Chapter 12

12

Lilis curled around her heaps of treasure in her dragon form, jealously guarding them from the outside world. No one touched her precious gems.

A scratching noise just outside the entrance to her lair caught her attention, and she had to resist igniting it with a blaze from the depths of hell. She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to. But a flaming door might give away the location of her secrets.

Grumbling, she forced herself to shift into her human form once again and sat up.

Her pink scrubs lay discarded in one corner, and she cursed herself for not leaving more clothes there. She’d have to go back to the ranger station and face her colleagues as Bubblegum Barbie. And hopefully not get fired if Nurse Simon handily “forgot” her doctor’s note.

You hurt him . Her conscience shoved its way past her anger. It’s your fault he doesn’t want to help you anymore.

She bowed her head and sank her hands into her treasure, seeking a piece that could soothe her. Her favorite sapphire appeared among the piles, and she cradled it with one hand, running her fingers over its surface, not fully seeing it.

Instead of mirrored facets, it reflected memories she only sought in her weakest moments. Clutching it tightly, she brought it to her nose and inhaled.

Henri’s scent had dissipated over the centuries, but the notes of apples, leather, and the ocean still clung to it. And right now, she craved that combination. After what happened, she should have been seeking out Caelius, but she needed Henri right now.

“ L’amour de ma vie ,” she whispered through a tightened throat. “Love of my life. I didn’t realize how true it was.” She buried her face deeper. And suddenly, she was there…

Strolling hand in hand through the orchards, acres and acres of nothing but fruit and the wind in the trees. Rumors of angry religious humans ready to chase her down for her resemblance to their demons and the weight of the world lay far in the distance. She’d wrapped her arms around him then, remembering what it was to hold a loved one so long after Caelius’ death, and promised she’d keep him safe.

“I didn’t mean to hurt Simon.” Her words fell like ash snowing after an eruption—soft and silent, but potent. “I just wanted to connect to him.”

Make all the excuses you want. You would’ve hurt him one way or another.

She hugged her sapphire tighter to her heart, breathing deeply through her nose. A numb calm swept over her, spreading outward from her chest to her fingers and toes, washing away her emotions. She finally relaxed with a shuddering breath.

Carefully setting aside her blue jewel, Lilis stood and pulled the hated borrowed clothing onto her body.

Everything I need is right here. I don’t need people, and I definitely don’t need a sexy human healer with a sense of humor and the lifespan of a housefly.

She certainly didn’t need the gorgeous Simon who heated her body hotter than her own flames and took care of her as if that was the only thing he ever wanted to do.

She shook her head. Of course she’d get her heart stomped on the moment she’d tried to open it to someone.

At least he’s alive to be the one doing the stomping.

She repeated the reassurance two more times and headed out into the sunlight.

Several heads turned when she walked in the door to the ranger station, and a chorus of snickers greeted her. Someone whistled. Across the room, Shepherd sat on a bench, lacing up one boot. A large wrap covered one of his forearms, his other hand was bandaged, and the left side of his face looked burned. Lilis’ ears flamed.

What were you saying about protecting humans?

“Cute scrubs, Gerru,” Carter growled. “Did that nurse fit as nicely?”

“Better, actually.” Lilis clicked her tongue and winked at Carter. So much for the teammate who gave her a heads-up about Vega the other night.

Carter and the firefighter from the bathroom fell in line behind her as she crossed the room to Shepherd. She still couldn’t remember his name, but she recognized him from the hourglass tattoo.

Shepherd glanced up, eyeing her up and down. “You’re in good shape.”

“Better than my clothes. I got lucky.” She nodded at his arm and hand. “What happened?”

He laced up his other boot. “Got caught in a blowup. Fire crossed the path we’d taken out. Seems I should’ve gone with you.”

Lilis worked to not let the surprise show on her face. She’d been so careful with her burst to separate them. There was absolutely no way she’d caused it. And the path they’d taken to get there had been well away from the line. Which meant whoever was starting the fires had set something else.

And they’d gotten Shepherd.

She balled her fists to keep her claws from emerging. She’d save those for when she found the fucker responsible.

“You’d look way better in pink anyway.” She aimed for joking, then thought better of it. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“I knew what I signed up for when I joined the Flame Jumpers.” He rose and took a step forward. His expression could have frozen her flames before they’d even left her body. “At least, I thought I did.”

