Chapter 28

Steve

“Eliza, I’m so sorry,” I tell her. She’s staring off into space, seeming despondent. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know,” she replies, shaking her head. “It’s too much, and I told him that.”

I nod, unsure what else to say. I feel completely unmoored, so I can’t imagine what she’s feeling.

After a moment, she picks up her glass and downs the rest of the whiskey I poured her. “I think I’m going to lie down,” she tells me. “I need to get my head around this.”

I feel completely useless, and a little in awe of what it seems she’s just done. I’d like to understand better what she thinks is going to happen, but this doesn’t seem the time to pepper her with questions.

“I’ll leave you alone,” I promise, “but please let me know if there’s anything you need. I’m happy to talk whenever you’re ready.”

“Thank you.”

Eliza disappears, and I go to take a shower. I think I need time to get my head around this as well. I can’t believe her father would ask that of her. I’ve never wanted to marry. My parents’ dysfunctional relationship made it obvious that marriages don’t work, even when you go into them with the best intentions. Entering one under false pretenses is a recipe for disaster.

When my shower is complete, there’s still no sign of Eliza, so I pace in my bedroom, somehow trying to stay out of her way. It feels wrong to leave her—to go out with friends or something—but she’s asked to be alone, and I have to honor that.

I order some takeout and eat in front of the TV, hoping perhaps she’ll come join me, but she never appears. Eventually, I go to bed, alone, and spend a restless night wondering what my role is here.

When the sun breaks, I vow to check in with her and encourage her to let me help somehow, even if it’s just listening. But when I go to her room, it’s empty. The bed is neatly made, probably not even slept in. She must have left at some point last night. But where would she go?

Something like panic grips me as I realize I don’t have any idea where she might be. Is her condo at The Butterfly ready? I really hate that she’s gone.

It’s only when I return to my room that I see a note lying on the floor. My heart races. I pick it up and read with a mix of hope and fear.

My dearest Steven,

Thank you for the time we’ve spent together, and thank you for everything you were willing to do to support my dream. I hope you know that I care about you very deeply, and because of that, I won’t impose on you any longer. I wish you nothing but the best, always .

Yours, Eliza

My emotions cycle through me. How could she just leave? Maybe our fake relationship is done, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing between us. Or does it?

I sit down heavily on my bed. Without that framework to guide our actions, I realize I have no idea what we are…or how she really feels.

How do I really feel? I’ve not had to worry much about that, since I had a safe, temporary future with Eliza firmly in place until yesterday. And nothing has changed now that wasn’t eventually going to be this way anyway, right? I haven’t lost anything because it was never mine in the first place. I’m free. I’m ready to get back out there and have some fun. So why don’t I want to?

Instead, I feel empty. I miss Eliza. I need to figure out what that means.