Chapter 22

22

TANNER

I pace back and forth to get my heart to relax. The six electric lanterns are all set in a hexagon around me, manifesting a soft orange glow in the café. The bouquet of roses in my hand is pristine, and my thrift store suit is as pretty as it’s going to be—thank the monster god Shonda and Rachel helped me with my fashion. Seth loaned me Mummy Mocha, and Blake texted they’ll be here in a minute.

Now I just need to not collapse. Breathe, Tanner . It’s only your first and most important grand romantic gesture. No big deal.

Seth gives me a thumbs up from the entrance and I hear other voices from behind the sarcophagus blocking the way. When Seth moves the massive thing, I clearly hear the next few words, and my heart pounds harder in my throat.

“When I said I’d bury a body for you, I didn’t think you’d actually—”

Kovi .

My Kovi. He’s here, and he’s frozen in front of me. In a t-shirt and jeans, he looks as luscious as ever.

I give him a wave and gulp back my nerves. Game time .

“Hi, Kovi.”

Eyeing me in shock, his mouth opens and closes, but no sound comes out. After a moment, he turns around. Seth and Blake give matching cheeky waves. “The emergency was that my best employee and my best friend need to have a conversation.”

“Have fun boys!” Blake sings. They both wave and disappear. The sound of footsteps dashing away makes me believe we’re alone now.

Kovi turns around, and his brown eyes shimmer with fear. I gulp and say, “Hey, you.”

“Tanner, I—”

“Please let me say what I need to say.” I step forward, more nervous than I’ve ever been before. Kovi looks like he has half a mind to turn and scurry off.

I take another tentative step. I’m a yard away from the monster I want, both too close and too far at the same time.

I breathe in deep, in and out, and clutch the flowers. “My name is Tanner McGregor. I grew up a poor ginger kid with an alcoholic father and dead mom. I never made friends easily, and I didn’t fit in anywhere.” I take another step, and Kovi seems less anxious and more intrigued. “I’ve been working since I was sixteen. I want to be a landscape surveyor, so that’s why I got into environmental sci. When I heard that Creelin was giving scholarships to humans, I jumped at the chance to work and study at a real university. I knew it was a monster school, but I had no idea it would lead me back to you.”

Kovi gulps, nervousness still emanating off his beautiful face. I nod, take another step, and continue, saying, “Yes, we met as kids. Yes, you hurt me, and I know now it was an accident. And yes, it instilled in me a fear of the forest.”

“Tanner, I am so —”

“Let me finish!” I raise a finger and step forward again. “Yes, it’s true you were my childhood friend who hurt me. But you’re a man now, a caring, smart, charming, attractive, generous man. You work hard, you love environmentalism, you’re a fantastic friend, and you’re so selfless. You have all these amazing qualities, and I can’t help but bask in your glow.”

“Tanner—”

“Kovi, you make my heart feel whole.” He freezes, and I’m shaken by my own words. I can count his dark eyelashes, and I ache to touch him. “Being away from you feels wrong. Sleeping in your arms made me feel alive. I want to go to the dance with you, and I want to be with you. I want to fight for you, for us , and I want to give our relationship a real shot.”

“But, Tanner—”

“I know I have panic attacks sometimes, but I’m willing to work on it. And if you’ll forgive me, then maybe —”

“Forgive you?!” he asks incredulously. I shut my mouth and he clenches his fist. “How could you forgive me ? I keep hurting you .” He closes his eyes and a tear falls down his face. “I hate staying away from you, it sucks . But I won’t hurt you again, I can’t,” he whispers.

Swallowing my fear, I take the final step forward. I reach up and wipe away his tear. When I cup his face, he opens his eyes. The glow of the lanterns reflects in his eyes. The torment in his soul is so clear. All I see is Kovi, the man, no, the monster, who holds my heart. “The only way you could hurt me is if you give up on us,” I whisper.

I’m falling for this dryad.

I step forward to put my lips on his, where they belong. His face is warm, and I’m so ready. I’m a breath away, but before I can make contact, he hisses and steps back.

“Kovi?”

