Chapter 15

Tillie

"Baby girl, I don't think now is a good time to go out. What if something happens to you?!" Logan thunders in sexy Italian under his breath as he paces back and forth in Dalton's club bar while Hell's Devils watch him warily.

I don't blame them. Logan looks like he's had better days. His hair is a mess, the usually perfect strands are disheveled, as if he's been running his hands through it constantly. Seeing his iron-pressed, white button-down untucked from his pants and the top few buttons undone makes me feel bad about what I'm going to do today to him, but it's necessary. I need to trust him, and it's the only way for me to see if he's with me the whole way.

"This is why it's the perfect time to go out. We can't do this day and night, Lo. This isn't living, and I'll be damned if I'm stuck in a cage again. Either you're coming or we leave without you." I fold my arms across my chest, shifting in Dalton's lap as he adjusts me until my ass presses down over his hard cock.

I don't know how they do it, walking around with straining, rock-hard cocks most of the time. Does it hurt whenever they have to tuck it into the waistband of their pants? Doesn't it get uncomfortable having that thing pressing down their thighs like a third leg? I shudder at those thoughts, thanking Jesus for granting me with a vagina. Small miracles, I guess.

"Calm the hell down, bro. You need this. We need the break… You need a break," Dalton says in a gravelly voice with no room to argue. "Besides, the Hell's Devils and Dom's gang will be watching the area for any threats. This is happening."

"Fuck me," Logan groans and starts to reach for the whiskey in front of me before I quickly swipe it away, throwing back the whole drink without a grimace.

Fuck, that burns! What the hell is this stuff? Dragon's fire? My chest is on fire.

"No. You aren't drinking anymore. You went through two bottles of wine last night and you look like shit. Consider this our date, Lo." I don't hold back, giving Logan shit just as he does to me.

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you? Okay, baby girl. I'm going to go shower and get presentable for our date. You know, the one I didn't even get to ask you on," Logan grumbles and scowls at the floor, but a faint smirk tugs at his lips.

"Stop being a big baby. You get grumpy when you're not relaxed, and if you're a good boy, I'll make it worth your while later tonight," I purr seductively, tipping Logan's chin up with my index finger until he's looking me in the eyes.

Dalton nearly spits his drink out just as he was taking a swallow of beer. He whispers holy fuck under his breath at our display, watching with rapt attention. Usually, Logan is the one throwing the shots, being bossy as hell and demanding, but seeing his body relax under my touch and his eyes darkening with lust, it would seem he wants to let go of that control that he holds so close.

Guilt is eating me up alive, and I hate the feeling. I wish I could just hold him again like last night, being safe in his arms, letting him know it's going to be okay, but I can't. Tonight is going to be the beginning of us or the end. I won't lie, I'm a tad excited to play with him though.

"I'll hold you to that," Logan says, leaning across the table and kissing my lips delicately. I'm wondering if he knows how fragile we are right now.

One small mistake and it will shatter us. After tonight, I plan on making sure that nothing can ever come between us again. He's about to meet psycho Tillie.

Logan pulls back and stands with a stretch, groaning before he walks away towards the back of the club and Dalton's room.

"Are you going to tell me what you're planning? Don't try to lie, I felt your body tense up as he kissed you." Dalton rubs my leg over my jeans and his other hand spreads out across my waist, his thumb gliding back and forth over the exposed skin between my pants and shirt. "I know you don't trust easily, and I don't blame you. Sometimes I wonder how we got so lucky to have you because we sure as shit don't deserve you. What I'm trying to say is, I'll stand back and let you do what you have to, but just be careful. For both of your sakes."

Dalton shocks me into silence, the low grumble of his tone warming my heart as he kisses my temple and lifts me off his lap. He sets me back in his seat and is about to step away but I grab his wrist. He looks over his shoulder with a raised brow, a question on his face.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me, baby." My throat grows tight and it takes everything in me not to cry. "You deserve every piece of me. It takes a real man to know his wrongs."

"Fuck, little bitch. You are killing us." Dalton's expression is pained as he spins back around and crouches in front of me, grabbing my chin between his fingers.

