Chapter 26

The last coupleof days have been absolute hell without Lux. She’s every fucking thought that enters my mind. Where is she? What is she doing? Does she hate me after what happened at the initiation ritual?

I drop the weight I’d been pressing, struggling to catch my breath. The ocean and the gym in my basement are the only two places I can find a small degree of solace, a brief reprieve from the constant, churning thoughts that consume me.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve managed to stop myself from texting her. I’d come close a couple of times, but my father’s words always come back to haunt me…

You’re a worthless coward.

The brave thing would be to let Lux go. I know that logically. Lucas and the guys are right. This shit with Lux has gotten way out of hand. I have enough self-awareness to realize that. But none of this shit was supposed to happen. I was supposed to seduce her, and after I’d gotten what I wanted, discard her, just like Ash said.

But in the middle of all that, the impossible had happened. I caught feelings. I caught fucking feelings.

I’m such an idiot.

Worthless.

With a grunt, I pick up another set of weights and start doing reps until my biceps burn.

“Yo, Roman.”

It’s Jackson. I drop the weights and turn to face him, the breath sawing from my lungs. Sweat drips off me in buckets, soaking through my tank top.

“What do you want?” I ask, running a hand through my wet hair. I’m still pissed at Jackson and the guys for what they pulled a couple of days ago with Lux, but the desire to rip their heads off has subsided a little.

“Any word from the lawyer yet?”

My phone is sitting on an empty bench, and I lean over to pick it up, glancing at the time. Court should have let out a half hour ago, but there’s been no phone call, nothing.

I put my phone back down, and pick up the weights. “Nothing yet. But no news is good news, right?”

Jackson shakes his head. “We’re climbing the walls upstairs, waiting for word. How are you so damn calm?”

“I’m not calm,” I say through gritted teeth. “That’s why I’m in the fucking gym.”

The call from James’ lawyer should be coming any minute, and inside, I’m a mess of emotions. On one hand, my brother might be getting out of jail today, and entering a treatment facility. But once that call comes through from the lawyer—regardless of the outcome—my time with Lux is over. Unless I can find a way to prevent her from finding out the truth.

Jackson turns to leave but seems to remember something, and turns back to face me. “Just let us know when the call comes through. We’re all upstairs.”

“You said that already,” I bite back.

My cell phone rings.

Jackson straightens as I reach for the phone. It’s the lawyer. My heart thunders against my ribs as I swipe to answer. “What’s up?”

The lawyer’s voice comes over the receiver. “The judge accepted our proposal. James will be transferred to Lockly tomorrow morning.”

A flood of relief swamps me, and I release the breath I feel like I’ve been holding for almost a year. “Have you already spoken to my mother?”

“Not yet. You were my first call. I’ll let her know.”

“Thanks again,” I say hanging up.

Jackson looks nervous like he’s waiting for me to deliver bad news.

“We’re good. He’s being transferred to Lockly tomorrow,” I say.

Jackson visibly melts, releasing a long breath. “Thank-fucking-God.” Half-turning, he starts heading up the stairs, pausing halfway up. “You coming? The guys will want to hear it from you.”

I wave him off. “Nah, you tell them. I need a minute.”

“Roman, about the initiation—”

“I just need a minute,” I say again, cutting him off. I don’t need the whole spiel again, about how they had no choice but to protect the society, how it wasn’t personal, yadda, yadda.

Jackson nods sharply and continues up the stairs. As soon as he’s gone, I sink down onto one of the benches, head in my hands.

That’s it.

It’s done.

My brother will go to treatment, and I can go back to my life before all this happened. My empty, pointless life. Going to class, partying, fucking so many random girls, I couldn’t even conjure their faces in my mind’s eye if I wanted to…

Worthless coward.

After taking a shower, and changing my clothes, I find the rest of the guys in the study. Lucas’ consort, Ava, is straddling him, dry-humping him on the sofa. Jackson is scrolling on his phone, completely checked out as one of the Debs strokes his hair, and Christian is on the phone with someone.

They all turn to look at me as I walk in.

“Out,” I say to the girls with a flick of my chin. They pop up instantly and scurry out of the room, the door clicking shut behind them.

“Well.” I widen my stance and shove my hands into my pockets. “It looks like we’ve gotten what we wanted, so the question now is, what happens next?”

Lucas lifts his hands. “What else is there to do? Mission accomplished, right?”

I narrow my eyes at him. Is he really this dense? “What happens with Lux, jackass? Her friend was killed just a few steps from this campus, and she still seems determined to find the killer. Also,” I say with an angry flourish, “let’s not forget, you motherfuckers initiated her into our society, and that’s not something that can be undone.”

Christian shrugs. “Pull her funding. Without the scholarship, she’d have to leave, right? There’s no way she could afford tuition without it.”

“Her scholarship is funded through the academic year,” I say flatly. “The money has already been transferred to her scholarship account.”

Lucas shrugs. “We could have her expelled for some bullshit reason.”

I push out a breath, already knowing the guys are going to give me shit for what I’m about to say. “I think we should let her stay,” I say. “She could be pregnant, for fuck’s sake.”

It’s just an excuse for me to keep her around, and I know it’s fucking selfish, but there’s still a part of me that’s delusional enough to believe I can hide the truth from her forever.

“She can’t stay,” Lucas says, reading the direction of my thoughts. “You’re not her fucking prince, Roman. You’re the devil in disguise, and you fucking know it. We’ve done things. Things we can’t come back from. And the second she sees the real you, she’s going to fucking despise you…”

I’d argue with that, but deep down, I know he’s right.

The devil never gets the girl in the end.