Chapter 16

“What happened?”Lux asks, struggling to keep up with me as we leave Exeter House.

“My dad is a cunt,” I bark. It’s not her fault, and I know I shouldn’t be taking shit out on her, but damn. My dad fucking pisses me off.

My car is still out front, and the valet hands me the keys, while another opens the door for Lux. We’re on the road home when Lux finally breaks the tense silence.

“So…are you going to tell me what happened with your dad?” she asks.

I tighten my hold on the steering wheel, my jaw tight, still lit about the resistance my dad put up to helping James, his own fucking stepson. “I need my dad’s help with something, and he said he’d ‘think about it.’ The fucking cunt.”

There’s another stretch of silence, and I realize I’m being an asshole right now. I glance over at Lux, who is just staring straight ahead awkwardly. I reach over and place my hand on her thigh. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to take this out on you. I appreciate you coming with me.”

“It’s okay,” she says, glancing at me with a tight smile. “So, does ‘I’ll think about it’ mean no? Or do you think he’ll actually consider whatever it is?”

I push out a breath. “Oh, he’ll do it. He just wants me to know he’s the one in control.”

“How do you know he’ll do it in the end?”

I glance over at her again. “Because I took you’re advice. I laid out the benefits for him, and if I know anything about my dad, it’s that he’ll always do what’s best for himself. Always.”

“Your dad sounds like an absolute peach,” she says with a smile. “It’s a shame I didn’t get to meet him.”

“You not having to shake his hand was a mercy. Trust me.”

She makes a little hmph sound. “So, um, not to change the topic, but I wanted to talk to you about something…”

Why does my stomach knot up when she says that? “Okay,” I say casually. “What’s up?”

“I was thinking…” There’s a long pause, and I can tell she’s anxious about telling me whatever she’s going to tell me. “...I want to be initiated into the society.”

I tear my gaze off the road briefly to look at her, just to make sure she’s not fucking with me. She looks sincere, though, and that’s when my pulse starts racing. “What? Lux, no—”

“Before you object, hear me out,” she says. “I’m never going to be fully accepted into the society until I go through initiation. You have no idea what it feels like to be on the outside, no one really trusting you.”

“Lux,” I say firmly. “You don’t need to go through initiation to be accepted. As my consort, you have all the power and privilege of my name.”

“I don’t, though,” she says. “No one trusts me.”

I don’t say anything to that, because it’s true. Very few people know about her past, so it’s not that. It’s because she’s an outsider, and she’s been given privileges that are typically only afforded to fully-fledged members. So, yeah, she’s right, if she were to go through the initiation ritual, she’d get a much warmer welcome. But just the thought of what she’d be subjected to in that ritual fills me with fucking rage.

We pull up to the house, and I park in the back. Cutting the engine, I turn to face her. “Lux, the answer is no,” I say firmly. “You’re not doing it.”

Her eyes narrow, and I see that all-too-familiar streak of defiance surface. “Roman, seriously, how bad could it be?”

I take her chin between my thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up, so she’s looking directly at me. I need her to hear what I’m saying. “Lux, every member is beholden to the society, a servant to it. Even me. And the society has done some fucked-up things. You don’t want to be a part of it, Lux. You don’t.”

She stares straight through me, unflinching. “You’ve already made me a part of it, Roman.”

“You can still get out. But once you’re a member, it’s for life. There’s no exit strategy, unless you’re kicked out, and you saw how well that went for Tyler.”

Her throat moves as she swallows, but she doesn’t back down. “In the end, it’s not really your decision, is it?”

I release her chin, frustrated by her constant defiance. She has no idea what fresh hell she’s asking for. “Actually, it is. Even if you manage to get nominated, all four Sacred Sons have to vote you in.”

There’s a brief flicker of disappointment in her eyes a second before it’s replaced with that same defiance from a second earlier. “I’m sure there’s a loophole. There’s a loophole for everything.”

I shake my head. “This is my kingdom, baby, and my power is absolute. There are no loopholes.”

She just shrugs and glances away. “Why are you so opposed to me going through the initiation? Is it dangerous?”

“Yes.” But not in the way she’s assuming. If she ever actually went through with it, then I’d have to kill some motherfuckers, and then we’d be in a whole new world of hurt. “Now, let’s go inside, order takeout, and binge something in bed.”

She smiles at the suggestion, and I know I’ve got her. Lux would never turn down a night in bed. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over.”

The hell it isn’t. She may think she can sway me, but there’s no way she’s going through with that initiation. No fucking chance in hell.

We end up ordering pizza, and watching Return of the Jedi. The opening credits alone fill me with so much nostalgia. James and I used to watch the Star Wars movies together when we were kids, and even later when we were older.

When we were kids, we both had Star Wars sheets and everything. We’d find long thin pieces of driftwood on the beach and pretend they were lightsabers. I always wanted to be red, but James would never let me. God, the fights we’d have over that.

The end credits are rolling when I glance over and notice Lux is fast asleep. Switching off the movie, I turn toward her. I can’t resist touching her, so I reach out and brush my thumb over the soft curve of her cheek. She’s so damn beautiful, just looking at her makes my chest hurt.