All conversation in the room ceased. Lilis gritted her teeth. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Carter said, moving to stand beside Shepherd. “That we’re brothers. We look out for one another. We don’t ditch our brothers at the first match flame in our way.”

She gasped with mock surprise and raised the pitch of her voice to make herself sound younger. “Oh my gosh, no way! Thank you so much for clarifying that.” She batted her eyelashes at Shepherd. “Next time, I’ll make sure the forest fire we’re all battling puts you on the uncharted side.”

She tried to step away from them, but Hourglass blocked her path. “Where are you going this time?”

“ This time ? Other than leaving Shepherd with three other people to drag Hoyt’s unconscious ass out of the fire, there haven’t been ‘times.’” She held up her fingers in air quotes.

Shepherd crossed his arms over his chest. “So you claim.”

Lilis’ world burned red with fury, and every last scale on her dragon raised. Calm down. He clearly got hurt. He’s allowed to vent. “Whatever. The fire’s out, right? I’m getting my shit and going home.”

“They’re sending in a NIFC team to investigate. We’re on standby.” Shepherd snorted. “Which you’d know if you weren’t always ditching me to play with your nurse’s hose.”

She took a step back to resist shifting then and there. Her dragon pounded at her restraints, demanding release. No one insulted Simon.

I got this , she reassured it.

She pouted. “It’s okay, Shepherd, you can just say you’re jealous. We’re all adults here.” She gave Hourglass a once-over. “Well, most of us are, anyway.”

He snarled and launched at her. A split second before his face would have met her fist, Vega caught him and hauled him back.

“That’s enough .” Vega didn’t shout, but he didn’t have to. The temperature of the room dropped twenty degrees. Shepherd and Carter got the hint, backing down immediately. “Take a walk, Johnson.”

How could I have forgotten a name like that ?

Johnson shrugged Vega off. “Her first.”

Vega rounded on him so fast, Lilis was prepared to bet money he had demon blood somewhere in his lineage. “You attacked a member of my team .” His voice dropped to a deadly whisper with the last two words. “That gave you twenty minutes to prove you could get your shit under control enough to stay.”

“You can’t be ser?—”

“And then you questioned me,” Vega continued. “You’re now at ten. You’d better be dead calm, or you’re gone.”

Johnson finally stormed out the front door, slamming it so hard a framed photo of a little boy playing with what looked like a voodoo doll fell off the wall. No one moved to fix it. Overly forced conversation returned to the rest of the room in chunks.

“You two.” Vega indicated Carter and Shepherd. “You’re now on Mary duty. I want to be able to eat my dinner off her engine by the end of the day.”

Their faces registered twin shock. “That’s a month’s worth of work!”

Mary’s full name was Muddy Mary, and she was their most reliable offroad firetruck.

She was also the oldest, dirtiest, and smelliest. The layer of rust on her was so thick it almost certainly was the only thing holding Mary together. And chances were high at any given moment that she was housing a dead animal. Or two. Vega had given them a deliberately impossible task.

Shepherd and Carter directed murderous stares at Lilis, who smiled sweetly at them.

“Gerru,” Vega barked. “Your doctor forwarded me your note.”

What?

“Of course, the doctor examining her got her a note.” Shepherd’s voice oozed sarcasm. “Did he also give you a prescription for dick? Choke down one a da?—”

“I don’t give a fuck who she sleeps with, man, woman, or other,” Vega growled without turning around. “But it’s from Nurse Practitioner Anya Patel . Now, if you two don’t have anything useful to add, I suggest you get started on Mary. She’s not getting any cleaner with you two culeros standing around.”

Lilis struggled to breathe properly as Carter and Shepherd filed out of the common room. Simon had still made sure the note got to her boss. He’d still taken care of her. After what she’d done.

“Are you okay?”

Shit. She’d let her guilt over Simon’s thoughtfulness and her pain at losing him show. And Vega had interpreted it as fear over Johnson’s almost attack. She quickly plastered a serene smile on her face.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

For the first time since she’d met him, Vega seemed uncomfortable. “I don’t condone violence between teammates. The fact that you’re a woman makes it worse.”

Lilis bristled. “I can take care of myself.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “You won’t have to.” He nodded at the area they’d converted into a locker room. “Go change. We’ve been through enough today, and one of our sister squads, the Furies, is on call tomorrow. We’re going for a little hike, then drinks are on me.” He raised his voice enough to announce the last statement to everyone in the room.

