Chapter 18

18

MERRITT

O h my God. What the hell am I doing?

I was sitting straddled on top of Kannon, his strong chest beneath my hands. The look in his eyes said exactly what he was thinking. The room had become too quiet, too still and the laughter that we had shared just moments ago now seemed like a distant memory.

Swallowing hard, I looked down at him. His eyes were fixed on mine, filled with an intensity I hadn’t expected. Suddenly, our teenage years came flooding back to me. All the teasing, the laughing, the closeness we had always shared and never fully acknowledged.

Oops. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

I stared down at him and had a whole conversation in my head. I could see him trying to decide what he should do as well. We were at a crossroads. What we chose to do next could destroy our friendship. It would cross a line that couldn’t be un-crossed.

But were we really friends these days? It wasn’t like we talked a lot. We didn’t spend time together. Hell, we didn’t even live in the same state.

So why did this feel so monumental, so earth-shattering? It was as though we were standing on the edge of a massive cliff. One wrong step could send us spiraling into an abyss from which there was no return. This wasn’t a choice between friends and lovers. It was a choice between holding on to our past or diving headfirst into an uncertain future.

His chest rose and fell beneath my hands. He kept looking at my mouth. It was like he was screaming what he wanted, and I just had to take the leap. I could smell his cologne. Unable to help myself, or perhaps unwilling, I leaned down. He lifted his head from the floor to meet my lips with a kiss that was over a decade in the making. It was white hot, desperate, and out of control.

The kiss blurred our past and the present. Every unsaid word was poured into it. Shared glances, lingering touches, flirtatious banter, it all made sense now in retrospect. The kiss was our grand revelation. It was a long time coming even though we had both known it would likely be the death knell for our friendship.

His hands slid up my back, causing a shiver to run through me. They then moved to my hair, tangling in the strands. His touch was gentle but electrifying at once.

“Kannon,” I said against his lips, slightly breathless.

“Merritt,” he murmured back, his voice husky and low. There was no joke in his tone now, only raw desire. “What do you want?”

In response I kissed him again. This was okay. A little voice in the back of my head said I could make out with him. There was nothing wrong with that.

His hands moved to my hips. I let out a soft sigh against his lips, feeling his hardness under me. He was so good, it was almost sinful. Excitement filled me like hot fire, threatening to burn me to ash. Could I handle this? Could I handle him ?

“Stop thinking,” Kannon whispered against my lips, as if reading my thoughts.

I pulled back slightly, meeting his gaze. “How did you know?”

He gave me a lopsided grin, the Kannon grin that had always disarmed me. “You get this look, like you’re working on an explosive science experiment.”

I laughed then, feeling the tension evaporate. I didn’t know what to say. But maybe I didn’t need to say anything. Could I give myself a free pass to just enjoy the moment? My body knew what it wanted even if my brain didn’t.

I sank back down, resting my weight on him. My hair fell around us like a curtain. I braced my hands on either side of his head, slowly grinding down on him. My breath caught at the feeling of him against me. He groaned, his eyes closing in obvious pleasure.

The heat between us grew, reaching a fever pitch. It felt like an eternity since I’d last been this close to another person. It took all my willpower not to moan loudly and tell him exactly how much I wanted this, how much I needed him.

“Kannon,” I whispered against his lips as I nibbled them softly.

His hands slid up and down my back, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. He was too good at this. The wine may have helped with our inhibitions, but there was no denying the chemistry that always simmered between us.

“Tell me what you want, Merritt,” He breathed against my ear and neck before nipping gently on my lobe sending a shiver down my spine. “I’m all yours.”

That was all it took for me to lose control completely. Raising myself up slightly, I stared down at him with a challenge in my eyes that he couldn’t resist. “I want you,” I finally admitted.

He sat up, shocking me and impressing me with his power. Then he flipped me over and it was his turn to hover over me. He stared down at me with such intensity I felt my insides turning to mush.

He kissed me once again, taking over the situation. I was thrilled to give him total control.

He moved slowly at first, allowing me to feel every inch of his heavy body over mine. It was far better than any dream I’d ever had. Shockwaves of pleasure raced through me. I could barely breathe, but in a good way. This was real—he was real. We were no longer two friends exploring uncharted territory but two people discovering each other in a wholly new and intimate way.

His lips traced a hot path down my neck. My eyes fluttered closed as I gripped onto the back of his shirt. His mouth found the cluster of sensitive nerves just below my ear.

“Are you sure?” he whispered before his tongue slid lower. “If you want to stop, just say the word. Because if we keep going, I won’t be able to stop.”

He slid his hand down my belly and came to a stop at the waistband of my jeans. He flicked open the button and paused.

“Please.” It was the only word I could manage.

I trusted him completely.

Without another word, he undid my jeans and pushed them down. I kicked off my shoes and worked to get them off my ankles. He pushed up my sweater and left me lying on the floor in my bra and panties. He was looking at me with a raw hunger. For a moment, he just stared, drinking in the sight of me. I felt naked under his intense gaze, not because of my lack of clothing but because he seemed to be seeing the very essence of me. It was an intimacy I’d never experienced before.

“God, Merritt.” His eyes flickered up to meet mine. “You’re so beautiful.” The words were barely a whisper.

