Capitulum XXXII

" I -I-I promise I was just trying to sneak in," Rigel pled. "I didn't know."

He stepped closer to me, hand lowering from his face like he wanted to touch my arm, but I pulled away.

"Get the fuck out of my room!" I yelled, suddenly so overcome with rage I didn't even let myself worry about who might hear.

He stepped back in surprise, his spine colliding with the door.

But he just kept looking at me in shock, like he couldn't process what had just happened any better than me.

"Get the fuck out!"

He slipped out quickly, and I punched the door. The wood rattled under the impact as I had to stop and shake out the bite of pain from my knuckles.

I wanted to be angry, wanted it to be his fault. But as my surprise wore off, I couldn't deny he seemingly hadn't expected it any more than I had. Maybe he had believed me when I'd insisted nothing was going on with Professor Faun.

Collapsing on my bed, I laid my head in my hands, trying to keep the memory from rolling around in my mind. The feel of his lips on mine, the way he'd gripped onto me. Just the memory had my heart pounding, and I wasn't sure if it was anger or something else.

It wasn't like the kiss from the beginning of the year. I hadn't had a mental block in place that kept it from feeling real. Regrettably, for the first time, it occurred to me the whole thing might not have felt quite so detached as it had for me. I'd assumed he didn't think of me in that way outside of the occasional horny lapse of judgment.

A few days passed, and the real Professor Faun never showed up for my final. Had they decided I wasn't staying and therefore didn't bother subjecting me to my remaining exam?

But then, to my utter surprise, when finals week was finally over for everyone else, I woke up to an invite to the end-of-year ceremony. Well, it wasn't so much an invite but a command in a red envelope.

Agnes,

Someone will be at your room at 10 am sharp to fetch you for the end-of-year ceremony.

—Ephraim and faculty

It was Stacy who came for me, but she didn't look happy about it. At first, I wondered if she was angry at me, but when she saw me, she smiled sadly.

"Hello, girl."

I hugged her, and to my shock, she actually returned the gesture, which didn't bode well for my confidence in the day's outlook.

"I'm sorry about everything," I said, hoping she wouldn't hate me forever because of my sneaking around.

"Oh, girl, don't be sorry."

Her tone was mournful.

I was doomed.

On my way out, I glanced through the door, taking in my room for the last time.

As much as I'd grown sick of it in the past few months, it also felt like an extension of myself. All the pictures and figurines and books, every scrap of my life at the school felt precious.

But in the end, the only thing I'd slipped into my waistband was the drawing of Betty. More than anything, I was afraid I would forget her on the other side.

She led me to the cathedral, which was already full of students. A few faces turned, eyeing me curiously as I was brought to the back pew, right behind the yearlings and the graduates.

I wondered distantly what the rumor mill had cooked up about me while I was in lockdown. Some of the students exchanged looks, appearing almost amused.

Stacy shifted next to me, letting out a grunt of disproval that had the yearlings turning back to face the stage.

Then, to my surprise, someone else settled on the pew.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, but Rigel didn't respond.

Catatonic, he stared blankly at the podium ahead of us.

Ephraim climbed the stage and began the usual rigmarole. The graduates crossed the stage to get their degrees first, followed by the yearlings who received their histories.

Despite my nervousness, I was irritated that I was being made to sit through the whole ceremony. Talk about insult to injury. You'd think they'd have the decency to chuck me through the door as a sort of warm up to the celebrations.

Instead, Ephraim got to the very end of the ceremony before saying, "We have one more thing on the agenda before I release you all to enjoy your summer."

Confusion settled over the crowd.

Rigel's hand came down on mine, squeezing hard. I tried to wriggle free, but stopped when I realized I could no longer see myself. He'd turned the both of us invisible.

"It's crucial that you remain calm," he whispered from the air beside me.

I was about to ask what he was going on about when a familiar shape appeared from the edge of the stage, coming to meet Ephraim at the podium.