A round of cheers went up behind Lilis, but she barely registered them as she headed into the back room to change. No matter what she did, no matter who she saved, today had proved she was doomed to piss off everyone around her.

She sank onto a bench upholstered with tropical flower print and pulled her backpack onto her lap.

The fire’s out. Your culprit is probably long gone. Leave them.

Leave. Leave Vega, who protected the newbie from veteran members of his team. Leave Shepherd, who deserved his anger and a better partner than she’d been.

Leave Simon.

Her heart twisted. Leave his smiles and kisses that left her feeling like she was the only one he ever wanted to touch. Leave his concern for her, however misplaced.

I can’t . Even if he’d already shown he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore, she couldn’t bring herself to move any farther from him. Not yet.

Something wet fell on her wrist, and Lilis realized she was crying.

You have to leave. Eventually, you’ll be the death of him.

She took a shuddering breath, fighting to shove her emotions back into the furthest reaches of her soul, where not even her heart could reach them.

She would leave.

Tomorrow.

“A little hike?” Alejandro Ramos sat on the bar stool next to Lilis in The Reservoir, an outdoor bar and grill that sat on the sliver of land that was neither town nor the Barrens, nursing a beer. “A little hike? How is a fifteen-mile hike with full gear little ?”

“Chin up, Ramos.” Lilis took a swig of her own beer, wishing like hell she could actually get drunk. “It could be worse. You could’ve spent the time cleaning Mary with Shepherd, Carter, and Johnson.”

Every one of the other sixteen members of the Flame Jumpers had the haunted expression of men who’d had their asses handed to them by their leader’s grueling pace. But they seemed fresh as spring daisies compared to the three firefighters on whom the smell of ammonia hung like a visible stink cloud. Carter, Johnson, and Shepherd had spent eight hours cleaning eighteen months of animal droppings and unmentionables out of various compartments. She doubted Muddy Mary was even a tenth clean enough for Vega’s dinner, but he had given them a break long enough to join the rest of the team.

Ramos visibly shuddered. “Better to fight that fire in your pink scrubs than scrub Mary.” He took a long drink of beer, and his expression turned sheepish. “Thanks again for your canteen.”

“I told you, that was my extra one.” Lilis sipped her beer, hoping she wasn’t squirming in her seat. She didn’t need more suspicion aimed at her than she already had. She hadn’t interacted with Carter and the Clean-up Crew all day. It had been just the break she’d needed. But she felt three sets of eyes burning into her now.

“Mm.” Ramos eyed her. “I never did see you drink from your first one.”

“Don’t blame me just because you’re not observant.”

“Can I buy you a shot, Gerru?” Carter asked from behind her.

Shit.

Lilis held up her beer bottle. “I’m good, thanks.”

“We feel badly about our behavior earlier. We’d like to make it up to you.” Johnson’s voice joined Carter’s, and she swiveled on her stool to find all three men behind her. “One from each of us.”

Well. This could be a fun distraction. If she couldn’t make friends, she could at least speed along their alcohol poisoning. “Sure, why not?” She patted the bar to get the bartender’s attention. “In fact, how about I get the first one? Johnson, you pick.”

He grinned like a cat with its prey. “Absinthe.”

She pulled some bills out of her pocket and nodded to the bartender. “Four green furies, please.” She rose to their height and glanced at each of the men one by one. “Just remember when your heads split open in the morning that you asked for this.”

“Relax, Gerru, we’re just hanging out.” Johnson snickered.

“Right.” She sized them up and down, assessing their weight and alcohol capacity. “You should probably stay standing.”

Shepherd snorted and handed her a glass. “Ladies first.”

A hand covered her drink, and Ramos met her gaze unblinkingly. “Don’t let them get to you.”

Why did he care?

“They’re pissy about Mary.” He looked over her shoulder and directed his next words at them. “And they’re directing their anger at the wrong person .”

Lilis gently removed his hand and offered him an encouraging smile. “They’re not getting to me.” She tipped her shot back, letting the foul liquid glide down her throat and into her stomach. “Promise.”

She held up the empty glass in a salute to Johnson. “Nasty first pick. I hope Carter has better taste than you.”

