Chapter 3

Daelyn

“Don’t let the sauce stick.”

“I’m not!” Addie quickly grabs a wooden spoon and stirs. “Okay, it stuck a little but that’s just extra flavor. You’re welcome.”

Making lasagna has us both ridiculously happy. Who doesn’t love pasta? It’s also a great distraction from the thoughts that haven’t stopped racing through my mind since I did my last job for Kaleb two nights ago. As far as going out with a bang, I have zero regrets. And now, my debt is paid and I’m free .

“You’ve been in a good mood, Dae.” Addie taste tests the sauce and smacks her lips. “You get laid or something?”

Snatching the spoon from her, I lick the back of it. Ohhh that’s good . “Can’t I just be happy because I’m with you?”

“Oh pah-lease.” She dips her finger into the ricotta mixture and wipes it on the tip of my nose. “You’re a horrible bullshitter.”

True, but I’ll keep practicing. “I’m just in a good mood, that’s all.”

There’s no way I can tell Addie that I fucked a stranger two nights ago as my last job for Kaleb. She doesn’t even know I’ve been in debt to him all this time.

There’s a lot Addie doesn’t know about, actually. I envy her ignorance. Sometimes I want to tell her stuff, but she’s had to grow up fast enough and dragging her deeper into my shitshow won’t help her. It’ll kill her spirit or worse, make her think my actions are acceptable.

“Preheat that oven, baby.” Addie rubs her hands together and stares at the assembly line of noodles, filling, cheese, and sauce. “It’s time to put this bad boy together.”

My stomach flip-flops as I hit the digits on the oven and get it going. As great as it is to be out of Kaleb’s debt, I still can’t shake the feeling that it’s too good to be true. I’ve done a lot of shady shit for him. A lot of illegal shit, too. Fucking that fighter the other night was the easiest job he’s ever given me, and I don’t trust it. So, I check my cell for the hundred-billionth time today.

No missed calls. No messages.

Nothing.

My heart stirs restlessly in my chest. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that guy since I left him in the warehouse bedroom.

Ace dropped me off at that shithole on the edge of town with direct orders to find a man named Silas and do what he says. I had no clue what I was getting into honestly, and the rundown building was scary.

Even so, I went in.

If that doesn’t tell you the level of desperation I’ve reached, nothing will.

I risked the very real possibility of being kidnapped, raped, or murdered, and walked into it with no fear.

I need therapy.

Lots and lots of it.

It’s just that I’m completely numb. If Addie had to grow up fast, then I’ve had to grow up at lightning speed. I’m twenty-five and have lived through more nightmares than a fucking horror movie convention. Hence my detachment to life and desperation to survive.

Hell, Addie’s not even my real sister. We’re trauma bonded foster kids. But I’d die for her without hesitation. She’s been my motivator for a very long time.

“Beautiful.” Addie sprinkles the final layer of cheese on the dish. “We should have made two, so we don’t have to share.”

She can eat this whole thing because I don’t have an appetite anymore. Especially not when I hear the sound of a particular engine pull up to the front of our house.

Addie hears it too, only her eyes light up. “Ace is here.”

Glancing cautiously out my front window, I watch him park, get out, and lean against his car. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares directly at me.

Fuck .

“Stay,” I order, jabbing my finger at Addie. “And don’t forget to set the timer for the lasagna.” Then I turn up the volume to the music playing on our little Bluetooth speaker so it will drown out the conversation I’m about to have outside with Ace.

Numbness runs up my body, starting at my feet and reaching my cheeks by the time I step onto my tiny lawn. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think?”

“Kaleb and I are done. I did my last job for him two nights ago.”

Ace opens the passenger door. “Get in the car.”

“No.” I step back. “I’m serious, Ace. We’re done. I’m out .”

He huffs a laugh and shakes his head. “Dae, you know that’s bullshit. You don’t get out.”

