Chapter 32

Christian

Nearly a week after Addison’s surgery, I push open the familiar doors of the my father’s home, the weight of the unacknowledged letter heavy in my chest. Dana has been helping me spend time with Addison just out of the hospital until I can find a new nanny, and when I arrive, Dana’s sitting on the bed, skimming over a magazine. Addison is nestled against her, chubby fingers gripping a well-loved stuffed rabbit.

Addison looks up, her face brightening at the sight of me. “He he he he he,” she babbles.

Dana shakes her head gently. “No, sweetheart, Hailey isn’t here.” She lifts her gaze to mine, her expression hardening. “I can’t believe how you’ve screwed this up, Christian.”

“I know. I know,” I repeat. It feels like all I’ve been doing is confessing how badly I messed up, but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t bring her back. I clear my throat. “I’m trying to fix it. But she won’t talk to me. I was hoping maybe you could reach out to her? See if she’ll listen?” I hate how small and pathetic I sound, but I can’t help it.

Dana sighs. “You can’t expect me to clean up your mess. You need to figure this out. What is it you actually want?”

My heart sinks. Of course, she’s right. How could I expect her to fix this for me? She warned us both. This is my mess, my failure.

But what if I can’t fix it? What if it’s too late? Has Hailey already decided she’s done with me for good? The thought sends a fresh wave of panic through me. I can’t lose her.

“Please, Dana,” I say. “I just… I don’t know what else to do. I have to make this right. For Addison. For me.”

Dana’s lips press together, and for a moment, I think she might relent. But then she shakes her head, firm and final. “This is exactly why I didn’t want you to get involved with her.”

Turning away, I find my father in the doorway, his arms crossed, his brow furrowed with concern. He’s been standing there for how long? Watching me flounder?

He gestures for me to follow him, and even though my instincts scream to walk the other way, I find myself trailing behind him. I’m not sure I want to hear what he has to say.

“Talk to me,” he says when we reach his office. “What’s going on?”

“Dad, I…” My throat tightens, the words getting stuck behind a wall of pride. “I had an emotional reaction, and I screwed up,” I finally admit, the words scraping out like shards of glass. “I don’t know if I can fix it.”

He nods. “I know what it feels like to think you’re doing the right thing by pushing someone away. I always thought…it was better to let go than hurt you by fighting a war I didn’t think I could win.” His eyes drop to the desk between us. “But that doesn’t mean it was right. I let your mother take you because I thought it would be easier on you. But all I did was leave behind what mattered most.”

His eyes lift to meet mine. “I never wanted to walk away from you, Christian. And I see now that what’s best is fighting for the people you love, even when you think you might fail.”

This is what I’ve been missing, what I’ve been too blind to see. I’ve been so afraid of failing Addison—of failing Hailey, for that matter—and of not being enough, that I pushed her away.

“So, what do I do?” I ask. “How do I fix this?”

My father leans back in his chair. “You go to her. You tell her what you just told me. That you’re scared, that you’re not perfect, but that you’re willing to fight for her, for Addison, for your family. Make sure she knows you’re not going anywhere this time.”

“What if she doesn’t want this?”

“You don’t get to control that,” Dad says. “But you have to fight for what you want. I’ve seen the way she looks at you and Addison. She loves you both. You need to remind her.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I say, feeling a new kind of weight, one that’s not as crushing but still there. A responsibility. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

He gives me a nod, and I see it in his eyes. I can be the man Hailey needs.

“You win by trying,” he says. “Even when you don’t know if you’ll succeed.”

I swallow hard. He’s right. I’ve been running from this, from my own fear of failure, but running has only made things worse.

A long breath shudders out of me, and I close my eyes for a second. Maybe this is it. If I don’t go to her, if I don’t fight for her and the life we were creating together, I’ll never forgive myself.

Dana’s in the living room as I walk out, her eyes like steel, but when she sees me, something softens within them.

“I’m going to get Hailey back,” I tell her. “Can you watch Addison just a bit longer?”

Dana wraps her arms around me in an unexpected embrace. “I’m sorry for being so hard on you,” she whispers. “Hailey deserves someone who will fight for her, and maybe that really is you.”

I nod. Her words light a fire in my chest, burning away the remnants of doubt. I say my goodbyes, and with purpose in every step, I drive to the address the private investigator gave me, Hailey’s current home.

My heart hammers in my chest as I park and go inside, and it continues as I stand in front of Hailey’s door in the rundown executive apartment building. I stare at the worn wood, my hand trembling slightly as I raise it to knock. This is it. There’s no turning back now. I’ve rehearsed what I’ll say all the way here, but it feels inadequate, too small for the enormity of what I need to tell her.

The sound of my knock echoes down the hallway, impossibly loud in the silence. I hold my breath as I wait, tense with anticipation. Fear creeps in again, whispering that I’ve made a mistake, that she won’t want to hear what I have to say.

What if she doesn’t open the door? What if she’s done with me?

But before I can sink too deep into my doubts, the door swings open, and there she is—Hailey.

For a moment, everything stops. She’s standing in front of me, her eyes wide with surprise, and just seeing her takes the breath from my lungs. God, I’ve missed her. The way her hair falls around her face, the way her eyes search mine. It hits me all over again how much I love her, how much I’ve lost by pushing her away.

