughed and said, “I only gave birth to those two,” she said as she pointed at the older boys she later introduced as Andrew and David, “And these,” she said as she pointed out the youngest boys who were obviously twins. “The rest are technically foster children, but I love them just as much as my own sons.”

I counted heads as I watched them play and realized Charlotte and her husband were fostering eight boys along with her four-year olds, and that wasn’t even counting her oldest two sons and her daughter.

At the time, I couldn’t imagine her life’s chaos, and as I had gradually gotten to know her, I realized it was even wilder than I had imagined. This wasn’t the first time I’d been invited to dinner at her home. I knew that by the time I left this evening, my mind would be reeling, and I’d need a good long soak in the bath while I drank no less than two glasses of wine.

As an added bonus, there were even more children added to the mix tonight. Two young girls who Charlotte had introduced as her sisters were washing dishes as they swayed to the music, and I couldn’t help but smile when they started to sing along with Margaret.

Just as Charlotte pulled her phone out to capture the moment, the back door opened and her eldest sons walked inside followed by my new archnemesis. I was still reeling from the shock of seeing him here at my friend’s house when he spotted me and narrowed his eyes.

“Mom, you won’t believe what Dub just told us!” Andrew said as he walked around the island to embrace his mom.

“Big brother!” the young boy who had been tasked with helping the twins wash their hands yelled as he ran across the room and threw his arms around the man. The twins rushed him, too, and his angry expression turned into a smile as he got down on one knee and pulled all three of them into his arms.

“How are my boys today?” the man asked.

“Hello, Brother William,” one of the teenagers sitting at the bar said with a polite nod before he burst out laughing.

“Cut that shit out,” the man ordered as he grinned. “You make me sound ancient, Elijah. I don’t need any help in that department.”

As the teenagers laughed, the man stood up easily, and I was shocked to see that he had one of the twins in each arm and the older boy hanging from his neck like a monkey.

“Hey, Uncle Dub,” Margaret called out from where she stood at the stove. “Dad was running late, so he’s coming home with barbecue from that place we like. I made your favorite sides to go with it.”

“Thanks, kiddo,” the man said cheerfully.

“Where’s my beer?” Charlotte asked as she glared at the man.

“The Attorney General says that pregnant women shouldn’t drink, you lush,” the man teased.

“I don’t drink it, I smell it,” Charlotte retorted. She sighed before she looked at me and said, “I’m surrounded by so much testosterone that sometimes I want to run away and join the circus for some peace and quiet.”

“Only someone with a family like ours would consider the circus a respite,” David said as he pulled out a chair and sat next to me. “Hi, Elizabeth. How have you been?”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Elizabeth, this is my brother Dub. Dub this is our new neighbor, Elizabeth Royce.”

“You’re siblings?” I asked in shock.

The man passed one of the twins to Andrew and then let the bigger child slide to the floor, leaving him with one of the twins on his hip. “That’s generally what brothers and sisters are, Karen. ”

As I glared at him, the room fell silent, and I heard Margaret whisper, “What the hell?”

“My name is not Karen.”

“According to the way you act, it should be.”

“I take it the two of you have already met,” Charlotte said hesitantly.

“Yeah . . . in my driveway when she chewed my ass for neglecting our poor, pitiful, darling mother by making her walk back and forth to work.”

“But she has a car!” Charlotte barked.

“She told me . . .”

“Pfft,” one of the teenagers at the bar interrupted. “Just throw whatever our mother told you out with the trash.”

Another teenager said, “Or just believe the opposite. You might get closer to the truth that way.”

I pointed at Charlotte, then let my finger pass over the two young men who had just spoken before looking toward Dub and the young man who had called him “big brother” before I asked, “You’re all siblings?”

“Every single one of us,” Charlotte said grimly. “Well, except for my children, of course.”

“Wanna hear something really weird?” Andrew asked.

“I’m still reeling from that information, but sure.”

He pointed at David and then himself before he said, “She’s our mom, but technically she’s our cousin too.”

“I’m so confused right now.”

“I can’t imagine why,” David said before everyone but me started laughing at the inside joke.

I looked at the man who I had judged so harshly and, over the sound of the kids’ laughter, said, “Right now, I really wish you had brought beer.”

