19.

D UB

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked Mary before I brushed her hair out of her face. It was a wild mess, which was rare, especially since she’d been so careful about her appearance lately. But when she and Laura got back to the house earlier, they had been so glad to have access to the bathroom and then the shower that fashion and hairstyles were the least of their worries. “I can stay in here if you want.”

“I’ll call you if we need anything,” Mary promised. She took my hand before she asked, “Where is Aleta?”

“I’m sorry, honey, but she was gone when I got here,” I lied. “I know that the two of you had a difficult relationship, but it’s perfectly okay for you to mourn the fact that she wasn’t a good mother to you. If you need . . .”

“That’s not why I’m crying,” Mary whispered as tears coursed down her cheeks.

“Then what’s wrong, honey?”

“I’m crying because I’m afraid.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

“I’m afraid there’s something wrong with me, Dub. I’m not sad at all.”

“In this case, I think that’s perfectly normal, Mary. That might change. You might wake up one day and realize you miss her, but if that never happens, it’s okay.”

“I’m glad she’s gone. I was so afraid that she’d make us go back, and then she showed up with those men . . .” Mary sobbed, so I put my arm beneath her back and lifted her up so I could hold her. She cried softly for a few minutes and then sniffled before she said, “I don’t ever want to leave you and Elizabeth, Dub. I want this to be my home.”

“It is, sweetheart. We’ll take care of you. I promise.”

“Can we stay with Elizabeth forever?”

“I want to, but there are no guarantees in life. You know that. However, what I know more than anything is that Elizabeth loves you, and she’ll never stop loving you, just like I won’t ever stop loving you, okay?”

“I love you, too, Dub.”

I squeezed her tightly once more and then let her go so she could lay back down. I stood up and then leaned down to kiss her forehead before I reached over her and ran my hand over Laura’s hair. “Yell if you need me, honey.”

“I will.”

I stood and smiled down at Mary before I turned around to leave her room. I found Elizabeth in the doorway with tears streaming down her face, so I hurried over and nudged her backwards so I could pull the door shut behind me. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the guest room, the bedroom that would become Laura or Mary’s whenever they got ready to sleep separately. At first, I thought that might never happen, considering that they hadn’t ever slept without each other, but recently, they’d discussed having their own space.

Once I had Elizabeth alone in the room with the door closed, I asked, “What’s wrong, Karen?”

Elizabeth’s voice was thick with emotion as she said, “That was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. You’re gonna make such a good dad, Kevin.”

“In order for me to be a dad, you have to agree to be a mom, and I’m not just talking about raising Laura and Mary. Have you given that any more thought?”

“It’s truly all I can think about,” Elizabeth admitted.

“Well, as much as I’d like to start trying, we have a house full of people, so right now might not be the best time.”

Elizabeth leaned far enough away from my chest to look up at me before she said, “I survived today. I was scared and in danger, but I knew what to do and did it.”

“You did, and you protected the girls while you were at it.”

“Troy didn’t win this time. I did.”

“Because you’re smart, strong, and capable, sweetheart. All of those things together helped you face your fears, and that’s exactly what you did.”

“You know what’s weird?”

“So many things,” I said with a bitter laugh. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Sway and Sobie are the reason I was able to get out of the forest all those years ago, and then they found me today and brought me out again.”

I considered what she said for a second before I agreed, “That’s true.”

“It’s like the circle is complete.”

“That’s a good way to look at it.”

“Do you think everyone out there is waiting for me to have a meltdown?”

“I doubt it. They’re here because you’re important to them, and they want to make sure you’re okay.”

“But they know that when this happened the first time, I had to run away.”

“So much more happened then, Karen. Today was nothing compared to what you went through. No sense is getting caught up in the drama of the situation.”

“You’re good at that, Dub.”

“I don’t do drama.”

Elizabeth scoffed, “Bullshit. Tell that to the guy who forgot to put your french fries in the bag the other day.”

“I paid for those fries.”

Elizabeth shook her head and then rested it against my chest. “You came for me today, Dub. I knew I could count on you.”

“I love you, sweetheart, and I’ll always come through for you. I swear it.”

“I love you too. Now, let’s go reassure our friends that I’m okay so they can all go back to their regularly scheduled programming while we figure out what in the world we’re going to do with all those dead bodies.”

“What bodies?”

◆◆◆

ELIZABETH

“Would you mind if I got in on some of that?”

I wiped the tears off my face before I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Rooster. “The more the merrier. Come on in.”

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

I shrugged as I watched Rooster pick his way across the floor, avoiding tails and paws before he sat cross-legged across from me. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Because I can’t sleep when I sense there’s a beautiful woman in distress nearby.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

“Do I look stupid? I don’t have a death wish.”

I burst out laughing and said, “Dub wouldn’t kill you.”

“It’s not Dub I’m worried about. I’ve seen what that horse over there can do, and he’s already eyeing me like he wants to wipe those dinner plate-sized hooves on me like I’m a doormat.”

“He’s a schmoopie.”

“Says the woman who is cuddling a dog who was covered in blood just a few hours ago.”

