11. Firefly

Chapter 11

Firefly

" B lue!" The deafening roar of wind and the acrid stench of something burning fills my senses, drowning out my aching screams for her. My skin feels like it's on fire as I frantically search through the chaotic abyss. Smoke clouds my view and I can't see far ahead of me, but what I do see feels oddly familiar.

This place, it can't be Nightmare. Am I... in Dreadmoor?

"Firefly!" Blue's frantic voice slices through the air like an icy knife, filling me with terror and dread. I try to push through the smoke, but it only seems to thicken with each step, trapping me in this swirling, hellish inferno. And then I hear it—her blood-curdling scream so loud, it pierces through my soul.

"B-Blue!" I call out, my heart pounding in my chest. I desperately scan the area for any sign of her, frantically searching the chaos, but all around me is deathly silent, halting as the darkness settles and something draws near. I suddenly feel a cold, boney hand gripping my heart. A chill runs down my spine as a dark presence envelopes me, taunting me with its ominous presence. The wretched smell that follows tells me who it is, panic flooding my veins as her breath wraps around my neck. I spy her sharp grin from the corner of my eye, stretching as she whispers with a twisted glee, "Shall we play a game?"

My body jolts upright from the cold, hard floor. Sweat beads on my skin, drenching me in a sticky layer. My heart pounds so hard, I can feel it throbbing against my ribcage. In the dim glow of my skin, I can see my bugs, usually illuminated and buzzing with energy now motionless and quiet, as though something had dulled them.

"What's happening?" I pant, frantically trying to calm myself. I rake a hand through my damp hair, feeling disoriented and on edge. Something isn't right.

"Firefly?" Blue's voice startles me, and I turn to see her naked form curled up next to me. The sight of her brings a sense of relief and comfort to my frantic mind, calming it instantly.

"What's wrong?" She yawns while sitting up, rubbing her button eyes. The memories of my nightmare flood back—the smoke suffocating me, the overwhelming sense of despair, her screams for help. I swallow, remembering the voice I heard. The Spinster.

"Bad dream," I manage to choke out as I lay back down and pull her into my arms. She gives a sleepy chuckle and nuzzles into my chest, her fingers tracing her name gently. I don't want to worry her, especially after what happened in her basement, but something isn't right. I feel it in my bones.

"Can the Boogeyman even have a bad dream?" she teases gently, quickly falling back to sleep. I carefully stroke her thigh, feeling the sewn thread of my name as I press my lips to her head.

No, but her Firefly can.

My arms pull her body close, gently squeezing her tight as I bury my head into her hair, inhaling her scent as I try to calm myself back to sleep. The world slowly begins to fade away as we drift off, the sounds of my bugs chittering lightly creating a unique lullaby as something cackles, the sound echoing in the faraway distance, my consciousness slipping into absolute darkness.

My eyes remain shut as I carefully rotate, reaching for Blue. I feel around the floor, searching for her body, but it isn't there. "Blue?" I peel my eyes open, sleepily patting the ground. Where are you?

A slight panic seeps into my core as I quickly shoot up, searching around the dark room. My bugs are oddly quiet, their glow faint and flickering as if they have little to no power or energy. They're weak, but why? Everything feels off. Wrong.

"Blue?" I call out again, sleep fading from my brain as I realize I'm alone.

A strange pain throbs around my wrists, as if something is wrapped tightly around them, pulling tight. What the hell? I scan my skin, noticing no marks or reasoning for the pain. Deciding to ignore it, I grab my suit and race up the stairs, searching the treehouse, but there's no sign of her. She must've gone home, but why didn't she wake me? I would've taken her.

I dress in my suit and step outside into the dark, haunted woods, listening to the nightlife. A new pain begins to press against my temple as if someone is piercing it slowly. The ache is becoming all too consuming and disorienting. I grab my head, groaning. What the fuck is happening? An odd sense of fear washes over me briefly before rolling away. I try to shrug it off. Something tells me I need to speak to Havoc, but where is she?

I continue around the forest, searching the trees with no sign of her. Maybe she's near the portal? Has she snuck away to Dreadmoor again, to bring back another lost soul to torture in one of her many games? Who knows with that little clown. Nothing about her is sensible or predictable.

Voices carry from ahead, whispering through the trees: Charisma and Sullen. If they're out here, then Havoc must be lingering nearby. The three minions are always lurking about together.

"Where is she?" I demand as I approach them, leaning against a tree trunk. I try to ignore the itchiness of my mask, the feel of it uncomfortable and annoying. The material has always bothered me, but since being around Blue and not wearing it as much, putting it on now is almost too much. It's like putting on another person's face, and I don't like that person.

"Gonna have to be more specific," Sullen states boredly while flipping a black button eye with his thumb like a coin. He seems frustrated, half trying to ignore my presence.

"Yeah." Charisma hums a tune as they polish their boot with... wait.

"Is that my fucking shirt?" I growl as Charisma flashes their bright teeth.