His lips move softly against mine before deepening the kiss, gliding over my mouth with a passion that lights my body on fire. It's hard and almost shy of desperate, as if he can't get enough of me. I know the feeling. It's like this every time I'm around my guys. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and nips just as he pulls away with a serious expression.

"I'm going to need you later. Not right now because I have a feeling you're going to need your strength tonight, and you probably don't want to be walking funny." Dalton chuckles at my heated expression before standing and walking away while whistling—the cocky fucker.

I giggle, actually giggle like a schoolgirl, and take a deep breath as I close my eyes. Life is funny, you literally never know where it's going to lead you… Mine has taken me for a wild ride with some real bullshit but it's not so bad now. I mean, it can still be shitty some days, like yesterday at the auction. At least I wasn't alone, and afterwards, it just proved that I'm never going to be alone again. I have five sexy as hell, protective men that love me.

Like I said, life isn't so bad.

"What has you smiling like that, sugar plum?" Tey startles me as he whispers in my ear and makes grabby hands when my wide eyes meet his.

"Jesus Christ! Tey! Don't sneak up on me like that." I laugh as he continues making grabby hands as he bends down and throws me over his shoulder.

My hair swings in front of my face, blocking my view as he walks out of the bar area and down a hallway until he stops at a closed door. Plus, I get to watch his tight ass in black jeans while just hanging around.

"We have two presents for you, sweets," Tey says excitedly, smacking my butt and squeezing before bending to set me down.

The room spins for a second, and I'm pretty sure my face is red as I grip Tey's forearms to steady myself.

"We?" I ask, staring into his gorgeous, bright blue eyes.

"Pet." Nicky presses against my back, his soft but deep voice making me shiver. "Here, let us help you put this dress on."

I lean my head back onto his shoulder, loving the feel of his minty, hot breath on my neck as I close my eyes. I don't bother questioning what dress or what they're planning, because I'm deliriously happy at the moment. This must be what love drunk means.

"Lift," Tey whispers, as if he feels this too, the calming and easy way we just fit together.

He taps my wrists and I raise them over my head while he grabs the hem of my tank top, slowly dragging it up my body until I hear the fabric dropping onto the floor. I smile when I hear Tey's low inhale and the pleasing hum he lets out under his breath as he takes me in. I didn't bother wearing a bra today, just my jeans and pink tank top. I feel Nicky's rough hands grip my hips, kneading his fingers into my flesh before sliding towards my jeans. He unsnaps the button and drags the zipper down with a slowness that is killing me, desire burning low in my stomach like a struck match. I shimmy my hips as he drags my jeans down, tugging them over my ass with a hard yank.

"This ass," Nicky praises, growling as he grabs each ass cheek, kneading the thickness of them in a bruising grip.

"One day I'm going to fuck these tits and coat you in my cum." Tey flicks his tongue piercing over my hard nipple, circling it in wet laps until he bites down with a tug.

"Please," I whimper, moaning wantonly in my throat from the sensations and the deep ache in my still sore pussy from last night.

"Oh, how I love it when you beg, but I love it more when you're needy and desperate," Nicky's voice is downright dangerous, like setting my panties on fire dangerous, while he steps away from me and takes his body heat with him.

My eyes pop open in disbelief as Tey moves away too, but at least he's pouting like I am.

"Get back here and make me come," I order, glaring over my shoulder as my body is wound tightly with horniness and need.

"Here, pretty lady, lift your arms." Tey snickers, reaching behind me to grab something off the bed, and quickly shifts the silky material over my arms just as I obey, lifting them over my head without really thinking about it.

The dress glides over my body, barely feeling like I have anything over my skin. The feeling makes me shiver and as I glance down, I notice my nipples standing out like two beacons that say look at me against the red silk. My God. It's breathtaking and fits me like a glove, molding to my shape perfectly.

"Exquisite and all ours," Nicky breathes out against my neck, brushing his lips there for a second until he produces something in front of my eyes.

He holds up a syringe, filled with some type of liquid and flips it between his fingers as I narrow my eyes with suspicion.

"You aren't drugging me again," I calmly say, trying not to cross my arms over the silk material, so it doesn't wrinkle.