Johnson glared daggers at her, never breaking eye contact as he downed his shot. Behind her, several of the other Flame Jumpers guffawed, while Carter clapped her on the back with a laugh. “Damned right. My dog has better taste, and he eats his own shit.” He flagged down the bartender. “Your best vodka.”

Stools creaked across the floor with their growing audience. Lilis almost felt sorry for the three men currently trying to put her in her place. Even completely in her human form, her body would metabolize the alcohol as a flammable substance too good to pass up and store it for when her dragon took over. It would move through her system too quickly for it to even make her feel a little tipsy.

After tonight, they’d hopefully leave her alone for good and no one else would bother her again. Ramos included.

So why did that thought leave her feeling hollowed out from the inside? She’d never needed friends. None of the Flame Jumpers were an exception.

You’ll be gone tomorrow. Don’t forget that.

Screw ‘em. The vodka arrived, and Lilis swallowed it before the others had even lifted theirs from the bar. To an eternity of loneliness, she mentally toasted.

Two hours and seven shots later, Lilis distributed ice water to two sullen Flame Jumpers and ignored one surly pain in the ass. Carter and Johnson had made the wise choice to quit after the cement mixers Ramos had bought everyone.

“ Why , Ramos?” Carter moaned.

Ramos clapped him on the back. “I told you when I bought your last round.”

“You said ‘síguele’. Doesn’t that mean ‘follow it’? Like keep going?”

“It means ‘keep up your stupidity to reach your consequences faster.’”

Lilis gave an incredulous laugh. That was a phrase worth remembering.

“‘S’matter, Gerru?” Shepherd had just begun slurring, though he refused to admit it. “Had ‘nuff?”

“Let’s go with that.” She held up another glass of ice water, sweating in the warm night air. “How about a different challenge?” Behind her, Johnson hiccupped. “That’s what this was, right? Not a chance to make it up to me but an opportunity to see if you could waste me?”

“Give it up, Shepherd,” another one called. “She’s a machine.”

He took a step forward, murderous rage glinting in his eyes. “I’m not done ye?—”

“Yes, you are.” Vega took the water glass out of Lilis’ hand and shoved it at Shepherd. “The Furies might be on call tomorrow, but this fire has been a chingadero from the start. And if you’re too busy tomorrow advertising your poor life choices all over the walls of the bathroom, I’m down a man. Start sobering up.” He arched one eyebrow at Lilis. “Whatever’s going on with you, cut it out. I need to be able to count on you, too.”

Before she could respond, a scent drifted across their group on the breeze. Like a mix of wet rat, dogs, and death, it disappeared before she could be certain.

She offered Vega a small smile. “Be right back.”

Stepping off the patio and beyond the reach of the lights, she took a deep lungful of air.

Nothing. Had it really been a manjeja demon? Or had she just imagined the wet-dog-and-weasel stench of one of the few creatures capable of killing dragons?

She followed the line of trees around to the river that forked its way through various chunks of the Pine Barrens. This far from the center of the forest, a few other establishments offered spaces for people to snack, drink, and pretend they were somewhere with far more open space. An ice cream truck named The Little Dipper stood on a lot at the edge of the trees with several dimly lit paths leading down to the river.

Lilis froze, rooted to her spot as she spied Simon in a plain white t-shirt and jeans, his hair slightly damp. He faced away from her, the V of his torso emphasized by the pull of his shirt across his broad shoulders and tight jeans around his hips. He walked away from the truck’s window carrying a cone filled with bright pink ice cream.

She glanced around, certain he knew she was there and had chosen the color to fuck with her.

And then Simon took an enormous lick, and Lilis nearly face-planted. Gods, he was good with his tongue.

Please let him be fucking with me.

But he didn’t turn around. Didn’t acknowledge her in any way, and Lilis’s heart sank into her feet. He truly didn’t know she was there.

She shook her head. She needed to leave before he noticed her watching him like a stalker.

But as she tried to get herself moving, a man with skin and hair so white they practically glowed separated himself from the crowd and headed in the same direction as Simon. A woman with equally white skin and hair joined the man.

Lilis’ dragon growled.

Calm down. We don’t know for sure they’re manjejas.

But the more time passed, the more she agreed with her dragon. And then, from the direction Simon had disappeared, a bright flash of light erupted, followed by a vibrating sound and a high-pitched shriek.

Lilis took off at a run.