Chapter 16

Kennedy – One Week Later

I stareat the yellow front door of my parent's house. The grass is overgrown, and bottles litter the lawn. I shake my head.

I didn't want to come here. I know my stuff is at Doc's…my Lucas's house; I saw it all a week ago before I left his place after we gave into our passion, his body firmly against mine, pleading me to climb back into bed.

"Please, don't go…" he whispers into my ear from behind me. The sun is coming up, and last night…it shouldn't have happened.

"I have to," I whisper back, causing his arm to tighten around me.

His lips touch my neck, and he rasps, "If you think I'm giving up on us, on you, then you have another think coming, baby. I'll fight to the death for you."

It took everything I had not to cry at that moment, especially when I saw all my stuff in his room. He means what he says, but he's still with Prue, and I know that's mainly my fault. I didn't check my surroundings when I buried Nick; my only thought was to save Lucas.

But he also shouldn't have gone along with it. I would have handed myself in or helped find the footage….

I blink back tears, looking at the house—the horror—I grew up in.

"How dare you talk back to me!" Momma screams, and I flinch.

"I-I didn't mean to, Momma. I-I just asked for-for a cuddle…" I sob, and her face turns red. Before I know it, I'm on the ground holding my head, blood pouring through my fingers. I scream as I look at Momma standing over me with a pan, and I try to get away from her, but I'm not quick enough. Her arm swings, and everything goes black.

I bite my bottom lip. I was seven when she hit me with an object instead of her firsts for the first time. I'd had a bad day at school; Lola wasn't in, and the mean girls took their chance to bully me for my unwashed clothes.

I hadn't managed to give them to Aunt Shelly to wash; Momma locked me in the closet that weekend.

All I wanted was a cuddle from my momma, and she accused me of talking back when she told me to go clean the kitchen. When I woke up, I was in the closet again.

Now, I tilt my head as the front door opens, and Momma comes into view, looking a mess. Her hair is greasy, make-up is smudged over her face, and she is wearing lingerie.

She sneers at me, "Finally, come crawling back home after leaving us in the lurch? What, did they decide you suck." She grins at her words, but her grin soon disappears when I smirk.

I have a theory, and I'm here to confirm it. If Prue was obsessed with Lucas for as long as we think she has, then she knows all about my past. She would have done her digging and known the one person who would love to see me drown.

Jealousy can be a bitch.

"Actually, Momma, I've been offered a full-time job with accommodation in both Huntersville and New York. I got voted the best in the program," I goad, hoping she falls for it. "I thought I'd come let my parents know, but I guess you"re still bitter that I'm living the life you wanted so badly, huh?"

Her eyes blaze with anger.

Ijustsmile and remark, "You know the best thing about no longer living at home, Momma?" Her nostrils flare, and my grin grows. "No longer living up to your expectations. I no longer have to pay you, I no longer have bruises or end up in the closet, and more importantly…." I smirk at this last bit, and state, "I no longer have to hide my time with my cousin." Her eyes widen in shock, her body stilling, and I chuckle. "Uncle Chris was amazing to me growing up, even ensured I had a dorm room paid for when I went to college. He definitely was the better sibling."

She steps out the door and growls, "You little?—"

I tut, "Ah, ah, ah, Momma, think of your precious beliefs here. If Grams and Gramps heard you talk like this, they'd cut you off and give their fortune to me and Alex. Oh wait…." I tilt my head. "They already did; the lovely amount of $100,000 gaining interest in my account daily."

The same amount I've actually donated to a charity that helps mothers struggling with infant loss. The gained interest I got over the years is a safety net if I ever need it.

I smile, staying near the truck I borrowed from the club, refusing to drive the Range Rover Lucas bought me. I'm waiting for Momma to explode, waiting for her to give me what I want.

"Come on, Momma, take the bait," I mumble to myself as her eyes blaze with anger. I wait for her ego to pull through—the ego that has gotten the best of her for years, the ego that has cost her everything.

And the ego that pulls through now.

"You think you"re so perfect, don't you, huh, little bitch. After everything I've given up for you, I deserve that money; it's rightfully mine!" Yeah, we both know it wasn't me that caused her downfall; it was her ego, the same ego giving me what I want as she continues, "but you're just like me, Kennedy." I raise a brow. "I've got a little video inside. You can pretend you"re better than me, but the day you buried him is the day you turned into me."

