Chapter 11

11

Ben

W hy did I feel like a stupid teenager again? Honestly, this was completely unnatural.

Yes – I had thought about him.

Yes – I had wondered what he was doing and how he was doing.

Yes – I had a lot of regrets about what happened between us.

Yes – I had thought about him more often than I liked to admit.

What was it about your first crush that stayed under your skin and at your very core – your essence? I know I wasn't the only one. Other friends of mine had dealt with the same thing. I mean, it's an entire trope in movies. Someone returns to their hometown to go to their high school reunion, and romance rekindles after twenty years because it has never really gone away. This was the same thing.

I was living in a Vince Vaughn movie. It was humiliating.

I had a great life and a great job that I actually enjoyed most of the time. Was it fulfilling? No, but I really liked the travel and the money. I didn't mind the work.

Not true. Why was I lying to myself? I had been lying to myself for too long. Another lie for the great Ben!

I was minding this work, which might explain why I wasn't really trying. I told the acquisitions department that I hadn't been able to accomplish anything on the ground, and they were sending out a last offer with a ten percent increase, which was actually a lot of money. Some would cave and sell. Others, like Percy, would not.

I needed to tell him the truth, but I didn't want to ruin everything. What we had was tentative and could fall apart too easily.

I wanted him, and it wasn't just a ghost of our past. The moment I saw him again, it all flooded back.

And fuck… That kiss. My toes fucking curled as my tongue pressed against his – the way his hand reached up and grabbed my hair. The need we both had bursting out of us. This wasn't closure – it couldn't be. It was rebirth, and I would not ruin that for anything.

How could someone you haven't seen in ten years make you think about throwing your life away to start all over again, as long as he would be a part of it? It was stupid. But it was also right.

I just didn't know how to tell him.

I opened the door to the bakery right before they were about to close and shut it quietly behind me.

"You what? You kissed him." Tammy Sue was never known for subtlety, and her voice carried. Percy was talking about me.

"I… Well, he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and…"

"Did you cream your jeans? I bet you totally jizzed all in them."

"I did not! But I did have to hide my erection as I ran away like a total spaz. I am so uncool." I had never felt so cool in my entire life.

"You are so sweet. You've never been cool, Perce. I just can't believe you kept this from me all day. I should be mad."

I cleared my throat.

"Jesus, we have a customer." Tammy Sue laughed.

"Quit swearing," Percy quickly ordered in a hushed tone.

Tammy Sue walked through the swinging door and smirked when she saw me. "Well, well, well… Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. If you hurt him, I will literally murder you and enjoy prison."

I held up my hands. "You can be really scary when you want to be."

Percy opened the door, and it bumped into Tammy Sue's back. "Fuck, Perce. That hurt."

"Language," he said as Tammy Sue moved out of the way. He opened the door and walked through. "Oh… Oh, God! Fuck my actual life. How much of that did you hear?"

I grinned wickedly. "What? I just got here."

"Uh-huh…" Tammy Sue crossed her arms, and Percy turned the most adorable shade of red—almost matching his hair.

"Why… are you… uh… why are you here?" Percy muttered as he ran his hands through his hair. He was very cute when he was nervous. "I didn't know you were… uh…"

I took a step forward. "Coffee? We said coffee. I am here to collect ."

"Oh," he sighed and looked around the bakery. "I… I'm pretty busy."

"You did agree, Percy." I took another step. I was not taking no for an answer. We needed this. We had to clear the air if anything real might come of it.

"Tammy Sue and I were just cleaning up, and we still have some things to do to prepare for…"

"I can do that," she cut him off quickly. "Looks like you have a date."

"You're not helping." He shook his head.

I walked up to the counter and leaned across it. "Percy, please? I am horribly uncaffeinated."

His deep sigh told me that I had won. "Fine. Coffee." He undid his branded apron and slid it over his head. Tammy Sue held out her hand.

"Have fun, Perseus," she whispered.

Percy stepped through the counter's opening and looked at me. "Are you sure you didn't… er… you just got here?"

"Do you like cream in your coffee? I do." I smirked, and Percy dropped his head. The blush exploded all over his face again. "Besides, I've always thought you were super cool."

"You had a shitty way of showing it," Tammy Sue muttered. "But apologies have been accepted."

I looked at her. "I know I wasn't nice to you, too, Tammy Sue. I am sorry. I was a dick to everyone because I was so fucking pathetic."

She pushed her finger into my shoulder from across the counter. "Well, that's true – knowing what we know now. But still, remember what I told you."

"I do not want you going to prison for murder. I promise," I lied, knowing that my just being in town could hurt Percy. I had to find a way to explain everything to him.

"You ready?" I offered him my arm, and he looked at me, trying to figure out what to do. He settled for putting his hands in his pocket.

"Am I?" God, he was cute when he was flustered. I was glad that I could be the one to cause him such confusion. He was so fucking beautiful – like porcelain. And those blue eyes that just saw right through you. He had always been that way. He had always known me, even when I refused to know myself.

"I hope you are." I reached down and took his hand out of his pocket and placed it in mine. "I have a plan."

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" He muttered as we walked out of the bakery and into the setting sun. His fingers tightened on mine as we walked to my car. Step by step, I would see where this might lead. I owed it to him, but more importantly, I owed it to myself—a second chance at getting this right.

Nothing would stop me.