23. Kadia

Kaida stomped up the stairs into her room, slamming her door as she entered. After she managed to gain control of her dragon and shift back, the looks she received from many bystanders made Kaida want to curl into a ball and cry. They all looked terrified of her. She didn’t even know what happened and why her dragon thought it necessary to shift. The situation could have been handled differently.

There was no reason to escalate shifting. That person would not have been able to overpower any of us. Azulia was handling it just fine.

That woman was going to attack. I was going to protect us at any cost.

You could have just used the shield! You didn’t need to shift.

Her dragon did not respond. She could feel the dragon inside of her mind, sulking in a corner. Kaida had no patience left and threw herself onto the waterbed. The faces of the townspeople came to mind again. Seeing them all looking at her, waiting for her to attack, shattered her heart. They would not see her as a leader if they feared her. Many people were scared of the King and Queen because they were not tolerant of people doing anything they disapproved of. She witnessed many conversations between her parents about how people reported that they did not go near the castle and the shops there because they feared they would be prosecuted if they made a mistake.

I can’t even state that they were wrong now. They found out my dragon hadn’t emerged yet and used it to their advantage. They influenced Enzo to reject me with that knowledge.

Kaida stared up at the ceiling and felt the growl in her chest as she remembered that moment and lived it as if it happened yesterday. They disapproved of her and used it to get their way. The people who looked at her and how she handled today’s argument had the same effect on the people on this island. They thought they would be immediately prosecuted if they made a mistake, had a bad day, or said something they shouldn’t have.

That is not how you rule. That is how you lose the respect of your people.

There was a knock at her door, and Kaida groaned. She didn’t want to face Arlo. The look he had on his face was not something she was proud of either. The look of "that was not how this should have happened" made her stomach twist. Kaida begged her dragon to take flight and bring her home, and her dragon obliged.

"I don’t want to talk about it, Arlo!"

"It’s not Arlo," Esen’s voice said, penetrating through the door.

Kaida lifted herself to her elbows and stared at the door. The scent of a warm summer breeze wafted into the room. If she paid attention, she would have known it was Esen before he opened her mouth. I need to get better at that. She wondered if Arlo asked Esen to talk to her or if this was something else. Part of her wanted to tell him to go away, and the other wanted him to come inside.

"Kaida, can I come in?"

Esen’s voice was soft like a gentle breeze. Kaida swallowed hard as her mouth went dry as she pictured him whispering to her of the things he wanted to do to her. She rubbed her thighs together as she found herself aching for him.

Jeezus, I hope this is normal. I feel like I’m becoming a hoe.

He is our mate. Of course, we want him.

He tried to kill me.

He was trying to train you to get me to emerge. I doubt he wanted you dead.

On that note, Kaida thought her dragon could be right. Just because Blaze hated her didn’t mean that Esen did. He could have just wanted her to become stronger. Their deal was to train her so her dragon could emerge, and then she would lead them back so she could see the look on Enzo’s face that he was wrong about her.

"Come in; door is unlocked."

The door creaked open, and Kaida saw his dark blue eyes peering at her from under his dirty blond hair. His eyes didn’t meet hers but instead stared at the headboard behind her. The bond between them was closed off, which made Kaida unable to know what could be going through his head. Beckett mentioned that they all were at the archives and learned they could be her mates outside Blaze. Esen knew that there was something between them. That’s why he needed her to be around just like Beckett and Arlo.

He did defend me against Blaze. So, it does make sense. But I don’t want to just forgive and forget. Why is it so hard to keep myself from holding onto the anger I felt after we trained on the beach?

Esen put his hands in his pockets and kept his head bowed. It looked as if he were trying to force himself to stay inside the doorway so he could run at any moment.

Am I that scary? Did Arlo tell him what happened, and he isn’t getting close because I have no control over my dragon?

"How can I help you, Esen?"

Kaida could see Esen sucking in one of his cheeks as if he were going to bite it. He still wouldn’t look her in the eyes either.

"I know about your dragon needing multiple mates, as you know. I’m wondering if you wanted to talk about it with me?"

Kaida tilted her head at him. "Sure, I guess we could. Did you want to sit down? Or close the door for privacy?"

Esen shook his head. "I’m good like this. No one else is in the house."

"Okay." Kaida pushed herself so she could sit on the edge of the bed so she wouldn’t be bounding around like a ship on rough seas.

"I don’t really know how to start." Esen paused. "This is all kind of weird. I always knew the Great Dragon had a plan for me. I didn’t think it would be to share my mate with my best friends."

"You’re telling me. I expected to have one mate. That mate rejected me, and now I have others. Not just one other, either."

