CHAPTER EIGHT

FERN

When the rush of my orgasm fades, I pull my hand out of my panties and stare in shock at my fingers coated in the warm sticky proof that yes, I just masturbated at a window staring down at a crew of guys installing my septic tank.

I push to my feet and race to the bathroom, planning to wash my hands and clean up between my legs. Sadly, I forgot the disconnected the water to set up the septic tank. I have to clean up the best I can with toilet paper and hand sanitizer. My panties are beyond soaked and there's even a huge wet patch on my shorts. I bury them at the bottom of the hamper as if that can hide the truth of what I've done.

Even now, the satisfaction of a good orgasm radiates through me. It's been a long time since I've experienced that. With my marriage on the rocks for months before Jared's accident and then his death and dealing with the aftermath of all that mess, sex has been pretty far down on my list of things to worry about.

Guess I was overdue.

Deep down, I know that's not all it was.

It's Alex and his flirting. It's the way his smile makes me feel all warm inside and how his manly scent drives me wild.

It's my day off and with nothing else to do, I slump on my bed and read hoping to keep my thoughts from turning again and again to a certain man.

Around noon, the sounds of starting engines perk my interest and I look out my bedroom window to see the white work trucks leaving. Guess they're all going on a lunch break.

Happy to have the place to myself again, I slip on my sneakers and go out to check my mail. It's all bills, fun, fun, that I dump in my kitchen before heading outside to check out my backyard.

Turning the corner of the house, the destruction of my butterfly bushes leaves me with a sick, hollow feeling in my stomach. I loved those bushes and all the butterflies, moths, and other insects they attracted. They were some of the only touches I added to the outside of the house and now they're ruined.

But it's when my eyes land on the smashed remains of my bird bath tossed to the side like garbage that despair takes over. The backyard is wrecked! Huge, towering mountains of dirt line the sides of my yard, with long trenches dug deep down the middle of it. It doesn't even resemble a yard let alone my yard any longer.

My teeth dig painfully into my lower lip as I hold back my tears.

Tears are useless and wasted. Facts are facts. I don't have the money in the budget for landscaping to fix this.

That's a laugh, what budget? I don't have money, period.

I walk over to inspect one of the trenches, seeing gravel and a long pipe in it.

Surely, they're going to cover it up because we never had exposed pipes and stones before, nor have I ever seen anyone else's yard like this. Some of my worry eases.

Alex is right. I should have paid more attention to what this all entailed. I should ask him to explain the process again.

"Not very pretty, is it?"

As if my thoughts summoned him, Alex's voice pipes up from behind me.

Whirling, I gasp at how close he is. Close enough to reach out and touch. How long has he been here for? I didn't hear the trucks returning.

While I blink up at him, he comes even closer, his blue eyes slowly roaming over my face as gentle as a caress. "Not like you," he says with a husky catch in his voice.

I back up a step, struggling to make sense of his words. "What?"

His hand gestures at the yard. "This mess isn't pretty. You are."

Heat flares and I squirm. Despite my fantasies and earlier fun, I try to ignore his compliment. "Is it always going to look like this?"

When he doesn't answer, I scowl and look away. "I mean, do I need to fix it?"

Alex huffs out a small laugh. "We'll grade it and put down some grass seed before we go."

"Grade?"

"Level it. Make it look nice and tidy for you."

At that, I heave a sigh of relief while Alex turns his attention upwards to the sky. The tiny lines around his eyes deepen. "You'll want to water the hell out of it in this heat if you want the grass seed to take."

"You should wear sunglasses," I blurt out.

His gaze lowers and his lips inch up. I've rarely seen him without a smile. And never a fake smile, but always real, genuine smiles that make me smile back.

In the past five months, I've had extremely little to smile about. Somehow Alex makes me forget that.

"Noted," he says with a nod.

"What are you still doing here?" It comes out sounding way too accusatory, and I immediately wish I could jump in one of the holes in my yard and disappear for a while. Since that's not an option, I try to soften it. "I saw the trucks leaving. It's your lunch time, right?"

"It is. I packed mine and ate it in the shade." He jerks a thumb behind him at the pile of half-uprooted butterfly bushes.

I walked right by him and didn't even notice!

Misreading the flush on my face, his smile drops. "I'm sorry about your bushes. Sadly, anything in the way goes."

"You couldn't have moved the birdbath?"

Those wide shoulders of his hitch up in a tight shrug. "We didn't see it. The excavator goes in and tears out everything down to the level we need for the main line from the house to the tank to go in." His mouth quirks up slightly. "If I would have seen it, I would have moved it for you."

Sincerity rings in his voice and some of my upset over it eases. "Thank you." I shuffle a step to the side. "I'll stop interrupting your lunch and let you eat in peace."

"You aren't interrupting anything. In fact, I was hoping I'd see you."