"What can I say? You have a non-abrasive fabric, perfect to get that perfect shine." They raised their boot high, the moonlight reflecting off the lavender leather as if it was a tinted mirror. "Anyway, who are you asking for again?" I give them a glare that, even though it can't be seen, I know they can feel, because a shudder runs over them before they cross their legs and continue polishing their boot. "Havoc isn't here," they quip. "She left early this morning, muttering something about toys, bugs, and big kid games. She was really frazzled, more than usual, and hasn't been back."

"Did it not occur to either of you to mention this to me before now?"

Sullen scoffs while shaking his head. "Why would we?" He raises the button high, widening his jaw before swallowing it whole, licking his lips. "You seem perfectly content with your new toy. Charisma and I aren't even sure what, if anything, we should tell you anymore. You don't act like our boss, not like you used to. You're always gone, playing with that doll, and now, the game is fucked. Havoc—believe it or not—still had marbles left in that ridiculous brain of hers. That is, until you started fucking that doll, sending what little sanity she had left flying out the window. Something's wrong with her, and if I were you," his tail points in my direction, "I would be worried about your little friend. Havoc is already a loose cannon, but light her fuse, and she's a bomb of chaos just waiting to explode. No one's safe with her running loose."

A grunt is my only response as I shift uncomfortably. The idea of Havoc becoming even more unhinged is something I don't particularly enjoy or welcome. I do, however, need to find Havoc. There was something happening with her. Havoc and I need to have a serious discussion about what happened the other night with the Spinster getting into my head. It all started with Havoc's chattering, and with Sullen's eerie warning, I'm starting to think she may not be as dedicated to this side of the game as I initially thought. A scary thought to consider.

"I'm going to check on Blue." I push myself off the tree and start walking, ignoring their groans. "If Havoc shows up while I'm gone, sit on her until I get back." Sullen's tail salutes me as I walk off, leaving the couple behind me.

Cocking my head to one side, I stare through the thick glass at the dark room in confusion. Usually, she has a candle, or her fireplace lit, but there's nothing that shows she's in there. The room is deadly silent. She wouldn't be wandering around by herself, would she? I've told her before that it's dangerous for her to be traveling out here alone– not that she's known for listening.

Cracking my neck, I reach for the window, pushing it slightly open. I slip inside with ease, the immediate, eerily odd silence unnerving me. "Blue?" I call out, receiving no response. I remove my gloves as I cautiously walk to the small fireplace near her bed and grab a stray match, igniting the small twigs, watching the embers grow into a simple fire. I listened to the crackling wood as it pops, my eyes searching, finding everything as it should be, except no Blue.

No sign of Blue, or my dragonfly that usually follows her.

Where has the little dragonfly gone?

I listen for the fluttering bug but hear nothing. Strange, seeing as they're an extension of myself and under my influence. They always obey my command. They would never leave unless?—

I immediately halt, dread and shock shooting up my spine as I notice a pair of torn and tattered wings at my feet, the glimmering membranes reflecting in the moonlight. My heart rate quickens as I bend down, carefully picking up the tattered pieces of the iridescent wing, examining them closely, as I instantly recognize them. My dragonfly. Blue's dragonfly.

"What happened?" I whisper, as the tip of the bug's wing begins to faintly glow, flicking with the faintest hint of life. The color of the wing changes from blue, then... a familiar magenta that strikes fear into my very soul.

Havoc.

I stand up, my body feeling heavy as I drop the body of the dragonfly on the bed. Havoc was here. Sullen was right; she did something with Blue, and must've stopped my bug from telling me, knowing I would stop her. I turn to head back to the treehouse, the thought of Blue being in danger making me physically ill, when I notice something out of place from the corner of my eye.

"What the fuck!" I scream as I'm met with the horrific site of Blue's fucking rat, pinned to the wall above Blue's bed with a nail driven fiercely through his throat. Its button eyes are missing and its limbs are hanging on by the thinnest of threads. That bitch destroyed her stuffed rat. "You're a cock sucking psychopath, Havoc!" I roar, hoping that psychotic clown hears me.

I try to leave, but God fucking help me, I can't. Blue would never forgive me if I just left Mr. Whiskers there for her to find later. Sighing, I march over to the rodent and carefully pry him off the wall, the smell of its half-preserved insides mixing with its usual rank stench, making me gag.

"I. Fucking. Hate. You," I grit out as I carefully tuck the limp, mangy creature into Blue's nightstand before making my way back to the window and out towards my treehouse.

Immense pain shoots across my back, as if someone had kicked me hard, followed by an invisible punch to my face. I rubbed my cheek, confused by the strange pain and fear I feel as I'm alone and unharmed.

What the hell is happening?

"Unacceptable!" I roar as my arms fly over my desk, causing all the jars of my collected buttons and needles to shatter. Sullen is unfazed by my temper as Charisma simply rolls their eyes, annoyed by the mess I just made.

"I just polished these," Charisma hisses, flexing their boots.

"I'll murder you," I grit out, at my wits end. "But first, I'll murder your fucking shoes and make you watch." Charisma gasps, appalled at my threat before huffing. My body aches, stinging with some strange pain, as if someone has hung me up by hooks or strings, letting me dangle in the air as the weight of my body pulls against my skin. It's beyond uncomfortable, nipping at my anger.

