Chapter 32

32

The further Simon moved from Lilis, the heavier he felt. He deliberately hadn’t said goodbye, as though not saying the words would somehow make this less final—an easy task or errand he could complete without problems before returning to her.

But he knew the truth. Superstition wasn’t enough to keep someone safe. Not telling his parents goodbye hadn’t ensured their safe return.

And though he hadn’t admitted it to Lilis, Simon sensed the same dread that had trickled down their bond from her, a feeling of finality. As though a part of him knew he would not walk out of the forest again.

Keep moving. This isn’t about surviving anymore. It’s about protecting Lilis and repaying the debt of lifetimes passed.

Simon pushed forward, seeking a tree he’d never seen before that apparently couldn’t be distinguished by humans. The entire plan rested on his ability to tap into his bond with Lilis just enough to know what the hell an “angry pine” was. That had been the only description Naleli could offer Simon for how to identify this stupid overgrown bush.

The trek through the remaining forest was desolate. Kas had started so many fires in an attempt to raze the shadow ash to the ground that nearly nothing remained. Heaps of scorched and disintegrated debris lay strewn about the forest floor. And the trees stood like silent sentinels for the ravages of a fire that kept burning long past the time they could offer any fuel.

What if I pass it?

“Here, tree,” he called as though summoning a golden retriever. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to hammer a dozen steel pipes charged to the teeth with sorcery into the nearby dirt, and they’re going to hurt you. Where are you, tree?”

Just as Simon was about to retrace his steps and try again, the smoke parted like a curtain, revealing a small cluster of pines. They were not immediately different from other pine trees throughout the Barrens. Like many of the others, they were bare for the first ten or twelve feet, above which were scattered branches heavily decorated with needles. They filtered more of the evening sunlight, casting eerie shadows over the ravaged ground.

One tree stood out, though. It grew to the left of the group, and something about it reverberated within him, like a stalking animal. Watching. Waiting.

Threatening.

Not for long .

Pulling the duffel off his back, Simon unloaded the pipes and sledgehammer. He traced the direction of one of the larger roots and measured approximately five feet away from the tree, pressing one pipe into the dirt.

Thwang!

Simon swung the sledgehammer, driving the pipe further into the soil. He banged away at it repeatedly until only two inches poked out of the soil. He repeated the process with two more pipes in the soil closest to his path back. Naleli had said she would know the moment the first pipe went in, but there had to be more to it than?—

The pipes began to glow. Subtly at first, but soon building to a definite light shining through the dirt, as though there were a rave under the ground.

Sweat pouring off him, Simon grabbed more pipes, hammering them into the ground at even points, following a circle around the offending tree. Again and again, he pounded them into place, each taking on a new and colorful glow as it settled.

As Simon sank the last pipe into the soil, the glow increased to become a blinding light that brightened the entire area.

He took a few steps back. Naleli and Kas had explained that they would need Simon to determine whether the area was safe for them to enter based on the health of the tree.

But how the hell am I going to know that? Especially if I can’t see the damn tree through all this light?

The glowing pipes filled the forest with an angry, oppressive heat. Simon shouldn’t have been able to tolerate it. His skin tingled, and the air thickened with the smell of burning foliage.

But he could breathe comfortably, and he didn’t feel as though his skin was burning. This new tolerance for hellish climates could be related to his bond with Lilis. He certainly hoped so. He hated the idea of not being able to endure her place of comfort and healing.

The pipes in the ground began humming, blackening the soil to a rich onyx color. Small, bright green shoots sprouted and grew. Was this what an earth person—what Naleli—was capable of?

The vibrations and hum grew more powerful, building into a singsong whine, over which he could hear a whispering, light tinkling sound, like a plastic rain falling.

Simon stepped past the pipes to better see the tree without the blinding light and flinched under the immediate sensation of insects tickling his skin. He brushed at them.

Not bugs.

Needles.

It was raining needles.

Simon smiled. Clearly something was affecting the stupid tree.