"Not for you, pet, but don't worry. If you want to be fucked while unconscious, I always have more where this came from," Nicky says in a deep, throaty voice that has me gulping loudly and sweating bullets.

Would I like that? Jesus. I don't even know, but I've done things I never thought I would like, so I think maybe I would.

Looking between the two of them and eyeing the syringe, I definitely like the idea of them using my body for their pleasure.

"Oh God. I'm so fucked," I mutter to myself, shaking my head to clear my thoughts before taking the syringe from his offering hand. "What is it and what's it for then?"

"It's to knock Logan out. He'll be conscious one second, and out like a light the next. It's just a little tranquilizer," Tey giggles like a schoolgirl with his eyes sparkling like he's staring at precious gems or his unicorn.

"Okaaay. I'll just put it—" I furrow my brow, thinking about where I can hide this thing, but I just shrug as I stuff it between the girls. Tey and Nicky smirk, eyeing my boobs that are squished together in this dress, high and perky. "Chop, chop, boys." I clap my hands and twirl to find a pair of black heels on the bed. "Let's do this. The wicked rest for no one, and I'm feeling very wicked tonight."

I giggle at their heated looks as I bend down to slip on the heels and practically sprint out of the room as Nicky growls and Tey makes grabby hands again. Anything with violence and danger turns them on… It doesn't help that I have breasts either.

"Get back here, brat! I changed my mind! I'm thinking your ass needs a spanking!" Nicky shouts after me, and I can hear both of their thudding steps behind me as I run as fast as I can in high heels.

"Suckers," I whisper to myself, smirking because that was my plan all along, but he can spank me later.

I'm on a mission to test Logan's love for me. I pray he doesn't fail, and I don't break.

I never want a man to break me again, and that thought alone steels my spine, more determined to go through with this, even if it breaks my heart.

"You want another drink, Mama?" Dom strokes my bare shoulder, making me shiver at the simplest touch.

Music pounds in sync with my heart while the soothing sound of the ocean plays in the background. The moon is high in the starry night sky, and bodies grind together on the dance floor with the seductive beat of the music as liquid courage flows through them. Since we arrived at the bar on the beach, something inside of me just settled. It's not crazy busy, almost relaxing with the low murmurs of voices, and the twinkling lights the bar has strung up makes it look like you're closer to the stars. I love it. I haven't danced yet because we headed straight to the outdoor couches near a gas fire pit the moment we spotted them right off the dance floor. My body keeps swaying to the beat of the music as I cuddle into Dom's side, the heat he's giving off helps with the slight breeze from the ocean.

"Yes. God. These margaritas are strong. I'm pretty sure it's just tequila, but it's so yummy." I hum in delight and sip up the last of my drink until I'm only sucking up air.

"Your cheeks are looking a little pink, cupcake." Tey chuckles as I lower the empty glass and stick my tongue out at him.

Of course he takes that as an invitation and leans forward from his seat next to me, his pierced tongue swiping up from my chin to cheek. Laughing, I wipe my cheek and quickly grab his chin before he can pull away. His blue eyes, that holds me captive every single time, shows so much love for me.

"I licked it so it's mine." My voice comes out raspy, practically a purr as I slowly dart out my tongue and lick his cheek as I turn his head to the side.

He groans deep in his throat and turns his face towards me when I let go of him and lean back into Dom's embrace once again.

"I'm all yours, peaches. You can lick any part of me you want." Tey winks, adjusting his cock in his pants, right in front of my face, before he turns around, heading right towards the tiki bar with a sexy swagger.

I watch his tight ass walk away in those black jeans that cling to all his muscles and look to my left to see Nicky watching him with a heated gaze too.

"I'm going to make sure he doesn't get into trouble or stab anyone," Nicky says as he clears his throat, standing from his chair and striding towards the bar with a sexy swagger.

More like stalks towards the bar, Tey in his sights, just waiting to be devoured. I shiver in pleasure, my thighs clenching, and I'm praying to fucking God that Nicky takes charge again. I would be most willing to sit back and watch the show, seeing all the delicious muscles on display as he ties up Tey.

"Cold?" Dom mutters with a cocky chuckle near my ear, his hand rubbing back and forth on my thigh where the dress has inched up, exposing my skin.

