Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Tallula

T hat night, back at Pigs in a Blanket, there's a light knock on my door. I open it and Jesse leans on the wooden frame. He looks like he's been living in his gutted house for years with little more than a bucket to sit on and a backyard full of holes.

I want to hug him. I want him to crush me to his chest and promise everything is going to be alright.

With his arms folded tight between us, there's physical distance I'm afraid we can't cross—emotional too. Turns out it's easier to repeat the fake heartfelt lines of a character than to say how I truly feel.

"I'm still on the clock, working a double but came up because the light was still on. Good news. My cousin is in custody. No one in town is pressing charges, but he has to do community service."

Like the last time he led with good news, my heart pinches. "Does that mean there's bad news too?"

He nods slowly. "I'm getting transferred up north. Sheriff says my proximity to the people in town could become a liability. Whatever that means."

"People meaning me?"

"The Swans have a lot of influence in Cameron Parish," he hints.

I frown, not liking how this sounds. "Are you suggesting?—?"

"I visited your grandmother's nursing home this afternoon. Your father was there. I tried to explain everything about the ring. He wouldn't let me see her. Funnily enough, he said the whole story was hogwash."

"Do you still have it?" I glance at Jesse's pocket.

"I don't mean any disrespect to your father, Tallula, but I want to put the ring in your grandmother's hand myself. Make a proper apology on behalf of the Lawsons for any disturbance and upset we caused. As an officer, I'm working on setting up a meeting, but—" He lets out a shaky breath. "Yeah, I suppose the head sheriff isn't wrong. Emotions got caught up in this too. I hope we can stay in touch." With a nod and tip of his hat, he turns and disappears down the hallway.

The door remains open and words form on my tongue, but for once, I can't remember my lines. I don't know what they are. Now, I'm stuck here in Hogwash and can't help but think he'll forget about me.

It's a lot easier for Mara to tell me not to use those two words—I can't—than for me to actually do it.

The next morning at the Coffee Loft, I'm unusually sluggish and scatterbrained. I forget to add the flour to the beignet buns. How could I forget the main ingredient? I mix up the coffee and cream and give Doris Murray a very pale and poorly caffeinated beverage. This would feature in the bloopers reel of my life.

During the mid-morning lull, Mara sits me down with a baked doughnut she said she's testing. I try a bite, but it's like paste on my tongue, though I'm not sure if that's due to her baking skills or my low energy.

Wearing a hopeful smile, she leans in. "What do you think?"

"It's phenomenal." My voice is flat.

"And cut. From the top."

My brow furrows.

"Deliver the line again. More oomph. Try to really sell it."

The corners of my lips twitch, but I can't bring myself to smile and not only because the doughnut is dry and tastes more like Styrofoam than a sweet treat.

"I think we should stick to the beignet buns," I say.

"I'll agree on one condition."

Narrowing my eyes, I see what she's up to. "This was a ruse."

Mara shrugs and doesn't deny my accusation. "I let the kids loose in the kitchen and this is what they came up with. Here's the deal, tell me what happened or I'll release Jedediah and Margaret at Pigs in a Blanket while you're still sleeping."

"Alright, alright. Easy on the threats. Jesse is being transferred."

Gaze soft, my sister says, "And that's it? End scene?"

"I just don't think it's going to work out between us. "

"You've always been okay with crumbs and the cookies are right there."

I look around, my comfort food craving strong. "Where? Are we adding cookies to the menu?"

"You know what I mean. You could have it all—figure out a way to make it work."

"Can I unsubscribe from heartbreak?"

"Tally, you're cuckoo."

"Cocoa?" I could go for some chocolate right about now.

"No cuckoo. Chock full of nuts."

"Isn't that a kind of coffee?"

She rolls her eyes. "You're crazy about Jesse."

"And now he's gone. I always thought that if I was just good enough, my life would be good forever. I've been on a steady decline for a while now. Maybe I should just go back to Hollywood."

"Perhaps it's not your career you should be thinking about but your relationships. Sisterships. Friendships. Jesseships."

"He's leaving." I go into detail about everything that happened with the Bling Ring, our grandfather potentially framing Mr. Lawson, the theft of our grandmother's ring, and Jesse trying to make things right. "Not only did our father kick him out of the nursing home, the head sheriff is transferring him up north."

Mara's jaw slowly lowers. "That rat."

"Do we have rodents?" I tuck my knees to my chest.

"No, of course not. I'm talking about Orville Swan."

"Our father? "

"I was at their house yesterday, figured they'd want to see their grandchildren since they've been gone for over a month."

I cover my eyes with my palm. "I hadn't been over there to see if the handyman I hired cleaned up the mess from Peter. I paid him double what he quoted me for the job."

"Everything looked fine. Mother was concerned the children were going to get Cheeto dust on her furniture. My kids do not have orange fingers from a cheesy extruded corn puff snack."

"Grody."

Mara huffs. "They have sticky fingers from beignet rolls."

"Beignet buns."

"Don't be difficult. I'm on your team, Tally."