"We told you, we haven't seen her!" the demon yells back.

"Then find her!" I scream, my fist slamming into the desk. "Where are they? And what the fuck are you two even doing?" I wrinkle my nose at the smell of... is that—popcorn? "Stop it! Whatever you're doing, just stop!"

Sullen and Charisma exchange confused glances before looking back at me.

"Boss," Sullen says slowly, his voice hard to hear over the echoing waves of strange, pounding music playing. It's as if a circus is performing upstairs. "We're not doing anything," He slithers closer, looking me up and down, Charisma shadowing him. I shake my head and rub my ear while staring at the deadly couple.

"You don't hear that?" I call over the loud noise, motioning around the air. "The music?" They both shake their heads. "Fuck. Do you atleast smell the popcorn?"

"Popcorn?" Charisma snickers. "Boss, I think you've finally lost it." Charisma snorts and turns to walk away, but Sullen's tail stops them as his black eyes narrow on me in suspicion.

"You know," his eyes roam over me, stepping closer as his face darkens with a sinister smile. "sharing needles can lead to some rather... unfortunate side effects. No one should share needles; even I know that." Even with the music blaring in my ears, I still hear the snark in his tone.

"What?" I growl out while rubbing my nose, the smell of popcorn twisting into something burnt and charred, more pricks pulling at my flesh.

"You trading stitches with the toy?" he asks, and I let the slur go only because of his question. "Feeling things that aren't there? Hearing things?"

"What does that matter?" I ask as Charisma clicks their tongue while shaking their head.

"Like a moth lured in by the siren's call of fire, blind to the searing torture that awaits. A shared needle and thread—a futile attempt to mend two broken creations, only to end up ensnared together in a web of agony." I blink, shaking my head.

"You fucking sound like Havoc," I growl as Charisma petty huffs.

"Excuse you! That was poetic brilliance right there!" they snap, their hands on their hips. "I'm underappreciated in this world." They tisk.

"Speak. Fucking. English," I say impatiently through my gritted teeth. Sullen growls as he sharply steps forward.

"You stitched each other, correct? Shared a needle? Shared the same thread?" I say nothing, but the tightening of my jaw gives him the confirmation. Sullen nods. "You're feeling the doll, Boss. You're experiencing what she is because you two are connected." I stare at my shirt-covered chest in shock before ripping the garment off and running my hand over the stitching.

"How do you know?" I whisper as Sullen shrugs.

"We may not be ‘big kids'," he sneers while strolling back to Charisma. "But we make sure to stay knowledgeable in what makes others tick. Now tell me, what are you feeling?" I blink a couple of times, trying to get my bearings.

"Uh... scared? Maybe? Confused. I don't know. I-I feel trapped, like my skin is being pulled from my bones and attached to hooks or something! I smell burnt popcorn, and this god-awful music. It's loud and fast; it's making my heartbeat even faster."

"Burnt popcorn," Charisma muses. "Sounds like Havoc is settling in for a show. You know she likes the crispy kernels– or at least, that's what she always said."

"She always was a clown," Sullen drags out the words.

I'm feeling what Blue feels? Does that mean the pain ? —

"I need to get to Dreadmoor," I grab my shirt and put it back on before reaching for my Boogeyman outfit. "I need to save Blue. If we are connected, like you said, then there has to be a way for me to get back there, to get through the portal myself."

Sullen tilts his head from one side to the other in thought. "Possibly, but there's no guarantee."

"That's good enough for me." I rush from the room, bolting from the treehouse as I struggle to put my suit on, my legs moving quickly. I speed towards the direction of the portal to Dreadmoor, the smells and sounds of Blue's own senses choking me out as I struggle to focus and keep a level head.

I'm coming for you, Blue . I huff and pant, pushing through the ongoing pain and torture she must be enduring. I'm coming, Doll face.

Charisma and Sullen shadow me, moving just as fast. Together, the three of us aim for the entrance of the portal. We reach our destination, quicker than ever before, the two minions completely unaffected as I breathe heavily, suddenly struggling to catch my breath. Something is wrong. I try to catch my breath, my heart racing as I couldn't properly inhale.

I can't breathe. I can't fucking breathe!

Panic grips my chest like a vice, squeezing until I can't even draw a breath. Blue must be enduring so much, having a full panic attack that I'm now experiencing. I slam my fists into a nearby tree, the wood splintering from the immense impact of my anger.

"Careful, boss," the demon whispers, eyeing me closely. "Save your strength. You're going to need it."

Every part of me is screaming, raging against the injustice of it all. Havoc took Blue back to Dreadmoor, back to the Spinster. A searing inferno of rage engulfs every last inch of my being, threatening to consume me. I can feel it pulsing through my veins like molten lava, ready to erupt and destroy everything in its path.

I'm going to kill them; Havoc, The Spinster. I'm going to kill everyone in that fucking world. Every creation, every toy– I'm going to burn them all. I'm going to set fire to Dreadmoor and watch as it all fucking burns to ashes at my feet.