His eyes are clamped shut and he bends over and grits his teeth. “Stay back…Tanner…” he mutters through a grunt. He holds himself like he’s having a stomachache.

“Kovi, I —”

“I can’t…stay in this form…it’s Halloween, and…and I—”

“Then don’t.”

“Huh?” He looks at me perplexed.

“Let’s go outside. Show me…show me the monster.”

He eyes me, still conflicted, then dashes out to the library entrance. I try to keep up, but even in the dark, it’s obvious Kovi half shifts, growing in height as he bounds for the door. He exits, and I briskly walk after him.

I haven’t gotten a good look at Kovi in his dryad form when I’m not losing my mind. But he’s worth it. He’s my Kovi.

So, I steel myself, then open the door.

In the glow of the blood moon, a tree monster stands tall before me. He turns around, and gazes at me with the dark holes on his wooden face. Fear creeps up my spine, a remnant from that fateful day in my childhood. I bite down my nerves and gaze at the creature of vines and branches before me. After a moment of holding my breath, it hits me—even in the dark, even with his face and body completely made of wood, one realization has my heart opening wide.

He’s Kovi. I see…Kovi. He’s not some abomination, he’s not a nightmare. He’s the man who made love to me.

As if sensing the recognition on my face, he bends down, craning his wooden body. His eyes glow behind the wooden holes, but I recognize his facial structure. I used to be so afraid of a being like this, but now…

“Kovi,” I whisper.

“This is…me…” His voice is deeper, slower. He’s tentative and gentle, like I might break down at any moment.

But not this time. “Kovi…you’re beautiful,” I say, softly. I gently place my hand on his cheek. Oh, he’s a tree spirit, alright. My fingers caress the tough bark of his face, and he shivers. A soft inhuman moan escapes his lips, and the branches jutting from this scalp quiver.

My Kovi likes when I touch him, even as a dryad.

“Tanner,” he says with a rumble. He opens his eyes, and his look can only be described as a begging, pleading face.

I know what he’s asking. Kovi hasn’t turned me down, but the opposite. He’s imploring me to take that final step. Me, a man, and him, a monster…we fit together. My heart swells knowing he wants to take this second chance again, for the two of us. We’re the only two people on the planet.

I need to show him I’m in this, for real.

Time slows down. In the most surreal moment of my life, I lean in and kiss him. His lips are somehow hard, like wood, but also soft, like the lips I’ve memorized. I breathe in his earthy, pine scent and stroke his cheek as his mouth kisses me back. My tongue presses forward, wanting to explore Kovi in this form, so foreign to me. When he parts his lips, I’m pleasantly surprised to find a tongue but no teeth; his mouth is all soft, pliable wood. Still, he tastes as sweet as he does as a human.

I’m kissing a dryad. I’m kissing a tree monster. Most of all, I’m truly enjoying it. This is wild .

Instinctively, I drop the bouquet so I can use both hands to touch him. My pulse pounds faster —yes, I’m getting harder down there, too —as we get into the kiss. He not as coarse as regular wood, but he’s still prickly against my mouth. His vine hands touch my shoulders, but I ignore all instincts to pull away. I’m not afraid, not when I have so much affection for this tree spirit.

As I kiss Kovi, I know that I’ve officially fallen in love with him, regardless of his form. He’s a dryad shifter, half tree spirit, half man. But I want him to be all mine. So I kiss him in the glow of the blood moon, hoping he knows exactly how I feel.

After pulling off for air, Tanner reaches up and places the bouquet in one of the campus trees, stating it’s his favorite tree. His knowledge of forestry has always been impressive, but his height as a dryad is kind of…sexy? I’ve never been physically interested in monsters per se, but there’s so much more to attraction than looks. Now that I have a clear mind and we’ve kissed, a lot of sweet ideas are dawning on me. He finishes placing the flowers in the tree, and he takes my hand in his wooden one. His tiny pliable branch fingers intertwine with mine, and sparks of affection jolt straight into my heart.

As well, feelings of lust land in my groin. I’m…actually genuinely turned on by this tree monster.

My boyfriend. The dryad.