It’s so strange how life works, how one girl can flip your entire world upside down in a matter of weeks. I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone, let alone someone who is responsible for so much destruction in my life…

Covering her with the thick comforter, I tuck her in, then get up. I’m a night owl, and it’s way too early for me to go to sleep. I should take a shower, and do a little schoolwork. There’s a general perception out there that my grades are just given to me, but the truth is, I work damn hard for them. I don’t see much point in being given a degree. There isn’t enough money in the world that can fix stupidity. The only cure for it is knowledge.

And anyway, I’ve always enjoyed a challenge, craved it even. Maybe that’s part of my attraction to Lux. Most women are enigmas, in general, but Lux is next-level, and she’s a puzzle I’m dying to solve.

As I’m walking into the bathroom to take a quick shower, I spot Lux’s purse with what looks like the corner of a receipt sticking out, and it reminds me that I need to transfer money to her account for the cost of the birth control she picked up. I have no idea what that kind of thing costs, so I reach over and pluck the receipt out of her purse, hoping it’s the one I need.

I look down at the receipt, and I’m immediately alarmed. There are three items on this receipt, dated today, this morning, and all three items are labeled “PREG TEST.”

I blink, re-reading it.

The fuck? Is this a joke?

I storm over to the bed and rip the blankets off Lux. She’s lying on her back, hand on her stomach, head turned toward me, still fast asleep. She looks so peaceful, her long lashes resting on the curve of her cheek, her pedal-pink lips pursed slightly. She must be exhausted, and after the last couple of weeks she’s had, and I can’t blame her. But to not mention buying pregnancy tests earlier today?

My mind is cast back to her reaction when I asked her about the doctor’s appointment. Her response was guarded, and even at the time, I knew something was off, but I couldn’t imagine what she could be hiding, so I let it go.

Fuck.

With my heart pounding, my gaze wanders her face, to her breasts, then still lower to the swell of her belly, her hand resting on it protectively. Could she actually be pregnant?

The kind thing would be to wait and talk to her in the morning about this, but I’ve never been accused of being kind.

Reaching out, I shake her shoulder until she moans, and tries to shift away from me. “Lux, wake up,” I say firmly.

Another moan and she shifts again.

“Lux,” I say again, more firmly this time, continuing to shake her shoulder.

Blinking open her eyes, her brows are knit together in confusion as she lifts her head slightly and looks up at me. “What? What’s wrong?”

I hold the receipt up. “What is this?” My voice is firm, but not angry, because, who knows, there might be a reasonable explanation for this. I pray to God there is.

Frowning, she grabs the receipt from my hand and looks down at it. Her expression shifts from annoyance to confusion to sheer terror. When she looks back up at me, her green eyes are wide, and I can practically see her mind working a mile a minute, trying to think up a reasonable response.

“Um…” Her throat moves as she swallows, and her gaze drops back down to the receipt in her hand… “This is…for Wyn. She needed me to buy tests for her.”

She’s a terrible liar.

“Lux,” I say evenly, crossing my arms over my chest. Maybe I should be more gentle about this, but I’m pissed she tried to keep something this serious from me. “What happened at the doctor’s office this morning? Did they tell you something that you should share with me?”

She scoots to the edge of the bed and tosses the receipt onto the nightstand, then begins rubbing her temples like she wasn’t prepared to have this conversation with me. “Yeah, um. Okay, so the doctor couldn’t put me on birth control, because she gave me a pregnancy test—I guess that’s routine—and it came back inconclusive.”

Inconclusive.

Okay.

I don’t know how to feel about that. “So that’s it, she doesn’t know? I thought these things were pretty straightforward.”

“Apparently blood tests are more accurate, so they took some blood, and we should have the results in two days,” she says in a rush, like she’s trying to rip the bandage off by telling me off quickly.

Two days? Fuck. That might as well be two lifetimes.

God, my heart is beating so fast, I’m starting to feel lightheaded. “And the pregnancy tests…?” I ask.

She stands up, and folds her arms over her chest, then glances down at her feet. She can’t even look me in the eye, which isn’t a good sign. “Um, yeah, I went over to Wyn’s place and took them. Two were negative…and one…” She pulls in a stuttering breath. “...had a very faint line.”

I don’t even know what any of this means. Aren’t pregnancy tests these days pretty simple? It’s a yes or a no, right? I reach over and grab her chin, forcing her to look at me. Unspent tears fill her eyes, and every ounce of anger inside me melts away instantly.

Damn, the hold this girl has on me.

Pulling her into my arms, I rest my chin on the top of her head. “Lux, you should have told me.” She buries her face in my chest, and I hold her a little tighter. “I’m here. You’re not doing any of this alone.”

She nods against my chest as she starts to cry, her entire body trembling. “I thought you would be angry at me.”

I might be a fucking asshole, but that statement surprises me. Pulling her back, so I can look into her eyes, I ask her, “We did this together. Why would I be angry at you?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs as tears stream down her face, and again, she glances away, avoiding my gaze. “Because I wasn’t on birth control?”

Again, I grab her chin and force her to look at me. “Lux, you don’t need to hide anything from me. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together.”

She nods. “So…how are you feeling about all this?”

I blow out a breath. It’s hard to know how to feel when I have no clue what we’re actually facing. I’m more worried about Lux right now, and the stress this—and everything else—is causing her.

“I feel like we need a second opinion,” I say. “And a faster blood test…”