Chapter 5

Tillie

Sometimes I wish life would throw me a whole fucking lemon tree and then my glass would never go empty. In a way, I would have been ignorant of the wrongs in the world, so much hate and violence hidden away from me. It could have seemed like I lived in a bubble, protected, but I'm shit out of luck.

I want to scream, cry, and rage that it's not fair the life I've been dealt. As if my being created was a gamble, just a roll of the dice that ended up on the losing side. I've lived in despair and woe is me. I could have it a lot worse. Being human trafficked by Jin and sold to who knows where. Then again, I'd probably take those chances than ever having to be near Cruz again.

God.

Cruz.

I can't believe I was breathing the same air as him, having him so dreadfully close to me. It really was pure luck that I'm still in one piece right now, but for how long? Cruz has to know about the guys and me. There was no hiding that, and now my worst fear is becoming a reality. I've brought so much danger to their door and put their lives at risk. It's all my fault if anything happens to them. I do wonder how much it takes before a person loses their sanity from having everything thrown at them at once. How the hell am I still functioning? I should just give myself over before my mind splits in half and I end up getting my guys killed.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I feel stuck all of a sudden and the urge to run is very, very strong, as if the car doors on either side are closing in on me. I'm seconds away from opening the door, not caring how fast it's going, and taking a fucking leap out. Either into Cruz's grasp to get it all over with or far, far away that Tillie no longer exists.

"Stop. Don't go there, little bitch. Get out of your fucking head or I'll make you." Dalton leans between the two front seats and wraps the palm of his hand around my throat, using his thumb on my chin to turn my head towards him. "If you even think about running, I'll chase after you and chain you to my bed. You get me?" The intensity of his violent gaze burns into mine with so much understanding and a promise to follow through with keeping me in his sights, even if it involves shackling my wrists in metal. How does he do that? He always seems to know when I'm on the verge of freaking out and having a meltdown. Holding his gaze, I swallow harshly around his hand and give him a tiny nod. "Good girl. There's nothing we can do at this very moment, so sit back and enjoy the fucking ride." He grips the pulsing pressure points on either side of my neck and gently skims his fingers along my skin as he lets go.

"You're such a dick." My voice comes out husky as I furrow my brows at how much I miss the warmth of his hand around my throat.

"You like my big dick," he grumbles and sits back in his seat, taking up the whole space back there with his broad shoulders.

I shake my head and lean against the headrest, closing my eyes instead of looking out the windows. Honestly, I don't care where we're going as long as it puts them out of reaching distance from Cruz. That's all I care about. I love Dalton, Tey, Dom, and even Nicky and Logan for some sick, fucked up reason. They're in a world of pain when I see them again. I'm going to twist off Logan's balls for hurting me.

"Sit tight, Mama. We're almost to my place. You'll be safe there," Dom rasps in that smokey voice of his, his hand snaking around my upper thigh and squeezing.

For the rest of the ride, he doesn't move his hand, just softly rubs his thumb back and forth in a gesture that slowly relaxes my body with the soft purr of his car, making me start to drift off.

I feel the car slow down ten minutes later and the sound of something buzzing followed by a soft squeak has me opening my eyes. A towering, solid metal door slides open on the driveway, letting Dom through the moment enough space is available for the car to fit. I look in the rearview mirror, watching the gate close, and breathe easier when I see the tall, cement walls surrounding the whole place. Dom's house is like a fortress, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a moat. He cuts off the engine and the only sound meeting my ears is of our breathing filling the car.

"Damn." Dalton whistles from the backseat before getting out with his hands on his hips as he stares up at the mansion in front of us.

It's like something out of a movie; beautiful and classy. With a clay tile roof, it seems to have the Mediterranean vibe, and the house structure is tan like sand with bright green vines of pink and red blooming flowers crawling up the walls. It's very homey and classical with palm trees surrounding the outside. I feel like I've stepped into Spain with all the vivid, lush colors that have a calming effect and charm.

