Chapter 33

Daelyn

I wake up to a weird buzzing sound. Holy crap, my body aches. Rolling over, I find the source of the vibration and sit up. My cell . Dmitri’s left my cell phone for me!

Holding the blanket to my chest, I wipe the sleep from my eyes and check my notifications. It’s seven in the morning. Or is it night? Shit, I have no clue.

Three missed calls. One text. None are from Addie.

First voicemail : Where the fuck are you, Dae?

It’s Ace. I immediately delete and move on.

Second voicemail : Hi Daelyn, is Josie. Have you logged into the system yet? It’s down for me and I can’t get in touch with IT. I was just wondering if it’s a me problem or a hospital problem. Let me know. I want to get started on this new batch of charts before lunch. K, bye.

Delete.

Third voicemail : Hey babygirl, just calling to check on you .

My blood freezes.

I feel shitty about the way we left things, and I can’t get you off my mind .

My grip tightens on my phone.

Kaleb sighs before saying, Bet you’re having fun at the Monarch Club.

I break out in a sweat.

See you soon .

He knows I’m here. The relief of having one less thing to hide is miniscule compared to the raging need I feel to protect Dmitri. The rest of me is squirming like a kid in big trouble.

See you soon .

That wasn’t a goodbye. It was a warning.

I’m more grateful than ever that Addie is far, far away from all this right now.

My stomach cramps hard. The sex D and I had last night is catching up with me.

Bet you’re having fun at the Monarch Club.

Kicking the blanket off me, I head into the bathroom to freshen up. Holding my belly, I double over and check Addie’s location.

Location not found.

Worry slithers up my spine, but I tamp it down. She probably let her phone die. She’s fine. She’s safe. She’s far away from here . I drop her a text anyway and start the shower. When I get out, Dmitri’s in the bedroom, sitting on the cot with body language that screams Do Not Touch.

“I was wondering where you went.” Holding the towel tightly around me, I slip past him and dig out a set of clothes for the day. “Thanks for giving me my cell. It’s in the bathroom if you want it back.”

D silently stands and retrieves it, sliding my cell into his back pocket.

My stomach won’t stop cramping, and it’s shooting pain down my thighs. I like it though. The pain grounds me, makes me feel alive when I’m usually so numb. I want to thank him for yesterday, but… he still hasn’t looked at me. I’m scared I’ve done something wrong.

“Have you heard from Addie?” he suddenly asks in a deep tone.

Why is he asking about her? My protective instincts flare because I don’t want her brought up any more than necessary. I want her away from all this badness. But… Dmitri isn’t the bad guy here. Is he?

Fuck. I’m so confused.

“No.” Guess it’s a good thing she didn’t text because I don’t want to lie to Dmitri if I don’t have to.

“You worried?”

“Yes, but I’m always worried about her. Comes with being a guardian, I guess. I’m sure she’s fine.”

His Adam’s apple bobs, and he still won’t look at me. “How did you become her guardian?”

The question catches me off guard. “Why?”

“It’s not common for a young woman to take on a foster kid in her teens. I’m just curious.” He looks over at me then and the sincerity in his eyes makes me pause. “You said you’re like sisters.”

I nod. “I love her with my whole heart.” Sitting on the cot, I fold my hands in my lap. “I already told you she was in the system with me.”

He leans against the wall on the other side of the room, his arms crossed, eyes boring into me. “Mmm hmm.”

“The foster home she was staying in was the same one I’d been in until I turned eighteen. The Brenner’s. They weren’t the best, but definitely not the worst. She bawled her eyes out when I left. I’d go to all her soccer games, meet her after school for ice cream or whatever, and have always kept my promise.”

“What promise was that?”

“That I wouldn’t leave her.” My heart feels heavy. “Then the Brenner’s house burned down, and they lost everything. They gave Addie up afterwards and I did everything I had to so she could be with me. I think that was the biggest miracle of all. She shouldn’t have been able to stay with me, but I met the requirements and, let’s face it, the system’s overloaded and they just needed a temporary solution, which was me. I made sure temporary became permanent.”

