Chapter 5

Morwenna

"Drink first," he demands.

Part of me wants to shove his arm away and refuse to eat or drink anything until he's done telling me his lies, but a larger part of me wants to avoid the upcoming conversation as long as possible.

When he holds the crystal-clear glass in front of me, my mind falls silent.

I've never seen anything so beautiful. No wonder he had no qualms dirtying the water in the shower. The purity of what's in the glass is on another level. No minerals. No rust. It's so clear the fridge's imperfections show clearly through it.

Thirst grips me. I reach for the glass.

He growls and tilts the rim to my lips. I wrap my hand over his and moan in delight as the cool liquid soothes my raw throat. His gentle purr vibrates through me, and I consume the entire glass as quickly as he allows, but I nearly choke with fear when I open my eyes and see the hunger in his gaze.

The last time he looked at me with interest, I learned the true meaning of humiliation.

I push the glass away and pull the towel tighter around me before scowling up at him.

He said he didn't want to leave me, but he wasn't there when I needed him most. My exposed heart aches. I want to believe him, but my father's voice echoes in my ears. The doubts my sire planted years ago have deep roots.

Russt refills the glass, but I grind my teeth and glare up at him, daring him to offer it to me as fear and fury build in my veins. I can't handle his silence for another second, not when so much tension hangs in the air.

He deciphers the message within my expression and leaves the glass on the table as he speaks.

"Your parents fought often, but—"

"No, they didn't. He protected her from his rivals, that's why she was always hurt."

"Then why was she so cautious around him?"

"Because he was bigger and stronger than she was."

"I was bigger and stronger than you were, too. Were you ever afraid of me? Before this, I mean."

I scowl harder, angry at how easily he wrecks my defenses.

A muscle ticks in his jaw. I grip the towel so hard my fingers ache.

"Your father was a violent alpha who was never satisfied with what he had. Your mother couldn't trust him, so she never left you alone with him, and she always made sure you weren't around when they fought," he says.

He challenges me to deny it, but I can't. As I wrack my memories and realize Russt is right—I never spent time alone with my father until after my mom was gone—he picks up the glass and drinks it without offering it to me.

Did I ever really know my father as a child, or were my fond memories of him a result of my mother's lies?

Russt's Adam's apple bobs as he finishes the water. My core clenches as he swings intense eyes down at me, imploring me to understand as he struggles to control himself.

"They were arguing the night before your father killed my parents. I heard them from down the hall, so I took you to market with me instead of dropping you off at home."

I shake my head and fight back useless tears as my father's cruel words ring through my mind.

"No, I clung to your sleeve and begged you to take me with you. I didn't shed any tears, but I batted my lashes until you caved. That's one reason my father said you didn't want me anymore, because I was too clingy and needy and—"

Russt sets the glass down on the table a little too hard and cups my face. The turmoil and sincerity in his expression drop the bottom out of my stomach.

"I'm so fucking sorry I said that to you, Morwenna. I was blinded by rage. An unfounded rage. A rage built by your father." His fingers tremble against my face as he swallows and pulls me closer. The world fades away. Nothing matters beyond the alpha who holds me as though he'll fly apart if he lets go. "He lied, little mouse. I never thought you were anything but cute and precious when you showed me your needy side, and I sure as hell never said I didn't want you anymore," he says as he brushes his thumb over my cheek.

I want to believe him more than my next breath, and with my defenses shattered, I can't hide behind my anger anymore.

"Then why did you leave me?"

He brushes his thumb along my chin in a gentle, intimate caress. The regret shining from his eyes heals me more than I care to admit.

"I wish I hadn't. If I'd known your mother wasn't there to protect you anymore, I never would have run away. Even as heartbroken and angry as I was, I would have come for you. I would have fought your father again, even if it meant my death and even if you didn't want me anymore."

He moves his thumb to my cheek and catches the first tear as it slips from my lashes. Heat rushes up from my toes and leaves an incessant ache in my organs.

I swallow the lump in my throat and close my eyes, dredging up every ounce of my courage to voice questions I don't want to ask.

"Why would my father do that, Russt? Why would he kill your parents, murder my mom, lie to us, and abuse me for years?"

Warmth chases away the chill in my bones as he offers me a deep, soothing purr.

"He made me believe he attacked us because I let you get hurt at the market, but now I think it was because he felt threatened by me."

I take a shuddering breath and tilt my face into his hand.

"That makes sense," I say through a throat hoarse from abuse and thick with emotions. "You were only thirteen, but you fought off three fully grown beta males who were hardcore tweaking. It's a miracle we came home at all, much less with only cuts and bruises."

Those moments where I witnessed true violence for the first time in my life meld into the years of abuse from my father. They feel like a lifetime ago.

