Chapter One

The neon sign of the Sapphire Duck bar loomed at the end of the street. I pulled my jacket tighter to stop the unusual chill of an early September night.

People stood outside, smoking, laughing, hugging. I could hear the roar of voices and music inside. I dragged myself to that place every Friday, trying to socialize. Miranda said I needed it, but every time the cacophony of noise offended my senses and I was reminded how much I preferred silence.

I pushed the greasy door open and spotted them immediately. Brian's arm was draped over the chair Miranda sat on, her head thrown back in a laugh. Brian was chuckling, and she pressed her forehead to his shoulder, just for a second.

Every Friday I watched how those two lived in a separate world made only of them, oblivious to everything around. I got to see how comfortable they were in each other"s arms.

"Emily!" Miranda cried when she saw me and rushed to my side.

In a second, she had draped her arms around me and tugged me to the table. Brian smiled and scooted over to free a place for me.

"Beer?" he asked, standing up.

I nodded. "Thanks."

"No one is here tonight, yet," Miranda said. "How's your new room, by the way?"

Miranda and I had been roommates for the first three years of university, but for the final year, she and Brian had decided to rent a small house off-campus, which left me with the prospect of a new roommate, and I just couldn't handle that at that time. I started working part-time in a bookshop to allow myself a separate room.

"Quiet as a cave," I said. "I like it that way."

"Of course you do," Miranda said, a small shadow darkening her features for a moment.

I knew that look. It was not pity; it was worry. Miranda understood me best. She had seen how I had crumbled the year before, and she stayed by my side, guiding me, helping me to find a way back.

"Here you go," Brian said as he set three glasses down in front of us.

I wrapped my fingers around the icy jug. It was a nice distraction from the stifling hot air of a bar. I took a gulp; the bitter liquid was freezing on my tongue.

Miranda leaned closer. "So, we finally booked our plane tickets to Canada," she said, her voice raised trying to be heard over the buzz.

"It's time for my doom," Brian said, and I laughed.

"My parents are going to love you, you'll see," she retorted.

"Or hate me and will ban you from seeing me," Brian shot back, taking a sip of beer.

He put the glass down and looked up, to my right.

"No way," he mumbled and stood up.

"What …" Miranda said, confused, but he was already elbowing his way through the crowd to the entrance.

I looked back to where Brian was going just to see him stopping in front of a tall guy in a white shirt. In a second Brian's face lit up and they embraced warmly, both laughing.

"Who is that?" I asked Miranda, who eyed the encounter with a suspicion.

"I have no idea."

I shrugged and took one more numbing gulp of beer. Honestly, I hated the taste. I was not a fan of this place either. It was a sticky, weird-smelling bar close to the campus where Miranda and Brian insisted on meeting with friends. They said they liked the vibe.

"Girls, meet Jake," Brian said right behind me.

Before turning to Brian, I registered how Miranda's eyes grew wider when she faced the stranger. I twisted back and froze.

My eyes met with the dark blue of high seas for a moment before they turned away to Miranda. The man had a light brown wavy shag, light skin, and the warmest smile. He was tall, but all I could focus on was his face. He was the most handsome creature I had ever seen in my life—including in my dreams and imagination.

I felt a kick on my shin under the table and was jerked back to reality.

"Hi Jake, I'm Miranda."

"She tricked me into dating her and now we live together," Brian said.

"And this is Emily." Miranda smiled, kicking me again.

"Hey," was all I managed to say.

His eyes lingered on me, turning all my thoughts to milky glue.

"Nice to meet you both," Jake said in a velvety voice.

"So, what are you doing here?" Brian questioned, moving closer.

"We transferred here for this year."

"We? Is Alice here too?"

Jake nodded.

"Do you want to step outside for a couple of minutes? It's deafening here," Jake asked Brian, looking around.

"Sure," Brian replied and turned to us. "I'll be right back."

Jake waved goodbye and they disappeared into the waves of people.

Miranda snorted as I watched them go.

"You can close your mouth now," she said, laughing.

Was I gaping?

"What … who was that? Was he real?" I asked.

"He was," she said and laughed again, a tinkle of a sound. "Let's wait for Brian and ask. I've never met the guy before."

"I need to use the restroom," I said and bolted away before she got a chance to say anything else.

The blur of bodies, a mass moved around me as I almost ran into the bathroom door. Once inside, the music faded away, the voices muted. I was alone.

A flushed face looked at me from the mirror, dark eyes darted to my shamefully rosy cheeks. I put my hands under the cold water and took a shaking breath. I was embarrassed by my own reaction. I didn't want to remember how my body leaned in the direction of that stranger. What was that? A hormone craze? I splashed cold water on my face to calm the blaze under my skin and looked back at the mirror. The water glistened on the black nose ring I wore.

I took a paper towel and noticed how my hands were trembling. Something was not right, something had happened to my body and I wanted to bolt away from there, to run back to my dorm room and hide.

"Stupid," I murmured as the door to the restroom opened and three giggling women filled the space.

One last look in the mirror and I headed back.

Miranda was beaming when she saw me. Her dark auburn hair glistened like a rainbow in the colorful light of the bar.

"You're getting back to life, girl," she said.

"Stop it," I murmured, but her smile was infectious.

We were always different. Miranda surrounded herself with colors and light, but I was always monochrome. We shouldn't even have been friends, but there was something between us I didn't have with anyone else anymore. Trust.

"Oh, there's Brian," Miranda said.

In a moment his hands rested on her shoulders and Brian kissed the top of her head. He took a sip of his beer and looked at us.

"So …" Miranda started, "who is he?"

"Jake? Oh, you're going to love him. He's one of the smartest people I've ever met, reserved, but once he knows you, he's such an interesting person to be around."

"Does he have a girlfriend?" Miranda asked and looked at me.

Brian followed her gaze and coughed. "No, no, no, don't even think about it. He doesn't date."

"Is he gay?" Miranda asked, raising a brow.

"No, he definitely isn't. All the girls from our school swooned over him, from the most popular ones to the smartest, to the plainest. Every girl, but he chose no one. For some time he dated a girl from a neighboring town, but it ended abruptly. It's not about you, Emily, trust me, you're gorgeous," he said, and Miranda nodded.

"I'm not, but thanks." I laughed.

"But Jake isn't interested in relationships, and he never was. He always reads, studies, or travels with his sister."

"Alice?" I asked.

"Yes, they're very close," Brian said.

Miranda tilted her head. "How do you know so much about him?"

"We were neighbors "til my family moved to Florida. His family has an interesting story, our moms were close when they were younger." He paused awkwardly before continuing.

"When everyone was popping out kids, Jake's parents just couldn't. They tried everything, even some magic when medical stuff didn't work, so eventually, they decided to adopt. Jake is adopted. But a month into happy family life, Jake's mom realized she was pregnant, so here comes Alice. I've never seen such a strong sibling bond as between those two. They do everything together, Jake even transferred here along with Alice because the art program at our university is much stronger."

"What does he study?" I asked.

"Biomedical engineering."

"Wow," Miranda murmured.

"So anyway, Emily, I suggest you don't even spend a second thinking about Jake. He's a hopeless case. Just don't," Brian said. "Sorry."

"Yeah, sorry," Miranda chimed. "I already imagined them together, such a sexy couple."

I shook my head and smiled.

"Stop it," I said. "I was not even that interested."

What a shameless lie.