He turns and walks over to the felled bushes, leaving me puzzling over things. Crouching, he digs in a blue cooler that I must have been blind to have missed earlier. He pulls out a bag and with his long strides, he's back in front of me in no time.

Opening the bag, he offers me something.

I stare down at it, realizing that it's a chocolate chip cookie. It's big, beautifully golden and looks utterly delicious.

Still, I hesitate.

"My hands are clean, I promise," he says with a hint of laughter in his voice as he holds out his other to prove his point. A bit of melted chocolate glistens on the edge of his pinkie finger. Quickly, he raises his hand, darting out his tongue and licks it off.

Want explodes in me as I imagine that tongue licking other places.

Almost as if he can read my naughty thoughts, his eyes flicker with heat and he comes even closer.

The hot, male scent of him makes my mouth water more than the sight of the cookie did.

Desperate to get those thoughts out of my head, I grab the cookie from him and take a big bite.

My taste buds hum in pleasure as my eyes widen. "This is incredible! The best thing I've eaten in a long time," I say around a mouthful even as I pop the rest in my mouth.

And it's the truth. There's been no money for even tiny luxuries like these.

I swallow and lick around my lips, removing any stray crumbs or smudges of chocolate. "Did you get these at Carla's bakery?" I ask, naming the amazing little bakery in town. Before Jared's death, I went in there frequently for breads and sweet treats.

He hands me a second cookie and smiles. "No, I made them."

I pause with the cookie halfway to my mouth.

Alex holds up his hands and turns them back and forth. "Again, clean hands, I promise."

He's so cute that I laugh. "No, I'm merely surprised that you made these. Why are you pumping stinky septic tanks and not opening up your own bakery?"

Because I wasn't joking, these are seriously the best cookies I've ever had.

Red highlights his tan cheeks as pleasure warms his eyes. "I don't bake that often and don't make anything besides cookies and the occasional loaf of banana bread."

I finish off the second cookie in record time and wish he had more. "If I could afford to, I'd pay you to bake chocolate chip cookies and banana bread for me anytime."

Stepping closer, Alex's big work boots bookend my sneakers. "You don't have to pay me," he says softly. "I'd happily make them for you. I made these for you last night."

Something catches in my chest. "You did?"

His upper body leans closer and now he's firmly in my space. "Yes, I have more in the cooler for you, too."

"Why would you do that?" I whisper.

"Because you looked like you could use some chocolate chip cookies." He lowers his head, his mouth close enough that his warm breath puffs against my lips.

He's right. I did need cookies.

"There's something else I think you need too."

His husky, low voice sends bolts of desire shooting through me.

My tongue glides over my lips as I pant out, "What?"

"This."

Alex's mouth presses to mine.

His big, calloused palms cup my cheeks with upmost care as he angles my face. Firm and warm lips move over mine, his tongue gently teasing at the seam of my lips.

Opening for him, his tongue slips inside, the soft tip touching mine. He tastes like chocolate, sunshine, and something purely male. As his tongue strokes mine, every bit of longing that's been bottled up inside comes screaming to the surface.

With a moan, I open my mouth wider and thrust my tongue into his mouth. Our tongues slide and play, twisting around the other as our lips cling and suck. It's messy, wet, and gloriously sexy.

His hands drop from my face and suddenly the hot heat of them brands into my hip as he drags me closer, pressing me against the hard length of his body.

A thick, instantly recognizable protrusion grinds into my stomach. My knees nearly go weak, and I clutch at his arms, feeling the solid bunch of them under my fingers.

For so long I've felt like everything is out of my control. Nothing in my life is safe as problems pile up and crash down on me, leaving me feeling helpless and so utterly alone.

Alex is so wonderfully solid.

For the first time it's like the earth is still and I can get out from under what's been burying me. I'm safe.

His mouth moves hungrily, capturing and claiming my lips as his hips snap against me, his huge erection pushing hard into me. Even through our clothes I can feel the heat of his big body as he holds me.

An annoying beep intrudes into our little bubble, and he pulls back, his tongue licking over my lips as if he can't bear to truly break our connection. When his tongue does leaves me, I blink my eyes open, sad to see the world of my torn apart yard is still here.

"The rest of the crew will be back soon."

His hands release my hips. I stumble back, unsteady on my feet. Instantly his fingers are on my arms, keeping me upright before he slowly lets me go again.

Without his touch I feel lost and as if mirroring my mood the clouds move across the sun leaving us in shadows.

"I should go." Swallowing hard, I turn and practically race away, my head whirling as I try to process the last several minutes.

"Wait," Alex calls out.

He easily catches up with me and digs in his cooler again, handing me a bag stuffed full of cookies.

I mutter a fast thanks and escape into the house as the work trucks return and begin crowding my driveaway.

The timing seems perfect. Did Alex plan that?

Clutching the bag of cookies to my chest, my lips tingle and the taste of Alex fills my senses.

Does it matter?