Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Oliver checked again to ensure his bedroom door was locked. Was it the third time? The fourth? It had become a habit now, a ritual that reassured him. He’d lived his entire life in a world where locks didn’t exist, where privacy was a foreign concept, where his boundaries were completely ignored.

He still couldn’t believe his new reality, where locks represented freedom, contradictory as that might sound. Now, he could choose to hide away in his room, and no one would enter.

He took a deep breath, turned toward the mirror on the back of the door, and stepped close to study himself. The last evidence of Dempsey’s final act of brutality was gone. Finally. It had taken a long time for every bruise to disappear, for the ache in his ribs to subside, for the dull, throbbing pressure in his head to drift away.

Rest. Aside from painkillers, that had been the thing that had done the job. Rest. He slept for hours and hours, still took a three-hour nap every afternoon, only to crawl into bed again by nine and be knocked out until the early hours of the morning. Eleven or twelve hours of sleep every night was still his new normal.

Enar had explained his system was recovering. Not just Oliver’s body but his mind and soul as well. It made sense. He never felt more at peace than when he was about to fall asleep, safely tucked in a warm, clean bed, knowing that nothing and no one could hurt him.

Adar wouldn’t allow anything to happen to him.

He had become Oliver’s shadow, always watching him from a distance, guarding him, keeping him safe. He never talked to Oliver, never crowded him, never did anything to trigger Oliver’s overly sensitive defense mechanisms. All the other alphas still did, despite their best intentions. They didn’t do it on purpose. Sometimes, Oliver couldn’t even explain what had put him on the defense, but he didn’t feel safe with them. Even though he knew they would never hurt him, his subconscious hadn’t accepted that truth yet.

But Adar? The biggest alpha of them all didn’t scare Oliver one bit. On the contrary, his massive size only helped Oliver feel safe and protected. That, plus the man’s care. Oliver wasn’t sure if Adar ever slept, let alone when and where, but as soon as Oliver set foot outside his cabin, Adar was there, sending him a soft smile whenever Oliver met his eyes. Following him at a distance, never threatening, just his constant shadow.

In his belly, something clenched, and Oliver winced as he slapped a hand against the mirror to steady himself. He was running out of time. His heat was coming, and he needed a solution. Even thinking about it made him sick to his stomach, but as much as his new pack and clan assured him his life was in his own hands now, this was one area where he didn’t have a choice.

Dragons couldn’t ride out their heats by themselves. Their sexual needs were too strong. At least, Oliver’s were. He transformed into another person, a shameless, needy whore. And he hated himself for it.

Oliver’s eyes flashed with anger as he studied his reflection in the mirror. How could biology be so cruel as to give omega a need for the one thing that could hurt them: alphas. In the throes of his heat, Oliver didn’t have a will anymore, just needs that demanded to be satisfied. It was basically a blank permission slip to the alphas to do whatever they wanted to him without him uttering so much as a word of protest. Not during his heat, anyway.

No, it wasn’t till afterward that he’d realize what they had done, how they had violated him. But how could he protest when he’d all but begged them to do it? He wasn’t himself during his heat. None of the omegas were.

And if the Murphy alphas had even an ounce of honor in them, they would’ve known that. But they had never seen omegas as beings with their own will and voice, worthy enough to be listened to. They were nothing more than objects to be used, valued even less than pets.

The alphas here were different, not a dishonorable one among them. But what would they do when Oliver begged them for all kinds of crazy stuff during his heat? Would they realize it wasn’t really him and ignore his pleas? Or would they also take it as permission to do whatever the hell they wanted? How could he trust them to respect his boundaries? He didn’t even know them.

A big reason was that they all stayed away from him out of fear of scaring him. The irony was that because of that, he hadn’t come to know any of the single ones to a degree where he could entrust them with his body.