"Dom, it's exquisite," I breathe out and soak it all in, shuddering as he buttons up the jacket over my shoulders so I'm not freezing while standing in his driveway.

"You should see the house in Mexico. All in good time, Mama. Let's get you inside and I'll give you a tour later." Dom guides me up the steps with his hand on my lower back, practically holding me up as exhaustion eats away at me.

The front door opens before we make it up to the last step. A short, sweet, little old lady stands there with a blossoming smile as she reaches up and clasps Dom's cheeks.

He has to bend down as she places a kiss on each cheek and pinches him. My brows raise at the slight pink covering his cheekbones.

"Nieto! You are getting too thin. I'll make you some Arroz Cubano." She fits over Dom, clicking her tongue before turning to Dalton and I with an equally warm smile. "Such sad eyes, but don't fear, Mija, my Dom will make you a very happy wife."

I nearly choke on my tongue and smack Dalton's chest as he coughs into his fist in amusement.

"Yaya! Let her inside before you scare her away," Dom mutters in exasperation, gesturing for his grandmother to walk ahead of us.

"Don't worry, Mija, he loves me, and you won't have to worry about me walking in on any lovemaking. I want grandbabies. I'm not getting any younger, Nietos. I live in the guesthouse in the back of the property for my own space. Feel free to come visit me when you're not working on giving me a great grandchi—" his grandmother gushes excitedly until Dom cuts her off, and I already know he's in for a world of hurt for interrupting her, I can see it in her face that's laced with displeasure.

"Enough, Yaya." Dom winces as his grandmother suddenly has her slipper in her hand and starts whacking him on the shoulder with it. "Jesus. I'm sorry! Tillie, Dalton, this is my lovely grandmother, Isabella." Dom gestures to both of us when his grandmother stops smacking him and he clasps my hand, rubbing his thumb back and forth on my wrist.

"It's very nice to meet you." I sound like a dying frog, my throat dry as I sway on my feet.

"Ma'am," Dalton says with respect. He stands on my other side as he wraps his arm around my waist to hold me up, not caring that he's boxing me in between him and Dom.

"I'll get started on dinner while you go rest, you look dead on your feet, child." She pats my cheek affectionately with a knowing look as she glances at Dom and Dalton standing on either side of me protectively.

I just nod my head with a small smile and sag against Dalton as she walks briskly into a kitchen near the back of the house. I'm suddenly being swung up into a pair of strong arms and cradled against a warm chest as I nuzzle my face into Dom's neck. He starts walking, carrying me farther into his house, and I glance over his shoulder to make sure Dalton is following. His eyes meet mine, those kissable lips of his curling at the edge as I reach over Dom's shoulder with one arm and trail my fingertips over the light scruff on Dalton's sharp jawline. He mouths, "Love you," and it makes my heart skip a beat.

I can't believe we went from enemies to freaking lovers, not trusting and practically at each other's throats to this insane love that feels like it can last forever. Does it make me fucked up that I love all their rough edges and want to bring out the darkest side of each of them? I think back to that night in the garage as they loomed over me, forcing me to my knees and fucking my mouth until my lips were swollen and red. I stare at Dalton now and I want him as he is, even when he shoves his big cock down my throat like he owns me. He does, but I own him too. I like all the sides that are cut and sharp to the touch, but the soft side they only let me see makes my insides melt too.

It's confusing as hell, but that's me.

At some point, we enter a room, but Dom strides through it too fast for me to really look at it. He flicks on a light and slowly sets me down right next to the shower glass door. Without a word, he turns on the water with his hand outstretched under the spray until it's to his liking. It better be scorching hot or else I don't want it.

I kind of stand there in a daze, swaying on my feet as I watch the glass door fog up. Hands sweeping my hair away from my breastbone makes me jump a little until I feel the soft touch of lips on my neck and the scruff of Dalton's beard leaving behind a slight burn.

"Let us take care of you, and after, sleep. No talking about anything that happened today, okay?" Dalton whispers against my skin, grabbing the labels of Dom's jacket around my shoulders from behind and easing it away until it drops onto the tiled floor.