“Christian?” Her voice is soft, hesitant. “Is Addison okay?”

“She’s fine—”

“Then why are you here?”

The question is simple but so heavy. She deserves an answer, but how do I explain? My mouth feels dry, the words lodged in my throat. I try to steady myself, but there’s a desperation rising inside me, a need to make this right, to make her understand how sorry I am.

“Can I come in?” I ask, the plea evident in my voice. I don’t just want to be near her. I need to be near her. I need to see her, to explain, to beg for another chance, even if I don’t deserve it.

For a moment, she just stares at me, her fingers gripping the edge of the door. I can see the hesitation in her eyes, the uncertainty, and it tears me apart.

And then, she steps back, the door opening wider. Relief washes over me, but it’s tangled with fear because, now, there’s no running from this. No more walls to hide behind. This is it.

I step inside, my heart still pounding as I face her. The apartment is small and filled with cheap furniture and a faint musty smell.

Hailey crosses her arms. “What do you want?” she asks. There’s no anger in her voice, no bitterness. Just exhaustion. And that’s almost worse. It tells me how deeply I’ve hurt her, how tired she is of waiting for me to be the man she deserves.

I swallow hard. “I’m sorry,” I say. “For everything. For pushing you away. For blaming you when I shouldn’t have. For being too scared to let you in.”

Her eyes flicker, a tiny movement, but it gives me hope. Maybe she’s listening.

“I was an idiot,” I continue, my chest tightening as I pour out the words I’ve been holding back for so long. “I thought I was protecting you by keeping you at a distance. I thought I didn’t deserve you, and maybe I don’t, but I can’t lose you, Hailey. I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I’m so sorry for not showing you that when it mattered.”

The silence that follows is unbearable. I watch her face, searching for any sign of what she’s feeling, but her expression remains unreadable. My heart is in my throat, my pulse pounding in my ears. If she rejects me now, if she tells me it’s too late… I don’t know what I’ll do.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she takes a breath. “I don’t know if I can do this again. You hurt me. You blamed me for everything and threw me out like I didn’t matter,” she says softly.

I feel the sharp sting of regret deep in my chest. “I know,” I whisper. “I know I hurt you, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if you’ll let me. Just…please, give me another chance. I’ll be better. I’ll show you I can be the man you need.”

Her eyes meet mine, and for the first time, I see conflict there, the love she’s still holding on to warring with the pain I caused.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” she admits, her voice breaking slightly.

My chest tightens, but I force myself to speak. “I’ll earn it, Hailey. Every day, I’ll earn it. I’ll fight for you. I’ll fight for us.”

The tears in her eyes finally spill over, and she wipes them away, but it’s enough. It’s enough to tell me there’s still something between us, something worth saving.

Slowly, tentatively, she steps toward me, her arms still crossed as if to shield herself. “You don’t get to break my heart again,” she says, her voice quiet but firm.

I shake my head, my own eyes stinging with emotion. “I won’t. I swear, I won’t.”

And then, in the space between heartbeats, she takes the final step, and I reach for her, pulling her into my arms. The relief, the love, the fear—it all crashes over me at once, and I hold her tight, burying my face in her hair. “I love you,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “I love you so much.”

Her arms slowly uncross, and I feel them wrap around me, hesitant at first, but then tighter, as if she’s been waiting for this as long as I have. “I love you too,” she whispers, her breath warm against my neck, and it’s everything. It’s everything I didn’t know I needed.

Her lips find mine for a kiss that’s forgiveness and longing all wrapped into one.

With eager hands and hearts, we fumble, pulling at each other’s clothes, peeling away the layers between us. Each discarded garment is another step toward healing, toward becoming whole again. Her touch ignites every nerve ending, and I feel reborn under her fingertips.

I cradle her face in my hands, the warmth of her skin igniting a fire within me. Our lips part, and I taste the salt of her tears, the sweet urgency of her need. As we fall into the embrace of the bed, the world shrinks to the space where our bodies meet.

I move above her. My movements are tender, a silent promise to cherish every inch of her being, to right the wrongs with the gentlest touch.

Her fingers dig into my shoulders, her legs wrapping around me, drawing me closer, deeper. Her breath is hot against my ear, and she shifts beneath me, a silent plea for more than this languid rhythm.

“I can’t… Not like this…” Hailey gasps between ragged breaths. “I need you—hard and fast, now. We can have slow…later.”

The honesty in her words strikes a chord in me, awakening a fervent cadence. I nod. This isn’t just about physical release. It’s a reclaiming, a fierce connection that screams of life and passion and all the turbulent love that courses between us.

With a newfound urgency, I comply, my body moving in powerful, rhythmic thrusts. The sound of our union fills the room, and she meets every drive, a perfect counterpoint to my own relentless pursuit of the release that will send us toppling into oblivion together.

“Hailey,” I cry out, my voice a rough growl of devotion. In this moment, there’s no holding back. It’s all unleashed in the most primal of dances.

And later, when the world comes back into focus, when our breaths slow and our limbs entwine with the promise of forever, we will explore the depths of each other slowly, fully, with the reverence of a love that has been tested, broken, and forged anew. But for now, this is what we need, a fierce affirmation that we are alive and together.