"Boss, you realize there is no certainty this will even work," Charisma says, their nervousness for my well-being almost touching as we stand in front of the portal. "As much as I'd love to see what you do with Havoc, you know we can't cross with you."

"I know, but Blue needs my help. I'm not leaving her. I have to try to get to Dreadmoor, regardless of the possible outcome. All I ask," I turn to face the two minions, their eyes full of concern, "if Havoc comes back through?—"

"Yes, yes," Charisma dismisses me. "Sit on her?—"

"You keep her locked away until I return. I'm going cut out that fucking button eye of hers and stuff it down her traitorous throat," I snarl, shoving my mask over my face. Sullen grins, excited by the idea of my descriptive punishment.

"Just make sure you come back," Sullen states as I walk toward the portal. "Nightmare can't be run with that old skeleton as king. There's a balance to this maddening world. It needs the Boogeyman."

I stare at them for another second before taking a breath and jumping into the brightly burning portal. Nightmare may need the Boogeyman, but Blue needed her Firefly.

I'm coming, Doll face.

"Fuck!" I grunt out as my body is violently thrown out from the portal and onto the hard, unforgiving ground. The impact rattles my bones, my senses in overload as I strain, everything hurting from the crossover, leaving me feeling like I've been tossed around by one of the Nightmares that haunted my world. Fuck, and I thought my first time through was rough . As I lie there, gasping for breath, I feel the cold, smoky, acidic air filling my lungs and burning my throat. The triggering smells and sounds slowly seep into my being as I look around and realize where I am.

Dreadmoor. I've made it back.

Wasting no time, I push myself up from the ground, ignoring the cries of protest from my already-battered body. My eyes struggle to adjust to the darkness, unlit by the ever-hanging moon light we have back in Nightmare. In Dreadmoor, the world is drenched in perpetual darkness unlike the night. It's as if the world has exploded, and been left in the cloudy aftermath of a heavy haze of smoke that plagues this land, never settling, making it nearly impossible to see beyond my outstretched hand. My pupils try to adjust, but I can only see so much.

"B-Blue!" I shout into the darkness, coughing as I slowly start walking, not knowing where exactly I'm headed. This world is unfamiliar to me now, given I've been exiled for centuries, leaving little pieces of memory and familiarities of the landscape behind. Blue could be anywhere. We could be separated by miles, and I wouldn't even know it.

Images from my dark dream flash through my mind, causing panic to rise within me. I saw this happening, felt it before, but I couldn't stop it. I couldn't protect her. The impact of something stabbing me in the side almost knocks me to my knees as I groan out in pain, squeezing my hands into fists, fighting through it. Blue . She was suffering. I force myself to stand back up, pushing past the shared pain and dark thoughts. Blue is still alive, and she needs my help. I need to find her. Stay strong, Doll face. I'm coming for you.

The distant sound of music, much like what I heard back in Nightmare, carries on the soft breeze, swirling with the endless smoke around me. The circus . I cough, peering through the haze, my feet following the odd beat until I come to a desolate tree. I grab the low, lingering branches, a few snapping beneath my weight as I carefully climb higher, reaching just above the smoke. The sound grows, the music directing my focus as I spot a faint green light off in the distance, flashing from within the cloudy smoke. Could that be it?

The wind picks up, nearly knocking me over as I grip the dead branches and hold on tight, the smoke breezing by enough to reveal the top of a large, weathered, pin-striped circus tent. There .

Quickly, I jump from the tree, landing on my feet with a heavy thud. The smoke continues to fill my lungs, causing me to cough more and more. God, I hate this place . I want to rip my mask off, to stop sweating, to breathe the cold air, but I'm not sure if my tattoos will glow here. I can't take the risk. At least with my suit, I know I'm unrecognizable and able to sneak right in, blending amongst Dreadmoor's sick inhabitants.

I take a deep breath, trying my best to not gag on the smoke, before sprinting in the direction of the circus tent. Something tugs at my heart, as if pulling me closer with each step, telling me I'm going in the right direction. I follow the instinct, running until the music grows louder and the smoke begins to shift into an eerie green color, flashing lights flickering through the shadows. The same smell of burnt popcorn fills my nostrils, choking me on its thick scent as I lean closer, hearing a recognizable cackle breaking through the music.

Havoc.

I move, sticking to the darkness as I lift the fabric entrance and move into the large tent, reaching deeper inside, unsure of what I'm about to find.

The tent is dark, the flashing green lights above offering me little sight ahead between their flickers as I step forward, ducking large wooden boards. A loud drum beat, the sound of numerous instruments playing alongside it as voices entangle with the circus tune, people cheering, as if a show is happening. I can't see much crawling beneath a strange structure, though the sounds and smells increase as I slither ahead. Light peaks from a slivered crack of one of the wooden boards, beckoning me. As I push closer, a familiar voice shrieks through a megaphone.