Without warning, the humming, the vibrations, and the glow cut off. Simon blinked several times, trying to adjust his eyes to the afterglow blindness of lower light. The soil steamed, hissing pockets of air escaping.

Is that it? I didn’t even tell them ? —

“I would have hoped for better from you.” Shepherd’s voice gripped Simon like a vise, freezing his veins in his body. How had he managed to get so close when demons as powerful as Lilis and Longwei couldn’t?

But that was the answer. Shepherd was only half demon. He must have relied heavily on his half-human side to get him to this point.

Simon turned slowly to meet the man who had made Lilis’ life hell.

Shepherd appeared uncomfortable, his shirt clinging to him with sweat. But not nearly as miserable as Simon had hoped. He held one of the pipes in one hand and something black in the other. Not a gun, which was a relief.

But damn, not knowing made his gut tighten.

“Have you chosen your side then?” Shepherd sneered.

Simon scoffed. “This isn’t Red Rover, asshole, and there aren’t teams.” He tried to glance around surreptitiously, searching for the sledgehammer he hoped would be a far more effective weapon against whatever Shepherd had.

This couldn’t be it. He wouldn’t die by Shepherd’s hand. He couldn’t. But his gut told him what his mind refused to acknowledge.

None of them had expected Shepherd to be able to get any closer to the tree than the other demons or endirim. And now Simon was stuck with him, far away from anyone who could help.

I just need to get the pipe back into the ground to kill this tree. Protecting Lilis is all that matters.

Shepherd smiled, a cruel twist of his features that transformed his face entirely. Was he trying to transform and failing? Or had he never smiled before and didn’t know how it was done? “You know nothing of the true nature of the world.” He stepped toward Simon. “You told me earlier that you were the best version of our species?—”

“ My species,” Simon corrected, trying to push Shepherd into a rage. Anything to make him lose his concentration enough to drop the pipe. “You’re not really human, remember?”

A tic started in Shepherd’s jaw, and Simon could hear the other man’s teeth grinding.

“I will use my father’s curse to rid the world of all demons before I purify myself. If you choose not to help me, you will prove you are no longer a fit member of humanity. I’ll give you one more chance,” Shepherd promised darkly, and the black object in his hand elongated. Simon could now see that it was a type of rope or tubing.

If you cannot respect your family, you are no longer interested in being part of the family.

Simon’s blood boiled, and his entire body heated with a rage so potent it vaporized the invisible shackles that had held him down his entire life. Shepherd’s words so eerily mirrored his grandmother’s constant pressure to fit in with a family that had never cared what he wanted or needed.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to push yourself to be something more, Shepherd? Only a narrow-minded shit like you would rather fit into a mold someone else created for you rather than make a mold of your own.” Simon took a step toward Shepherd. Another. The other man’s face turned a mottled shade of burgundy, and he breathed heavily through his nose, nostrils flaring. “There aren’t teams. There aren’t sides. There’s just life or death, love and loss, and who stays by your side through it all.”

Simon yanked the pipe out of Shepherd’s hand, shoving it back into the dirt with one forceful thrust. The light and energy exploded back, humming with life and momentarily blinding Simon.

A stinging strike to his back spun Simon around so quickly he toppled over. His back throbbed with a pain unlike any he’d ever experienced.

No. That wasn’t right.

Another memory awoke, like a puzzle piece falling into place, and Simon realized Shepherd had just whipped him with the black tubing. Simon had been whipped before, in a previous life. Which one, he didn’t know.

But it didn’t matter.

He ducked, rolling clumsily and painfully to the side as the wind whistled around him, signaling another crack headed his way.

Shepherd stalked toward him, swinging the hose in front of him. As Simon backed up, Shepherd leaned in to grab another pipe.

“I don’t know why your demonic friends want to get rid of this tree, but if they don’t want it, I’ll make sure that it stands forever!”

Simon tackled Shepherd to the ground as he dislodged the pipe partway. The glowing dimmed, the hum receding. Shepherd shoved Simon off and struck out with his tube again as Simon knocked the pipe back into place.

