20. Sek’su

20

SEK'SU

" W hat do I know of humans?" Burshtin grumbles.

"Bah, you are no help," I say, shaking my head then turning and walking away from him.

"You will get us into trouble again," he calls after me.

"As I recall, it was only I that was in trouble last time. You should know that I won't pull you down with me."

"Fool," he grouses and I spin back to face him.

"Maybe I am a fool," I say, storming back. I raise my hands and open my wings, waving them all in the air. "Call a me fool. Call me an idiot. But I know one thing. She is meant to be mine. These humans… they have too many rules. Rules I do not understand but that doesn't matter," I poke two fingers into his chest, pushing him back. "You know why it doesn't matter?"

"No," he growls, stepping back as I poke him again.

"Because I know it," I slam my fist onto my chest, against my hearts. "I know we are meant to be together."

"Does she?"

I pause, frowning, then I growl.

"If she didn't, why would she keep coming to me?"

"Humans are different," he says. "They are not Zmaj. Not even surface ones."

"She is different," I shout. "Special. Her heart… I know her heart."

"And how do you know this if all you do is meet and mate?"

I growl, hating the fact that he is right. Wren and I haven't shared that many words. I do not know much of her world and nothing of her dreams or wants. But I do know that no matter what they are, I will give them to her. I know she is mine. My heart and my soul belong to her, no matter how she might intend to use them.

"I just know," I say, but the aggression dissipates.

He snorts, shaking his head. I growl at his dismissive attitude but what right do I have to be angry with him? Doubts surge in my thoughts. Are the humans really so different from Zmaj? I have been told that they mate freely and some quite often with many partners. That their hearts are not always involved when they do, which seems strange, but they are aliens. What do I know of them?

Burshtin puts an arm over my shoulders and pulls me closer.

"Do not feel bad," he says. "She is very beautiful, but they are aliens. They are not us. All I say is you must be careful."

"Yes," I say, both an agreement and a regret.

Can I be mistaken? Is this not the pull of my treasure I feel? If it is not her, why do I only feel whole when I am with her? What is this aching emptiness in my chest when she is not here? Can I possibly be this big of a fool?

He jerks me around until our foreheads meet. He stares into my eyes, his breath heavy on my face.

"I do not know," he says. "It could be real. I hope, for you, it is. But I worry."

I smile and clasp one hand behind his neck. We stand in easy silence. Brothers in arms if not in blood. He and I have been together for a long time. Fought many battles, done many duties, and always we have protected one another.

"Thank you," I whisper. "This has to be real. It couldn't hurt so much if it wasn't."

"Hurt is a warning," he says.

"Or a longing."

"Or a longing," he agrees.

"Tajss provides," I say, feeling the words resonating in the cavity of my chest.

"The mountain knows," he returns.

"I must go to her."

"Talk to her," he says. "Keep your cock put away. For a little while at least."

I snort then turn and walk away. He is right. She and I must talk. I must understand. Why must our love be a secret? Why can we not be seen together? Is she ashamed of me? Am I not good enough for her?

My thoughts are in a spin and anger is rising while I wait. I'm in our spot. The storage room is in no way ours really, but it is far enough out of the way that we can use it without interruption and it is the place we first mated so I think of it as ours.

Time flows past but there's no sign of her. Anger turns to worry and worry to fear. What if she doesn't come? It is not as if I will not see her. The compound is not so large as to allow us to never run into each other, but what if this was it? She is not coming. She never loved me. She used me.

No. Tajss would not allow this. I know she is mine. I am certain of it.

The surface Zmaj talk of this. They have mated with the humans more than we of the Cavern have. It must be real. We are not that different from them. The spin in my head stops when I hear soft footsteps approaching.

My hearts speed up with anticipation. A tingling sensation races over my scales and I want nothing more than to hold her. Kiss her. Mate with her.

No. Talk. We must talk. I must understand.

I forge my resolve into hard armor and then she slips through the leather of the door. The torches in the hall illuminate, casting a halo around her and I am rushing across the room before I think.

