Drelix

When I found her, the star cat by my side was doing its best to keep her warm, but her lips were nearly blue and her face so pale I already thought she had gone, until I contacted Drega, and he got the human female who is a healer to help me check.

Crystal was still alive, barely. The zigurex venom already affected every part of her. Although it seemed she was still able to escape her Habosu abductors and seal them in the hold, with the help of the star cat, a creature they clearly underestimated.

The big animal pads alongside me as I make my way to the All Gods shrine.

I brought my mate here, to the sanctuary on Orias, because it is the place of healing and pilgrimage the Haisarkarnii have attended since the dawn of the ancestors. It was the closest place to the edge of Habosu space where the wormhole had dumped me and where I found the ship containing Crystal and her wannabe abductors.

I spent time on Orias as a young Haisarkarnii in long contemplation up on the peaks where my shift was tested to the limit along with my devotion. I was supposed to become a priest and spread the counsel of the All Gods. It was something I was so sure of, until my first Haisarkarnii shift revealed what I really was.

And then I knew my destiny was to be a warrior and so I joined Draco's den. My father counseled me in my choice, but ultimately he knew a Haisarkarnii goes where he is needed. So, I went.

And I lost them all.

But not Crystal, not my heartsfire. She continues to live despite all the odds. She finds assistance where it is needed. After all, she found me on Station X42…or did I find her? Except other than being warm and having her eyes open, she cannot speak or move.

And I'm told my venom cannot help her, not like before. I feel so helpless, so like I did when we found out all the arks were lost from the evacuation of Kaeh-Leks along with all our families, friends and warriors.

The reason I took my vow of silence in the first place, only to break it completely when I found my mate.

I now need the contemplation the sister suggested. I have to get my thoughts in some sort of order. I have to atone for all the things I've done in pursuit of her, but even so, leaving Crystal seems wrong somehow.

The great bell sounds, calling all those able to come to prayer and contemplation. The star cat spits, fur flickering with energy. It turns sinuously and runs, straight-legged, back the way we came.

If it is returning to my mate, I do not begrudge it her presence. But as for me, I need to get a grip on myself before I go back.

I need to be there for her without the overwhelming rage at the universe my failure has pulled from me. I need a clear head, which might be better had I slept or ate in…I don't know how long.

The shrine is filled with fragrant smoke, rising up into the tall spire which dominates the sanctuary. The bell tolls again, and I take a seat to one side as the chanting from the priests of the All Gods rises in the air.

Smoke fills my flight lungs, and I breathe out a long stream, attempting to center my rut and myself. If I cannot be a good warrior, I am no good to my mate.

"Brother Haisarkarnii." A soft voice wakes me.

"I wasn't asleep," I say quickly.

"Of course," the wizened Oykig hisses, a smile quirking the corners of his mouth and his dark eyes glittering. "I do not sleep either during the early morning prayers." He leans in a little closer. "Or those immediately after the midday meal."

The thought of food has my stomach spinning emptily.

"You look like a male who may require sustenance," the elderly priest says with another twinkling smile, his robe of dark silver denoting him to be one of the highest classes of priest here on Orias, those who have spent their lives in devotion to the All Gods.

He pulls a package out of one of his sleeves and slowly unwraps it to reveal a chunk of dried meat.

"I was saving this for later, but you should take it, to aid in your contemplations," he says with a chuckle, placing the food in my lap.

"I cannot take your meal, my elder." I give him a bow, as is his due.

"Oh, a former devotee." He chuckles again. "You have returned, I see?"

"I brought my mate. She was envenomated by a zigurex and required the assistance of the sisters here," I say as the scent of the dried meat reaches me and my stomach releases a growl to rival that of any Sarkarnii or Haisarkarnii.

"Then you are here on a noble cause," the elderly priest says. "You should eat, young one." He squeezes my arm and nods towards the food. "Keep your strength up for all your mating later."

"My mate…" I do my best to keep my voice even and not give in to the hitch which wants to insert itself. "My mate is recovering, but not enough for mating."

"Not yet," the elder says. "But you rut for her, don't you?"

I nod, unable to speak. Instead I take up the dried meat and take a bite. The flavor explodes across my tongue, and although I chew and swallow, I feel bad for taking pleasure in the taste.

"Your rut gives your mate strength," he says, staring up into the spire above.

"How can it? I have not claimed her, not through the bite, not through the dance," I say, misery flowing through every word. "I should have done these things and I failed. I let them take her. I failed even to protect her from what she feared most."

The elder priest regards me for a long time. So long, I'm beginning to wonder if he has suffered some sort of illness or death. Given Oykig have no eyelids, it's difficult to say.

"You are of this temple," he says slowly, "but not of this world. You know what your ancestors want for you because you rut for your mate."

I open my mouth to denounce what he says, but he holds up a crooked finger.

"Fate comes for us all, young one. Fate knows all, and fate takes us where we are needed to be. You have forgotten this in your time among the stars, I think."

He looks over my shoulder and I follow his gaze.

"The sisters of no mercy are looking for you," he says, and this time his voice is far away. "You should trust them with nothing, not even your mate."

"Drelix of the Sarkarnii!" one of the two sisters whispers loudly across the shrine, waving for my attention. "You must come."

"I thank you for your counsel, elder," I say to the priest.

Only he is no longer with me. Instead there is a wisp of smoke and nothing more.