"Jumbo beignet buns," I say for the record.

"Anyway, Father was in his office, blustering. Jowls flapping. Mother started talking about the ring. I figured it was the same old story. But—" She pops her lips.

My breath sticks in my chest. "They were talking about how Grandad set someone up. How the gambling was out of control. Mother can't believe Granny forgave him on his deathbed. She thinks he pawned the ring. She was hoping to inherit it. That's why she's so obsessive."

"Did our father say anything?" Doubt peppers my voice.

"He said it was all taken care of. Not to worry about anything. No one was going to get in trouble and the business would not be bankrupt. "

Understanding cements. Jesse got burned by my father. Anger flares inside. "Of course, all they think about is money and at Jesse's expense."

"That's their problem. Remember what I said about good girls wanting bad boys? I never finished my thought. Before you go on another revenge rampage, hear me out. No matter who you are or where you come from, if you have love, it'll conquer all—shame, fears, failures, commitment, self-esteem, financial problems, and trust issues. Everything."

I wonder about the love blooming in my life. Has it shriveled up like a weed, fallen from a tree like a dead leaf?

"Mommy, when are we going to meet Matthew?" Margaret rushes over and rubs her mom's belly.

I gape. "Mara, are you?—?"

My sister beams. "I was waiting to make a formal announcement when Jake got home next week."

Hope and happiness surge inside. "Are you serious?"

"Do you really think the Golden Hogs were ordering all those beignet buns? No, I've been devouring them—breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

Margaret licks her lips.

"With a little help. Anyway, the team is called the Thunder Hogs."

"You can't expect me to know about local teams."

We both laugh, but then I go quiet because the look Mara gives me suggests maybe I should familiarize myself with everything Cameron Parish has to offer.

Even though it's been a long day, I offer to close up. Mara has a very full life. I almost overflow the sugar dispenser because that's just it. She has a life. A real one. Not a made-for-TV special or a scripted role. It's the kind of life I want.

It's right then that I officially decide that I'm not going anywhere. Not back to Hollywood. I want to be part of my sister's, nieces', and nephews' lives.

When I first returned to Hogwash, my sister told me, You can and you will .

Taking a deep breath, I tap on my social media app and click record, not even bothering to make sure my hair is smooth or reapplying lipstick.

"Lessons learned on my way to becoming a Hollywood reject: Worshipping at the altar of busyness and self-importance are overrated. That shallow friendships are like drinking toxic poison and telling yourself it tastes good. That a manipulative marriage, no matter how hot the guy, is not worth it. I'm not doing this to defend what I did. But to tell the truth. Maybe you need to hear that instead of being fed scripted lines or regurgitating them. I'm saying goodbye to social as Llula. You might see me on the Coffee Loft account from time to time. For now, I'm signing off and going to live my real life." And that's a wrap.

Satisfied, I turn off my phone and drive directly to Pigs in a Blanket, hoping Jesse is there. No luck. I shower and change into a fresh outfit my grandmother would approve of—some things don't change. I should've visited her weeks ago, and I hope she'll forgive me for not being "good" this one time .

After making a few phone calls, I swing by the town hall, hoping to find my favorite small-town swoony deputy there, but his SUV isn't in the parking lot.

Did he already leave?

Next, I head to the brick house under renovation, but he's not there either. I'm about to back out of the driveway when I get an idea. How hard can it be to break into a garage? Turns out, it's not even locked, but the door is heavy and covered in cobwebs. Breaking a slight sweat, I manage to heft it up. The motorcycle sits where we left it after our ride.

I long to wrap my arms around Jesse, feel the growl of the bike underneath us and the steady beat of his heart—the little happy hearts in mine. It breaks for him, what he's been through, and the future I've hardly let myself hope we could have.

Then I spot what I came for. Setting the framed painting of my grandparents in the trunk of the Lexus, I hope Jesse doesn't have this place under surveillance and arrests me for breaking and entering. Then again, that would be a good way to get his attention.

Just as I start down Metairie Road, toward Cameron Parish Care Home, he passes me in his patrol car. I pull an illegal U-turn, hoping he'll pull me over. When he doesn't, I flash my high beams and wave wildly out the window. Finally, he stops on the shoulder of the road and gets out. I do too and wish for one of those movie moments where we rush into each other's arms.

Instead, we stand there like two awkward teenagers as a long and expectant pause stretches between us .

"You don't have to leave," I say practically breathless like I was chasing him on foot rather than in my vehicle.

"I can't disobey the head sheriff's orders." Jesse gazes at his hands because as a bad boy, that's exactly what he used to do.

"I understand, but my father had something to do with that, I guarantee it." I quickly tell him what Mara said.

"Sadly, that doesn't change things. I'm on the line, Princess."

"We can figure this out. I'm going to talk to my father, and we're going to visit my grandmother."

He raises his eyebrows.

With a smile, I say, "I've arranged a meeting. Do you have the ring?"

He pats his pocket.

"Ride or die?" I ask.

He chuckles. "Let's not bury anything today. Well, except maybe the past," I add.