We walk in the moonlight, leisurely making our way to the dance. As I look at him, he smiles down at me. “What?” he asks, in that deep voice.

“Nothing, just…grateful to be with you.” I squeeze his wooden hand. “Also…you’re very attractive,” I mutter with a grin.

This makes him stop. I spin around, concerned at Kovi’s frozen demeanor. Even as a tree monster, I can tell he’s nervous. “What’s wrong?”

“Tanner…” He sinks down into a cross-legged position to get eye-level with me. The sounds of music blaring from the student union yards away is the only soundtrack. “There’s…something important I need to tell you.” No one else is around, and I brace myself for whatever he might say. Did I already fuck up this second or third chance of our relationship? What did I say wrong?

“What is it? Was that wrong to say you’re attractive?” I move closer and caress his wooden face. “I meant it.”

He shakes his head. “Just…let me finish.” His drawl in this form is slower, but I like it. Still, I can’t help the new anxiety crawling up my spine. “I…am so into you.” He takes my chin and rubs it with his soft branch fingers.

“Well, good,” I reply with a grin.

“But I can’t…I can’t satisfy you…sexually…” he mutters.

Huh ? “Um, were we in the same bed? Because I thoroughly enjoyed it when we fucked.”

We both laugh, but after a moment, his smile drops. “No, I…I need to tell you about this form. Something I’ve never confessed to anyone. Not even Seth or Blake.”

I gulp. “Um…what?”

He sighs and looks around, discomfort radiating off of his tree bark. “I’ve only had sex with one other person.”

“Oh?” I frown, not understanding the controversy. So I’m not his first everything, so what?

“He was…a golem shifter, a being made of dirt and rocks. We barely dated. He graduated last year. Nice guy, but the fire between us died out quickly, so we parted ways on friendly terms.”

“Uh huh…” A possessive instinct flares in my chest. Is he about to tell me that he still likes his ex? Because I will fist fight a monster.

“But…he helped me discover sex because…” He caresses my cheek and shame floods his face. He looks down at his lap. “I can’t…have sex with a human…”

I blink at him. “Huh?”

“I…turn into full dryad when I…orgasm…” His words are barely audible.

“Come again?” I wince at my accidental wordplay—I know what he said, I just need him to clarify.

“Every time I…” He points down at where his groin would be as a human. “I turn into a mess of splinters, spike, thorns, and branches.”

Oh.

Oh .

“So is that why you…?”

“Exactly,” he mutters. The amount of embarrassment on his dryad face is palpable. “That’s why I’ve only ever focused on you.”

I nod, trying to wrap my mind around this. No amount of monster tolerance media or environmental science could have prepared me for this. “Oh, um…okay…”

“Tanner, I want to be with you…” He drops his hands and sulks in defeat. “But I can never have an orgasm with you. So, if that’s…a deal breaker, then—”

“It’s not!”

“Huh?” he asks in confusion.

My words even surprise myself. “It’s…not…” I nod and look up. “I understand your concerns, but it’s just something we can work on. Together, ideally.”

This tree monster looks so perplexed, it’s adorable—never thought I’d use that word to describe a creature made of bark. So, I move closer and pull up his wooden chin. “Tanner…I want to be with you, hard stop. We can work out the intricacies of our physical relationship later, but I’m still invested in us. I don’t wanna let you go over something so trivial as who gets to orgasm and when.”

We both chuckle, and I love how deep his voice is as a dryad. He smiles, and I gently lay a kiss on his mouth. He smells like fresh cut grass and the forest after it rains. When I pull back, I mutter, “If anything, you’ll leave me.”

“What?”

“I mean, you can give me orgasms, but I apparently, I can’t give you any.” My shoulders slump as the fear dawns on me. “I um…won’t be able to measure up to your golem ex, and…and—”

“You do!” His voice is forceful, and he stands up, tall and proud. “You’re the best, Tanner. I wouldn’t leave you for that.”

I grin and reach up my hand.

“Then will you be my date to the Halloween Ball?”

He beams down at me, then takes my hand. And together, we take the next few steps into a future of our own.