Chapter 9

Doc – Seven Months Later

I gently rub my neck,my fingers lightly running over her name.

I feel numb, so fucking numb. Seven months, and we still can"t find the video. A part of me believes Prue hasn"t got anything else, but as Tech has said, we can"t fucking chance it. We have connections in the club, just not that high up, and we all know Kennedy will take the fall for me. As much as she hates me, she loves me, and I was too blind to see it over the years.

Flame, the hacker from the Untamed Hell Fire's MC, has also got involved, and still fucking nothing.

I feel like I"m a bomb waiting to explode.

I look around my house. I"m sitting on the couch. Over the past few months, I"ve had to replace two couches and three coffee tables, my anger getting the best of me when, with my job as a doctor, I should be the calmest fucking person going. My right arm is scarred to shit after my wreck, and my bike, well, Sniper, fixed it four times. That"s how many times I"ve wrecked it, and that"s why my arm is fucked up, but hey, at least I can still use it.

I can"t control my anger anymore; everything makes me snap.

Tech has had to take me into the ring several times. He"s a bare-knuckle fighter, and it"s a good way to relieve the tension.

I fucking miss my girl.

For the first three, maybe four months after she left, I didn"t hear a peep from her, and as far as the brothers are concerned, I still haven"t heard from her.

When she first called, fuck, I think I stopped breathing. It was two in the morning, and panic hit me. When I answered it, all I heard was her sobs, and it broke me. I pleaded with her to talk to me, I told her how much I fucking loved her, but all she did was cry harder, and I never felt so fucking helpless.

I stayed on the phone until her sobs stopped, and she fell asleep to my voice. I continued to stay on the phone until I fell asleep, and woke to a dead cellphone.

I keep my eyes on the picture of my girl on my mantel. I"m off work today and tomorrow, and I hate it. When I"m working, I"m busy; my mind is busy. When I"m at home, all I see is her. This whole house was built with her in mind, and she didn"t even know it.

My phone rings, making me blink, and I sigh, knowing it"s most likely Prue. The woman isrelentless,wanting me in bed, but there"s only one girl my head, heart, and fucking cock want, and she"s God knows where. Tech stated he knows where she is, but I"ve already pushed her away andneed her to come to me on her terms.

Showing up at her new place and dragging her back will further push her away, especially with Prue on the scene.

Fuck, we need to find that evidence!

Shaking my head, I lean forward and grab my cracked phone, expecting to see it"s the bitch, only for my heart the leap.

The caller ID reads: My Pixie

Fuck yes. Several times a week, she"ll call. She won"t say anything, but I know it"s her, even with a new number. I tried to Facetime her, but she never accepted, which means this is what I have to be happy with, hoping my words and stories will bring her back home to me.

"Hey, Pixie," I rasp, and of course, she doesn"t speak. I hear her sniffle, and I fucking hate it. I sigh, sitting back, "I take it you"ve had a bad day, baby?" I look at the photo on the coffee table of her sitting cross-legged, her head back as she smiles at the sky. "You know, a part of me believes you"ve taken the job for that program in New York, and if you have…fuck am I proud of you."

She sniffles again, confirming my suspicions. For months I"ve had to play the perfect old man to the bitch, and for months, my sister has barely said two words to me, just like she promised she wouldn't when I begged her to tell me where my Pixie had gone. All while I live for these calls.

I know I could tell Lola about this, about my girl calling me several times a week, but right now, I need this just between us. If I know Lola, she"ll try to get in touch with Ken and ensure Ken never contacts me again. I won"t have that. After that, Lola"ll out me to the club out of spite for taking her best friend from her.

I smile a little. "You have a heart of gold, Kennedy. Working with preemies and babies that have lifelong illnesses, you knew you would find it hard, but this was the dream, Pixie. You"re the strongest person I know, and the best person for the job, even if I feel like I"m dying without you."

I sigh when I hear a rustle. If past calls have proved anything, she"s about to hang up, and I hurry to admit, "The house I built on club land…it"s your home, Kennedy. I knew this was your dream home, and I built it for you. I love you, baby."

With that, she hangs up and, well, hello, anger. How are you?

I throw my phone, hitting my flat-screen TV, smashing both, before I rest my head in my hands and breathe hard.

I wait a few minutes, trying not to destroy my living area again, then I sit forward and pull the box from underneath the coffee table. The box contains over two hundred letters written for my Pixie.

