17. Wrenlee

17

WRENLEE

I listen to Saylor tossing and turning, praying for her to hurry up and go to sleep. Tonight, will not be a sleepwalk, I'm going with purpose and intention. I hope that Sek'su will be there. I had no way to let him know I was coming, but I have a feeling he will be.

She tosses over yet again, and I suppress a growl of frustration. Normally Saylor goes right to sleep. It's easy to know if she's out because she snores. Not terribly, but it's loud enough to leave no doubt she's sleeping.

I ball my hands into fists and roll onto my side trying to be more comfortable. I don't want to be too comfortable because then I might doze off myself. It's kind of amazing the way I've adjusted to the lack of comfort since the crash, but this is a new extreme. The Cavern Zmaj build everything out of stone, including their beds.

My hip throbs with discomfort so I roll to the other side. Probably why Saylor isn't asleep. Fucking beds. I lie still, waiting and listening, while my thoughts spin around what I'm going to say to him.

I don't want to do this, but I also don't know how to keep seeing him. If Emery knows about the bathroom, which it surely seems she does… I can't even think about it.

A soft snore echoes from the stone cubby that we call our beds. I wait and listen, not daring to possibly disturb her when she just got to sleep. I count the beatings of my heart to pass the time until finally I figure she's deep enough asleep I can slip out.

I slide out of the cubby, stretching my legs until my feet are on the cool stone floor. The fire has died down to dim coals which give off just enough light so that I can make out the room. I tiptoe over to my clothes, slip on my pants, and then my shoes.

I look over my shoulder, but Saylor is not even an outline in the dark cubby of the bed. I wait, half expecting her to call me out, but nothing happens. I slip through the heavy leather door and head for Sek'su, clinging to the hope that he'll be there.

Not for the first time I miss the comm systems we had on the ship. Being connected to everyone all the time was a luxury that you never knew you loved until it was gone. Never would I have gone to meet someone without knowing damn well they would be there before I ever left. Of course, back then I might not have shown up, but that was part of the game.

I smile at the memory of all the times I would let it leak I would be at one place only to appear at a completely different one. All the reporters and hangers-on having gathered to bask in the glow of my presence, being disappointed to find out I wasn't there, but all of that only served to strengthen my reputation. I was, after all, not only the Ice Queen, but I was mercurial. As shifting as the red sands of this hellhole of a planet we now call home.

There is one Zmaj on patrol as I make my way down the hall toward the room that I have come to think of as Sek'su's and mine, but he only nods as I pass him by. I give him a smile and a returning nod, hoping that Zmaj don't gossip like humans.

The room is dimly lit by a torch in the hall, leaving most of it in shadows. I lean against the wall oppositethe door and wait. Time crawls past. It feels like hours, but I am sure it's only been a few minutes. When I hear a low swishing sound, I push off the wall in anticipation.

My skin prickles as the sound comes closer. I know that sound. It's a Zmaj, nothing else I've ever heard sounds like that. It's the sound of one of their tails dragging across the stone floors. All of them let their tail drag behind them as they walk and it's subtle but distinct.

When the leather door shifts my heart speeds up and my mouth dries out. It literally feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff and about to leap. My stomach is tight and my heart races. I blink rapidly, trying to keep my eyes focused in the darkness.

A head sticks through the door. I know it immediately. I'd had all these thoughts of calling this off. Telling him no more, that we can't do this, but the moment I see his head, and recognize the curve of his horns, I rush across the room. I bounce off of him as I grab onto his neck and our lips crush together.

We're both moaning into the kiss without breaking it. There isn't a single thought in my head about breaking this off. How could I not have this time in his arms? That sounds like a fate worse than death. Social or physical.

He tears at my clothes as I fumble with the tie on his pants. It isn't long before we're naked and fucking. It's animalistic. Primal. Utterly out of control and I love it. I've never fucked with this kind of pure passion before. I don't think I've honestly ever cared about anyone before, not like I do him.