Except Adar. Oliver walked toward the window. The sun was setting in a spectacular explosion of colors. What was it about Adar that made it so easy to trust him? He was bigger than all of them, yet Oliver wasn’t scared of him. Why?

Was it because Adar had spent so much time around him that he’d gotten used to him? It wasn’t like he knew him. They never talked, rarely interacted. So, what was it that made the difference?

He trusted him. He had from the beginning. Even those first few days, when everything had been hazy and his body had hurt so much that he’d thrown up from the pain. When he’d wanted to die to end his miserable life, Adar had been there…and Oliver hadn’t minded. Even when he’d been scared of his own shadow, he’d never been afraid of Adar.

The truth flowed into him as gently as a breeze. Adar was his fated mate. He had to be. There was no other plausible explanation.

Oliver closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Okay then. He had a mate. It would’ve been terrifying had it been anyone but Adar, but even though his heart raced and his hands grew clammy, he wasn’t scared.

Concerned, maybe. Worried about how things would work out between them. Adar was the perfect specimen of an alpha, and Oliver was…well, a wreck.

He didn’t say that out of some misplaced sense of self-loathing, but it was the truth, wasn’t it? He was, at best, a survivor of horrific abuse, more commonly known as a wreck. If he ever got over what had been done to him, it would take years and years. Hell, he still barely spoke and only to Fallon. Kinda hard to build a relationship with someone when you couldn’t talk to him.

But it was okay. They would be okay. He trusted Adar, and so far, the man hadn’t shown a hint of impatience. So he would trust him with his heat as well. How could he not when the man was his mate, when he was the only one Oliver felt safe with? That had to mean something.

Now, all he had to do was figure out how to ask him. Actually, he had to tell Fallon first, and from what he understood, he also needed to talk to Sivney. Alphas needed Sivney’s permission to help omegas through their heat. A concept Oliver couldn’t wrap his head around, but that was a topic for another time. Okay, so he had to talk to Fallon, then to Sivney, and then to Adar.

That was a lot of talking, especially if he could barely bring out a word. His stomach sank. How would he pull this off? He’d have to rely on Fallon. The guilt weighed heavily on him. Everyone dumped their problems at Fallon’s feet, and Fallon had his own challenges to deal with, but Oliver saw no other way. Fallon was the only person he felt comfortable enough with to speak, and this wasn’t something he could communicate in any other way. It had to be done. Maybe this could be his first step toward healing. A man could dream.

He stayed behind after the dragon meeting, which took place every day in the cabin Fallon shared with two wolves, Duer and Yitro, to talk to Fallon. Yitro was there as well, but that didn’t bother Oliver. The wolf omega was the sweetest man he’d ever met, and he was so happy to see a friendship blossoming between Fallon and Yitro. Fallon deserved all the good things.

When Oliver told Fallon about wanting to ask Adar, Fallon did ask some critical questions, but Oliver didn’t take offense since it was clear he was only trying to look out for him. So he explained as best he could that he felt Adar was his mate, and in the end, Fallon accepted that. He offered to accompany Oliver when he spoke with Sivney, which took away much of Oliver’s trepidation.

Sivney intimidated Oliver. Not in the sense that he was scared of him, but he’d never met an omega who exuded such power and authority. He had a hard time understanding it, even if he respected the hell out of him for doing the job he did.

“Let me start by saying you can communicate in whatever way you want with me, Oliver,” Sivney said kindly. “You can speak, whisper, ask Fallon to relay something, write it down… Whatever works for you. There’s no pressure here.”

Oliver nodded, grateful for the understanding Sivney showed.

“In itself, I have no objection to you asking Adar, but can I ask why you chose him?”

Oliver looked at Fallon, who took a deep breath. “Oliver thinks Adar is his mate.”

Sivney slowly nodded. “That makes sense, considering his devotion to you. Still, that doesn’t mean you have to ask him.”

“He also said Adar makes him feel safe. He’s the only alpha Oliver trusts.”