“Yes, I did. I’m done. Kaleb said—”

“Kaleb said to come get you. So here I am. Get in the fucking car, Daelyn.”

“No.” I backup more.

He advances. “Don’t make this ugly.”

“I’m not going.” My heart runs in panicked circles like a headless chicken. “I’m out!” Spinning on my heels, I race across the lawn and up my front steps.

Ace is on me before I can reach the door.

“Let go of me,” I snap.

“We’ve got an audience,” he warns in my ear. To my horror, a neighbor two doors down is watching us while she waters her roses. “We don’t want anyone here knowing you’re a drug dealing whore, now do we? Think what CPS would do about that.” Ace lets go of me and flashes her a smile. “Nice roses.”

Mrs. Rainey shakes her head and turns to water her other flowers.

Ace grips my arm. “Are you going to behave now, Dae?”

Shaking the hair from my eyes, I turn around and give him my best fake smile. “Of course.”

Going into survival mode, my body relaxes, and a stillness takes over my organs. Like a zombie, I head to Ace’s car.

After dropping into the passenger seat, I look at the window to my living room to see Addie’s watching us. She looks annoyed as she mouths, “What the fuck?”

“I’ll be back soon!” I call out, hoping she didn’t see what Mrs. Rainey did. “Don’t forget the garlic bread in the freezer!”

Ace waves at her and if her smile is any sign, he probably winked or made some other flirtatious gesture I can’t see. That means she didn’t see the exchange between us when he stopped me from getting back into the house.

Thank God.

After Ace gets in the car, we both buckle up and he starts the engine. Mentally preparing for the worst, I stare at the burn scar on his arm from Kaleb’s signet ring that matches the one on my wrist. If I had a knife, I’d cut it off me right now.

And I wouldn’t pull up the blade until I sliced my arm from wrist to elbow.

???

I have no clue where Kaleb currently lives—probably the seventh circle of Hell since he’s the goddamn devil—so it’s no surprise when I’m brought to a hotel. We’ve met here tons of times and I’m pretty sure he owns the building.

Dread tries clawing its way up my back, but my psychological walls won’t let it find purchase. Keeping my head down, I let Ace escort me through the lobby and into an elevator. I hit the fifth-floor button before he can.

Silence fills my ears until they’re ringing.

When the doors open, Ace slips out first and keeps his gaze straight ahead. We pass a guard standing outside Kaleb’s room. His name is Casey, and he’s a sweetheart some days and a fucking animal on others.

Ace knocks twice and the door opens. I step inside first, like always.

“Did she give you any trouble?” Kaleb asks without looking up at us. His fingers fly across his cell as he types something.

“None.”

My breath nearly catches. Ace just lied. Why?

“Good.” Kaleb jerks his head, silently dismissing Ace, and the door shuts. It’s just me and Kaleb now.

In the beginning, he and I would be on each other in an instant, tearing each other’s clothes off. He’d push me against the wall and kiss down my neck, suck on my tits. I’d beg for his cock. He’d fuck me for hours, making me come so many times I’d sob. Then he’d fuck me some more.

Those days are long gone.

“Did you have fun at the fight?” He still hasn’t looked up at me.

“Sure.” What else am I supposed to say?

He chuckles and slips his phone in his pocket, then settles on the foldaway couch, stretching his arms across the back of it. Our gazes lock and, once again, I try to find what kindness I swore used to be there. But his eyes are so cold they send shivers down my back.

“Did you fuck him?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And then I left.”

He shakes his head and leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees. Dressed in a black button-down, with the sleeves rolled up, and black dress pants, Kaleb looks like sex on a stick. Especially with his dark hair freshly cut and face clean shaven to accent his sharp jaw.

The ink on his arms and hands has always mesmerized me. L-O-V-E is tatted on the fingers of his right hand. H-U-R-T is tatted on the other. When we first met, he was a charmer. A leader. He promised to always take care of me, and I believed him. I depended on it.

