Chapter 19

With a heavy heart, Vanessa watched Easton leave the room. She expelled a deep sigh.

At one point, all she could think of was running away to Ireland with the viscount, but now that the opportunity had finally presented itself, she found that it wasn't so easy to give up everything again, just to appease another man. She cared for Lord Fane very much and had already admitted to herself that she loved him, but the truth was, she was still fearful of living with anyone else again. Although she knew that he would do everything in his power to make her happy, that they could enjoy painting side by side for the rest of their days, it was still the uncertainty of the future that caused her to close herself off from him. In this instance, the heart was willing, but the reality of what might happen was stronger.

Deciding to stretch her legs as well, Vanessa headed out to the courtyard. She walked outside and was glad to have her pelisse with her. As a breeze flowed over her, she realized that autumn would soon be upon them. The leaves were still green and lush, but within a few weeks, the branches would be bare. A lump formed in her throat when she considered the same. She didn't want to live the rest of her days like the barren branch of an oak. Now that she had discovered what it was like to love, she was reluctant not to grasp it with both hands.

She would have to make a decision about her future very soon. If Easton returned to Ireland, there was the good chance that he might never return for her. He might wait for her for a time, but she was sure that he had his limitations as well. The question was, could she endure the devastation of his loss forever?

It was a thought that kept ruminating in her mind for most of the afternoon. But it wasn't as though conversation was plenty in the carriage. Mr. Chapman had returned to reading, and Lady Beauvais continued her nap. Somewhere at the inn, Lord Fane had procured a newspaper. He kept it in front of him most of the time, either as a barrier between them or because he was completely engrossed in the articles within. She had the sinking feeling it was the former.

When they stopped at another inn for the evening, Vanessa was surprised to find that Lady Beauvais had secured her a room of her own. She imagined that the lady might suggest they share to conserve funds, but apparently, she wasn't concerned about the expense. Lord Fane and the solicitor took care of their own lodgings as well. It was fortuitous that it wasn't a busy time of the year for travel, or they might not have gained such a boon as separate rooms.

After requesting a tray in her room, along with a few buckets of water for a bath, she climbed into the copper tub and leaned her head against the back. She was grateful for the soothing warmth that it provided. Not only did it cleanse her body, but it also helped to ease her mind and soul.

She remained until the water cooled, and then she got out and dried off. She removed a few toiletries from her valise as she combed her hair and donned a robe. She wasn't sure what time it was, but it had long grown dark outside.

She was allowing her hair to dry before the fire when there was a light knock. Thinking it was the countess, she got up and moved to the door. When she opened it, the viscount stood there.

He was leaning against the frame in trousers and a cambric shirt, and looked as though he was overset about something. "Can I come in?" he asked harshly.

Afraid that something had happened, she urged him inside. "Of course." She shut the door behind them, but when she turned around, it was to find herself in his arms.

At first, she wanted to resist his magnetic allure, but she was powerless to do so when she wanted him just as much, had been aching for this very moment.

His lips descended on hers and she melted in the embrace.

It was over too soon.

As he pulled away, his breathing heavy to match hers, he whispered, "You will have to tell me to stop, to send me away. I have dreamed of nothing else but being with you again."

She shook her head. "Then you will be disappointed because I don't want you to go."

He growled under his breath and kissed her again. This time it was filled with all the passion and desire that she might have expected. In the next instant, he was sweeping her into his arms and carrying her over to the bed. He laid her down and immediately went to work on the ties of her robe. He parted the material and his nostrils flared as he beheld her naked form.

With a single lamp in the room to add a soft glow of light, she realized that she wasn't ashamed when his gaze traveled slowly up and down her body. In truth, she thrilled at the lust she saw in his dark gaze. "You're so beautiful," he murmured.

Grasping her legs, he fell to his knees and set his head at the apex of her thighs. At the first swipe of his tongue along her slit, she reached out and grasped his shoulders. Just like before, she went soaring to the heavens. As she trembled in the aftermath, he got back to his feet and removed his clothes. He started to position himself at her entrance, but she stopped him.

There was a sheen of perspiration on his brow, but when she bent her head and took him tentatively into her mouth, he hissed. "God, Vanessa."

She felt his palm on the back of her head. She wasn't sure of the rhythm he wanted, but he guided her until his breathing became harsh.

When he seemed close to his release, he pulled away from her. "I want to be inside you."

He grasped her hips and urged her onto her hands and knees, where he thrust into her. The sensation of being filled so completely caused her to gasp. Had anything ever felt so good?

As his movements became relentless, she could feel another release building up inside of her. It washed over her in such pleasure that spots danced before her vision. She closed her eyes and rode the tide as he groaned and spilled himself deep within her.

* * *

As Vanessa collapsed onto her stomach, Easton grasped the headboard to keep from falling on top of her. His knees were weak, and his lungs felt as though they might implode, but it had been worth all the torment waiting to be joined with her again. Each time, it seemed she consumed him further, that their bond grew stronger and more tenable against any foe.