"Shut up so Havoc can speak!" It's Havoc. She's standing in the middle of a large circus ring, green, purple, and pink lights strobing overhead as numerous creations of all kinds—nightmares, demons and even lost souls—seem to have gathered, seated, cheering her on as if she is actually a fucking ringleader. She wears a sequin top hat, her clown makeup glowing the same as her neon green hair. She speaks into a large megaphone while swinging a large clown hammer.

"Havoc welcomes you to her circus of chaos, filled with dancing toys, trick nightmares, and even a sneaky little treat!" She cackles, nearly falling back as the crowd cheers, egging her on. "Sit back, eat your popped kernels, pop, pop, pop, and enjoy Havoc's Cirque de Mess!"

She's not a ringleader—she's a fucking loon.

The crowd cheers and roars, the lights swaying as they change colors. Havoc skips from the center of the ring, fading away as a group of toys enters the ring, their button eyes reflecting the bright yellow light above. The music switches tempo, the group beginning a dance as they carry on. I need to keep searching and find Blue.

I move from the sliver in the wooden base of the audience seating and continue climbing through the wooden structure, making my way around the underbelly of the circus.

A familiar smell hits my nostrils as I stop, focusing on it: Ghost Meringue. I know it's Havoc's scent, which means wherever that psychotic little clown is, Blue isn't far behind. But where did she go?

I close my eyes and listen, hoping to hear something that will help lead me in the right direction, but I only hear the music playing in the ring. Fuck!

The sound of the tempo changes, followed by the lights shifting and her shrieking voice returning through the megaphone causes me to search for another crack and see what's happening. If Havoc's back, then Blue must be close by. My eyes frantically peer through the mask, desperately trying to find a way to see.

"Such fun toys!" she yells as cheers erupt from above, the sound of feet stomping against the wooden structure vibrating through my skull. "Who wants to see more of Havoc's circus?" The lights flash between purple, green, and pink, enticing the crown. I find a hole just a few feet away and rush to it, looking through as I see Havoc aiming her hammer high above at a newly-appeared tightrope. "Havoc has a special surprise for all of you!" she cackles again, twirling as the lights go dark. The crowds gasp and holler as new music begins to play.

A single purple light pierces through the darkness, fog gathering around the ring as a large nightmare crawls through. Not just any nightmare, but the Widow—the most dangerous nightmare of all, Havoc riding it. The enormous spider-like nightmare is dragging something behind it— no , someone. They're hard to see but obviously struggling. I need to get a better look.

"Havoc has a special surprise for all Havoc's friends!" She squeals.

I glance around noticing a small doorway, fog seeping in from behind, just ahead with fabric hanging in front of it. There. I move from the wooden wall and make my way to the opening as Havoc rambles on.

"You see, Havoc loves her toys. But Havoc found something special."

I pull the fabric aside, realizing that the doorway leads to a carved-out hallway, which seems to head right to the edge of the circus ring. I glance around before slithering to the wall, slowly creeping closer to the ring, the lights and sounds of the circus growing with each step. I peer up, noticing just how high the tent reaches and how large the circus really is.

"And today, I bring my circus. Drum roll!" She orders the band as they frantically begin playing a rapid beat on the drums while her spider hisses at them. As the drumroll ends, symbols crash together, and a beam of blue light turns on, revealing who's being dragged behind the spider.

Blue.

"Ta-da!" Havoc shouts as the onlookers cheer with excitement.

Blue's crying. Her face is battered, her legs tied together at the ankles, her shoes missing, her mouth bound and wrists tied together. Her dress and tights are ruined, her beautiful skin covered in bruises and wounds. My blood boils with rage, knowing all she's endured, seeing her dragged across the sandy floor of the circus ring like that.

I'm going to fucking murder you, Havoc!

"Now," Havoc plops down on the back of the spider, "who wants to see the Dolly fly?"

Fly?

As the crowd hoots and cheers the clown on, the music continues and I look up, realizing exactly who the tightrope is for. Fuck. Without a second thought, I bolt from the hall and into the circus, jumping over the edge of the circus ring, aiming for Blue.

"No!" I scream, catching everyone's attention.

Havoc and her spider whip around, spying on me as her sharp grin grows. "Boss!" she shrieks as if happy to see me. "Welcome to the show!"

I try to run to Blue, who rotates to look at me, screaming against her gag, crying hysterically. But Havoc's spider cuts me off, hissing as I stop in my tracks.

"Let her go, Havoc!" I yell, panting as I stare back at Blue, my heart aching at her pain.

I'm so sorry, Blue. I'm going to get you out of here, I promise.

The crowd boos, throwing popcorn and trash at me as I try to bat it away.

"Dolly is Havoc's plaything. And Havoc doesn't share toys!" she growls, aiming her hammer at me.

"She's not a toy!" I growl back.

"Oh, then what is Dolly?" Havoc grins. "Maybe boss should ask spider lady and see what she has to say."

Spider lady?

Havoc raises her hammer, screeching into the megaphone. "Time to make Dolly fly!"

