Chapter 14

14

Sunlight streamed through the window of the small bedroom-living room. Lilis laid on a firm mattress, and a soft sheet covered her lower half. It wasn’t as comfortable as sleeping outside, but it was much better than the old spring mattresses at the ranger station. Simon’s sandalwood and cinnamon scent engulfed her, and she snuggled deeper into his pillow, seeking more.

She rolled over to cuddle into his embrace.

Only to meet an empty bed.

Simon!

Her eyes flew open. He couldn’t have gotten farther than?—

His desk.

Simon sat at a tiny desk five feet away, in a worn wooden chair, one leg tucked under him, bent over a book that was larger than some demons she knew. His baby-blue cotton t-shirt stretched across his back, the sleeve bunching just above thick bicep muscle. The pastel of the shirt emphasized his tawny skin and shaggy, jet-black hair. He frowned in concentration, drawing her attention to those full lips that could drive her wild.

He wore blue-and-gray plaid pants, and one leg bounced as he read, making the wooden chair creak softly.

He wasn’t wearing those last night .

Her body heated at the memory of falling asleep in his arms, pressed against his hard, naked body. He hadn’t asked anything of her. Just held her for the fifteen seconds she’d been conscious before slipping into a deep slumber.

Her brow furrowed. She’d fallen asleep faster than she ever did with anyone else around. She’d felt comfortable—content—with him.

No. Emotions have nothing to do with this. He’s drop-dead sexy and this is purely physical.

Starting now.

She propped herself on one elbow, letting the sheet slide down to her hip.

“You’re really going to leave a naked woman alone in your bed?”

Simon swiveled in his chair and grinned, brown eyes sparkling. Lilis tried to ignore her racing heartbeat. He should not have that kind of power over her with just a smile.

“If that woman saved my life and needed the sleep, then yes.”

Her heart caught.

Nope. Don’t let him do that. Your heart weakens you.

She stood, letting the sheet fall to the floor, and crossed the small space between them, soaking in the heat, the hunger burning in Simon’s woodsy eyes. His hands twitched on his book, creasing the pages. Like he was picturing grabbing her.

“Lilis…”

She planted her hands on the armrests of his chair and bent until her face was level with his. “I’m not weak.”

Something changed in his eyes, emotions she couldn’t read filling his gaze. He set his book aside with deliberate slowness and rose to his full height. She had to take a step backward to avoid falling over, and Simon followed, backing her to the wall without touching her. He leaned forward and framed her head with his forearms. “No one said you were.” His voice rumbled across her like a caress. He was so close she could feel his heat emanating from the hard planes of his body. “Not when you needed food. Not when you needed sleep. You’re safe with me, Lilis. Drop your guard.”

He straightened away from her and waited.

His invitation beckoned to her, begging her to cross the small expanse between them and show him her fears, her weaknesses. She felt the pull to the core of her being.

It couldn’t be. Safe? He had to be joking. She should be reassuring him that she would keep him safe, protect him from the dangers of her world. She was a fucking dragon demon, and he was just a human.

But he didn’t back down. He continued watching her with fathomless brown eyes that saw past her barriers, that pushed her to drop, even for a little while, her habitual role of protector. That dared her to let him care for her .

Lilis swallowed, shaken to her core.

Her previous lovers had all helped her heal if she was injured. And they’d loved her. But there had also always been the unspoken agreement that she was the strong one. The unbreakable one.

Something inside her threatened to give way. She shuddered, then growled, pushing back, gathering her strength again. “I don’t need to let go of anything.” She glanced around the room. Her skin itched, reminding her she wore a layer of dirt like a second skin. “I just need a shower. And clean clothes.”

Simon’s slow smile lit up her insides and made her feel lighter despite her best efforts to resist. “Good. Much as I hate to admit it, I can’t pass my patho exam by studying gorgeous naked women. Or one gorgeous naked woman.” He retrieved a towel and some clothes for her. “Relax in there.”

She snatched them from him and marched into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her before blasting the shower water as hot as it would go.

Not until she was standing under the spray did she realize the reason for his smile.

She’d let him see her vulnerable. Only for a shower, but still. When he’d asked to take care of her, she’d immediately caved, without even realizing it.

Her dragon poked its head up, flapping its wings in her mind’s eye as if to say Maybe this is okay.

She shook her head and closed her eyes against the images. Simon falling. Simon pinned to a brick wall with a demon’s hand around his throat. Her dragon quieted, head bowed and one paw over its eyes.

“I can’t…” Lilis whispered to her dragon. The bathroom fogged with steam, but Lilis shivered, cold fear settling into her bones. “If we let this one into our heart and lose him, we’ll never recover.”