Bingo.

I nod at Momma, and turn to the truck, before looking over my shoulder one last time.

I state, "You were the one who had a guy pay to take your seventeen-year-old daughter"s virginity. You tried to have me raped while I, Mother, tried to save the man I love. I'm nothing like you, and growing up around the club without you knowing, I became the person I am today. Enjoy your sad life, Momma."

With that, I climb into the truck and drive away, my heart in my throat, hoping Prue paid her enough, most likely using Lucas' money, to keep her mouth shut about my coming here and her letting the truth slip.

If anything, she'll go inside and drink herself stupid, and forget I came here at all.

About a mile from Momma's, I pull over and grab my phone. I'm due to fly out tomorrow, needing to get back to my program after spending the week with Noah who hasn't wanted me to leave, but this is something I needed to do. I've kept away from Lucas all week, him being everywhere I am, while Prue was everywhere he was, wearing his cut, smirking.

He owns me, this week with him near is proof of that, but he still chose her, even if it was to protect me, he still chose her…and I kept him from mourning his daughter.

Too much hurt, too much pain.

I bring up the number I need, and call it. He answers after the fourth ring.

"Hey, Kenny girl,"

I smile at the sadness in his voice, "Still nothing from Brook?"

Tech sighs. "Nah, darling. And as you know, when the ex is still hanging around, she won't listen."

I sigh, knowing he's right, and clear my throat. "I, uh, know where Prue hid the footage."

He's quiet for a moment before he stutters, "H-how in the…I mean, how?"

I chuckle. "I didn't think like a brother, Tech, I thought like a woman who would do everything for a man who doesn't want her. She's been obsessed with Lucas?—"

He cuts in, "Does Doc know you"re back to calling him Lucas?"

I narrow my eyes, jackass.

"No, he doesn't, so shush," I say, making him chuckle before I continue, "I figured if she was that obsessed, then who better to stalk?"

He mutters, "The girl he loves."

I hum and say, "Yeah. Tech…my home life wasn't great. Uncle Chris and Aunt Shelly are the only reasons I survived. Prue paid Momma to keep the video footage. She has it, and if I know Momma, it'll be in the bathroom."

"Fuck," he growls, and I nod. He knows about my connection with Breaker because, well, he's Tech, he knows all, but he never knew how I grew up. No one did.

"I'll get it sorted, darling. I promise. Fuck, I can't believe…your own mother."

I sigh and admit, "I had a gut feeling and went with it, but you need to watch the house; make sure she's not in when you go in. She has a shotgun near the front door," I offer, looking out of the window. "If Lucas had told me a year ago, maybe this never would have happened."

He sighs. "Kenny girl, he thought he was doing what was right. He knew you'd turn yourself in, and don't deny it. I can guarantee you've thought of it several times before your gut instinct took over." Well, he's got me there. "Kennedy, he's not been the same since you left.

My tears fall, and I rasp, "I haven't been the same, either…."

"Yet you're dating someone," he accuses, reminding me of Austen, and I sigh.

"Tech, I haven't slept with anyone but Lucas. Yes, I'm seeing Austen; he's a nice guy who I met through my tattoo artist, but we're casual. My skin burns whenever he holds my hand or puts his arm around me. I start to itch, I just…."

"You love Doc…" he states.

"I do," I reply. "But he made her his old lady. He hurt me, and I know now he did it to protect me, I get that, but I can't just brush that hurt under the rug." I pick at the steering wheel and murmur, "Did you know Prue cornered me two days ago?"

He sucks in a breath. "Whatever the bitch has said, she's fucking wrong, Kennedy. Don't let that bitch get in your head."

I smile. "I know. She tried saying she was staying in his house, and he was screwing her every day. I knew she was lying, Tech, but it still hurt. She's wearing his cut."

He sighs. "We brothers, we like to fuck up, don't we?"

I chuckle and remind him, "Tats didn't," making him groan, and I laugh because we both know Tats and Violet were always end game. They came together by themselves, kept their relationship between them, and grew strong.

They're end game, and something I wish I had with Lucas.

We spent the next ten minutes reviewing a plan for him to grab the footage. He gave me a break from his lecture about Lucas, before I hung up and headed to the school to pick up Noah. I promised to spend my last night with him, and I have movies and snacks waiting at Aunt Shelly's.

