13. Addison

Chapter thirteen

Addison

W as I still mad? You bet your ass I was. The first couple days after I had done the tests, I just… wallowed. And panicked, a lot. I couldn't have a kid. I was pretty sure I killed my own mother with the fucking curse running through my veins. How would I give birth, let alone care for a baby without touching their skin? I took a few days off work, not able to face my colleagues just yet. Just the thought of seeing anyone had made me want to puke.

Oh, I guess that was probably the morning sickness…

Most of my time off was spent raging. I was furious at Austin, who'd been so naive he'd let this happen. But I was angrier with myself for not paying attention. I'd gotten careless, and this was the result. Most of all, I wanted to hit Cain for voicing all of my fears so succinctly.

Was he right? Yes . Was he an asshole? Also yes .

In the dream scenario, a baby was something celebrated. But no one was celebrating this, and it hurt so badly. The rage was interspersed with a lot of tears, which made me angrier. Whenever one of the idiot men living here tried to come in, I threw things at the door, refusing to see their faces.

Wallowing was, ultimately, a little boring. I had eventually pulled out my laptop and started researching, which was what I did best. Unfortunately, ‘ what do I do if I become pregnant with my snake boyfriend's baby?' returned no useful results. Similarly, ‘ can I raise a child without ever holding them' provided no answers. I stayed up all night looking for something, anything, that might give me some sort of relief.

It was so late by the time I stumbled across an obscure post on a personal blog, referencing ‘strange powers'. I fell asleep with my laptop on my chest, chasing this lead down a bizarre rabbit hole. By lunch the next day, I was messaging someone by the screen name Angelsgrace23, who claimed to be cursed from birth with a unique ability.

I begrudgingly ate the food Cain left out my door, and my laptop pinged with a message just as I was finishing throwing it back up in the on-suite toilet. Apparently, the baby didn't like turkey sandwiches.

Angelsgrace23 and I went back and forth all afternoon, and well into the night. Neither of us were eager to trust a stranger on the internet, but after six hours of discussions, I had to admit – she seemed to check out. It was weird to know someone else like us, although there being only five of us (six if I counted Jake), seemed unlikely. I asked her all the questions I could think of, focusing on the issue at hand: would two "specials" - as she called us - be able to have a child safely?

After midnight, she told me she had to go, but she would try to find out more information for me. I thanked her and signed off, trying to get some sleep while I absorbed the impact of what this could mean. Sleep wouldn't come, though, no matter how hard I tried. My stupid bed was too empty, and I was far too angry to let any of those idiots inside just yet. I tossed and turned for ages before finally giving up and getting dressed, deciding to head into the lab for a bit. At least there I could distract myself for a little while.

It took a little effort to sneak out of the house without Cain noticing, but I managed it. As I'd anticipated, Hannah was bouncing with excitement when she saw me in my office. I explained away my sick time as a stomach bug - which wasn't far off the truth, really. I even had to visit the bathroom a few times during the day, after crossing ‘vending machine cookies' off the list of foods I could stomach. My next step was to find a doctor, and soon. I didn't even know how… far along I was. My poor, tired mind had reeled at the thought, and I dry heaved into my office garbage. That was when I called it quits for the day.

I said goodbye to Hannah and slipped out of the lab, heading back home, my eyes refusing to stay open as I walked. Somehow, I managed to get back inside and up to my room without being seen. I locked the door behind me and collapsed into bed fully clothed, succumbing to the exhaustion at last.

Knocking had woken me up from my impromptu nap, and I snarled at the door until whoever it was went away. Crawling out of bed, I checked the door and found a little tray with supper on it waiting. The sight of chili hadn't made my stomach flip, so I decided to give it a shot. Between tentative bites, I called a doctor's office I'd seen nearby. There was an OB-GYN listed there, and she agreed to see me on Saturday morning for a scan. I warned her over the phone that I was a major germaphobe and I couldn't tolerate skin-to-skin touch. She seemed okay with this, so I agreed to come see her.

There, that was taken care of. I glanced down at my abdomen, my mouth twisting as I dared it to look different, feel different, anything . When nothing burst out of me like a horror movie, I settled back down with my dinner, checking my laptop while I ate. Angelsgrace23 had messaged while I'd been asleep, having compiled some info for me. I scanned through it quickly, feeling equal parts reassured and frustrated. She'd explained that she hadn't had any luck finding an instance of two specials reproducing. However, as far as she could tell, it was like a recessive gene, and regular people could be carriers. That's why specials could be born to normal parents. If they happened to both be carriers, the child would have it.