As soon her words leave her mouth, Blue's body rises to the tiptoes of her feet as if something else is controlling her. I stand frozen, unable to pass the giant spider, watching helplessly as I realize why I feel the pain I've been feeling. Blue isn't moving on her own—she's being manipulated by strings. Her limbs and skin are sewn to thick, long threads pulling her around like a puppet.

"Blue!" I shout out, powerless to do anything.

Blue groans and cries into the gag as she begins to rise into the air, her skin bleeding from the sewn knots as she continues to be lifted higher and higher, until she reaches the tightrope, where another creation is waiting. They grab her waist, pulling her to a small platform, as if waiting for orders.

Havoc raises the megaphone to her mouth. "Spider lady!" I follow her gaze, my stomach dropping as my eyes land on her. The Spinster. "Boss thinks Dolly here," she points her hammer at Blue, "isn't a toy!"

The Spinster grins, her buttons shimmering with excitement as she glares down at me, her needle-like fingers curling over the arms of her chair as she watches from the center of the audience in a grand, gothic theater box.

You .

"Welcome home," she whispers to me, the trauma I have carried from her, boiling over the surface as I step back, shock and fear filling me. "It's been far too long. Tell me," she leans forward as my blood runs cold, "do you enjoy playing with my toys because they remind you of me?" She taps her button eye, chuckling to herself. "Remind you of us?"

I can't speak. I feel powerless and weak, drowning in the overwhelming dread of coming face-to-face with my abuser after all this time. I never thought I'd actually see her again, yet here she is, in front of me.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue, Boogeyman ?" She points her sharp finger at me as the crowd erupts into laughter. "Havoc!" She snaps her head around to look at the Spinster. "Enough with the doll. I think it's time you read our audience a little bedtime story."

Havoc giggles, jumping from the spider as it hisses at me, running in my direction with her hammer.

"Havoc. Don't. Pl—" Her hammer collides against my skull causing me to fall to the ground, dust and fog surrounding me as the crowd cheers, and darkness seeps into my mind.

"Night night bug!"

Everything quickly falls into absolute blackness. The only thing I can comprehend is the whispered voice of Blue calling my name, as if she's been hiding away in my consciousness.

Firefly.

"Fuck!" Cold water jolts my consciousness back to life as I inhale sharply, breathing in the thick scent and sounds of the circus. My body aches like before, but with a stronger intensity. I try to grasp what's happening, my vision still clearing as I shake my head and realize my suit is gone and I'm now shirtless, my flesh sewn in large knots that stretch high into the air, but I can't see where they lead due to the lack of light.

"F-Firefly."

My head snaps in the direction of her sweet, weak voice, searching the darkness for her.

"Blue?" As I call out her name, something rams into my chest, almost knocking me forward as the sewn knots pull and tug on my skin.

"Hush and shush!" Havoc snarls, mounting her giant spider. "The show must go on!" She rides the shadowy nightmare away to the center of the dark circus ring as a single purple spotlight shines down on her, her hat sparkling in the light as she grins, raising that ridiculous megaphone to her mouth.

"Once upon a time, there was a big, bad bug!" Another single light shoots to life, spotlighting me in a vibrant neon green. My eyes burn from the brightness, straining to look around for Blue.

"A naughty bug, who broke spider lady's rules and ran away!" The crowd boos as a white spotlight aims at the Spinster, accentuating her grin as it branches further than I've ever seen, eating up my pain.

"Shut up!" Havoc yells, her spider crawling across the ring as the unruly crowd slowly goes silent.

"Blue," I whisper into the darkness. "Baby," I strain, "where are you?"

A blue spotlight flicks on, highlighting Blue perfectly. I gasp as I stare, her mangled body held up by the same tied knots and thread, blood dripping down from them as she barely manages to stay standing, her mouth uncovered though ripped and stained, as if it has been stitched and reopened in some sick torture.

"Blue..." I yank against my threads, feeling something resist and pull me back. I glare up, my eyes following the strings into the lights above as I notice they connect to a pulley system at the peak of the tent and loop down to the back of the Spinster's chair, attaching to her long fingers. She's controlling the strings—controlling us. Fucking cunt . I try to pull my arm, watching as it lifts her finger lightly. She sits it back down, snapping my arm back the way she wants.

"One day, a sweet but innocent little Dolly found this big bad bug and tried to be friends," Havoc croaks, cackling to herself. "But what Dolly didn't know was that bug here," she aims her hammer in my direction as the Spinster tugs the thread, yanking me forward, "was playing his own games."

Oh God... No .

I try to look back at Blue, the Spinster moving her up on her feet as she groans, clenching her teeth while tears spill down her dirty face.

"Game?" Blue wheezes. "W-what game?" she whispers, her poor voice so weak and scared. She winces as her threads continue to be pulled. "Firefly." Her breathing is shallow and I can feel her in myself. Her fear, her pain, the rapid increase of her heart—I feel it all, and it only worsens my own emotions.

"Don't listen to her, Blue," I call out. "Just look at me." Her eyes raise as she stares at me, broken and exhausted. "Keep your eyes on me, baby. That's my girl. You're doing a great job. Don't give up. You keep fighting, Blue. I'm going to get us out of here. I promise."