She bent her head into the spray, letting the scalding water hide the hot tears that flowed freely down her cheeks.

An eternity later, Lilis cut the water. She’d scrubbed herself pink, blasting off every speck of dirt scattered across her skin and carefully rebuilding the fortress around her heart. But even now it shifted, threatening to collapse at the slightest wave, like the walls of a sandcastle.

Without the white noise of the water, the sounds of muffled voices floated through the walls. And with them, Simon’s emotions.

His sentences came in short, interrupted chunks punctuated by sighs.

He sounded exasperated.

Her dragon nudged her, and she let it rise to the surface, shifting her ears just enough to enhance her hearing.

A woman with a thick accent spoke through the speaker of Simon’s phone. “… the pamphlets?”

“Yes, Grandma, I got them.”

Grandma? This must be the infamous Chinese grandmother who’d raised him from the age of ten.

Her mind skidded to a halt.

Ten?

She hadn’t paid any attention to that number the night she’d met Simon. He’d been a mere annoying human at that time. Before their breakfast. Before his reaction to her question about the dog park and his memories. Information clicked into place with alarming clarity.

“Well, Dudu? These schools would be willing to take some of your credits. When I spoke to the admissions officer?—”

Simon laughed, the sound tired and bitter.

“Don’t you dare laugh at me, chou xiao zi . Your grandfather and I taught you better respect than that.”

“ Dui bu qi , Grandma,” he said, without sounding the least bit sorry. “That’s just such a waste of time.”

“Enough, Kai Wei Qi! You have disrespected the memory of your parents long enough. Your grandfather and I are ready for you to go back to school. And we’re prepared to convince you.”

Lilis growled, hanging onto her temper by mere threads.

“Convince me how?”

“Did you know Tracy’s firm is considering making her a partner?” Chinese Grandma’s voice sounded smug, and Lilis’ growl turned feral.

“It’s all you can talk about.”

“And Jessica just won a major client for her architectural company. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you which university has asked her to redesign their library space.”

“And yet, something tells me you still will.”

The towel in Lilis’ hand began to smoke as Simon’s voice got softer and smaller with every sentence. With tremendous will, she reigned in her dragon.

Another masculine voice joined the conversation. Simon’s grandfather, she had to assume. “Duty is never a hard choice, Wei Qi. Children honor their parents with their actions. This is even more important now that they are gone.”

“I am honoring them. I honor their memory by caring for others. By working a full-time job to support myself going to school!” Lilis’ heart soared at the renewed vigor of Simon’s voice. “Which part of that is a disappointment? Because whichever it is, it’s only one to you! ”

A chilling silence followed before Simon’s grandmother responded. “If you cannot respect your family, honor your family, then you will show you are no longer interested in being a part of this family.”

“Is that really?—”

“Bear in mind, Kai Wei Qi, that your father’s chest will only pass to family .”

“You can’t do that! He made it for me!”

Lilis gasped at the raw pain in Simon’s voice. The bathroom walls snapped into sharp focus, and the towel in her hands shredded under her talons. She breathed deeply, dragging her dragon back from taking her over fully. Her vision dimmed back into the normal human range, and her claws withdrew.

“The chest stays in the family. If not you, then perhaps Jia. Think it over, Wei Qi.”

Silence. Had the call ended? Lilis touched the wall separating her from Simon, leaning against it.

A loud crack splintered against the other side of the wall, nearly shattering Lilis’ eardrums. She slid fully back into her human form, threw on the soft cotton shirt and pants Simon had loaned her, and opened the door, stepping immediately into a pile of dirt, leaves, and red berry-like flowers, the only remains of the potted plant Simon had apparently catapulted into the wall.

He hunched forward in his wooden chair, clutching something green and running his thumbs over the surface. A black cord dangled from his grasp. He let out a shuddering breath and wrinkled his nose.

“Stupid. Should’ve thrown the English ivy, not the ren shen . It’s less important.”

Lilis’ heart shredded. Kneeling carefully, she gathered the plant and some of its dirt. “The plant’s okay. It just needs a new pot.”

“I don’t have any more pots.”

“No problem. I’ll use a bowl.” Leave the fucking plant alone. This isn’t about the plant. But animal instinct told her that wasn’t true. The fresh, slightly bitter smell of the leaves and roots and the bright red color of the flowers painted a picture of a plant that was truly cared for.

She opened a cabinet at random and found plates, bowls, glasses, and a mug. There were very few of each, but they were organized and tidy. “Do you care which bowl I use?”

