35. Seth

Chapter Thirty-Five

SETH

Seth’s ears were rushing so loud that the crowd faded beneath it. His heart was pounding like a hydraulic press, so hard it felt like his ribs were about to crack and all his pain and fear and hope would come spilling out.

Time slowed and then stopped, suspended between his heartbeats, the moment he spotted Aiden's familiar shock of blond curls in the crowd. Longer, and no longer faintly red, but he’d recognize that golden halo and the familiar tilt of his head anywhere. Aiden. His Aiden. Alive, here, finally breathing the same air once more.

They locked eyes, and for a moment, joy began to swell inside him. Then Aiden turned and ran. He ran. Again.

Seth was off the podium before he realized he'd even moved, ignoring the startled exclamations of the crowd. The elderly townsfolk had clustered closest to the stage to hear, and he was forced to slow down so they didn't topple like a set of bowling pins.

"Tessa!" he shouted, his voice hoarse and desperate as he dodged through the crowd.

Riley crouched on the cobblestone, and his sister gamely climbed onto her boyfriend's shoulders to see above the gathered heads.

"That way!" she yelled, pointing wildly. "Get him, Seth!"

Seth tore down a side street that cut behind a candy shop, barely registering the hoots and hollers from the Triple M's cowboys. He had only one focus—Aiden. He had to get to him; he couldn't let him disappear again. Not after two months of agonizing silence, and night after sleepless night, wondering where he was and if he was safe. Nightmares plagued him. The thought of losing him again was unbearable. They'd missed so many chances over the years. How many more opportunities could one man get before fate washed its hands of him?

Seth's boots pounded down the pavement, but Aiden had too much of a head start, and the fucker was fast. His long legs ate up the ground in an ever-widening gulf, but gut-wrenching fear spurred Seth to move faster. He put on a burst of speed just as Aiden's truck came into view around the corner.

He was close enough to see the way Aiden's hand shook as he fumbled with his keys, and it nearly broke Seth's heart all over again.

"Aiden, stop!" he shouted.

Aiden ignored him, climbing behind the wheel with jerky, uncoordinated movements and locking the doors behind him. Seth's heart plummeted. He didn't know what Aiden was thinking. Maybe he wasn't thinking at all; maybe he was operating on sheer animal instinct. He was running out of self- preservation, in the futile hope that it would hurt less that way. It wouldn't. It was going to hurt for the rest of their lives if they didn't fix this now.

Seth wasn't going to let a locked door stop him. Not now—not ever. He caught the bumper with the toe of his boot and launched himself onto the hood of the truck, landing with a thud that rattled the aluminum panel. Their gazes locked through the windshield, and Aiden's eyes bolted wide with shock.

"Unlock the door, Aiden," Seth commanded in his most threatening tone. He wasn't playing around. He refused to lose Aiden again. Not without a hell of a fight.

Aiden shook his head desperately. His chest was heaving, and his panicked breath fogged up the glass between them. It killed Seth to know that Aiden was hurting so much. He'd been hurting alone for so long, but Seth was going to make sure he was never alone again.

Aiden cracked the window just enough to yell, "Get off the roof, asshole!"

"Unlock the door!" Seth repeated.

Aiden's lips thinned, and he lowered his chin. Seth had only a moment to curse and grip the frame before Aiden shifted into gear. The truck lurched forward a few feet, and Seth's boots slipped out beneath him. He scrambled for purchase.

"Get off my damn truck!" Aiden's voice was cracking with emotion.

"Make me!" Seth shot back.

Aiden stared Seth down through the glass. He was beginning to look pissed. "Last chance," he warned. "Get off the truck. I'm leaving whether you're on it or not."

"You want to leave, you take me with you," Seth said in a low voice.

Aiden's eyes narrowed. Determination flooded his expression, and then he threw the truck into reverse and hit the gas. Seth had only a split second to make a decision, but in the end, it was no choice at all. He'd never let Aiden go again. The engine revved beneath him, and he curled his fingers around the lip of the hood, bracing for the worst.

For all his posturing, Aiden didn't take off like a bat out of hell. The truck rolled down the street at a modest clip, taking a corner with a sharp twist intended to shake Seth loose and send him rolling into the sidewalk flower box.

"Fuck!" Seth’s sweaty hands were cramping, and his boots slipped on the slick hood.

"Whooeee!" Delighted shouts rose up as they rolled by the assembled crowd. "Get 'im, Seth!"

"You can do it!"

"Ain't no worse than riding a bull at the county fair!"

Seth ignored them and braced his knees, one hand clutching the lip of the hood, the other pressed flat against the windshield above Aiden's head. Aiden stared straight ahead, his face a stony mask. Seth’s heart sank as he realized Aiden wasn’t going to stop. He was really going to drive out of town with Seth splayed against his windshield like a bug.