"Yes, big ol' boss bug had his own twist in the game." Havoc chuckles.

"Shut up, Havoc!" I yell, my throat burning from the aggression in my voice.

Her spider scurries to me, hissing as she leans over and whispers down to me. "Webs and lies, tangled together, creating such a messy mess. Havoc warned boss Dolly was glass. Now, bug must watch his toy shatter!" She leans back, raising the megaphone to her mouth.

"Don't do this," I grit, fighting the threads, begging Havoc to stop. She merely grins, facing back to the large crowd.

"Bug saw Dolly as a key. A key to win his game." I pull at my arms, trying to rip the threads from my flesh, but it's no use.

"Stop!" I growl, glancing back to see Blue's pained face.

"Roll the dice, decide the doll's fate. Snake eyes! Bug said Dolly was the perfect pawn. His key to winning spider lady's game! He only needed to trick the Dolly into loving him." She makes kissing sounds as I try to move to Blue. "And then he could finally win!"

Blue's eyes meet mine, the feel of her heart shattering in my own chest as I try to move to her, resisting the pull of the Spinster's threads. "Blue," I groan, my blood trailing down my skin. "Blue, listen to me."

"Y-you were using me?" she chokes out, her voice raw and bitter.

"No," I breathe, feeling my own betrayal. "Please, I?—"

"Bug played his little game and won Dolly's heart!" The crowd murmurs, shocked by the truth. "And now, here they are! All is lost! Spider lady wins! Havoc lives happily ever after!" The crowd cheers as Havoc stands, bowing from the back of her giant spider.

"I-I thought you loved me, Firefly." Her words pierce my fucking heart.

"Spider lady!" Havoc shoots through the overbearingly loud noises. "Make them dance to celebrate your win!"

The Spinster snarls as she flicks her fingers.

"Dance!" Havoc shouts, the crowd following suit as they chant as one, demanding a dance.

"Blue, I—" My body screams in pain as it lunges toward her, crashing into hers before we both are raised up, our strings pulling us together.

Havoc squeals and shrieks, clapping her hands as music plays and a cannon shoots overhead, confetti raining down on all of us. "Victory!" she shouts.

Against our will, Blue and I begin to dance, stumbling and groaning through the excruciating pain, controlled like puppets by our own creator.

"Blue." I try to talk to her, but she refuses to even look at me. "Please!"

"I trusted you!" she cries out as I'm forced to dip her, her mouth gaping open as she wails in pain. "It hurts," she sobs, leaning back into my arms.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry!" I croak, trying to comfort her, but every time I lean too close, I'm tipped away. "I promise, I do love you, Blue. My feelings—they're real. Please, let me explain everything."

"No!" she snaps, twirling away, the two of us forcefully bowing to the Spinster in defeat as the music fades.

The crowd cheers, applauding Havoc and her psycho circus, bowing to the Spinster as she stands, tall and slender like a needle herself. "Havoc," she coos. "Take them away. Keep them close but separated. I have things to attend to." She waves us off, the strings losing all power over us as we crash forward onto the ground.

"Blue," I cough, crawling to her, reaching my hand out. "Please."

"Don't touch me!" she cries out, jolting her hand back.

My heart aches, cracking at the pain in her voice. I watch helplessly as creations run to us, dragging our bodies further and further away from one another.

This is all my fault. I ruined everything.

I pull the last knot from my skin and hurl it across the cramped cell, unable to hold back the hot tears that sting my eyes. The look of heartbreak and betrayal on Blue's face cut me deeply, the feeling of her torment hanging in my own heart. She'll never forgive me, and who could blame her? I never disclosed my true motives, never told her the truth: that I was using her as a pawn in my own twisted game. But my feelings for her were real. I've tried to hide them, deny them, but I've never lied about them to her. I loved her, and that was real.

But she won't believe that now. Not after what she's seen, what Havoc said.

"Fuck," I whisper, sinking to the floor and burying my head, in my hands. "Blue," I whisper into the dark, damp cell. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

"Is that you?" Her voice echoes in my head, and I can feel myself losing my grip on reality. Am I going mad?

"Blue?" I call out into the empty room.

"Yes, Boogeyman ." Her words steal the breath from my lungs, and I can feel a sob rising in my throat at the sound of her icy voice and the use of that name. She has never called me the Boogeyman. "I'm in the cell behind yours. Another sick game by our creator, no doubt. Just—leave me alone."

"Blue," I choke out, desperately searching for the right words. "Please... Please don't do this."

"You used me," she spits, and I can feel the pain in her words mirroring my own.

"No!" I shout, feeling desperation coursing through me as I tug at the chains. "I mean, yes, that was the initial plan but, Blue, you know me. You know my past—the things I've told you?—"

"It's pointless," she interrupts with a bitter laugh. "I should've known better than to trust the notorious Boogeyman. How foolish can I be? To think that anyone could love a pile of scraps like me."