“I don’t cook much, so it doesn’t really matter.” Simon’s voice was weary, heavy with the weight of others’ expectations and loss. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know. I want to.”

“Why?”

Because this is a piece of your treasure. Even if you won’t tell me that.

How could she begin to explain without freaking him out? Some animals groomed one another. Dragons showed affection by bringing each other treasure and helping them guard it.

Lilis selected a small white bowl and carefully placed the plant in it, adding a little water. She cast about for a way to explain and settled on the words that made the most sense. “Because it’s not the English ivy.”

Simon’s shoulders slumped. “No, it’s not.” He sighed. “It’s ren shen , a handy herb for Traditional Chinese Medicine. I’ll likely never use it for anything, and it’s a pain in the ass to keep.”

Lilis set the bowl on the counter and fussed with the leaves. “Yet you do keep it.”

“My grandmother made me learn Traditional Chinese Medicine when I was in high school and first thinking about going into medicine. Some of the stuff is useful. A lot of it is moronic superstition. But I still dabble in it.”

Tentatively, Lilis picked her way across the room, over the pot shards, to perch against his desk.

Not close enough to crowd him, but close enough that if he needed her?—

He stood and pulled her into his arms. A shudder went through his body, and she absorbed it, wishing it would carry his pain into her.

“Thank you. I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”

Lilis squeezed him tightly. “You’ve met the monsters of my world. Don’t apologize when I discover the monsters in yours.”

Simon pulled back and leaned against his desk. His eyes smoldered like burnt wood as they searched her face. “My grandparents aren’t bad people. They took me and my sisters in, after all. But talking to them can be like three days of nonstop emergency room triage.”

“Someone winds up covered in blood?” she offered helpfully.

A small puff of air escaped him. And a hint of a smile graced his gorgeous mouth. “If they wind up that way, I’m not doing my job right.”

Something bumped against her leg, and Lilis reached down, her fingers tangling with the black cord still dangling from his grip. She lifted it to find a rectangle of jade the color of the needles of the Pine Barrens. Chinese characters covered both sides, surrounded by circles and intricate swirls.

“My father carved it.” Simon’s voice was soft, reverent.

“It’s beautiful.”

This time, his smile was real, stretching wide and wonderful. “He was a woodworker. I can still remember him making this for my mom. Took him weeks with the new tools he’d bought special for it.”

“Pretty impressive.”

Simon chuckled. “I’m more impressed I didn’t accidentally spill the beans about it to my mom. I was only five.”

Lilis draped the pendant around Simon’s neck and drew him forward for another hug. The stone settled between their bodies, warm and smooth.

“And so, the chest…” Lilis let the question hang in the air. Her hands rubbed the muscles of his back, stroking back and forth as she held him.

“My dad made one for each of us. Tracy and Jessica were in college when I moved in with my grandparents, so they had theirs with them. Not that my grandmother would keep family heirlooms from them .”

A knot of emotion welled in Lilis’ throat. So even with siblings, Simon spent his childhood all alone with his grandparents.

“If your grandmother gives the chest to Jia, maybe you could convince Jia to give it to you?”

“She lives in Fujian, China.”

The air rushed out of Lilis. His grandmother had just threatened to send one of Simon’s most prized possessions halfway around the world. As blackmail.

“I’ll figure it out. I can probably convince them to wait while I make a decision.”

“You’re not seriously thinking of giving in to their demands, are you?”

Simon’s gaze became distant. “I’m not giving in. But… there are times when I think they might be right. I mean, how many people could I really help as a nurse instead of a doctor? Maybe I’m being selfish. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m taking next semester off anyway.”

“You’re not taking classes?”

He offered her a sheepish grin. “Can’t afford them. Listen,” he continued before Lilis could argue, “I want you to know why I took you to Medford Barks. And why I snapped.”

Lilis smiled. “You don’t have to.”

“I know. But I need you to understand. The day my parents…” He shivered and started again. “That day, they were on their way to pick me up to go to the park. We used to go all the time, but we hadn’t in a while, and I’d been begging them for days. The road was wet. And another driver swerved into their lane.”

He fell silent, and Lilis struggled to breathe at the pain of his loss.

“When I almost… after the helicopter, I felt like going there was something I had to do. To keep a promise they couldn’t keep. Because I was okay.”

I’ll see you soon.

Lilis’ chest tightened painfully, remembering Simon’s whispered words the night she’d saved him. He’d been speaking to his parents when he thought he was about to die.

Correction. When he thought you were about to kill him.

How could he have lived through so much loss and still face the world with such a handsome smile?