The truck swerved around a corner and picked up speed as they approached the edge of town. Houses and trees thinned, replaced by soggy open fields. The wind whipped Seth's hair around his face, stinging his eyes and getting into his mouth.

"I know you're scared!" Seth shouted over the roar of the wind and the engine. "But running away won't fix that pain inside you! Trust me—I know."

Aiden's knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. "You don't know anything!" he yelled back.

"I know you ," Seth snarled.

The truck jolted over a dirt trail and into a fallow, brown field just beginning to green for spring. The tires bounced roughly over the uneven ground, bumping and shuddering like a bucking bull. Mud splattered Seth's face, and he knew he was seconds from being pitched into the soft, churned-up dirt.

"I know you!" he shouted again, desperate. "I'm the one person in this fucking world you never have to run from, Aiden Doyle! Knock it off and talk to me!"

Aiden's fierce mask cracked, ever so slightly, and his face twisted. Even through the dirty windshield, Seth could read the doubt and longing in his expression. Aiden's foot eased off the gas pedal ever so slightly. Hope surged inside Seth, and he went in for the kill. "I know why you're running! You think you let me down—but that never happened! I've seen you at your best and your worst, and I still want you. I'll never want anyone else but you. I never have. It has to be you!"

Aiden braked so abruptly that Seth lost his grip. He went flying off the truck and landed with a hard thud, sliding through the mud on his back until he came to a stop in a clump of cover ryegrass. He lay there, winded, staring up at the cloudless, powder-blue sky. Distantly, a door slammed, and then he heard the mushy sound of Aiden’s approaching boots. He tried to lift his head to see, but his neck felt wobbly with relief.

"You're fucking crazy , you know that?" Aiden demanded, falling to his knees beside him. His normally sun-warmed complexion was ashen, and his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. "What kind of lunatic throws himself on top of a moving vehicle?"

"The same kind that would step in front of a bear for you," Seth said honestly. "I'll walk onto broken ice for you. I'll do anything it takes to keep you safe with me."

"Even if it means taking the blame for something I did?"

"Again and again. Every time." Seth locked eyes with him, allowing him to see the truth there. "I never regretted it. My only regret is not telling you the truth."

Aiden only looked more distressed. "Are you hurt?"

Seth ignored the question. He propped himself up on one elbow and cupped Aiden’s beloved face in one hand. Aiden's cheek twitched beneath the gentle stroke of his thumb. Seth smiled despite his aching back and said fiercely, "We chose each other the day we met. You can't go back on something like that."

"What if I fuck up again?" Aiden asked in an agonized whisper. "What if I drag you down with me? You deserve so much better than a screw-up like me."

"You could screw up a million times, and I'll love you through it," Seth promised. He couldn't hold back any longer; he'd been aching to hold Aiden again for so long. He was parched for the touch of his skin. His hands were shaking when he reached out and wrapped his arms around Aiden's tense body. "You belong here," he whispered, hauling Aiden against his chest. "In my arms. In my life. This is your home, and you've already spent too much of our lives away from it. You're everything to me. Before you, my world had edges. You opened it up and made it beautiful. Don't take that away from me— please. I can't go through that again."

Slowly, hesitantly, Aiden's arms wrapped around Seth's chest, and then they tightened, squeezing until his ribs creaked. A choked sob erupted from his throat, and he buried his face in Seth's neck. They knelt together in the mud, holding on as if they could absorb each other into their skin, and it felt like Seth could finally breathe again.

"I'm sorry," Aiden said hoarsely. "I'm so sorry. I just don’t want to let you down again."

Even though it hurt to do it, Seth found the strength to pull back far enough to look into Aiden's eyes. "You never need to say that word to me," he said.

The tentative smile in Aiden's red-rimmed eyes felt like a balm on his wounded soul. "Can I say thank you?"

"That depends." Seth felt his mouth curve in his first genuine smile in weeks. "Why are you saying it?"

Aiden's throat bobbed on a hard swallow. "Thank you for finding me," he said in a voice full of humility. "Back then, when I was just an aimless kid…and today. Thank you for waiting for me even after I ran like a chickenshit."

Seth cupped his jaw and drew him in for a brief, caressing kiss as gentle as spring rain. When they parted, Aiden's sigh was a warm puff against his lips.

"You waited for me," Seth whispered, resting his forehead against Aiden's and basking in the joy and gratitude flowing through him. "Even after I turned my back on you, you were there as soon as I was ready. I'd do the same for you, no matter how long it took."

"You were worth waiting for," Aiden protested.

Seth's smile was slow and tender. "Sweetheart," he said wryly, "so are you—and I'm going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."