13. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

RILEY

I brought the charming, brightly colored mug to my lips and absentmindedly stared out the window as I waited for Jessica to arrive. I was sitting in Brewed Awakenings, Oakville's coffee shop. The mugs here were all hand crafted and looked like an artist tripped and dumped all the colors on their palette on them. They matched the brightly colored art scattered on the wall space giving the coffee shop a bright and eccentric vibe. Isaac and Elizabeth, the baristas working at the counter, greeted everyone by name. The perks of living in a small town I bet. My laptop was open in front of me but I had long since given up on any words flowing out of my fingers. My thoughts were on last night. I knew Colton and Justin were best friends but there seemed to be something deeper there. A layer that I didn't know about. The long eye contact between them and the casual touches. Maybe it was just a deep friendship but it seemed like there was something more between them. I knew Colton was bisexual but was Justin too?

Movement outside the window caught my eye. Jessica stepped out of a white mini-suv and started across the street towards the coffee shop. She was dressed in a pair of light pink pants and a cream blouse, looking every inch like a southern belle. We had met for the first time a few days ago after I had gotten back into town when Colton had invited Jessica, Jake and Justin over to the house for a small barbeque. It had been a little awkward at first as Jessica was a huge fan of my books and I never knew what to do when I came face to face with a fan.

Over the internet, I could interact with a level of detachment that made the interactions more comfortable to me. But in person? I turned into a bumbling idiot that couldn't accept a compliment. But Jessica had quickly smoothed out any awkwardness when she saw me squirming. She was so friendly and sweet that it made talking to her easy. I didn't want to jinx it but I think if this thing between Colton and I worked out, Jessica could be my first friend in town outside Colton. Justin could be your friend too, a voice whispered in my ear but I pushed it away as Jessica entered. Maybe if I knew Jessica better, I could ask her about Colton and Justin but that would have to wait. Even if I could use another woman's perspective on things.

"Hey, girlie!" Jessica's voice was bright and cheery. "Let me grab a drink real quick and I'll be right back. Do you want anything?"

I smiled at her holding up the fresh cup of coffee I had just gotten. "No, I'm good. Thanks though!"

Jessica stepped into line, striking up a conversation with Elizabeth as she took her order. For a moment, I envied her. What was it like to grow up in a small town like this? Where everyone knew everyone and everyone was a friend? I had been on my own for so long that it seemed foreign to me and a small bit of discomfort churned in my gut. But at the same time, there was some jealousy there as well.

"Sorry about that," Jessica said, sliding into the seat across from me. "The dogs decided to roll in shit this morning and I had to hose them off before I left." Jessica and her husband Jake lived on a two acre hobby farm right outside town. They had chickens, ducks, goats, and two dogs that seemed to get in more trouble than all the other animals combined.

"Oh no!" I said, laughing. "I can only imagine."

Jessica rolled her eyes but there was a smile on her face. "I've never loved something so much but also wanted to strangle them. But enough about my crazy animals, how are you? How is it being back for a longer visit?"

I shifted in my seat. "It's been pretty good actually," I admitted. I had been nervous about the longer visit but reasoned to myself I could always change my return ticket but it had been pretty smooth. "We're figuring out a routine. He usually cooks us breakfast in the morning or at least makes me coffee while he eats breakfast and then when he goes to work, I start working as well. Then we've been hanging out in the evenings. Sometimes Justin comes over as well and we watch a movie or something."

Jessica's eyebrows raised. "Justin comes over? And he's polite to you?"

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "He is. Is that bad?" Was there something I didn't know?

Jessica smiles and places a hand on my arm. "No! Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I'm just a little surprised that's all. Usually Justin doesn't get along with Colton's girlfriends at all but I'm glad he's getting along with you. You're amazing for Colton, Jake and I have never seen him this happy, and it seems like Justin sees that too."

I think about all the times I've caught Justin looking at us with an unreadable look in his eyes. "Maybe… I don't know. I hope so."

"What do you mean?" Jessica probed gently.

I hesitated. I didn't know how much I could share with her. I knew Jake was good friends with Colton and Justin which meant Jessica was probably good friends too.

Jessica seemed to understand my hesitation as she squeezed my arm gently. "Look, I'm going to be honest with you. I know we haven't known each other for long, but I have a feeling we're going to be great friends. And even if that doesn't happen, I'm very firmly on the girl power side of things. I know it might be awkward to talk about them as I've grown up with them, but if you let me, I'd love to be an unbiased ear for you. Well, not totally unbiased, as I'll be on your side but as close as you could get."

Her expression was earnest and her eyes were serious even as a small smile played on her lips. I felt the tension seeping out of me at her words. "I'd like that," I admitted. "I don't have very many friends to talk to about this."

"Well you've got me. So tell me. Or we don't have to talk about it at all and we can talk about other things."

I wanted to talk about it but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. How did I say, I think my boyfriend's best friend is in love with him based on these things I've noticed? "I don't know how to say it," I began slowly and Jessica nodded. She looked around to make sure we were out of earshot of anyone else and then she leaned in.

"Is it about how close Justin and Colton are?"

My eyes widened slightly as she hit the nail on the head. I nodded and she smiled at me. "I figured. If you ask me, it's why Colton hasn't dated that much or why his relationships never lasted long before you came along. And why Justin doesn't date."

There must have been a look on my face as she quickly continued. "It's different with you. I can see it, Jake can see it, and Justin can probably see it too. I always thought after college that those two would come home in a relationship but I guess not."

Wait, Justin was who Colton dated in college? Why wouldn't he tell me that? Was Colton not over it and that's why he didn't say anything? Was I getting in the way of him and Justin? The sharp ache of betrayal rose up inside me but understanding surged forward as well. God, I was such an idiot. That made perfect sense and explained their friendship and closeness. Jessica's eyes widened. "He didn't tell you. "

"He told me he was bisexual and dated in college but he didn't tell me it was Justin."