“What about her parents?”

Why is he being so fucking nosy? “What about them?”

“Just curious if you knew anything about her past.”

I know everything about her past, but I’m not about to share it with Dmitri. It’s not my story to tell. “They’re dead.”

“That’s… tragic.”

“Her whole life has been tragic,” I say in a bitter tone. “And I’m just making it worse with the amount of shit I’ve gotten myself into.”

“Then why not give her up? Cut her loose?”

My hands ball into fists. “I guess you don’t know the meaning of a promise. I said I wouldn’t abandon her.”

“Letting her go doesn’t mean you’re abandoning her.”

“It does to Addie. And I’d rather die than see her go off with someone else who doesn’t love her like I do.”

The words leave a sour taste in my mouth. Holy shit, how many times did Kaleb say the exact same thing to me whenever I said I wanted out of our relationship?

I’m so fucked up.

And suddenly I’m all too eager to tell Dmitri all the wonderful things about Addie. Because maybe if he can understand how much I love her, he’ll forgive me for what I’m doing to him, so I can save us all from Kaleb.

“She’s so bright,” I say. “Honestly, she probably could skip a grade or two with how smart she is.”

He keeps quiet.

“Addie’s like this bubbly hurricane of joy. And she feels everything with her whole body, you know what I mean? Like she’s crazy happy or roaring mad. There’s no neutral in her and it all shows on her face. And her freckles… she has the prettiest smattering of freckles across her nose.”

Dmitri swallows again.

“Her whole life has been Hell and she’s just blazing through it like a little shooting star.”

“Like you.”

“No.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “She’s a million times better than I am. She’s good and pure and wonderful. I’m trash.”

Dmitri pushes away from the wall and ends up squatting by my feet. “You’re not trash, Daelyn.”

“I’m a bad person. She’s the opposite of me. She’s so good, she’s—”

“Worth going through Hell for?”

“She’s worth dying for.” Which is a very real possibility for me. “I just need to get her to graduation. She’s brilliant. She’ll have scholarships coming in left and right and will be able to go anywhere, do anything.”

Escape. Be free. Live a better life than me.

“You really love her, don’t you?”

Has he not been listening to what I’m saying? “If love exists, then it’s Addie.”

I don’t know love with Kaleb, even if he’s the only other person in my life I’ve come close to dying for.

“Tell me his name,” D begs on his knees. “Just give me his fucking name and I’ll end this nightmare for you. I can keep both you and Addie safe.”

My walls rebuild. I gave away too much, spoke about Addie in a way that let him see she’s my only vulnerability, and now he’s trying to use it against me to get what he wants. “No.”

His jaw clenches. Eyes harden. The look on his face is sheer disappointment, and I hate it because he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t fucking get it.

“I’m trying to protect you!” I yell. “And I’m trying to save my ass while keeping Addie away from all of this.”

“You don’t need to protect me, Daelyn.”

The hell I don’t. Fuck, I’m so exhausted and my stomach won’t stop cramping, which is now just frustrating and annoying. Doubling over, I squeeze my eyes shut and let all my thoughts, all my everything, fly out of me. “I’ve spent my whole life doing mental gymnastics, Dmitri. Always trying to make my superiors happy. Always walking the line so I don’t get in trouble or kicked out or put someplace worse.” I blow out a long exhale. “I’m tired of trying to keep everyone happy or neutral, because at the end of every day, I’m fucking spent. The world just takes, takes, takes until I have nothing left to give and then it asks for more. And I’m desperate enough… starved enough… to keep letting it take from me just so I can receive an ounce of kindness back, no matter how false it is.”

To that point, I can’t tell if Dmitri really cares about me, or if he’s just like Kaleb, who feeds me breadcrumbs to keep me hooked. And the worst part is, I’m willing to die for this man, because that’s the endgame here.

“Please, Daelyn.” D’s voice is calm and soft. “Let me help.”

