Chapter Thirty-Six

Breakfast was the perfect time to gather the team. People who were struggling with jet lag like I was had woken up hours before and those who had spent the previous day enjoying Sri Lanka could not stay out that late anyway. Whatever they'd spent the last few hours doing, that moment was the perfect time for their morning smoothie.

A wide terrace was booked for us, shaded by white sail-like drapes. A beautiful wooden table was laden with various fruits, the colors mixing in an intricate palette. As I was almost the first to arrive, I took a seat facing the ocean. Gentle waves decorated the aquamarine waters with foam. In the next few minutes, the rest of the team joined me.

Jessica looked as though she had decided against going to bed the previous night, spending the night with those who partied, and she now battled the worst hangover. It was okay, we were on a mini-vacation anyway. Olga sat by my side and was composed like always. I bet she hit the gym around the time I went to meet the sunrise. Dave was looking at the water and smiling, his hair was still damp from a morning swim. The rest were in various stages of pumped up energy and bliss.

I heard a familiar voice and within seconds Benjamin appeared with the waiter, murmuring directions. He stopped in front of the table and everyone looked up. Jessica's eyes widened as she took in the shape of our new CEO. He was tall, broad-shouldered, and his dark eyes shone under the Sri Lankan sun as he looked at each of us. Finally, a warm smile appeared from under his bushy beard.

"So nice to finally meet you all," he said. He was wearing a white linen shirt and matching pants, looking more like a health coach than the CEO of the largest technology company in the world.

He plopped onto the chair, one still vacant on his right, and slid his hand over his shaven head.

"Hope everything is fine," Benjamin said to a low murmur of agreement. "How do you like Sri Lanka so far?" he asked no one in particular.

There was a bit of silence before Dave leaned on the table and gestured around.

"This is heaven, man."

Benjamin looked at Dave and laughed. "It truly is."

And after that everyone relaxed, conversation slowly building around the table.

Some talked about what they had done the day before and some hungrily chugged smoothies, as Benjamin slowly made his way around the table shaking hands.

I was talking to Olga about the latest feature we had added to the app before merging, and how we barely had time to collect the data on it, when Benjamin turned to the entrance and his face shone with a smile.

"Here she is," he said, beaming. "Meet my Muse."

And I was falling.

My heart stopped beating, and then resumed with full force as it dropped to the cold stone floor. It ached.

She was different now, her hair shorter, stopping just above her shoulders, but she was still so beautifully blonde. Her body was leaner, the muscles on her arms more pronounced. She was wearing a flowy white dress, which rustled on the breeze.

"Alice," I whispered.

At the same time, Benjamin kissed her, their lips connecting for a brief moment.

And right after that she turned to the table and looked directly at me. Her deep gray eyes were the same, and they bore right to my core. They widened the moment they connected with mine, and she gave the slightest nod.

A web of delicate lines formed at the corners of her lips, making her look just a little bit sad. She was still so fiercely beautiful.

My throat closed. I stood, slowly picking my shattered heart up from the floor, and excused myself, while Benjamin slowly introduced her to everyone around the table.

My knees were made of lead, and my fingers shook so hard when I tried to open the door to the restroom that I had to steady my tremble with my other hand. Finally, the handle gave way and I clicked the door shut behind me.

I stood watching the closed door, noting every crevice as my heart screamed, as my mind slowly shut. Alice.

Alice was there, right there outside.

For a minute my body forgot how to work. My lungs refused to take a breath, my balance shifted, my body slowly slid to the floor.

My heart that had sung so happily just that morning remembered the pain in a second, the pain, and before that the all-consuming love. I remembered that love when I looked at her.

God, I had loved Alice so much, so purely, so selflessly before. Before she left me. And Jake. A tremble jerked me against the door as I remembered his face. I remembered it as clearly as I had seen Alice's just moments before. The pain at the memory was razor sharp. I struggled to keep my body from shaking even more.

I gagged and scrambled to the basin, hoping that my body would be cleansed from the pain. But nothing came. Nothing but a shattering pain.

