Chapter 2

Shepherd

People may call me a grump, and I should wear that name like a badge of honor. I should be proud of my grumpiness. It took me a while to master the art of being a grinch. Sure, I used to love the holidays.

All I want to do is sit on my porch, sip my bitter coffee, and be left alone. Can't a guy just have a little peace once in a while. Guess not, because here she comes. My annoyingly- hot neighbor. Why does she have to look so good?

I stare at her a beat too long, picturing how I'd like to bend her over my porch railing and…

And she's walking over.

Fuck.

Now I'm gonna have to make small talk about some neighborhood event I'll inevitably decline to be a part of.

I sit in my chair. I'm gettin' in a sip of this coffee before the madness begins. It's my porch and I'll do as I please. In hindsight, I realize that I should have met her halfway down the driveway to be polite. Whatever.

She's waving at me. Ugh.

"Shepherd." Her voice is all high-pitched and stereotypically feminine. It goes right along with the smile and the bouncy hair. I raise a hand at her with a tight-lipped smile. One more sip. I have time for one more before she gets up to the porch.

She's looking around at my lawn, her brown eyes narrowing when she spots my garbage can. Oh, that's why she's here. Her damn decorations that shine so bright I can't get any sleep are stashed in there.

"You stole my decorations." She parks her hands on her curvy hips.

I've never noticed how pretty she is. "I did," I say as a statement. Because I did, so what?

She appears shocked. Like she can't believe I just admitted to taking her decorations. "I can't believe you. I want them back." She holds out her hand like I could possibly fit all the decorations into her tiny palm.

I stare at her hand, and then glance over at my garbage cans. "Honestly, they look better in the trash."

She stomps her little foot, and it's cute. It makes me smile, but I tamp it down. "Those decorations cost a lot of money, you know."

I shrug. When is this conversation going to end so I can get back to my coffee? "I'll write you a check." I've never been one for paying for Christmas decor, but if it gets her off my porch, I'll pay anything. I just want to be left alone. My home is my sanctuary.

"I don't want your money. I want my decorations back." Her face turns red with anger, and it makes me smile. I'm finding I like riling her up. She glances around at my lawn. "You haven't raked your leaves either?" She makes it sound like I committed a felony, "Shep, you could slip and fall, or someone else could. Ya know, Bill down the block has a leaf blower. I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

I put my coffee down on the small table by the door, but I don't get up. "My lawn's fine, Felicity."

She sighs and looks around some more. "Really?"

"Yeah." I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans and sniff. "Really."

"Ok," she says, taking another step forward. "I'm gonna just get my decorations and get out of your way."

I squirm in my chair. "Like hell you are."

"Oh, what? You're holding my decorations hostage now?"

I shove my hands further into my pocket. "Something like that."

She huffs and puffs, and it must make me some sadistic fuck because I'm getting off on her agitation. "You know what you are?"

"What?"

"You're a grinch. You've stolen all my decor just like a grinch." Her voice is high, borderline panicked, and I stand from my chair.

"Calm down. Sit down, let me get you some coffee." I give her as much of a smile as I can offer right now. "I'll get you your decorations." I can't very well keep something she paid good money for.

"Fine." She crosses her arms over her chest, and it pushes her tits together. Sure, she's wearing a sweater and a jacket over that, but I've got a great imagination. And I'm definitely imagining what Felicity's breasts look like underneath all the layers of clothing.

"I'll be right back." I head inside to get her some coffee.