He finishes quickly and I do too. Then the afterglow is crushed by the knowing that I have to talk to him. I can't keep doing this. Emery is coming for me hard. The last thing I should be doing is giving her ammunition. I'm silent as we each clean ourselves up. The dark thoughts of what I should do swirl in my head.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I straighten my shirt out, then look at him and shake my head.

"No," I say, my jaw is so tense that I can barely get the word out.

"What is wrong?" he asks, coming closer, reaching for me.

I should move away. I need to end this. I know it, but I don't move. His arms encircle me, and he's cool, as always. His smooth scales have a texture to them that is unlike any human, but it's the size of his arms and their thickness. That and the feelings that they evoke as they encircle me, are more than anything I've ever experienced.

I need him.

And there it is. I have prided myself my entire life on needing no one. When I was six years old, I learned that I was on my own in this world when my mother left me to fend for myself at a beauty pageant. She didn't handhold or coddle me then and, though I was scared, I survived. I survived and I learned the most important lesson of my life. That I don't need anyone.

I didn't.

Which is the problem. How can he make me feel like this? I don't know him. We fuck. That's about it. We've barely talked to each other. I barely know his name, and yet… my heart lifts when I see him. I feel drawn to him in ways that should be impossible. I feel giddy when he's around and clearly, I can't control myself.

"Me. Us," I whisper as he nuzzles my neck and nibbles on the lobe of my ear.

He's moved behind me and has his arms clasped around my middle with his cock pressing hard against my ass. I want him. I don't want to do this; I don't want to talk about this and I really don't want to end this. What I really want is for him to shove that hard cock back into me and fill me over and over. I never want to leave his arms.

What is wrong with me? Am I going to throw everything away? For what?

Yet that is where I am. Or close enough to it. Ready to toss it all for his dick… But it's more than that. I close my eyes, shudder as his warm breath trails over my neck, then step free of his embrace.

"What is it?" he asks, disappointment heavy in his voice.

"Sek'su, we need to talk," I say.

"Of course, my treasure."

And my heart skips. It's a word. What in the hell is this? Why does he have this effect on me? It's a word. A single, stupid word that means nothing like the weight he puts behind it.

Treasure.

For him, it's not just a word though and I damn well know it. It's a claiming, but even more, it's a giving. A commitment. He is giving himself to me, body, heart, and soul. And what am I going to do now? Stomp all over it? Even I am not that cold.

I was, though, before. I was the Ice Queen, and that title was well deserved but this red-hot Zmaj is melting my crown of ice.

I stare up at him, trying to steel my resolve but his eyes are soft and gorgeous, his hair long and lush, and damn it I'm distracted again. I speak, intending to end this, but my mouth betrays me.

"Are you happy?"

Happy? What does that have to do with anything? What is wrong with me?

Emery's voice echoes in my head. She knows and I'm in trouble. Ending this is the smart thing to do. The right thing even, but do I? No, I ask how he's feeling.

"When I am with you, yes," he says, trailing fingers down my arms. I shiver with delight that I should not be feeling. I love the feeling of his fingers on me. Of all of him on me. And in me. "Are you happy, my treasure? What can I do for you?"

"What about when you're not with me?" I avoid the questions that spark my imagination down every dirty path I've ever dreamed of.

He frowns and grunts, shrugging his shoulders. I love the sound of his wings rustling as he does. They sound like leather rubbing against itself.

"When you are not near, it is dark, and I am waiting for the light."

My heart skips and pressure builds behind my eyes. That is the corniest, stupidest thing I've ever heard, and if anyone else had said it to me I would laugh out loud. But coming out of his mouth, I know it's true.

I put my hands on his shoulders, moving to clasp them on his neck. The muscles of his shoulders are strong yet supple. I run my hands up and down his neck, over the shoulders, then back up onto his face.

"You say the sweetest things," I murmur.

"Only because you inspire me."

I smile then close my eyes and take a deep breath. I gather my thoughts. This is it. I need to tell him. I care about him, fine, but I also care enough to not play him. I can't throw everything away. Even the thought of it makes my stomach flip and cold creeps across my body.

I open my mouth to say the words, but then his lips are on mine.

Words? What words?