Chapter 11

chapter

eleven

Graham

After Lizzie finished getting the kids settled into rooms, she finds me standing in my bedroom, pulling off my shirt.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says and turns.

“Don’t be. Come here.”

She turns and walks straight into my arms. “Thank you for all of this. Lydia was scared and I hate that so much. Why would he do that to her?”

“I don’t know, sugar. Some people never grow up, grow out of their own selfishness.”

“Will you just hold me for a little while?”

“Of course.” She climbs into my bed and after I’m in there with her, she cuddles close, resting her head on my chest.

“Every time I see him again, I’m reminded of what I fool I was. Like I told him, I’ll never regret being with him. I can’t. He gave me my kids and I don’t know who I’d be without them.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, sugar. Doesn’t make you a fool. I am a little curious, though, because of the age difference between the kids.”

She sighs heavily, her warm breath skating across my bare chest. I resist the urge to moan because this woman has me so tied in knots. Right now, though, she needs comfort.

“Billy and I started dating in high school. You know how that story goes. Young, stupid girl gets unexpectedly pregnant?”

“Young, yes, never stupid.”

“Anyways, he proposed—probably because his parents insisted on it—and I said yes. I wore his ring, and I thought I was so lucky to have found my forever that young.” She releases a humorless laugh. “Imagine how foolish I felt when I was at my baby shower, in his mother’s front parlor, no less, when I overheard two of the guests discussing how they’d both fucked him while I’d been pregnant.”

“Damn,” I say.

“Yep. They weren’t friends of mine, so I guess that made it a little better. My not-quite-mother-in-law tried, in vain, to make excuses for him. He’d settle down, etc. Etc. But I was done. I gave him back his ring, and we were done.”

I rub her back while she talks, and the feel of her in my arms is so damn right.

“For four years, we saw each other when he’d decide to come see Lydia. But that was it. Until one night he showed up, in tears, with the ring, begging me to get back with him. He’d changed, he was a one woman man, and I was the only one he’d ever loved, blah, blah, you get the picture. I was weak, we slept together. I didn’t put the ring back on, but we were a couple for a little while. He seemed like he was really trying. He had a job. He put together Bennett’s crib. He was on a work trip when I went into labor. But of course it wasn’t a work trip, it was a hook-up and I’m sure she wasn’t the only one.”

“I’m sorry, sugar. That couldn’t have been easy on you. Any of you. You’ve done incredibly with your kids. They’re just fantastic and smart. And I’m a professional, so you have to take my word for you. Lizzie, you are an amazing mom. An amazing person.”

“You’re the amazing one.”

We lay there in the silence for a while, just being with each other.

“You were so calm tonight. I needed that. I’m glad you came over. What exactly did you tell Billy?”

I chuckle. “I told him that I’d been a doctor for half my life and in medical school they teach you several things to avoid doing so you don’t accidentally kill someone. That I remembered all of them. And that more than half look like complete accidents.”

“You did not!” Her head pops up, her chin resting on my chest as she grins up at me.

In that moment, I’m sure of one thing, no matter what happens, I want to keep Lizzie and her kids in my life forever.

“I did.”

“Did he believe you?”

“Yeah. I think he pissed himself a little, which might have been the booze.” I laugh again.

“I can’t believe he believed that.”

“Oh, you don’t think it’s true? You don’t think I know how to dispose of someone and make it look like an accident?”

“What I know is that you’re the best man I’ve ever known and you could never bring yourself to that level of violence.”

“I don’t know, sugar, seeing him try to put his hands on you, hearing what he said to you.” I shake my head. “Made me so angry, I wanted to rip his fucking head off.”

She stares at me a moment, then shifts her body up and kisses me. It’s a relatively chaste kiss compared to the ones we’ve shared. She pulls back and looks down at me.

“Make love to me, Graham, please? Make me forget about him and the yuck from the night?”

My dick is already hard, probably from her snuggling against me, but maybe the kiss, too. If those two things hadn’t turned me on though, her words definitely would have.

“Are you sure?” I ask. “Don’t get me wrong, I want you more than anything. I’m sure you can see the tent in my pants.”

She giggles. “I can.” Then she crawls on top of me. “I can’t stand it anymore. Not being able to touch you. Not touching you myself.”

She straddles me, lowering her core to my lap where my dick is straining to reach her. She rocks herself against me.

“Do you still want me?” she asks.

“Fuck yes, I want you.” I rock my pelvis upward, dragging my erection across her clit.

“Graham, you know, I’m clean. I was tested for everything after Bennett and then again six months later, just to be sure.”

“What are you saying?”

“I want you to fuck me without a condom. I don’t want anything between us. I’m clean and I’m on the birth control shot now because I’m evidently super fertile.”

“I would laugh at that, but you asking me to take you bareback has short-circuited my brain.”

She pulls off her shirt and unhooks her bra.

“Should we lock the door?” I ask.

“They don’t normally wake up in the night, but since it’s a new place, then probably.” She rolls off of me and walks over to the door to close and lock it.

I pull back all the covers and take off my pants and boxers. She turns to walk back to me and her eyes are locked on my cock.

I grip it and give it a few strokes.

“You are so sexy,” she says. She comes closer then falls to her knees in front of me.

“You don’t have to do that,” I tell her.

“I want to. I want to feel the weight of you dick on my tongue and taste you.”

“Goddamn it, sugar, you’re going to kill me.” Since I’ve never been in an actual relationship, I can count the number of blow jobs I’ve had. One-night-fucks, yes. But there’s a level of vulnerability in letting someone put their mouth on you. So it’s not something I’ve allowed very often.

She wraps her hand around my shaft, then leans forward and swirls her tongue around the head.

“Lizzie, oh God, you have no idea how fucking beautiful you look on your knees like that.”

She sucks the head of my dick into her mouth and hollows her cheeks. I fight the urge to pump myself into her mouth. I thread my fingers into her blonde hair. Then she lowers her head, sucking more of me into her mouth.

“Oh fuck,” I whisper. “I’m not going to last long with you doing that. You feel incredible.”

She moans and the vibrations shoot pleasure up my spine. My balls tighten.

“Fuck. Lizzie.”

Her tongue works the underside of my dick and she fondles my balls and that’s all it takes to have me shooting my load down her throat.

Three words rise in my head and I nearly have to bite my tongue to keep them inside. Because I don’t know. Having a woman suck your soul out through your cock can seem a lot like bigger emotions. I’m not even sure I know what that feels like.

So instead, I pick her up, and she wraps about my body like a koala.

“That was amazing. Now it’s time for me to make you see stars.” I toss her on the bed. “Get naked, sugar.”