"No." I bite my lip and notice Dalton staring across at me, his eyes dipping down to trail over my body before meeting my gaze.

"You look cold, little bitch, but don't worry, daddy can warm you right up." He pats his lap, spreading his legs wider as he leans back in his seat while looking over the edge of his beer bottle as he takes a drink.

Dom sighs and brings my hand up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles before releasing me. I smile up at him, my fingers trailing over his short, black beard as I lean up to kiss him on his chin.

"It's going to take a while getting used to having to share your attention, but it's all worth it to see you happy, Mama," Dom says huskily, his eyes stalking me as I stand up and smooth my dress down.

"You'll always have me, papi." I wink, adding an extra sway in my hips for him as I round the fire pit and come to a stop between Dalton's spread legs.

I glance over to my right, looking at Logan as he swirls his whiskey in his glass while tilting his head back to look up at the moon. My stomach dips like a roller coaster, taking in his disheveled appearance and the five o'clock shadow he usually keeps clean. I ache for him, and everything he's feeling right now, I'm right there with him. I have to remind myself that what I'm doing is for the best. It's only going to make us stronger, if he makes the right choice. It takes everything inside me not to walk over to him, cuddle into his chest, and tell him that it's going to be okay. His pain is my pain, but until we settle the block between us, I'm going to have to keep my feelings locked down tight.

It's for the best.

I keep repeating that as I glance back at Dalton to see him already staring up at me under his lashes, his violet eyes bright in the reflection of the fire. I need a minute to breathe, to hold strong, because even now, my body is leaning towards Logan, and I'm seconds away from calling tonight off and just forgiving him.

"Dance with me," I choke out, desperate for a distraction.

Dalton tilts his head, looking back and forth between my gaze before he gives a single nod. My body sags in relief as he stands up, towering over me, and grabs my hand in his much bigger one.

"Always." He doesn't waste a second and spins me around right as we get to the dance floor so my back is to his front, swaying back and forth to the slow yet sexy beat of the music. "Relax. We have you, you're safe. Dom's guys are watching all the shadows move, and the club is right over there, on high alert in case something happens." Dalton points to his club members, all of them in leather vests hanging around the bar and seats while being alert as they drink.

"I'm trying. I won't let anything happen to you guys also," I vow hotly, knowing if it came down to it, I'd do whatever it takes to prevent my guys from being killed.

I feel the tension drain from my body as Dalton wraps his big arms around my waist, his hands spanning my whole stomach. Placing my palms over his, I give him a squeeze and drop my head back onto his collarbone. His body moves so easily with mine and he's graceful and light on his feet for a big guy.

"That's it, little bitch. You feel so damn good in my arms." His voice gets all gravelly and low, sending tingles down my spine as he drags me impossibly closer to his body until we're squeezed tight from head to toe.

One song leads into another and everything just melts away. This is what I've always missed. It's not about putting on a show or dancing seductively to capture someone's attention. This is just me dancing with the man I love, protected and safe.

"Can I cut in?" Dom's smooth, sexy voice appears in front of me and I didn't even know I had closed my eyes until that point.

Dalton grumbles, almost reluctant to release me, but he swings me out, Dom catching me as I gasp at the unexpected move. The song turns into something more upbeat, sultry, and sexy. Latin music. Dom smirks down at me, his dark brown eyes warm as he starts to move us. His hand slides down my spine until it's resting just above my ass while his other grips the back of my neck so I'm forced to only look at him.

It's fucking hot, the way he controls our movements with confidence. He moves sensually and fast, yet he just flows with the music. I can't help but laugh as he spins me out and back in while moving his hips to the beat. Each time he spins me out or swings me under his arm, he always places his right hand back on my neck.

"Beautiful." He pulls me closer as the song slows to an end and places a kiss on my forehead while I draw in a deep breath of his scent.

Always smokey, like a cigar but sweet. Cherry and spice. It's addicting.

"Baby cakes! You look so good dancing, I couldn't look away from your sweet, peachy ass. Here's your margarita, although I did take a few sips. Now, step back and I'll show you how it's really done on the dance floor." Tey hands me an almost empty glass with a wink as he talks really fast while making shooing motions with his hands, as if he needs the whole dance floor to himself.