"Oh," she exclaims, giggling as I sweep her off her feet and spin her around.

Her lips are on mine and my cock is hard and throbbing. She runs her hands through my hairand over my horns. When she does my cock spasms, leaking without even being touched. I groan into her mouth and she's moaning too as she grinds her hips against me.

I carry her towards the wall and before I know it we are mating. I thrust in and out of her fast. The climax builds quickly and I know by the way she is panting and grunting that she is close too. Also, I feel her heart thundering in her chest, thumping in time with my own hearts.

When I release she throws her head back and cries out while I groan her name. At last, we are spent and exhausted. I lift her off my cock and lower her to the ground. I assist her to clean herself and then tend to my own needs. My second cock rises, ready and wanting to continue but I resist that desire. She's breathing heavily, brushing her hair away from her face and smiling.

"I'm happy to see you too," she laughs.

I smile but now that the rush is over, all my concerns return. This has to be real. How could either of us react like that if this wasn't true?

"Wrenlee," I say and the smile fades from her face.

She moves close again, raising her hand and touching my face. She frowns, then sighs and shakes her head.

"I know."

"You know?"

She inhales deeply, holds it, and then exhales heavily.

"We need to talk."

I smile but my cheek muscles feel too tight, as if the attempt to show mirth might cause my face to crack with the effort. My chest hurts and there is a pressure building in my head.

"Yes. Words."

"Can we…" she trails off, letting her hands wander down my chest and I want nothing more than to push this aside once more and mate with her again. As her hands wander lower my resolve to not mate drops with them but then she steps back and shakes her head. "No. You're right. We must talk."

"I do not understand," I say, trying to not sound disappointed, though I am. "Why must we be secret? Why can we not be… honest?"

"It's hard to explain," she says. "Humans are… fickle creatures. And a long time ago I was… well, I was a fool. I made a comment. A stupid, silly one-off comment that then took off and became very serious."

I hear what she is saying and though I understand the words she uses, they do not make sense. It feels like my head is spinning. I am very confused as to what she means. How can her words ‘take off'? Words do not go anywhere. They are spoken and done. I frown, trying to figure it out, but she has stopped talking and is staring into my eyes with a thoughtful look.

"This doesn't make any sense to you, does it?" she asks at last.

I shrug, not wanting to admit it, but her smile makes it feel okay to admit my lack of understanding.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I know… one thing." I press my hand flat to my chest. "I am yours." Her eyes widen and almost immediately they glisten with the water shedding that I found out humans call tears. "We belong together."

She blinks rapidly and her breathing is faster too. In any other circumstance, I would be greatly distracted by the heaving of her chest and those exotic, exposed breasts, but this moment is much too important for such primal instincts and desires.

"It's not that simple," she says, her voice so soft I strain to hear it and one of those shiny tears trails its way down her cheek.

It feels as if my hearts are breaking in my chest. It becomes hard to breathe, every inhale is an effort as my throat tightens.

"Why?" I ask, hating the fact that my voice sounds so strangled but what can I do?

"I'm scared."

"I will fix it," I say. "Who scares you? I will end them."

"Not who…" she trails off. "It's not that easy, Sek. This is so… hard to explain. I don't think your kind has anything like this. Nothing I can compare it to and it's too…"

"Too? Too what? Tajss intends us, we belong, why? Why do you say no?"

The pressure in my head continues building and if it doesn't end soon I am certain that my head will explode. How much pressure can my skull withstand before it gives way? My hearts beat faster and harder than they ever have, not even before I go into battle have I felt them like this. And overlaying everything else is pain. Undefined, no single location, but throbbing and aching and hurting deep, clear into my soul.

The tears flow freely down her face as she looks up. She bites her lip, shakes her head, then she places one hand on my chest.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault. Not yours. You can blame me for it, but I… I can't. I'm sorry."

She spins on her heel and runs for the door.

"Wren… wait!" I yell at her retreating form but she doesn't stop.

She disappears through the door and the world caves in around me. I drop to my knees and bow my head, unable to remain upright any longer.