Some of the freshly reinforced walls surrounding Lilis’ heart broke away, leaving her exposed, struggling to find the ground under her feet. This is what you wanted. For Simon to give you his grief so he doesn’t have to carry it anymore. Don’t break under it.

“Thank you for sharing such a special place with me,” she whispered. “For dropping your guard.”

He shrugged. “Other than snapping at you in the park, it’s never been up around you.” He tilted his head to the side, studying her face, brow furrowed. “Never…”

Lilis attempted a smile, puzzled by the confusion on his face as he searched hers again. “Is that a bad thing?”

“No.” He took a deep breath, as though emerging from a dream. “It’s not.” He bent his head and touched his lips to hers in a feather-light kiss.

Lilis tightened her grip on his broad shoulders and whimpered, telling him without words that she needed more. Simon responded immediately, deepening his kiss and shifting her body, fitting her tightly against him. She sizzled everywhere he pressed against her, and Lilis was lost.

This man could kiss . His tongue danced around her mouth, tangling with hers and teasing her into a frenzy. He spent long moments exploring every inch of her before changing his pace to small, demanding nips. He backed her against the wall again, thick erection pressing through his pants to nestle against her core.

She wrapped both legs around him, and he slid sideways, lowering them both smoothly to the mattress. His forearms on either side of her head blocked out the world beyond their bodies and heated breaths. His body weight anchored her, and she clung to him to avoid being swept away.

One of his hands left the tangle of her hair to slide down her body, igniting a fire of want along her skin everywhere he touched. He kissed a path up her jaw to her temple. “Lilis,” he breathed. “ Mon ange. ”

Lilis froze.

What did he just say?

Simon seemed to feel the change in her and tensed. He lifted his head, deep brown eyes searching hers. “Did I hurt you?”

Tears stabbed at the back of her eyes, and she gasped for breath. Her equilibrium spiraled out of her control as memories she’d locked tightly away for hundreds of years burst before her mind’s eye.

Henri.

You aren’t a demon, dragon or no, sweet Lilis. You’re mon ange. My angel.

But where was his angel when the demons hunting her had ripped him apart?

She forced a smile, but it cracked as the memory of Henri’s bloody body superimposed itself over Simon’s concerned gaze. Someone said her name. Henri? Simon? She shook her head.

Arms like thick oak branches, powerful and steady, enveloped her, drawing her against a hard frame. “I’m here, Lilis. Let go.”

Simon .

She buried her head in his shoulder as she battled herself, fighting against his offer to shatter into thousands of pieces.

No. He’d just given her his pain. She couldn’t return the favor with her own mistakes and guilt for all the lovers she’d failed to protect. And she needed those memories.

Because without her pain and anger, without her ghosts, she’d have nothing left.

So instead, she let him hold her as she hauled herself away from the precipice.

Her head flopped back to the soft pillow, and she managed a genuine smile.

He returned her smile, though sadness shadowed his fathomless brown eyes. “When you’re ready.” He kissed her cheek. “Until then, I’m sorry for whatever I said that caused you so much pain. I had a weird dream this morning, and I guess parts of it stuck with me.”

“It just surprised me, that’s all. I didn’t know you spoke French.”

His eyes clouded. “Don’t lie. I won’t pressure you, but don’t tell me I startled you.”

Lilis opened her mouth to argue with him and insist she was fine. Instead, she nodded. “Okay.”

Simon blew out a breath. “I don’t speak French. I was babbling something I remembered from the dream. Pretty cool to know it sounds real, though.”

It is real.

Simon rolled off her and gathered her back into his strong arms. “I really thought I was making up words. But I might have heard it somewhere, I don’t know.”

Lilis hid in his embrace, desperately seeking the inner strength she needed to continue to fight. To be the indestructible dragon Simon needed her to be.

“Simon?”

“Mm?”

“Why do you want to be a nurse?”

He pulled back enough to lean on one elbow, tightening his grip when she tried to roll away. “You don’t have to leave to hear it.” He smiled and kissed her forehead. “When my parents died, a nurse at the hospital looked after me while my grandparents dealt with… everything. She made all the difference in the world to me that day. I want to do that for more people. For patients who come into the hospital. Patients like you. And like your colleague—I’m an idiot.”

“Well, sometimes, yeah. But not because of why you want to be a nurse. That’s irritatingly adorable.”

Simon laughed. “No. I’m an idiot because I forgot. You asked how the fire went out, and I think your friend, Ben, might know.”

Lilis lifted one eyebrow. “How could he possibly know?”

“I have no idea, but he’s certain about one thing.”

“And that is?”

“There are monsters in the forest.”