I grab a piece of paper and a pen, and write to her again, wishing she was in my arms.

My Dearest Pixie,

I broke the TV again. You called, and you were crying. I can"t fucking stand it when you cry, baby; it guts me. My instincts are to grab a hold of you and not let you go, but you"re living your life, living your dream. I know you didn"t confirm it, but it"s obvious.

Claudia misses you. She didn"t confirm that you"re in New York, but she did say you were the best nurse in the hospital, and ready for greatness, and she"s right.

I want to fly out and plead, no, beg, for you to understand my reasons for what I"m doing, but I also know you need this, even if I do miss you.

Pixie, things aren"t the same without you; I feel like I"ve lost half of myself.

I need you, Ken, so fucking much.

I love you.

Your Lucas x

The next morning, I"m sitting in church, not listening. My mind going over every person Prue is in contact with. She"s too fucking comfortable and happy, and for someone who apparently lost a baby, she"s sure enjoying life.

I grunt when my phone rings, quickly trying to find it under the pile of paperwork I have on my desk at the club. I've been trying to go through the club"s finances as treasurer but failing, my mind too busy hoping Ken will call.

My hands frantically move along the desk, my hope building that it's my girl, when I grip the device and quickly look at the screen. I groan when I see it"s the cunt who has gone to visit family for a few days.

"What do you want, Starlight?" I growl into the phone, not giving a shit that she no longer goes by the name.

The bitch quit her job immediately after I gave her the cut; a cut that no one has noticed, including Prue, is fake. My dad ordered a cheap one online. The proper cut is at my home. It"s Kennedy's; it always has been.

Fuck, her nickname is sewn on front of it.

"Doc…" Prue sobs, and I sigh, waiting for her dramatics. She"s apparently nineteen weeks pregnant; funny enough, she hasn"t gained any weight. She still looks as small as she fucking did with a tiny pouch formin,g like she's eaten too much shit, and I don"t know why, but my gut to screaming at me.

She"s about to claim miscarriage, I just fucking know it.

"I-I lost our daughter, Doc. She-she"s gone," she cries.

Shocker.

I put her on loudspeaker and bring up my chat with Tech as she continues, "I-I had to push her out and bury-bury her." I don"t say anything, letting her continue her sobbing, knowing she"ll fuck up. She trying to act hysterically, which means she'll slip. "He, he was so small, Doc, so small, and he-he looked so much like you." she continues, and I smirk.

Fucking gotcha.

Me: fucking called it. She"s claiming miscarriage. She says she"s buried the baby. One minute, it was a girl, the next, a boy.

I take her off speaker, put the phone back to my ear, and ask, "Where have you buried her?"

I raise a brow, waiting for her to correct me, but instead, she clears her throat and whispers, "I"ve buried her in my hometown today. I-I knew you were working."

I hum and state, "If it was my child, Starlight, I would want to be there and you know that. Yet, you've apparently done all of this behind my back. Now, where have you buried him."

I change the gender again, and she starts to cry yet again, acting heartbroken. "I-I…. I"ve just buried my baby boy, Doc! This is all Kennedy"s fault, and your love for her, yeah, that"s why I lost her! I lost our baby…."

With that, she hangs up, and I chuckle. I fucking knew she was never pregnant. Not only can she not get the gender right, but she blew me off about where she"s buried it.

Honestly, she got me with the blackmail, I don't know why she's trying to continue the ruse.

My phone makes a noise, and I check it to see Tech has messaged back.

Tech: She"s tried to fucking play you. I"ll check the burial and hospital records, but I don"t think she was pregnant. She used that to keep you tied to her, even though you were never hers, and when that didn"t work, she used the footage.

I growl, dropping my phone, my anger taking over again as I swipe everything off my desk, breathing hard. We need to find that fucking footage so I can then kill the bitch and kidnap my girl.

"Doc, you doing alright?"

I come out of my head and look at Snake, and give him a half smile. I lie out of my ass, "Yeah, these shifts are just kicking my ass."

He nods before calling me out on my shit, frustrating me, "She"ll call, brother."

Fuck…. I hate lying to my brothers, especially my prez, but I know I have to. I chuckle darkly, shaking my head, and admit, "I claimed another woman after taking Ken's virginity; I don"t think she will." I sit forward, running my fingers through my hair, my neck tingling with my girl"s name, and lie, "I just, fuck, I just want to know that she"s doing okay. That I didn"t fucking destroy her life. I know I shouldn"t have slept with her before breaking things off with Prue, but I just...."