Well then, if the science behind it stayed consistent, me and… whichever of the idiots downstairs had hit the bullseye would make a special kid. Because specials affected each other… differently - this was backed up by Angelsgrace23, who'd also assured me that this was the case with her - I wouldn't kill my child by touching them. A weight was lifted off of my chest, fresh tears leaking down my face. So then, whatever sort of curse this child was born with, we could deal with that when it came up. But I could have a baby without hurting it, hypothetically at least. At some point I fell asleep, still fully dressed, my laptop beside me on the bed.

The next few days passed in a blur. My anger was slowly dissipating, but I wasn't ready to give Cain the satisfaction of forgiveness. I continued to walk into work by myself, although at some point he had started to follow me. I let him. If he wanted to waste his time stalking me in his car, that was his problem. Ignoring him was easy, and enjoyable, knowing he was probably fuming in the car all by himself.

Saturday morning, I actually spotted him sleeping in his damn car, and that killed my enjoyment of his torture somewhat. He'd woken up as if he sensed me, and once again I had a surly shadow as I walked to my doctor's appointment. It was only a few blocks away, which was great, because I didn't think I could stomach the smells of the train right now. I slipped on a pair of gloves before I walked inside to complete the ‘germaphobe' persona I was adopting. My nerves were off the charts in the quaint little doctor's office, and my palms were clammy by the time they called my name.

Dr. Priyash was a smiley young woman, and I liked her immediately. She'd been extremely respectful about my need to not be touched skin to skin, making sure to wear gloves whenever she had to come close to me. I'd explained that my IUD had fallen out - leaving Austin's role out of it - and I'd told her that I wasn't sure how long I'd even been pregnant for.

Dr. Priyash made no comment when I pulled up my shirt, revealing the faded scars on my skin. She was the picture of professionalism as she readied the ultrasound machine and pressed the wand against my abdomen. "There, see that little blob there?" She pointed at the black-and-white image floating on the screen. "That's the fetus. I'd say you're only five or six weeks from the size." She fiddled with the dials until a fast-paced thumping filled the room. She frowned, moving the wand to the other side of my abdomen.

"Is something wrong?" I asked nervously. That thumping sounded funny. It wasn't a proper heartbeat. Oh god, was my child fucked up even before it left my body?

"I'm just trying to get a better view," she murmured. "Ah, there it is. You've got a second little one in there." She smiled at me as my jaw dropped open.

"What? Two?" I asked, sweat breaking out across my forehead.

"Yes, it's twins! Congratulations!" she beamed. "So that makes my initial estimation wrong. I'd say that you're closer to eight or nine weeks then. Would you like a photo to show the father?" she asked. I nodded dully, and she printed a grainy little photo of my uterus and its new occupants, handing it to me with a smile.

"Alright, I want you started on a prenatal vitamin right away, and I will book you in now for your twenty-week scan. If you have any questions, or you start to feel weird, you call me directly, alright? My receptionist will put you through anytime."

I smiled wanly and used the tissue she'd handed me to wipe the jelly off my stomach. I tucked the little photo in my pocket as I headed back out in a daze, noticing Cain out of the corner of my eye, hunched over in the car. Okay, I guess the war would have to end now. This was fucking real, and everyone would need to adjust to it real goddamn fast. When I got home, I taped the ultrasound photo to the fridge before heading back up to my room to shower. I let the water wash away the clammy sweat I built up on the walk home, and I dry heaved a couple more times for good measure, my stomach cramping with… either hunger or nausea. I couldn't tell at this point.

When I got out of the shower, I could hear Cain yelling about something, storming around the house more loudly than normal. I got dressed in a pair of leggings and a loose tee-shirt – one of Wyatt's, I think. My lips quirked up into a small smile when I heard Cain yell ‘Family Meeting'. Once the footsteps receded downstairs, I snuck out of my room and tiptoed down the hallway. I took a seat on the stairs where I could listen in to his tirade. I almost gave myself away when he actually apologized, and a gasp of shock fell past my lips. Listening to him berate everyone made me feel bad. I had been pretty hard on them this week. I should have been paying more attention to Wyatt, who clearly needed help and not just a firm scolding.

Finally, I couldn't just listen anymore. Especially when Cain clearly hadn't read the ultrasound properly. Did I take a sick amount of joy in shocking him with the concept of twins? Oh yes. My joy was short-lived when my big surly man stumbled back and dropped to sit on the coffee table, making it creak in protest. He dropped his head between his knees, and I sighed as he started to hyperventilate.

"Twins?" Austin rasped, drawing my attention back to the couch, where my men were sitting like they were in trouble in the principal's office. Austin's pupils were enormous, his face strained as he keened softly, clenching the couch cushion so hard his knuckles were turning white.

"Yup. Two babies. I guess I'm already eight and a half weeks, ish?" I explained, touching my stomach nervously. Austin slid off the couch and onto his knees. My stomach flipped as he crawled toward me, gazing on me in rapt attention.