How was it possible? How was she there?

Alice. My Alice.

I looked up at the mirror. My skin was pale with a bluish tint. She was never my Alice, was she? Never.

I noticed in the mirror as my hand moved to my face, to cover my eyes. She knew I was here, she had looked directly at me. What did it mean?

My fingers were pressed into my eyelids.

Oh, God.

My mind kept piecing together the truth while my heart ached. The sale and merger of our app was too good to be true in the beginning. We wondered why they chose us, a small company, to acquire. It wasn't because our product was unique, it was done with meticulous care, yes, but there were much bigger and more widely known apps. We thought that they were buying us to grow and outgrow the competitors. And I was so proud of it.

But after that, remembering how Alice had just looked at me. She knew. How long had they been together? How much did she influence Benjamin? Did she ask him to look into our small company? Did she point to a particular app that would be of interest?

Finally, my fingers released my eyelids. And that same hand fumbled in the pocket of my pants, finally closing around my phone.

I unlocked it and dialed Arthur.

There was no video this time.

"Hey," he answered. "Please don't brag about how the fruit is too fresh and the sun is too warm. I spent the whole day in a stifling office with the Japanese."

"Alice is here." It was all I could say.

"What? Who?"

There was a bit of shuffling and then it stopped.

"Bloody hell," Arthur said.

That was so British of him.

"She knew I would be here, Arthur. She knew. I saw it in her eyes. There was no surprise, as though she was ... I don't know, waiting."

"Shit," he said again. "Where are you now?"

"Bathroom. Gagging, trying to breathe, and feeling so damn manipulated."

"What do you mean?"

"I think she had a hand in our company merger. In the whole deal. You should have seen how the CEO looks and talks about her. He calls her his Muse."

Arthur snorted. "His Muse? Now that's a cliché. I guess she's the one pulling the strings then."

"What should I do, Arthur? I don't want to be here. I don't want to deal with it, with her. I don't want to poke around in the past. I was finally, finally ready to move on. I was happy."

"You were?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"I hope that was solely because of me," he said, his voice lighter.

"Partially, maybe."

He breathed out loudly. "You're not feeling well if you're agreeing with me. I was waiting for the usual retort about my smugness. And now you"re saying that … Damn, I'm so sorry. Can you get away? I can book you the next available flight home. You'll curl up under the blanket in your cozy apartment and forget about everything. Or you'll drive, drive with open windows, so the wind can blow away all your worries."

I smiled. He knew what I liked.

"Drive for sure," I said quietly. "But I can't. My team needs me. They need my help. They all worked so hard for this, and they are so proud. I can't take it from them."

He was silent for a second.

"Do you think she'll try to get you back?" Arthur asked.

I snorted. "They are engaged, the CEO and her. I have no idea what her plan is, and what all of this means."

"I guess you'll find out soon," he said quietly. Arthur cleared his throat. "Just imagine you are driving that winding road. The wind is ruffling your hair, the beast of your car is murmuring beneath you. It all will be over soon, you'll be home in just seven days."

With you, I thought and finally smiled a little.

"Thank you, Arthur," I said.

I heard as he took a drag of his cigarette and I remembered that smoky smell of him. Smoking was bad, and he said he would stop soon, but there was something meditational in the way he held the cigarette between his long fingers. Exquisite. I imagined him in that moment.

He cursed so elaborately, so Britishly, that I could not understand half of the words he said. I laughed.

"That was perfect," I said, chuckling, "you need to teach me."

"I was just explaining my view on the situation," he said.

I giggled again.

"Just call me anytime, and I mean literally any time. And if at any moment you think it's too much, I will get you a ticket back that same moment."

"Thank you, Arthur," I said again, and I meant it.

"Always," he just replied.

When I put my phone away, I looked back at the mirror. My usual skin color had returned, my eyes were not looking as haunted, and my lips turned back to rosy instead of bluish.

I took a deep breath and stepped back out onto the terrace, where everyone had missed my departure, except the pair of stunning gray eyes, which followed my every move.