◆◆◆

“You’re gonna need to take notes,” Si said as he reached over my shoulder and dropped a yellow pad and pencil onto the picnic table. “I live here, and sometimes, I even get confused.”

“It’s not that hard to grasp,” Charlotte said as she relaxed in a lounge chair in front of the fire pit.

“Bye, y’all,” Andrew called out as he jogged down the steps in front of Margaret and David.

“Be here for breakfast, you guys! Love you!” Charlotte called out after her children. She looked over at me and explained, “We converted the old bunkhouse into apartments for the older kids and built Margaret a tiny home near it so she could have her privacy.”

“That will do for all of them as they graduate and start college or whatever plan they have for adulthood,” Si added.

“You’re their sister and also their foster parent?”

“Actually, we have custody of all of them except Mary and Laura.”

“Why? How? I just . . . Aleta only mentioned having an older daughter and son and two little girls who seemed to be the light of her life.”

Dub snorted and said, “They’re the only ones she can use to barter.”

“Well, not anymore since she brought them here with her,” Charlotte corrected.

Dub slowly shook his head and blew out a breath before he said, “I talked to David and Andrew about it before dinner, and I’m going to let the other older guys know, but Aleta is planning on taking Laura and Mary back.”

“Like hell!” Charlotte snapped.

Dub cleared his throat and glanced at me before he looked at his sister and said, “Don’t get all worked up, Lottie.”

“She didn’t,” Charlotte growled.

“Didn’t what?” I asked even though it was none of my business.

“She’s going to take them back to the compound and marry them off just like she did with me.”

“Whoever she’s been talking to is going to take her too,” Si added angrily.

Dub nodded. “Laura said the three of them are promised to someone, but she doesn’t know a name.”

“You are fucking kidding,” Charlotte said as tears streaked down her cheeks. “That bitch!”

“My guess is that she made a deal to become the first wife, or at least one higher up in the ranks, in exchange for bringing the girls with her.”

“That’s horrible,” I whispered. “What kind of people would . . . They’re just little girls!”

“She forced me to marry my uncle - her brother - when I was thirteen.”

“Holy shit.” I felt my entire body shudder in horror before I said, “I’ve seen documentaries and news stories on situations like that but . . . I never . . . My God.”

“I escaped when David was five, Margaret was four, and Andrew was two. Si’s brother helped me get settled through the foundation he runs, and that’s how I met Si. We were married three years later,” Charlotte explained.

“And then two years after that, Monty and Theo were banished and came to live with us. That’s when Dub came home to help out.”

“Si’s brother tried to help me when I was banished, but I took another avenue,” Dub said as he looked over my shoulder at the field beyond. “I was away for a long while but came back to help with the boys when Charlotte got pregnant with the twins.”

“She never mentioned any sons other than you,” I told him, my confusion obvious.

Charlotte shrugged as if it were nothing and said, “Because they were banished. They don’t exist in her world anymore.”

“And the only reason I exist is because she’s living in my house,” Dub explained. “She wouldn’t be if it weren’t for Laura and Mary.”

“We can’t let her take them,” Charlotte said through a fresh round of tears.

“She’s not taking them anywhere,” Dub asserted as he looked at his sister. His expression softened, and he smiled at her before he said, “Promise, Lottie Bug.”

Charlotte sniffed and nodded at him before she rested her head on Si’s shoulder.

It was quiet on the deck for a few minutes with the only sounds being children’s laughter coming from inside the house. Suddenly, I heard dogs barking in the distance and winced when I recognized their tone. As I stood up, I said, “I’ve got to go home. The natives are getting restless, and if I don’t get there soon to do their bidding, they’ll start making plans to revolt.” I looked up at the cloudy sky and asked, “Do you have a flashlight I can borrow?”

“You didn’t drive here? I thought walking after dark was against the rules.”

I ignored Dub and smiled at Charlotte as Si went in to get a flashlight for me. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner and great company. I’d invite your family over so that I can repay your kindness, but I don’t know that I can cook enough to feed everyone.”

“Would it help if I told you that Si and I like to leave the older kids in charge every now and then and have a night with adult-only conversation and plates of food that aren’t swimming in ketchup?”

“Now, I can handle that.”

“Are you available next weekend?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said with a long sigh. “I’ve got crews working non-stop to get everything in order for the second kennel building, and my roster is full of boarders.”