Dom steps forward and gets to one knee in front of me, kissing my stomach as he draws down my underwear. He glances back up at me, his gaze flickering between Dalton and I with a look I can't understand. Content, maybe? Relaxed? I don't know, but I wasn't expecting them to get along so well.

"Okay." My voice comes out soft, afraid speaking any louder will break this intimate moment between us.

I can't help but stroke my index finger along Dom's dark brow and watch as his eyes close at my touch, his face relaxing, as if he's been strung too tight this whole time. I'm standing naked in front of both men after Dalton unsnaps my bra within seconds, yet I don't get the feeling this is about sex. Of course, the sexual tension is there. I'm naked, but both guys are handling me like I'm fragile and precious. It's such a strange feeling, one that's going to take a long time getting used to.

Dom climbs to his feet, stripping out of his clothes and exposing golden skin with each item of clothing he drops to the floor. I'm only human, so I let my gaze slide over his body. He has big, tan feet, muscular calves with hair that I want to feel rubbing against my legs, thick thighs that could squeeze a watermelon open, and the perfect place to park my ass on. My eyes linger on his cock, watching it twitch the longer I stare. He's so fucking long and thick… He's not even hard. Jesus. I can't believe that thing slid down my throat. I could have suffocated to death. My gaze keeps moving, pretty sure I'm hardcore eye fucking him and not caring one bit. Why do the indents of a man's hip have to be so damn sexy? It instantly draws my gaze there, and it's like a leading arrow forcing your gaze to go lower. My eyes continue devouring him and I note that his abs are stacked and tight, making my mouth water. If I lick it, then it's mine, right? His biceps are huge, and it makes me want to be cuddled against him just as much as I want to drape myself over his perfectly broad shoulders.

I hear the rustling of Dalton behind me before I feel his hot, naked skin against my back as he hooks his arm around my waist and lifts me up like I weigh nothing.

"You're lucky I'm not a self-conscious man. The way you were just staring at him reminds me of setting a plate of chocolate cake in front of you. The same look you always give me." Dalton sets me down under the hot water and turns me in his arms until I'm looking up at him.

"You guys and chocolate cake are equally the loves of my life," I joke, leaning into him with a small smile before it drops.

Loving these guys is hard, even when I want to leave Logan and hurt him just as much as he's hurt me, but the heart wants what it wants. It sucks, the back-and-forth way my head and heart go at each other.

Head: "Leave his ass."

Heart: "But we love him for some stupid reason."

"No thinking, Mama. Just feel. We're going to wash the day away from you, and you're going to let us," Dom states, leaving no room for argument, but he won't hear any complaints from me.

Fingers weave into my hair, smoothing the wet strands with shampoo before scrubbing gently at my scalp. Is there such a thing as a hair-wash orgasm? Dalton starts washing my body slowly as I lean my back into Dom and close my eyes.

"Just a little bit longer, Tillie," Dalton mutters, not lingering on my breasts as he washes me, working his way down my body before dropping to his knees to wash my legs.

They're both really caring for me, and that makes my eyes well up with tears.

"You look good on your knees down there." I try to lighten the mood, running my hand through his hair as he looks up at me with a lopsided smile.

"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he vows with a deep grumble in his voice, squeezing my hips before standing and hugging me to his chest as Dom finishes washing the conditioner from my hair.

"You own us, Tillie. It came out of nowhere, fast and hot enough to set the world on fire. I think we would do just about anything for you, even fucking Russo," Dom says passionately, stepping up to my back to sandwich me between their bodies, which are giving off enough heat that it warms me from the inside out.

"I know. I know this, but my mind isn't ready to think about everything right now," I mutter into Dalton's hard pec, letting my lips kiss his smooth skin.

"Tomorrow," Dom promises and nuzzles my neck.

"Tomorrow," I reply. Just being here in this moment, that doesn't hurt.

I can hurt tomorrow.