Sivney’s sharp eyes grew soft. “I can understand that after what you’ve been through. I’m glad he makes you feel safe. I am. And let me assure you, he’s a good guy. An honorable one.”

“Honorable is the same word Oliver used to describe him,” Fallon said.

“Good. Then you can ask him and tell him he has my permission. No need for him to come talk to me as well.”

Another hurdle taken, but the biggest one remained. How would Adar react when Oliver approached him? Oliver debated waiting, but time was running out. Besides, waiting only made it worse, giving him even more time to be nervous about it.

“Do I tell him I think we’re mates?” Oliver whispered once they stood outside.

Fallon hesitated. “Is that a discussion you want to have now? Wouldn’t you rather focus on getting your heat out of the way first? It’s not like there’s a deadline to talk about your future. It seems to me that can wait, whereas your heat has much more urgency.”

He made a good point. Besides, the whole fated-mates thing seemed way too complicated to discuss without words. So heat it was.

“Would you like me to come with you?” Fallon offered.

It would be so easy to say yes and let him do the talking, but that didn’t seem right. Maybe because it would make it much harder for Adar to say no, and Oliver would never rob him of that right. It had been withheld from Oliver his entire life until now, and he would never do that to another person. He shook his head. “I got this.”

Fallon hugged him, then hurried off, probably to solve his next crisis. Oliver took a deep breath and walked over to Adar. The alpha startled, but he stood still, not moving a muscle. “Is everything okay? Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked when Oliver stayed silent.

Oliver’s throat tightened. Dammit. Why were the words not coming when he needed them the most?

Adar slowly moved his hands behind his back, pulled something out of his back pocket, and handed it to Oliver. A small notebook with a pen attached. Tears filled Oliver’s eyes at that thoughtfulness. They had never talked, yet Adar had had that notebook ready for the day Oliver would approach him.

Oliver so wanted to talk to him, to use actual words, but this would have to do. He’d never figured out what caused his inability to speak, but he did know that with the way he felt right now, no words would be coming out of his mouth. Writing it was.

My heat is coming.

He held it up for Adar to read. “It is? How much time do you have?”

Oliver held up two fingers.

“Two days?”

Oliver nodded.

“What will you do? What do you need?”

Oliver bit his lip as he stared into Adar’s warm brown eyes. Even now, the man didn’t assume anything. He still gave Oliver the choice.

Will you do it?

A soft gasp fell from Adar’s lips as he read it. “You want me to help you through your heat? Are you sure?”

Oliver flipped to a new page.

Yes. I trust you.

Adar blew out a breath. “Thank you. That means the world to me. If you are sure, then yes. It would be my honor.” He cleared his throat. “Oliver, I don’t know how to say this, but can you write down what you want? What you need from me? I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, anything you don’t want. But I know talking is hard for you. So maybe you could write it down? I swear I will respect your boundaries.”

Oliver’s tears spilled over. How had he gotten this lucky to find an alpha so kind and sweet, so gentle?

“Oh no. Please don’t cry. Did I say something wrong?”

Oliver shook his head and opened his mouth, but the words still wouldn’t come. His throat was too tight, his mind blocking whatever intention he had.

But he had to make sure Adar knew he hadn’t done anything wrong. So instead, he stepped closer, wrapped his arms around that massive body, and put his head against Adar’s chest.

Adar froze for a few moments but then ever so gently hugged Oliver back, holding him as if he were the most fragile piece of china on the planet. He pressed a soft kiss on Oliver’s hair. “I understand now, angel. They were good tears.”

Oliver nodded against his chest, not willing to let go yet. No one had touched him since he’d arrived here, except Fallon and Enar, and the latter only as a medical professional and after asking Oliver’s permission.

Yet he stood there in the arms of this big alpha, feeling safer than he ever had in his life. Yes, he’d made the right decision. No matter how horrible his heat would be, at least Adar would be there to take care of him.