"I guess it is weird for you, too."

"When you spend your life being told that the Great Dragon only gives one mate and then find out that you can end up being bonded to every breed of dragon, yeah. It gets a bit weird. I don’t even understand how it’s possible. Is my magic different or something?"

"We don’t know. It seems because of how rare Plasma dragons are; it is the best way to ensure that the species can survive. Look at it like this: your dragon hasn’t been heard of in almost a millennium. Everyone thought that Plasma was extinct. Yet here you are. Plasma was in your bloodline, and now you emerged as one. I think it even said that being a Plasma takes longer to emerge because of their magic and such."

Kaida made a hand gesture to shoo his words away. "Sure. That is understandable. Plasma magic is different from others, so it takes longer to emerge. Whatever. But I have multiple mates just because I am a rare dragon species?"

"Seems so."

Kaida growled. "Well, I find that to be a bit annoying, especially since I was mated to the people who didn’t seem to want me around."

She threw herself back onto the bed and rode out the waves from the water. She heard Esen suck in a breath at her words. She knew it was a low blow. However, she was tired of keeping her mouth shut. This was her life, and things were constantly changing for her. One moment, she thinks she is getting her life on track to something she can handle, but then it is ripped out from underneath her.

"I know," Esen whispered.

That wasn’t at all what she expected him to say. The feeling of regret was laced inside his words. Kaida heard it clear as day. Esen was not proud of his actions against her.

"I am my own person, yet I acted under someone else’s orders. When you’ve been friends with people since you were in diapers, it’s hard to turn your back on them, especially when this person lands on your territory, you don’t know you feel something for them because no bond shows up like it’s supposed to, and you can’t figure out why you feel something for someone. It’s not an excuse, really. I’m not saying I should get a pass just because we are mates."

Kaida lifted her head to look at him. "What are you saying, then?"

Esen bowed his head and kicked at an invisible rock. "I was stupid, I guess. I want to make it up to you, however I can."

Kaida pushed herself to sit on the edge again. The bond still told her nothing. It bothered her that Beckett and Arlo’s opened up easily once they discussed things. Esen’s was still guarded.

Is he lying? Can’t I smell if he is lying or something?

There was no response from her dragon, so she wasn’t sure. Kaida was sure that Esen’s bond was different from the other two. It made her hesitate to believe Esen’s words.

"What would you do to earn my forgiveness?"

Esen looked at her for the first time since entering her room. There was a softness there that she didn’t remember seeing before. His face sagged at her words, and Kaida realized that she may have hurt his feelings.

"Do you have something in mind that you want me to do?"

"Yeah, I want you not to bullshit me. I don’t have time to play games."

"Kaida, I’m not trying to play games."

"Then how come the bond is still closed off?"

Esen’s eyebrows furrowed as his lips turned down to frown at her. Kaida felt her heart ram against her chest as she waited for him to answer her. Did she cross the line? Did she jump to conclusions just because the bond was still finicky?

"I don’t know. I’ve never experienced a bond with someone before, to even be able to answer that question. I don’t really know much about bonds, just that they form between two people, usually, and they can feel each other’s emotions, and it helps create a closeness that may not have existed without it. It links our souls together, making us feel whole. Kaida, I promise you, I want to feel whole. I didn’t know something was missing in my life until your dragon emerged, and I felt that pull to you. I finally felt, for a brief second, what it was like to know my mate was in my presence. That my soul can feel whole when I always thought it was. I’m new to all of this, too. I can’t express enough to you that if I had known you were my mate when you washed up on the island, I would not have gone as hard on you as I did on that beach. Blaze thought that if we went that hard on you and your dragon emerged, that would be awesome. If it didn’t, and you died, it’s not like we would miss much because we didn’t know you."

Esen sighed and dropped to his knees. Kaida tilted her head in confusion and watched him to see what his next move was.

"I want to make you a promise. If you accept it, I will be eternally grateful."

Kaida lifted an eyebrow at him. "Go on."

Esen bowed his head for a moment, and when he lifted it again, she could see one of his dark blue eyes was normal, and the other was the slit that was the dragon inside of him.

"We promise to become everything and more of what is expected as a mate. We will do everything in our power to make things right for you. We will treat you like the Queen you are and beg your forgiveness every day and night if it means that you will accept us to be your mate. What we did was wrong. We can’t change the past, but we can certainly change the present. You are our mate. The Great Dragon gifted us the one person who is the other half of our soul. We promise to be everything you need us to be and protect you with our lives. You are the treasure that we always wanted to find... and we will do anything to keep you."

Well damn...