“Theo and Elijah love working for you, Elizabeth. Thanks for giving them a chance.”

“I’ve never met such hardworking kids before, so I should be the one thanking you.”

Si came out and handed me the flashlight, and I smiled in thanks before I said my goodbyes. I nodded at Dub as I walked past him and then heard him behind me as I went down the steps. I stopped on the grass and used my thumb to switch on the flashlight just as he walked up beside me.

“Are you going home too?” I asked.

“I’m going to make sure you get to your house safely, and then I’ll go home.”

“My house is in the opposite direction,” I told him with a smile.

“I know that.”

“No sense in arguing with him when he gets like this,” Charlotte called out from behind us. I turned around and found her grinning and Si shaking his head. “He’s the most stubborn man you’ll ever meet, and once he sets his mind to something, there’s no changing it.”

I sighed before I looked at him and admitted, “I’d feel better if someone walked with me, so I’ll allow it.”

Dub laughed before he said, “As if you have a choice in the matter.”

I knew from experience it took about seven minutes to walk from Charlotte’s back door to mine, but walking with Dub meant I’d be able to clear the distance in half the time. I thanked my lucky stars that I was still actively running, although for shorter distances until my body acclimated to the higher elevations here, because if not, I’d be a panting mess.

As it was, I’d broken a sweat even with the cool night breeze by the time we got to my property and was ready to sit down for a minute to catch my breath.

“Are you okay?” Dub asked, looking at me for the first time since we’d left Charlotte’s. “You look a little flushed.”

“I don’t usually power walk uphill in the dark, so I’m a little bit out of breath.”

“Why didn’t you tell me to slow down?”

“I’m not weak.”

“I never said you were. You’re touchy, though, that’s for sure.” Before I could retort, the dogs picked up my scent and started howling. Dub looked around in fascination and pondered, “How many dogs are in that building?”

“A few. I’m eleven minutes late with their evening meal,” I explained as I walked toward the completed barn. “Thanks for walking with me.”

I heard Dub’s feet crunching on the gravel before he asked, “Can I help you get them fed so they don’t bother the neighbors?”

“You are the neighbors.”

“Fuck, woman. Take a hint. I want to see the puppies.”

“Puppies. You think puppies make that noise?” He gave me a bored look, and I laughed. “Alright then, you can come inside. They love to meet new people.”

“Why do I sense sarcasm?”

“Moi?” I asked. “Never.”

I punched in the code to open the metal door and then walked inside to chaos. I currently had eleven dogs that didn’t belong to me kenneled in the barn - some of them for extended stays while their owners were out of town, but most for long-term training.

“Tar lich!” I said loudly, and instantly, there was silence. I could still see that most of them were pacing back and forth, but I was proud that they’d followed my first command, so I tested them again with, “Ba’!”

As one, every dog in the barn sat down and stayed silent.

“Holy shit. How did you do that?”

“I told them to sit.”

“In what?Klingon?”

I burst out laughing and asked, “You speak Klingon?”

“Do I look like a nerd?” Dub mumbled as he looked around the barn. “This place is awesome.”

“Thank you. We were lucky enough to be able to use the original structure for the improvements, but we had to bulldoze the other barn because it was too far gone.”

“That’s what they’re building now?”

“Yep. When it’s finished, it will be for training clients, and the other will be for boarders.”

“And now?”

“They’re all together, so even the boarders are getting an education.” I walked over to the first room and reached for the latch before I said, “Would you unlatch each gate and prop it open, please?”

“Sure,” Dub said warily as he looked at the mastiff inside the kennel on his left. “Are they going to eat me?”

“Well, they’re trained not to, but I guess this is a good time to find out if their lessons have taken root.”

“That’s reassuring.”

We walked down the row unlatching kennels, and after Dub was finished with the dogs on his side, I continued down the row and opened Charlie’s door. He sat patiently just like the other dogs, so I winked at him and got a tail thump in return before I went to the counter against the wall and called out, “QIp!”

I heard the sound of nails on the concrete as each dog came out of their kennel and watched as they lined up just outside their doors. When there was silence again, I ordered, “Ba’!” I couldn’t miss Dub’s mouth dropping open in shock when all the dogs sat again.