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked softly, raising up on his knees in front of me, his fists clenched at his sides. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… to… " His face screwed up as he thought it over. "To take away your choice?" he finished, glancing back at Cain, who was busy trying not to faint. My lips quirked up in a soft smile.

"I know you didn't mean to," I told him gently, "And it wasn't your fault anyway. I guess it must've gotten knocked out of position before it came out, because of the timing of it all." I watched him smile as I reached out to run my hand through his hair. The contact did it, and I saw his composure snap all at once. He rose up faster than I could blink, his arms wrapping around my waist as he captured my lips with his, kissing me with a fierceness that stole my breath away. I squeaked when he bent suddenly and scooped me up, carrying me to the empty love seat and laying me down so gently it made me laugh. My shirt was pulled up, nearly ripping in his haste, and he nuzzled his face against my stomach, the cool metal of his piercings tickling my skin.

"Gentle with her, Jesus, Austin!" Cain snapped, his face still tinged green, and he cradled his head in his hands. A hand slid across my shoulder, rings glinting in the light. I looked up to see Piper on his knees, his eyes clear and full of tears.

"Are you happy or sad?" I asked him softly, reaching out to cup his cheek with my palm.

"Both," he replied, a tear coming loose and splashing against my fingers. He bent forward, his lips ghosting across mine, unexpectedly timid for Piper.

"Have you seen them?" I asked, and he shivered against my hand. The room went so silent it was like the air was sucked out of it.

"No. There's only darkness in my dreams now," he whispered, and a chill prickled at my skin. He reached out, his hand joining Austin's as it stroked the skin of my abdomen.

"Looks like it'll be a surprise for everyone then," Wyatt chuckled weakly, shifting on the couch. "Piper can't cheat this time." His hands were twisting restlessly in his lap, and I reached out to grab one. To my surprise, he flinched away like I was poisonous. I sat up abruptly, startling Austin and Piper.

"What's wrong with you, Shades?" I snapped, a little harsher than I meant to. He looked down at the floor, running his hands through his hair.

"Everything's fine," he bit back, and Cain turned, scowling at his tone. I shifted off the couch, standing and walking toward him. He backed away from me like I was carrying the plague.

"Wyatt, what the hell? Pregnancy isn't contagious," I told him sharply, and all but leapt on him, climbing onto his lap so he couldn't run away. I straddled his hips, and he did his absolute best to not touch me, even though it was pretty much impossible at this point. "Talk to me Shades, what's wrong with you?"

"I don't… I don't want to hurt the babies," he muttered, and I raised my eyebrows at him.

"And how would touching me hurt them?" I asked, frowning. He shifted uncomfortably underneath me, looking sheepish.

"What if I… what if I give them my pain by accident? Or my…" He waved his hand, gesturing at his head. I sighed and grabbed his hand, pressing it against my face. He started to panic, and I shushed him abruptly.

"Feel. Just feel," I snapped, and he finally stilled, his face softening ever so slightly. "What do you sense?" I asked.

"Calm… happiness… excitement…" he mumbled, and dammit, a tear streaked down his cheek as well.

"I know every one of us has some… family baggage, and a baby - babies – bring that to the forefront of everyone's mind. But I've been doing some research. From a biological standpoint, we should pose no harm to the babies. It works in our favor for once that we're all a little fucked up." I smiled sadly, stroking Wyatt's cheek. He leaned into my hand, and I smiled at my little Eeyore. I needed to pay closer attention to these broken boys. They'd fallen apart in only a few days.

"We need a new car," Cain announced, catching my attention. He was standing again and pacing the floor in front of the couch nervously.

"Why?" Austin asked, sitting down beside Wyatt and me, his hand going to my lower back.

"We can't fit a car seat in my car!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his hair. "Oh fuck, two car seats…" He looked over at the stairwell, paling again.

"Baby gates. We'll need so many baby gates, we have too many stairs. Addy, you need to move into my room. You should be closer to the main floor in case of a fire. Oh fuck, my window doesn't open properly. I'll call a guy. We need to make sure the fire escape is up to code, too. Maybe we can convert the studio so you can just live on the main floor. But the break-in risk… I need to get an upgraded security system." He had his phone out, typing frantically. I could literally see the smoke curling off his body as small burns appeared on his shirt.

"Cain!" I snapped, and he turned, his eyes flashing red. "Could you make some more of that chili from the other night?" I asked, and he stopped in his tracks. "It was the only thing in three days that didn't make me puke." I wrinkled my nose, and Austin keened sadly, nuzzling my neck.

"I can make chili." Cain nodded quickly, smoke curling over his tongue with each exhale. "I can make it right now." He nearly ran to the kitchen, and I flinched when pots hit the floor, followed by cursing.

Okay, so overall, it could've gone worse. And we had, like, seven months to get our shit together. That wasn't so bad, was it?

It was all uphill from here.