Spots burst across his vision, agony exploding across his back.

Simon! Lilis’ voice came through on a loudspeaker in his mind. What’s happening?

He glanced at the tree, still very much alive. Still very much capable of harming Lilis if she came too close.

Nothing I can’t handle , he thought back to her.

He tried to crawl away as the tubing cracked across him again, laying open the skin of his side. Simon hissed in pain.

Hauling himself unsteadily to his feet, Simon swung his fist at Shepherd, but the bastard was faster, dodging away from him and coming up behind him. Shepherd wrapped the tubing around Simon’s neck and tightened it, instantly cutting off Simon’s air.

Simon struggled against Shepherd’s greater strength, fighting against a hold that felt like steel. The edges of his vision dimmed.

I’m sorry, Lilis , Simon thought as the world faded away. I love you.

A pounding thumping sounded behind Simon, and the pressure holding him released. He landed hard on all fours, gasping for breath. He looked up to see Alkmini and Dimitri in human form, wrestling Shepherd for the black tubing.

Shepherd threw them both into the nearby tree. They crashed and landed on the ground, shaking their heads.

Shepherd rounded on Simon. “You put your faith in an inferior race of creatures.”

He raised his makeshift whip again, but Simon couldn’t move. His brain felt again as if it were being torn in two, sensations crowding his body, threatening to drown him in fear and anger.

Shepherd swung again, and Simon could only brace himself for the impact he could never avoid.

WHACK!

Though the sound came, the pain never did.

Simon cracked his eyes open. Longwei stood in front of him, also in human form, the black tubing wrapped around his forearm. Shepherd yanked him forward, and effortlessly tossed him to the ground. Longwei landed in a heap with the tubing in his hand as Shepherd towered over him. “Did you really think you could defeat me?”

Longwei laughed up at the half-demon. “Nope. But that was never the plan.” He threw the tube over Shepherd’s head.

Lilis appeared behind Shepherd and caught the hose midair, wrapping it around Shepherd’s throat before he even knew she was there. “You’re lucky my mate has made me soft.” Her darkly calm voice sent chills up Simon’s spine. “Otherwise, you and I would be spending an agonizing amount of time together.”

Shepherd was turning blue, but he thrashed against Lilis’ hold. “You bitch! I’ll?—”

Lilis twisted. Shepherd’s head pitched forward. Something wet crunched. And a total, deafening silence filled the clearing. Not even the pipes hummed.

She dropped Shepherd, and his body landed with an unceremonious thud in a crumpled heap. Her eyes met Simon’s, raw terror shimmering there.

She stumbled over to Simon and sank to her knees, eyes roving over Simon’s wounds and tears flowing freely down her cheeks as silent sobs wracked her frame.

Simon felt the same way. For the fourth time in less than two weeks, he’d nearly died. And for the fourth time in who knew how many lifetimes, he hadn’t . He searched helplessly for the words to take away her fear and pain, to apologize for the worry he’d put her through yet again with?—

“Fuck you, Simon.” Lilis hiccupped.

Okay, so maybe she needed a little time first.

“You can’t keep doing this,” she continued. “I nearly died of fright back there when you told me you could handle it . What the fuck does that even mean? I could feel your pain , you idiot. And for the love of all the gods , Simon, stop waiting until you’re dying to tell me you love me!”

“It’s gonna take an entire village to keep this one alive, Lilis,” Longwei panted. “What are you even going to do without me and the rat pack over there?”

“Are you trying to piss me off more?” Lilis rounded on Longwei and started to crawl toward him. “I’m going to lock him in my lair where?—”

“I’ll be fine.”

Longwei, Lilis, and the other two demons stared at Simon.

“We’ve known you less than a week, and even we know you have trouble staying alive,” Dimitri said.

“You should let her protect you,” Alkmini added helpfully.

“Don’t you fucking talk,” Lilis warned them. “Either of you. One of his near-death experiences came at your hands .”