"Might want to step back. It's like nothing you've ever seen before," Nicky says as he comes to stand by our side, his arms crossed over his chest, smiling while watching Tey nod to the DJ.

My jaw drops.

"I–I have no words…" I choke out, trying not to laugh as Tey starts to jump around when the music starts.

I'm not even sure I'd call it dancing. He kind of reminds me of a jelly bean bouncing around or a dolphin jumping out of the water, but he doesn't care, and his smile is so big as he places his hands together behind his head and rotates his hips. I can't hold it in anymore. I burst out giggling, shaking my head as he winks again at the sound before he flips onto the ground and starts to do the worm.

"It's only going to get worse. Nicola called," Nicky states quietly, not taking his gaze off Tey. "She said she picked up the package and the room is all set." I bite my lip, sinking further into Dom's embrace for courage and I look around for Logan. He's not in the same spot I last saw him, the glass he was holding sitting on the side table empty. "He's on the beach." Nicky looks down at me, his face serious, but he gently moves my hair behind my ear as he gives me one single nod.

That's all I needed. Exhaling, I glance over my shoulder to Dom to see him already staring down at me.

"You can do this. Whatever you need, mama. I'll help you along the way," Dom mutters so matter-of-factly that I straighten my spine and pull out of his arms, knowing he's right.

I can do this.

"Come get us in ten minutes." My hands shake as I walk away from the dance floor, passing Dalton who tips his beer at me and winks.

These fucking men. They have so much faith in me that it makes me feel like I can take on the world. Just one to go to determine if we'll make it or break it.

I slip my heels off as I get to the sand and scan for Logan. He's not hard to find, and my heart breaks just looking at him. He's sitting on the sand, his shirt unbuttoned and whipping behind him as the wind picks up from the ocean. Goose bumps pebble my arms as I take quiet steps towards him. Seeing his shoulders hunched as I sit down right next to him and the faraway look in his eyes as he stares out into the water almost makes me back out of the plan. I have to remember this is for the best. It's going to heal us both.

"You should be back up there with the guys. I'm not the best company right now, baby girl." Logan's voice is raspy and low as he continues to stare out at the water with his face expressionless.

He doesn't fool me, though. He's telling himself he wants to be alone so he can bear all his pain by himself, but it will eventually eat him up inside the longer he holds in all that misery.

"I'll stay right here." It's the only thing I say as I lean my head on his shoulder and just stare at the ocean too. He doesn't say anything for a while, but at least he's not telling me to leave. "Lo?" I whisper as I rest my chin on his bicep to look up at his face and place my hand that's holding the syringe behind him on the sand.

"Yeah, baby girl?" He looks down at me, his light brown eyes so sad and hurting that I want to cry.

"You remember the last time we were at the beach and you said how you'll always protect me?" My voice shakes as I bite my lip to hold back the tears, hating the sharp pain in my chest with what I'm about to do.

So much pain between us and mistrust.

Never again.

He doesn't break my stare, his gaze flicking back and forth between mine like he's looking for something.

"Yes, I'll do anything to protect you," he quietly says, his voice so hushed with emotion, a million expressions crossing his face.

Regret, guilt, and the one that catches my attention most… love for me that's so strong my breath gets taken away. This man owns me.

"You didn't protect me from one thing though. It hurt so bad that I can still feel it." I uncap the syringe with two fingers as I sit up on my knees with my hand still behind his lower back, turning my body towards him because I'm going to look him in the eyes with my next words.

"Who hurt you?" His eyes grow dark, his tone turning menacing and threatening.

Raising my hand up behind him, the syringe hovering on the other side of his neck, I take a deep breath and plunge the needle into his skin right between his neck and shoulder.

"You did," I whisper, feeling tears trailing down my cheeks as I see his confused expression and the instant pain flashing in his hazy eyes as the drug takes effect.

Within seconds he's slumping forward and I catch him in my arms, moving his hair out of his eyes to stare down at his peaceful looking face.

"Don't let me down, Logan." I place a kiss on his soft lips and pray he doesn't break my heart.