God only knew that they needed all the reinforcements they could obtain right now. Easton had no doubt that justice would win the day with his current troubles. It did concern him, but there was enough evidence on his side that he felt confident the judge would rule in his favor.

Vanessa was the one he was worried about the most. Her main concern was facing her past, returning to the place she had called home for three miserable years. He had no idea what she might think when she returned. Would she be swamped with sour memories? Or finally allow her soul to recover from all those years of abuse from a man who hadn't been worthy to call himself her husband?

He slid onto the bed beside her and gathered her into his arms, her back to his front. As he gently wiped her fiery blonde hair away from her face, he realized he hadn't taken the necessary precautions to ensure she didn't get with child. It was the second time he'd made that error. The sole excuse he had was that he had been overwhelmed with need for her.

"I wish it could always be like this."

He frowned at the slightly melancholy tone in her voice. "Who is to say it can't be?"

"I know the reality."

Easton couldn't let that stand. He urged her to turn around and face him. When she did, he cupped her face in his palm. "Reality is what you allow it to be. We can choose to be happy and not let circumstances get the better of us, or we can stand and fight to the occasion. Either way, my reality is that I will do whatever it takes to make you happy."

Her lips turned upward. "You're a good man, Easton."

He couldn't resist teasing her, and hopefully, ease some of the uncertainty on her face. Letting his gaze slowly travel up and down her frame, he said, "And you're a very good woman, Vanessa."

He was satisfied to see a slight pinkening of her cheeks, before a devilish gleam entered those ocean-blue eyes. "Is that so?" She rolled on top of him and pinned his arms above his head. He liked this position very much because it gave him a glorious view of her full breasts. He lifted his head and took one taut peak into his mouth. He looked directly at her as he sucked, then allowed his tongue to dart out and lick the tip.

"I take it back," she said with a hitch in her voice. "You're a wicked man."

"You make me that way."

He moved his arms from her loose grip and grabbed both of her breasts with his hands. He took turns worshiping one and then the other. When she bit her lip, her eyes closing in rediscovered ecstasy, his cock started to harden. It wasn't difficult to slide into her from beneath, and when she started to rub her enticing derriere along his cock, he soon found himself lost to the erotic movements.

He continued to tease and torment her breasts as she rode him to a second climax. When she shuddered on top of him, he knew that she had found her pleasure as well.

Easton wanted nothing more than to linger, to keep her wrapped in his arms for the rest of the night, but he knew he couldn't remain. Lady Beauvais might allow them brief interludes, but they still had to be discreet.

However, he waited until her breathing eased and as her eyes drifted closed, he could tell she was starting to fade. "I have to go."

"I know."

"I don't want to go. I would rather stay here with you."

"Hmmm. Me too."

He smiled at her sleepy reply, and with one last lingering glance at her, he donned his clothes and slipped out of the room.

* * *

Vanessa awoke sometime in the middle of the night. She instinctively reached out beside her, but the bed was cold and empty. Disappointment shot through her, but what had she expected? She might as well get used to sleeping alone, because Easton would soon be walking out of her life, not just the door to her bedchamber. She had made this decision because she wasn't confident of their future together. If she was miserable because of it, she supposed she had no one to blame but herself.

She lay on her back, and although her body ached, it was glorious. In truth, she had never felt quite so happy as she did in that moment. She knew that Easton was an entirely different man from Frank, as well as her father, but she couldn't shake the feeling that there was an expectation that history would repeat itself.

She told herself that once she had laid Frank to rest and Lord Fane's painting issue was resolved, she would feel much more secure in her feelings for him.

Thus emboldened, Vanessa was comforted enough to go back to sleep.

When the morning arrived and Lady Beauvais arrived with the request that she join her for breakfast in the dining room, Vanessa did so with a gracious smile.

"You seem particularly happy this morning," the countess noted.

Vanessa's footsteps almost faltered. "I slept well."

The lady sniffed. "No doubt Lord Fane's visit had something to do with that."

Again, Vanessa nearly stumbled. "I'm sure I don't know what you—"

Lady Beauvais waved a hand. "Come now. We are women. It's difficult for most of us to hide when we have been thoroughly pleased by a man. You have the look of satisfaction upon your face, so I can only commend the viscount for doing his job properly."

If she was speaking to any other woman, Vanessa might have been shocked by her words, but the countess was not any usual lady. She had long been a mistress to the Prince Regent, not just for companionship but for the protection of the Crown. For someone who had suffered throughout her own past, the countess was resilient. After she was cast out of her home in Paris by her husband's relation after the war, Vanessa had heard the lady tell Miss Grantham and Miss Stratford that she would never find herself in a powerless situation again.

Thus far, she had fulfilled that vow by ensuring that her wealth remained steadfast, securing various investments and property that had served her well.

Vanessa realized that they had more in common than she had believed. They had both faced adversity and become stronger in spite of it.