I felt a blush cover my body from toes to face. I was not used to compliments from him. Kannon had seen me in all sorts of states but never like this. He kissed my belly while his hand slid along the inside of my thigh. He trailed the back of his knuckles across my panties. Suddenly, he jerked them to the side and exposed me. A second later, he was pushing a finger inside me. I let out a moan of approval.

“Kannon,” I gasped, a rush of pleasure washing over me as he expertly moved his finger. He looked into my eyes, the untamed passion in his gaze was almost more than I could handle. It fueled my own desire.

His other hand slid under me and quickly found the catch on my bra. When it sprang free, he let out a triumphant little sound that made me giggle even as my body writhed under him. He pulled the bra away and his gaze followed the curve of my breasts.

“Lift your hips,” he commanded softly. Obliging him, I did as he asked and he quickly slid off my panties. His breath hitched as he took in the full sight of me. I lay there bare for him with a coiling desire twisting pleasantly in my stomach.

“Beautiful,” he murmured again, his fingers tracing the contours of my body as if he was memorizing them.

I shivered, not from cold but from the raw intensity in his eyes. I suddenly felt exposed. Sitting up, I reached for the hem of his shirt and pushed it up.

He pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. His muscular chest was on full display. I let my fingers trace down the path of hair that led from his navel and disappeared under the waistband of his jeans.

“I want to see you too,” I murmured. My hands were shaky, but I managed to undo the buckle and zipper.

With a swift move, he kicked off his jeans and underwear, revealing his body in all its glory. My breath caught in my throat as I took in every inch of him. He was beautiful, strong and masculine. Every muscle was defined. His body was as breathtaking to look at as was his face. I had seen him shirtless plenty of times, but this was different. He was a whole fucking man.

I ran my fingers over his chest, then down to his abs, marveling at the feel of him under my fingertips. A low, husky sound escaped him. I tentatively reached out to touch him. He was already hard for me. The realization sent another rush of pleasure through me. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me while pushing me back to the floor.

His fingers moved between my legs. He pushed one finger inside me and then two. He knew just what I needed. His other hand found my bare breast, massaging it gently before taking the nipple into his mouth. I gasped, arching into him instinctively.

“Kannon,” I whimpered, desperate for more.

He continued to tease me expertly, his tongue swirling around the tip of my nipple even as he took me to new heights with his fingers. Suddenly, it happened. The world exploded in a rush of pleasure so intense it left me gasping for air.

“Fuck,” I cried out feeling him hit my sweet spot with his thumb over and over again as he pinched my nipple between his teeth. It was too much but not enough. We were both breathing hard now and it was becoming clear that we were way past the point of no return.

He pulled away and reached for his jeans. I lay gasping and twitching on the floor with the aftermath of my orgasm. I watched as he grabbed a condom from his jeans pocket. He tore it open with his teeth and rolled it on eagerly.

Once again, he was over me. He kept his weight on his elbows as he looked down at me once again. I could see his chest heaving up and down. “Are you sure?” he asked, giving me one last chance.

I nodded, unable to find my voice, my body vibrating with anticipation. With a deep breath, he pushed into me slowly. I winced as he stretched me. He paused, letting me adjust to him.

“Are you okay?” His voice was gentle, laced with concern. Sweat was already making his forehead glisten. I could see the sheen of perspiration covering his chest like he was oiled up for a magazine photo shoot.

“Yes,” I breathed out, nodding once again. He continued to push deeper, inch by agonizing inch. It turned out he had a lot to give. Soon he was buried all the way in me.

There was a brief moment of stillness as we both adjusted, our bodies becoming one. His eyes were locked on mine as he gently started to move. He began slowly, easing out before pushing back into me again. Each thrust was slow and measured. Our bodies found a rhythm together. His movements were precise and controlled, building me back up effortlessly. My eyes closed as waves of pleasure flooded through me.

“Look at me,” he commanded gruffly, his voice just a whisper against my ear.

I groaned and opened my eyes, locking onto his as his body moved with mine. The sight of his pleasure mirrored in his gaze only amplified mine. This was better than any dream. Better than any of the many, many fantasies I had about him over the years.

“Kannon,” I gasped again, my fingers digging into his skin as he thrust deep within me once more. He sucked in a harsh breath, his eyes flickering closed for a moment before snapping back open. The muscles in his arm bunched as he held himself above me, the sight of him only adding to the fire that he’d stoked within me.

I moved beneath him, guided by instinct and the sheer force of the desire that was coursing through me. My hips moved to meet each of his thrusts. His face twisted like he was in excruciating pain. I understood the feeling. I felt it as well.

His pace quickened, and suddenly he was moving faster, harder. The fierce pace was breathtaking, leaving me gasping and clawing at his back, my fingers digging into the hard muscles there. Each thrust was stronger than the last.

“You’re amazing, Merritt,” he growled.

My body shattered into a million pieces. I was certain this was what a star felt like when it exploded into a supernova. My body convulsed around him, every nerve ending on fire.

He followed me over the edge, his powerful body tensing above mine as he climaxed. His face contorted in pleasure, but his eyes never left mine. And then he collapsed on top of me. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, breathing heavily, as I cradled him close.