The next day, I smile as the brothers follow me outside the club, waving me off as Smokey drives me to the airport, my heart in my throat.

A part of me knows I should speak to Lucas, but the part that was hurt wants to run, and that's what I'm doing. There's just too much pain between us, and taking the job in New York is probably for the best.

Even if it hurts, maybe he can move on with his life…. Bile rises at the thought, my heart cracking.

I know we could maybe get through the Prue drama. I understand why he did it, even if he should have told me his reasons, but I don't know how we can get through my trauma and the loss of our….

Smokey clears his throat. "He's not going to give up on you, darling."

I shake my head. "He has an old lady, Smokey, and we both know how sacred they are to the club."

He hums and says, "You're reaching, and you know you are," before he pulls over, making me furrow my brows.

I ask, "Smoke, what are you doing?"

He nods to his mirror and rasps, "He's not giving up on you, even though you have given up on him, which I am extremely disappointed in you for."

I flinch at his harsh words, knowing they are true. I turn to look behind us and see Lucas pulling up on his bike.

"He loves you, Kennedy, and I have to watch him tear himself apart every day. I know he hurt you, and I know why; he finally told us everything, and darling, if I had it my way, I would have tied you up by now. You shouldn't be leaving, you should be fighting for him and bringing the bitch down." I shake my head at his words. He whispers, "You love him, Ken. Everyone can see it, but you're using his hurting you to protect you as an excuse. What are you really running from, sweetheart?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, hating that he's seen through me. I climb out of the truck and I slowly walk toward Lucas as he grabs something from the truck bed.

"My dearest Pixie," he rasps, holding a box full of envelopes. When I stop near the foot of the truck, and he continues, "All week you've ignored me, you didn't give me the time of day, and I had to watch you from afar when all I wanted was to hold you. I felt like I was dying this week, baby, after finally feeling alive again. Now I have to watch you leave, knowing there's a chance you could stay in New York." He moves toward me and murmurs, "All I ask, though, is that you read the letters I wrote for you before you make up your mind. I love you, your Lucas."

He gently places the box in my hands as tears slip from my eyes.

He cups my cheek, his thumb rubbing along my jaw. "If you stay in New York, Pixie, then I will be relocating. I've already told Snake, and I'm warning you now, baby, fucking end it with that guy. You're mine and I'm yours."

With that, he kisses my lips gently before going back to his bike. We make eye contact, nothing but pain shining through those eyes of his as he revs his bike. He spins around, heading back to the club, and I watch him go with my heart in my throat.

He'd leave the club for me….

I stand here for a few minutes, my body wanting to run after him, but I know I can't. Sniffling, I walk to the truck, and climb in. Smokey raises a brow and asks, "What's that?"

I swallow hard, ignoring his words, and pick up a random letter. I open it, reading out loud.

"My Dearest Pixie,

You've been gone for a month, a whole month, and I feel like I can't breathe.

I feel like I've lost a part of myself. I feel numb.

It doesn't matter what I do to try to feel; nothing works. I wrecked my bike for the second time, and still nothing.

Please come back to me, Pixie, please.

I love you.

Your Lucas x."

I sob as Smokey grips my knee, muttering, "Fuck, please tell me all those letters are not like that?"

I shake my head, grabbing another random one and quickly open it, hoping they aren't, but I'm proved wrong. My body shakes reading his words as Smokey curses, reading over my shoulder, not realizing how bad his brother got, the pain he felt without me, how close he was to giving up, just like I was….

Oh God, what did I do?

My Dearest Pixie,

I can't breathe, baby, I can't fucking breathe.

I decided to go for a ride. I didn't look at the speedometer, I just rode, everything passing me in a blur, your eyes all I could see. I guess I passed Dad in the club's truck. He called me with Shelly, who was screaming for me to slow down.

They asked if I was trying to kill myself, and I guess at that moment, a weakened moment, I was.

Axel, the Untamed Prez, and Snake both showed up at some point in the blur, and my dad was shouting for me.

I wrecked my bike again, baby. I woke to Shelly crying over my body.

I know I'm worrying them, hurting them, but I can't live without you, Pixie.

Why did you have to do it, huh? Why did you have to try to save me? I finally had you, finally felt whole, and now it's all gone.

Come back to me, Kennedy, please.

I love you.

Your Lucas x