As she entered the dining hall and saw Lord Fane standing there, Vanessa's breath caught. She was tired of the misgivings that plagued her. She wanted to live a free life, and with him, she would always be free.

She sat down beside him and grasped his hand beneath the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He glanced at her and those amber eyes warmed with affection. They reluctantly withdrew when Mr. Chapman entered the room.

After the meal, they all returned to the coach, where the journey to London continued. With any luck, and so long as the weather continued to be favorable, this evening should see them pulling into the city. Lady Beauvais had offered the use of her townhouse when they arrived, although Mr. Chapman would return to his own residence and reconvene with them in the morning after they'd had some time to rest and reach out to the accusers and summon the proper authorities.

Most of the day was spent discussing the court proceedings to come. Mr. Chapman opened the conversation, "As a peer of the realm, we have already discussed the right to invoke the privilege of the peerage since this is a civil matter. It will be helpful if things become too heated since this is your first offense."

He looked at Vanessa. "I will also have to insist upon a scandalum magnatum to ensure that these accusations do not injure anyone close to me."

Mr. Chapman nodded as he scribbled in a journal. "That is wise of you, my lord. I will see that the barrister is apprised of your wishes."

"Is there anything that can be done about Lady Ashefeld to ensure she is dealt with?" The countess noted with a sniff. "Properly this time?"

"Submitting a false accusation, especially against a peer, is a serious offense," The solicitor noted firmly. "I can promise you that should she wish to injure anyone after this, her word will count for very little, as well as that of her sister, Mrs. Broadtree. I shouldn't be surprised if Lord Devonshire is also barred from certain circles after this. Most notably after these offenses are combined with the illegal duel that resulted in Mr. McGavin's demise, who was a prominent magistrate, regardless of his personal affairs." He shot an empathetic glance at Vanessa.

She offered him a brief nod in recognition of his attempt at being tactful.

"Good." The solicitor inclined his head. As he started to drone on about further legal matters, Vanessa found herself listening with half an ear, although her focus was entirely on Easton. She vividly recalled the previous evening, and her desire for him grew with each passing moment—as did her love. She realized she'd been a fool if she thought she could ever allow him to leave her behind when he went back to Ireland. She might be hesitant about marrying again, but surely they could embark on a lengthy engagement. The idea of moving to a new place was also disconcerting, but so long as he was there with her, they could handle anything.

* * *

Easton chided himself because he wasn't fully listening to what Mr. Chapman was saying. He knew he should be cognizant of what he was saying, but all he could focus on was Vanessa.

Although she still wore that dreadful black, she still looked lovely. Her face had some marked color, and her strawberry-blonde hair was pulled up into a simple knot at the nape of her neck. However, that didn't keep a few stray hairs from escaping and brushing against her forehead.

He didn't care how long it took, what he had to do to convince her to stay with him, he was determined to enact whatever was necessary to gain her love. He hadn't waited this long in life just to allow the perfect woman to slip through his fingers. She had her faults just as he did, of course, but he adored everything about her.

He loved her.

The conclusion hit him square in the chest. He was surprised it had taken him this long to admit his feelings for her, but he hadn't wanted to confuse them with his muse. She would always be the inspiration he'd been looking for because she was the one he'd been searching for his entire life. She was the one person who he would give up painting to be with, although he knew she would never ask it of him because she loved the same.

She was his match in every way that mattered, and she might very well be carrying his child. He hadn't taken the necessary precautions that he normally did, but he didn't care because, as far as he was concerned, they would never be parted.

The day waned and dusk fell as they rolled into the outskirts of London.

It had been a decade since he'd seen the familiar sights around him, but he realized that other than the cobblestone streets and a few notable landmarks that jogged his memory, it had grown exponentially since his last visit. There were more towering chimneys, and there was a thick soot that filled the air.

The traffic was definitely more notable as well. Carriages crowded the streets, and the scent of horses and waste were as prevalent as the smoky haze. He would be grateful to get back to Ireland, where the green, rolling hills beckoned. Although he had to admit that he would prefer Burnham-On-Sea and the long stretch of sand to this congestion.

Mr. Chapman was the first one to disembark. He mentioned that he would return with the barrister bright and early the next morning.

By the time they had made it to Mayfair, some of the crowd had finally lessened, and Easton was glad to note that the air seemed a bit less hazy as well.

He must have made some sort of distasteful expression as he stepped to the ground because when the countess joined him, she gave a chuckle and said, "Welcome back to London, my lord."

"Indeed." He grimaced, not bothering to hide his reaction now.

"Come along. The guest rooms should be prepared, and I daresay I could use some tea after that harrowing journey."

Easton put a hand over his heart. "Don't say that we were such horrible traveling companions," he jested.

"Not at all," she returned. "It is merely my ancient bones that are starting to protest such lengthy travel."

Vanessa walked up beside him and as the countess spoke to her servants, she murmured in an aside to him, "If she is old, I shudder to think what I shall be like at the same age."

He looked at her and said in all seriousness, "You will still be breathtaking."