Once, a man at a club grabbed my ass and Kaleb marched right over and snapped his arm like a twig. The bone stuck out and blood dripped all over the floor. I loved him for that.

As a girl who grew up in broken homes, danger became my love language. You either cower from it or crave it.

Guess which one I do.

For a long ass time, Kaleb was my protector. My provider. The man who cared about me when the world didn’t even know I existed. And then, little by little, the dream I had of being with this perfect guy turned into a nightmare. His tone changed. His affection hardened. The promises he made twisted into more than I bargained for. He didn’t give me anything for free, even if it seemed that way at first.

“What was he like?”

Kaleb’s question knocks around in my head like a pinball. “Rough.”

He smiles, knowing that’s how I like it. “Did he scare you?”

“No.”

“What else?”

I don’t know what he wants to hear. “You said I was done. That after I fucked him, I was free.”

“You will be.”

Will be ? What the hell? “I already fucked him, Kaleb. I did it. I’m done.”

“You’re not even close to done.” He stands up and saunters over to me. “I said fuck him.”

“Yeah. Spread my legs. I did.”

“There are other ways to fuck him. You only did the bare minimum at the fight, which is a good start, babygirl.”

I can’t believe this. Rage eats away my fear until I’m left shaking with anger. “I’m not going to be some rent-a-whore.”

“You’re going to be exactly what I fucking tell you to be.” He wraps his hand around my throat. “I need you to fuck him.”

“How?” Damn my voice for shaking. “What more do you want from me, Kaleb?” Tears fill my eyes so fast I can’t control the way they fall.

“You’re so pretty when you cry, Dae.” He leans in and licks the traitorous tears from my cheek.

It makes me sick. “Please don’t.”

He swallows hard before letting go of me. Taking a step back, he shoves his hands in his pockets and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. “I promised you this was the last job, and I don’t break my promises. You know me.”

I do. Which means I have to decode what he’s asking of me now. “How am I supposed to fuck him?” Because Kaleb said to spread my legs and open my mouth, which I did, goddamnit, and just like always, it’s not enough for him. “Just tell me exactly what I have to do.”

“I need you to get close to this guy. Figure out what makes him tick. What makes him break. What matters to him.”

There’s no way. It’ll take me forever.

“You can do this for me, Dae.” He pulls a cigarette out with his teeth. “You’re good at making a man feel like he can tell you anything.”

My heart collapses. Memories fall from the dark hole in the top of my brain, and splatter behind my eyes, playing out in scenes I don’t like dwelling over…

Kaleb and I laughing in bed as the sun comes up. Kaleb sending over a thousand roses to my house for my birthday. The way he stared at me from across a bonfire we had to celebrate Ace’s initiation. How he would kiss me like I gave him life. How he told me about his father dying, and the way his voice trembled as he broke down about it .

I can look at us now and admit Kaleb is not the man I thought I loved, but he is still raw and vulnerable when I am the only one looking. We’ve been through so much together, it’s hard to remember my life before he came into it.

Addie isn’t the only person I’ve trauma bonded with. Kaleb and I share things, too.

Until he turned my vulnerabilities into his strengths and used me all up.

He lights his cigarette and takes a long drag, blowing it out through his nose.

Running his thumb across his bottom lip, his voice stays low and soft when he asks, “How bad do you want to be free from me, Daelyn?” To make it worse, he closes the space between us again and grabs my hand, running his thumb over the signet he burned into me. “Tell me.”

“I…”

There’s no answer that won’t get me in hot water. If I say I want out badly, he’ll do something to break my heart because on some level I’ll have broken his too. If I say not badly, then he’ll keep using me for his illegal businesses and I’ll end up in prison.

Then where will Addie be?

I’ll have to redirect this conversation to take the focus off me. “Why do you want to fuck him?”

Because if I’m going to bring that fighter into Kaleb’s world, don’t I deserve to know why?