"In that aspect, it is my fault. Your mother tried to warn me, but I misunderstood."

"What do you mean?"

"I think she knew your father had been wary of me for a while."

Nausea grips me as I recall the tension between Russt and my father. My juvenile heart had always insisted it was because they each wanted what was best for me, not because my father was plotting to kill my suitor.

"And I'm certain she also knew I wasn't the only one he had his eyes on," he says.

"What do you mean?"

"I heard your mother scream my mother's name while they were fighting the day before."

Horror spears through me as the pieces fall into place.

"Did he… when you found him standing over your mom, had he…"

I can't speak through the disgust clogging my throat.

He shakes his head and kneads my scalp as he answers.

"I don't think so. She fought back."

I push my hand through the front of the towels and grab his wrist as I recall the last time I saw my mother. "My mom sensed it through the mate bond. I thought she rushed away because she felt my father in danger, but her expression… she was furious, not scared."

He tucks me tighter against him and presses the side of my head to his chest before capturing my wrist and bringing my hand up to his lips. My heart pounds against my sternum and I watch in wonder as his pulse leaps along the side of his neck.

"I didn't see your mom until after I escaped your father." He brushes his lips over my swollen knuckles. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation, but a wave of heat blasts through me and I struggle to hear him through the fire roaring in my veins. "I should have known what had really happened and realized you were in danger." He waits until I open my eyes to speak. With his breath ghosting over my fingers and his dark brown orbs locked on mine, he reaches deep into my soul and plucks out my pain. "I'm sorry, Morwenna."

My breath hitches on a sob, but I groan as a cramp steals through my lower abdomen. Liquid fire seeps from my core. Another wave of warmth rises from my toes.

"I know I can't erase the horrors you've faced over the years, but I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Anything?" asks the devil on my shoulder, except she's no longer stuck hovering over me. She's in my blood. Infecting my organs. Pulsing through my sex. Filling me with need.

"Almost anything," he growls.

My heart plummets, but he grips my nape and dips his gaze to my lips before meeting my eyes.

"I won't leave you. Ever. Expect to be by my side every second of every day for the rest of our lives. You're mine, little mouse, and I'm never letting you go again."

He drops his lips to my forehead in a chaste kiss, transporting me back to the day he saved me at the market. It was the last affectionate gesture he showed me before he disappeared from my life. Bittersweet yearning coats my tongue. He pulls back and flexes his fingertips into my nape.

"You don't have to forgive me right away, but—"

I reach over his shoulder and grab the hair at the base of his skull.

"Do it again," I demand.

He quirks a brow. I pull him toward me and angle my forehead to his lips. A small smile flits across his face as understanding dawns. He kisses my forehead.

It's not enough, but I relish his soft lips on my skin and mourn the loss as he pulls back.

"Again," I say as I tug his hair.

His low growl as he kisses between my eyebrows vibrates straight to my core. Warring sensations wreck my insides. My mind clings to the past, reliving the moments I felt the most cherished, while my body begs for a more carnal touch.

"Again," I demand.

"For you? My needy, demanding, cute, and sexy little mouse?" he punctuates each word with a kiss to my temples, nose, and chin before whispering against my lips, "I'll kiss you as many times as you want, anywhere you want. Any time."

Molten lava gushes from my core and need pulses in my clit as his tongue sweeps over my lips. I may not have the words to tell him, but I've already forgiven him. We've wasted too much time apart already.

I need him. Tremors run up and down my spine and branch outward from my center. A whimper escapes my throat. My alpha growls before sealing our lips together and dominating my mouth with fervent sweeps of his tongue. Dark delight pulses through me, and I rub my thighs together, seeking relief, but it's not enough.

When he lifts his face away from mine, a feral snarl rips from my chest and I yank his hair, desperate for more, but he chuckles and tightens his hand around my nape.

"Just be careful what you ask for, little mouse, because I'm already so hungry for you I might devour you in one big bite… and there's so much more I want to do to you."

Abandoning my cocoon, I fist the front of his shirt and pull myself upward until our lips connect. I can't wait anymore.

He's mine.

We'll no doubt hurt each other along the way—one conversation can't cure years of anger, hatred, abuse, and loneliness—but at least if we're together, we'll have ample opportunities to correct our mistakes.

Pain rips through my abdomen as my core clenches on nothing. Despite the fear curling through me at the thought of his monstrous cock going anywhere near me, my soul insists he's the only alpha for me. All the years of suffering under my father's fists and cruel words weren't in vain.

My omega self preens in delight. The ease with which she sinks into estrous can only mean one thing.

I'm not broken. There's nothing wrong with me.

I chose Russt a long, long time ago. The Dreadnought is the only alpha I want.

No one else will do.

I need him.

Now.