“Charlie was protecting his mama. I’d have done the same thing for him,” I said as I ran my hand down Charlie’s back. I looked over my shoulder and blew Herc a kiss, and he lifted his head and blew me a raspberry like I’d trained him to do a few days ago. I grinned at him, and he huffed back. “See? He’s a sweetie.”

“If you say so.” Rooster smiled at the three dogs who were pushing each other around trying to settle on his lap and then leaned to the side and rested his weight on his elbow giving all of the dogs room to snuggle against him. “I can see why you love your job.”

“Dogs are better than people.”

“I agree.” Rooster studied my face for a minute before he asked, “Is what happened today fucking you up?”

“I’ve been fucked up for a while.”

“Honey, I’m a shit sandwich on a table full of issues and hangups, but I’ve got room on my plate for a few more things. Hit me.”

“What?”

“Tell me what’s got you so worked up.”

“Dub wants to have kids. Well . . . more kids.”

“If the thought of having kids upsets you so badly, then just tell him you’re not down for that.”

“I think I am, but there’s some guilt there.”

“I thought moms dished the guilt out, not wallowed in it.” I raised one eyebrow, and he shrugged. “My mom’s guilt quota was almost as impressive as that mom look you’ve got going on.”

“I don’t know if I’m mother material.” Rooster scoffed, and I frowned and said, “What was that for?”

“Do you know why we keep pushing off our exit date?”

“Well, obviously you’re all tired after today’s excitement.”

“Dice is from Vegas and probably hasn’t slept more than three hours at a time in his entire life. Sarge was in the military for so long that he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn even if he’s only been sleeping for an hour. Me, Okie, and Trout have proven that we can live on very little sleep just because we’re dumbasses who like to party a little more than we probably should. If we wanted to, we could have gotten on our bikes and ridden through the night and all day tomorrow, but we didn’t. We put it off for another few days so we could stay here and get mothered by you.”

“Whatever.”

“You mended Sarge’s T-shirt, picked a splinter out of Dice’s thumb, insisted that Trout take some sort of vitamin because you said his voice sounded froggy, and sent Okie off on the bike run with a protein bar and a Kool-Aid pouch in case his blood sugar plummeted. You did all of those things while you were flitting around the kitchen making sure that all of us ate our breakfast so we didn’t get hangry before we were able to stop somewhere for a decent meal.”

“I didn’t mother you,” I said, ignoring all the instances he pointed out.

“When I was about to walk out the door, you smiled at me as you straightened my cut and then patted me on the chest right over my heart. I felt that deep in my soul because no one has cared for me like that since before I went to prison.”

“Oh, Rooster. Surely . . .”

“The bailiff gave my mom two minutes to say goodbye to me after my sentencing. The last thing she did was straighten my tie and pat me on the chest before she said, “Take care of yourself, my boy, and keep me right here with you.””

“Now you’re making me cry,” I said as I fought back tears.

“Where’s the guilt coming from?” Rooster asked out of the blue.

“I went through some things when I was younger and gave my children up for adoption.”

“And they had a better life than you could have given them?”

“Most definitely.”

“And that makes you feel guilty? It’s not like you abandoned them on the side of the road, Elizabeth. You gave them opportunities they wouldn’t have had otherwise. Now, you’re in a different situation where you’d be able to give whatever kids you have a good life just like you’re proving with Laura and Mary.”

“What if I suck at parenting?”

Rooster burst out laughing. “I have never professed to know how the female mind works, but I’ve always thought I had a better understanding than most. However, you’re proving me wrong at every turn. You’re out here kicking yourself for something that, from what I’m gathering, you did because you felt enough love for . . . twins, you said?”

“Yeah.”

Rooster looked thoughtful for a second before he tilted his head and asked, “Is it a secret that those two boys who found you in the woods today are your biological children?”

“No.”

“They were understandably upset to find out that you were in danger. That means that they care for you. Do you think that if you’d tried to power through and raise them, even when you knew it wasn’t what was best, that they might not feel that same way now? Obviously, they don’t resent you for giving them up, but what if you’d kept them and they resented you for that?”

“I never looked at it like that.”

“You should try it. From this angle it makes you look a little stupid, but you’re still gorgeous so it evens out.”

“You’re flirting again.”

“The horse and the dog are both sleeping, so I feel safer than I did earlier.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“That! That right there!”

“What?”

“Only a mom would use that word, Elizabeth. As a matter of fact, I didn’t know that anyone under the age of seventy even knew how to use that in a sentence. It’s definitely a mom thing.”

“You’re very easy to talk to, Rooster.”

“It’s because I’m fantastic.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“So, when are you going to pop out a baby or two? Give me a window so I can make sure I get here in time to watch Dub sweat it out when he realizes that there’s no escape. He’s either gonna have a girl with her mom’s beauty and brains or a boy with her stubbornness and attitude.”

“Maybe our kids will be more like Dub than me.”

“I hope not. I’ve heard some of the stories about his family, and let me tell you, sister . . . that man’s gene pool needs a fucking lifeguard.”

“It kind of does. That whole cousin-uncle thing he’s got going on with Charlotte’s kids cracks me up.”

“You do realize, though, that with you two raising Laura and Mary as your own that they’ll be sister-aunts to your kids, right?”

“You’re right. We really need a lifeguard.”