Full pain slices through me as some of the truth hits me hard, knowing I most likely did destroy her a little…because I destroyed myself.

I don't fucking regret sleeping with her, though.

Sniper clears his throat, wincing before admitting, "She"s good brother."

Ah fuck. I make eye contact with my dad, who knows everything, and winces, knowing I need to blow up despite knowing she's most likely messaged him or emailed.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate lying to my brothers, keeping this a secret, and I hate fucking kicking off with them.

I whip my head his way, playing the part, demanding, "How would you know?"

Sniper winces again, and every brother slides down their seats a little, making Snake mouth "Pussies' to them, none of them denying it. I have to try and swallow my laughter.

"She"s been in contact with me," he announces, and I glare at him. I thought she only messaged him but he's making it sound like they've spoken. I know she"s calling me, but she"s fucking talking to him. Seriously?

Knowing I"m on a short fuse, he puts his hands up in defense. "Don"t look at me like that; you know I was close to her. She"s like the sister I always wanted my brother to be." Snake snorts at his words, but my anger heightens because he gets to hear her voice and I don"t.

"She seems happy, Doc. She loves her new job and has made some friends. You need to let her go, brother. You chose Prue; you gave her your cut, you publicly claimed her in front of Ken, and you didn"t even warn her. You took the pussy way out, and you know you did, brother." Sniper shakes his head and sighs, while I shout in my head that she isn"t fucking happy, that I had to do it that way.

Snake questions, "Brother?" Sniper looks at his blood brother, giving him a sad smile.

"She"s cutting us all off."

I stand, knocking my chair over, my eyes going to my dad, who silently tells me to try and stay calm as Sniper says, "She wants nothing to do with us, the club, her parents, or Lola." He swallows hard. "She blocked my number last week. She"s done with this part of her life."

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I have her new number, but they don"t fucking know that.

Playing the part, I admit as I grip my hair, "I don"t even fucking know if Prue was pregnant to begin with, let alone "miscarried'. I just needed some fucking time to figure shit out!"

Snake snaps, "What the fuck, Lucas? You"re a doctor. How in the hell do you not know if she miscarried? Weren"t you fucking there? She was nineteen weeks pregnant, so she would have had to give birth, right?"

I wince. Fuck when he finds out the truth, he"s going to fucking shoot me, then bury me with that fucker Nick.

I shake my head and say, "I"ve never seen proof. She was gaining weight, and her stomach was rounding a little, but she never let me check it out myself. She was supposed to be roughly four months pregnant, but I hadn"t been to one appointment or scan. She brought the scan photo to me, and I was fucking floored. She said she was just too excited to wait. When she "lost" the baby, she said she gave birth at home and buried it in the cemetery in her hometown, four hours away, but refused to tell me where, and blamed my feelings for Ken as the reason why she miscarried. Tech couldn"t find anything in her medical records about a pregnancy or her giving birth, and each time I bring it up, she gets suicidal. She"s still fucking living in my apartment in town."

And that is the truth. She wants me in her bed because knows if she ends up knocked up for real, she can"t claim me as the father. I"ve been trying to find out exactly where she was staying when all this shit started, because maybe, just fucking perhaps, that"s where the proof is.

I need to kill the bitch and bring my girl home.

Snake narrows his eyes at me. "So basically, she"s holding a barrel over your head."

I give him a sharp nod and admit, "She keeps trying to get me to fuck her, wanting to "try again," but I won"t. I haven"t touched her since before she came back and said she was pregnant. I haven"t touched any woman."

The brother"s growl, and Snake points at me. "You need to sort yourself out, brother; you and Tech need to do some more digging, deeper this time. Prue knew your feelings for Ken; she"s worked for us for a while. Something doesn"t fucking sit right here."

I nod and rasp, "Kennedy."I'm worried for her safety, ready to fully admit everything, but Sniper interrupts.

"I"ll keep trying to get through to her. She can"t block every number I use. In the meantime, let"s get to the bottom of this shit, brother; you have no chance of winning her back if Prue is still in the picture."

I look at Dad, who sighs but shakes his head, knowing we need more time, and with that, I zone out the rest of church.

I need my fucking girl back.