25. EDDIE

Chapter twenty-five

EDDIE

M ax's body lowered against mine, our skin pressed together, sweaty and hot. Gradually, he slipped out of my body, and we lay there, him breathing hard, little droplets of perspiration falling from his head to mine.

His hands had been holding shoulders right before he ejaculated, but as he fell against me, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, I felt his fingertips trace along my arms. I twitched at his touch, and then our lips met in a tender kiss. I could feel our hearts, our chests pressed together, beating in a rhythm.

Touching, caressing, the bond between us seemed so strong, and then he let out a sweet little laugh, his mouth cradling in my neck.

We said nothing else for a while; we just lay there like that. The warmth of his skin against mine felt so good, almost nourishing, like I was feeding off his presence, his masculinity. I felt his sweat, his heat, and his penis still half-hard against me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

He sighed contentedly.

"Just… all of this."

Eventually, he rolled to one side, and as he did so, he pulled me over against his body so that I nestled in his embrace.

I felt alive, truly alive, truly myself – I had understood what it was I wanted. This: I wanted this.

Max kissed me again, his lips gentle yet filled with passion. Our mouths opened, and I was submitting myself to his kisses.

After a few seconds, he pulled away again from me.

"Do you remember when I caught you with my underwear when I lived at your mom's house?"

My cheeks flushed, and I felt embarrassed that he even recalled the memory. I had not.

"What, you remember that?"

"I remembered it recently. It just came back to me. I think I had blocked it out."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I hadn't known how to make sense of it. But when you came back now, I was so excited, despite the circumstances. I realized that maybe we had wanted a similar thing back then but I just couldn't conceive of it, somehow."

He let out a long, slow breath. He paused for a moment, still lying on top of me, talking in that affectionate, intimate way lovers do, naked, without disguises.

"When that memory came back, it all fitted together, and it was what we had felt for each other maybe all along. I was waiting for a sign from you. I got that on the camping trip."

"I am so embarrassed," I said, partly as a joke, but he remained serious.

"Did you know that you liked me back then?"

"Yes, I was in love with you, but we were just two teens living together, as friends, more as brothers, you know. I wasn't ready for anything like that then. Besides, you were living in my mom's house. You were my best friend."

Max's eyes widened.

"Are you ready for it now?"

I was looking at him very directly.

"What do you want?"

"Want?" he asked.

"Want to happen. Want from me."

"Women see me as a type, the one they say says, ‘Don't fall in love with me,' but what I want is intimacy, trust. I want to connect physical intimacy to, like, a personal, almost spiritual, intimacy. I don't think I have ever had that, not really."

Max's gaze softened, his eyes searching mine.

"I want to give you that," I said.

Then, without another word, I reached my mouth up and kissed him, the skin of our lips connecting tenderly. We started making love again.