“Holy shit. It’s like mind control.” He shook his head as he looked at me, and I smiled when he said, “That’s so cool!”

“They’re the ones doing the hard work, I just give the commands.”

“What can I help you with because I’m not leaving at this point. I’m almost positive that when you serve them dinner, they’re going to sit around a table and discuss politics, and I have to see that.”

“Political and religious discussions are not allowed, but it’s baseball season, and we’ve got some diehard fans in here.” I opened the dishwasher and pulled out the bottom tray, and as I stacked the clean bowls together, I said, “That Boxer over there is Zoey, and she gets downright mean if you say anything against the San Francisco Giants. The girl’s even got a tramp stamp of Buster Posey’s signature right above her tail.”

“You’re kidding,” Dub gasped.

I laughed so hard I snorted, and Dub glared at me. When I finally calmed down, I said, “You’re fun to play with.”

“That was just mean.”

“I’m not even sorry,” I said honestly as I lined up the bowls on the counter. I opened the binder that held the information sheets for each dog and started filling the first bowl with the correct food and supplements. While Dub watched me, I could tell he was dying to ask a question but was trying to resist because I’d been such a smartass to him. “Yes, they each have a specific diet according to what their owners’ prefer and any allergies they might have.”

“I get it. I’m particular about what I give the horses, especially Hercules because he can be a greedy fucker. He’ll eat until he makes himself sick.”

“You know, I’ve never actually touched a horse.”

“You’re kidding.”

I flipped the page and continued down the line of bowls, making sure to keep them in order according to the number of the kennel that matched each dog. When that was finished, I moved to the other table to get the medications ready for the dogs that needed it.

“Nope. I’ve always wanted to learn to ride but never got the chance, so I bought a motorcycle instead.”

“You’re kidding.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Are you shitting me right now?”

“I wouldn’t shit you, Dub. You’re quickly moving up the list and becoming my favorite turd.”

He burst out laughing. I grinned at him and then pushed the rolling tray of medications down the line, checking the binder to make sure I had the correct dosage for the dog I was treating and verifying the name on the tag before I gave out the medicine. I did the same for three others before I pushed the tray back over to the wall and started passing out dishes.

“They’re just sitting there.”

“Because I told them to.”

“Holy shit.”

“You keep saying that too.”

Once all the bowls were distributed, I walked back over to the bench to start cleaning up and ordered, “Sop!”

There was a flurry of activity behind me. I glanced up at the mirror to check that all the dogs were eating from their own bowls before I brushed the crumbs off the counter to the floor and then grabbed the cleaning cart and started working my way around to each kennel. I then swept the dog hair up along with whatever dirt and grass they’d tracked in from their runs out into the middle of the hallway.

By the time I finished my nightly bed checks, they were done eating, so I walked from dog to dog giving love with lots of scratches and kisses before I went past Dub and opened the door that led out into the lighted play area.

“Now they get to run off their dinner?” Dub asked.

“That’s it.”

“And what do you do?”

“Finish sweeping, clean their outdoor runs, wash their bowls, prep their meds for tomorrow morning and whatever else happens to come up in the process.”

“And then you bed them down for the night?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you do after they’re all settled in?”

“I go inside and putter around, maybe take a long bath with a book and a glass of wine. Whatever.”

“I’ve got a better idea.”

“I can’t think of many things that are better than that,” I admitted.

“I’ll help you finish your chores and then get my bike while you change into something safe for riding. I’ll treat you to some wind therapy.”

“Wind therapy is much better than a bath.”

“You down for a ride, Karen? ”

“You know it, Kevin. ”

“Who the hell is Kevin?” Dub asked.

“A male version of the cranky bitch you keep comparing me to.”

Dub started laughing so hard he choked and ended up coughing and sputtering. After a few seconds of listening to him in distress, Charlie ran over and started circling his legs, trying to give him aid by getting him to sit down. I was impressed when Dub had the presence of mind to put his hand out to comfort the dog and tell him he was okay even though he was still coughing. I was also happy that Charlie trusted him enough to move along and go back to playing with his friends.

“Was that funny because your big ass has never had a woman throw your shit back at you, or do you know someone who fits that description whose name is actually Kevin?”

Dub started sputtering again and finally managed to choke out, “Kevin’s my middle name!”

And then it was my turn to laugh.