Simon chuckled, the sound ending on a grimace at the pain in his back. Note to self. Movement equals bad. Very bad.

“No,” he said aloud, breathing shallowly to avoid further aggravating the welts left behind by Shepherd’s whip. “Since I’ve met Lilis, I’ve nearly died four times.” Simon met and held Lilis’ gaze. “Four times, in exactly the same way I died in previous lives. I don’t know anything about fate or reincarnation, but something’s telling me I needed to do that. To get through all of them before I could be free of my past.”

Longwei tilted his head to the side. “Which one of your previous selves got shot?”

“Fuck.” Lilis threw up her hands. “None of them. There goes your little theory. You’re not?—”

“Divit.” Simon squeezed his eyes shut, the agony of his present condition blending with the memory of his death in an excruciating combination. “It was earth energy. I remember you holding me, but it was still too much.” He swallowed and shuddered. “It felt like something was stabbing me in the heart. I can promise you. From experience, those two are the same.”

Before anyone could speak, the shadow ash shuddered and groaned. The blackened soil crept closer, like an infection spreading through a circulatory system, threatening to overwhelm it.

The inky blackness reached the trunk, changing to light gray as it crept up the bark, which shriveled and flaked off.

Longwei took a deep breath and stretched. “Oh yes , thank you. I can breathe again. And feel my dragon.” He held up a middle finger at the tree. “Take that, you miasmic fucker.”

“It’s not dead yet.” Lilis eyed the tree with deep suspicion.

“No,” Kas agreed. When had he arrived? Simon hadn’t even seen the flash of light that typically announced his arrival. “But it soon will be. Naleli and I will make sure of it.” He held out his hand to Simon.

Simon shook it without standing, wincing at the motion.

“I can take you back to Naleli to help you heal,” Kas offered. “If I let her know we’re coming, she can probably help the nausea you’ll feel from the flash before you throw anything up.”

“Don’t do it, man.” Dimitri waved his hands at Simon from behind Kas. “ Probably isn’t worth it.”

Droplets of sadness dribbled through Simon’s bond with Lilis. He shook his head. “No thanks. I’d rather my mate help me.”

My mate.

The words he hadn’t voiced earlier—words he hadn’t even known about two weeks ago—warmed him from within.

Or maybe that was Lilis’ joy radiating through their link. Either way, Simon felt more at peace, more content than he had felt in years. He knew his place in the world and treasured his connection to a person who’d chosen him not in spite of who he was…

But because of who he was.

Kas’ eyes darkened with an emotion Simon couldn’t read, but he nodded. “Thank you. Naleli and I owe you. Our friends owe you. You, your mate, and your friends. We owe you a debt we will find difficult to repay. Especially since we may need to call on more of your aid in the future.” He gestured to the entire group of demons. “All of your aid.”

Simon gave a small laugh, careful not to let his chest move too much. “I’m not the one you need to convince.”

Kas didn’t answer. Instead, he inclined his head and disappeared with a small flare of light.

“That’s my cue,” Longwei declared, ushering Dimitri and Alkmini to stand. “Come on, kids. Let’s go.” He waved at Lilis and Simon. “Don’t worry. I’ll see you two soon.”

Now alone with Lilis, Simon groaned as she helped him stand and slid his arm around her shoulders. “I really wish these last two near-death experiences had happened last week.”

Lilis lifted one eyebrow. “Why on earth would you want that?”

Simon sighed as they hobbled away from the tree and checked his phone. “My patho exam is in an hour. Going through your accelerated wound repair would’ve really helped me make up the study time I lost this week.”

“ What? Simon your test is when? ” Simon stumbled as Lilis stopped supporting some of his weight. “Shit, sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it wasn’t important. Not compared to saving you and your friends. It’s just a nursing class. I can?—”

Lilis cut him off with a finger over his mouth. “It’s not just a nursing class, Simon. It’s your dream, and that makes it important. Now come on. Let’s get you patched up so you can go kick that test’s ass.”