“No!” Fisting my hair, I pull it and scream. “I’m not dragging you down with me anymore than I already have. I’ll figure a way out on my own. I’ll lie and make up a bunch of shit about you and send him on a wild goose chase.”

“And how long will that last, Dae? Listen to yourself. That makes zero sense.”

“I’ll go to the cops and tell them what he’s done. I’ll snitch.”

“He’ll take you down with him.”

“I’ll string him along. Say that you’re evading me, and I need more time. Then you can leave for a while and—”

“Stop.” He grips my shoulders and stuffs his face into mine. “You can’t get out of this any more than I can. Any more than Addie can.”

I shake my head. “Addie’s not—”

“She is. You’re just too blind to see it, but she’s in it because you’re in it. Everything you touch will reach her at some point.”

My mind goes to Ace. Dmitri’s right. I’ve already ruined Addie. If she’s not being groomed yet, she will be. Kaleb’s too clever to let her go because she’s the only string he can pull to make me do his dirty work.

My stomach plummets. “I’ve ruined everything.”

“Give me his name.”

“He’ll kill you.” I grip Dmitri’s shoulders, sinking my nails into his flesh like if I can get my claws in him deep enough, I’ll keep him with me forever. “I can’t let him kill you.”

Tears spill down my cheeks because everything that’s been in my face all this time, I haven’t really seen. I allowed myself to be blinded with the hope that I can get us out of this nightmare unscathed.

“I’m so sorry,” I sob. “I never meant for this to happen. I was just supposed to be there when you won the fight. I was just supposed to fuck you.” My confessions blast out of me like cannon balls, each one landing with a blow that destroys more of my life. “He only wanted to know about you, he said. He just wanted to find things out about you.”

“What kinds of things?”

“I don’t even know! He never said specifics.” I swipe my tears, panicked. “But everything I say is used as ammo. He’s smart, Dmitri. He calculates everything and is always two steps ahead. He knew you would be at the fight. Who could have told him about that?”

Dmitri frowns. “Lots of people, I suppose. It’s not a secret that I’m a cage fighter. And I’d put my name on the board weeks in advance to draw a crowd and make more money.”

I clutch him harder. If Kaleb can drag intel out of simple actions, maybe Dmitri can, too. “He asked me a bunch of questions about what we did after the fight. He wanted to know if you tied me up, made me come.” I reevaluate the entire conversation I had with Kaleb that day and tell Dmitri what Kaleb deduced from it: That D has a conscience. That he’s not selfish. That he’s gentle even during brutality.

“Did he say why he’s after me?”

“He said you killed his father.”

Dmitri swipes a hand down his mouth. “That’s why you asked if I ever murdered someone that day at breakfast.”

I nod. “Did you lie to me?”

D meets my gaze and slowly shakes his head.

If Dmitri didn’t lie to me…

Then Kaleb did.

“No.” I can’t feel my legs. “No, no. He doesn’t lie to me, Dmitri. He’s never lied to me.” I slip past him so I can pace back and forth. “This doesn’t make sense.”

“You would believe him over me?”

I stop and toss my hands up. “I don’t know you!”

“But you know him. Who’s more likely to play you, Daelyn? The man who’s terrorized you for half your life, or the guy he sent you to fuck over?”

I get what he’s saying. I do. But my brain locks in on the fact that Kaleb has never lied to me. It’s a wall I can’t climb or knock down. It’s the very foundation our relationship was built on. “He wouldn’t lie to me.”

“Then he’s mistaken me for someone else.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” A tiny seed of hope sprouts in my chest. “I bet that’s it. Yeah.” Relief filters into my exhaustion. “I can work with that. I’ll tell him he has the wrong guy. I’ll convince him of it.” Oh my god, this could work! “He’ll have to believe me because it’s true. And then my part of the mission is over. Me and Addie will be free, and so will you.” I look up at him with a smile that doesn’t feel right on my face. “This is going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

Dmitri’s expression cuts me to the quick. “Daelyn.”

“No.” I poke a shaky finger at him. “This is going to work.”

He’s not convinced.

And neither am I.