Jessica frowned and shook her head. "Men are dumb."

"He didn't owe me that information," I argued weakly even as a sharp pain tugged at my heart in my chest. I didn't know what to feel. I wanted to be angry he kept this from me but we hadn't been dating that long and he didn't owe me anything.

"No, but he should have provided it. I understand why he didn't, he probably thought it would scare you off. Which tells me how important you are to him because in the past, he's always held his relationships at arm's length in order to not lose Justin."

I frowned. "Why would it scare me off? You can't help who you love and everyone has a past."

Jessica pointed her finger at me. "And that's how I know you're perfect for him. Because that is your reaction."

Understanding dawned on me. "Not everyone has reacted the same way."

Jessica shook her head. "Nope. Some of them got pretty ugly too. This is a decently progressive town for a small town in Kentucky mostly due to Colton's parents but we still have our bigots."

"His dad was the mayor, right?"

"Yep, Mayor Forrest. But Agnes was the unofficial mayor, everyone knew that. And she's a huge ally to the LGBTQIA+ community. Her sister, Colton's aunt, is a lesbian and is married and lives in Pennsylvania. She started our first pride festival in the fall and did a lot of outreach work. I think they also expected Colton and Justin to come home from college dating but when they came home just friends, no one said anything. Even if we can all see how they look at each other."

I could see it too and the realization made me sick to my stomach. I was the other person here. I was in between the two of them. "Now, I'm here coming in between them."

"No," Jessica held up a finger at me again, "You're not coming in between them, they made a choice. A choice not to be together. Lord knows, Jake and I have tried to talk sense into them separately but they were both adamant that this was for the best."

"But…" I trailed off as I thought of the way they looked at each other and the easy friendship and closeness they had together. They acted like a couple and I didn't see it till now. "They have all that history together… what I mean is…"

"How could you compare?" Jessica said blankly but I appreciated the bluntness.

I nodded, my throat tight all of a sudden. I liked Colton but I couldn't compare to the history he had with Justin. And anyone with eyes could see they were perfect for each other.

"Who said you needed to." Jessica said.

"I don't want to come between them," I argued.

"And who said coming between them was a bad thing?" Jessica waggled her eyebrows at me and I barked out a surprised laugh in spite of myself. "I read romance books in addition to true crime, sometimes coming between two hot guys is the best part."

I rolled my eyes. "That's in books though, not in real life." But unbidden, images of being stuck between Justin's intensity and Colton's steadiness flashed across my mind. Both men were hot, there was no denying that. I shifted in my seat before I shut down that line of thinking.

"See, you've thought about it," Jessica read me too well. "It's not that different. It's double the communication that's for sure but it's totally doable."

I shook my head, more in disbelief that we were having this conversation than in protest. "I don't even think Justin likes me. He hasn't given me any indication that he more than tolerates me for Colton's sake."

Jessica shook her head. "I'm calling bullshit on that. I saw how he looked at you when we were over at the house the other day. He looks at you the same way he looks at Colton. You probably scare him shitless though because he's scared to lose Colton even if he'll never admit it. "

"I don't get it though, he wouldn't ever lose Colton. Especially not to me."

"You don't see it because you aren't from here but Colton looks at you like you've hung the moon. I've never seen the man like this. He's head over heels for you. If there was any person Justin would lose Colton to, it would be you."

I shook my head. "I don't want that. I don't want Justin to lose Colton to me. I can't compare to the history the two of them have and I don't want to."

"Which is the only reason this would work."

"What would work?"

"The three of you together."

"I don't know about that." A push to get Colton and Justin together was one thing, being a… did they call it a ‘throuple?' was a totally different beast. But still… I couldn't believe I was even considering it. "Even if Justin did like me, we don't know each other well enough for that."

"Then get to know him." Jessica shrugged her shoulders. "You've had to get to know Colton so do the same with Justin. Look," Jessica leaned forward, her green eyes serious. "You don't have to decide today. You don't even have to decide to do it. But from the small amount of time I've gotten to spend around you, I think you would be perfect for Colton and Justin. And I can tell by your eyes you've thought about it. Come on, you can admit that. They're both hot as fuck."

"Jessica!" I mock-whispered, my indignation broken by my giggles. The words sounded so wrong coming from her southern belle mouth.

Jessica giggled along with me. "What? I'm happily married but I'm not blind."

After our laughter died down, I took a deep breath. I didn't really know what to think. What Jessica was proposing sounded like a fairytale, like the best of both worlds but I wasn't sure that existed outside of romance books. But still, I wasn't blind, Colton and Justin were both extremely attractive in different ways but moreso, I could see how they looked at each other. Was there enough room for me in the midst of all that history? That, I didn't know.

"I'll think about it." I said finally.

"That's all I ask. And if you decide it's a hell no then I'll be your friend either way." Jessica promised. "Now, I think I need to introduce you to some of our fabulous boutiques. You've got two men to impress now."

I rolled my eyes at her but followed her up to the counter so we could deposit our mugs. I slid my laptop into my bag and pulled out my sunglasses as we stepped into the bright summer sun. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to check it.

Want to go out on the boat tomorrow? Are you okay if Justin comes along?

I nudged Jessica to show her the text message. She grinned. "Perfect. Here's your chance to get to know Justin better. Now, let's find you the perfect boating outfit."

Her smile was contagious and I wished her optimism was as well. But how could I compare to a lifetime of friendship and history? Maybe I should just enjoy it while it lasted before inevitably, Colton and Justin got together, leaving me alone like it seemed I was destined to be.