"Stop it!" My voice breaks as I cry out, hoping she can hear the desperate plea in my tone. "Stop. You are not scraps! You are everything to me, Blue. For the first time ever in my existence, you made me feel like maybe, maybe , I could be more than just a monster. That I was worthy of being loved. You don't just see my mask—you see me, the real me. You own my heart, and I need you to understand that. Doll face, I should have told you before, but the timing was never right, and honestly, I hoped?—"

"Hoped what?" Her voice is full of anger and pain, and I can almost feel her slipping further away from me. "That I would just get over it? That I'm so desperate for your love, your attention, that I would ignore the flames burning me as I continue toward your light until it consumes me whole? Fuck you."

She spits out the words with venom, and all I can think about is finding her, touching her, making her believe that my love for her is real. Because without her, I will succumb to the darkness. She needs to understand; I'm but a mere glow in comparison to her radiant and brilliant beacon of light. My dim flicker pales in comparison to the warmth and brightness she emits, guiding and illuminating all those around her. I needed her to save me from myself.

"Doll face," I breathe. "Baby, where are you? Can you hit something so I can find you behind the wall?" Even if all I can do is sit beside her, I will make it enough.

"I would, but I don't see your face anywhere, and I'm saving up my energy to hit that." I snort. I love her so much, and I hate that she's so angry with me.

"I love you," I try weakly, but all I get in return is silence, and it's gut wrenching.

"Did you know?" she asks softly and I shiver at the feeling running over my thigh. Is... is that her touching my name, sewn into her leg?

"Know what?" I manage out as an almost growl rumbles in my chest at the aching burn I feel over my thigh. It's as if she's here , touching me herself, the sensation sending shockwaves to my cock.

"That the stitching would connect us?" she asks softly. "That you'd be able to travel here with it. Is that why you did it?"

"No!" I grunt out, hitting my head on the wall. "Blue, I had... fuck, what are you doing?" I pant as I feel my abdomen tightening. I feel her inserting my cock inside her, even though she's not here. She's not here, and I'm not touching myself, yet I feel as though I'm inside her and she's wrapped around me. Oh, fuck.

"Seems like if I touch myself," she whimpers softly, "you feel it. Interesting."

"Blue," I whimper at the sudden relief. She must've stopped, because I feel nothing but longing now. "Blue, baby, please?—"

"Did. You. Know?"

"I swear, I didn't know. Sullen and Charisma only told me earlier, because I could smell the burnt popcorn and hear... Fuckkkk..." The sensation returns, "H-hear music." I don't want her to stop. "There, right fucking there—fucking damnit!" I shout when she stops again. "What do you want? You want me to beg? You know I will. I will fucking lick the ground clean before you, Blue. Just tell me, what is it you want me to do?"

"You hurt me." She states simply as I feel the pleasure slowly, so fucking slowly, starting to build again.

"I'm so sorry," I rasp, my thighs literally shaking. "You have no idea how sorry I am, baby."

"You don't deserve a release." She continues to tease me somehow, as if she's right here in my lap. This connection between us is so intense, so unbearably taunting.

"You're right." Licking my lips, I stare up at the ceiling, filled with self-hate. "I-I don't. I don't deserve pleasure, a release. I don't deserve you."

"You said you loved me," she struggles to say the words.

"I do. God, Blue. you have no idea how deep my love for you runs. You are in every fiber of my being." I moan loudly as the pressure continues to build, the coil tightening at the base of my spine, ready to snap.

"You're right." Her voice is barely audible over my labored breaths. "I don't, and I don't know if I'd believe you if you told me." She whimpers in pleasure, and fuck, I'm about to come– she's about to come. I want to pour my heart and soul out and prove my love to her, but right now, I'm about to explode.

"I love you," I pant, my body vibrating. "I love you, Blue. Fuck, I love you." It's all I can get out.

"I love you too," she whimpers before releasing a cry. I follow her over the edge, my body coming alive as the most intense orgasm of my life washes over me. I feel myself coming, despite not even touching my dick. It's almost too much, too intense. My own elation is drenched in hers, the two intertwined together. I look around as the cell seems to come alive with colors, as if we were in my basement, surrounded by my bugs. Is this what she sees when she orgasms?

Every nerve in my body is pulsating, with charge and all I want to do is hold her. Once we come down and the color returns to normal, I reach up and touch my chest where her name is stitched.

"Don't," she whispers harshly. "Don't touch me."

"Blue—"

"Rule number one." She chokes on a sob. "Things may be a bit painful. If it becomes too much, tell you to stop." I feel every ounce of her pain and emotions, engulfing my own. My heart is never going to recover from this.

"Baby," I plead, tears falling freely. "That... I didn't mean... The pain—" What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to do?

"Trust me, the pain I feel right now," she sniffles as her words shadow my heart. "It's the worst pain I've ever endured. So please, just stop." My trembling hand falls from my chest, landing on my lap. Resting my head back against the wall, I close my eyes as I try to think of how I'm not only going to get us out of this, but I'm going to make Blue realize that my feelings for her are absolutely genuine. I need her to know, to forgive me. I can't fucking live without her.