“Don’t worry about it.” Kaleb takes another drag of his cigarette. “I should have known better than to lean on you for this.”

Hold up. What? “I can do it.”

“No. It’s fine. He’s a lunatic, anyway. I don’t want you around that.”

I see the game he’s playing with me and still I engage. “I just want to know why , Kaleb.”

“He…” Kaleb looks away from me and runs his hand through his hair. It’s the only sign I’ve ever picked up on that tells me when he’s truly upset. “He killed my father.”

The little bit of me that still cares about Kaleb flares back to life. Everyone has a reason for being the way they are. Kaleb’s father getting murdered is the reason Kaleb’s an angry, cutthroat sonofabitch. He’s a wounded animal that lashes out and handles everything with violence. He keeps his guard up because he feels like no one understands him. He has no one. Nothing.

Except me.

A memory of him telling me his sad story creeps into my brain, rewiring my cells again. I cling to the way his soft voice spoke of his heartbroken mother, that at thirteen years old he lost his hero, and how hard life’s been for him ever since. He told me I was the only one who had ever dug their way into his heart, and he wanted to bury me in there forever.

Then a few years later, he heated his signet ring and branded me his.

I wasn’t the love of his life. I was a pawn in his game.

And I still am.

It’s terrifying to realize that death might be my only way out of Kaleb’s world for good.

“What did you learn about him the other night?” he asks, studying me.

“Nothing. He just came in and fucked me.”

“Did he speak?”

“Only a little.”

“What did he say?”

“Just to call Red if he got too rough.”

“Anything else?”

“He put a belt in my mouth to bite down on.”

Kaleb’s brow arches. “Did you like it?”

“Yes.” No point in lying. Kaleb knows better than anyone how rough I like it in bed. “I was chained to a wall.” Showing him the red marks that haven’t faded on my wrists makes my belly twist. He holds my hands and presses a gentle kiss on each one.

Locking eyes with mine again, he keeps his mouth close to my hand and asks, “Did you come?”

“Not at first. But afterwards.”

Kaleb swallows hard. I think there’s jealousy in him somewhere, not that he’d ever admit it since he made me do this. It’s his fault I fucked that guy. Besides, he doesn’t care about me like that anymore. I’m not sure he ever really did.

“Afterwards?” He runs his thumb over the signet scar. “Tell me more.”

“He…” I hate this so much. “He came first and then made me come.”

“How?”

“Fuck, Kaleb, why does it matter?”

Anger morphs his face as he grabs my wrist harder and yanks it, spinning me while twisting my arm behind my back. “Everything. Matters. Daelyn.” Keeping the pressure painful, he asks again. “How did he make you come?”

Shit, this hurts! “He ate me out, okay?”

“He tasted you.” Kaleb lets me go and backs away. “Good.”

I rub my aching arm and swallow the bile rising in my throat. “Good? What the hell does that mean?”

“It means he’s already addicted to you.” Kaleb walks through the open glass French doors that lead to a balcony and flicks his cigarette over the railing. “Trust me. I know exactly how it feels.”

My mouth runs dry. I’m not that special and Kaleb’s out of his damn mind.

“Anything else?” he asks with his back to me.

I almost tell him about the fighter mentioning a place called the Monarch, but something stops me. After I got home that night, I’d looked it up and discovered it’s an elite sex club on the ritzy side of town. It’s a simple piece of information to give, but instinct tells me to keep it to myself for now. And if Kaleb isn’t looking at me, he can’t catch me lying.

“No. Like I said, he was a mindless animal. He just fucked and bled all over me. Then it was done.”

“Except he also made you come.”

Thanks for the reminder . “So what?”

“That means he cared.”

“Doubtful.”

“He came first and still took care of you, Dae. That means something.”

“It means he has decent fucking etiquette.”

“No.” He turns around and clasps his hands behind his back. “It means he wanted to give you pleasure. And he told you to call Red if he was too much. That means he might have seemed like a crazed animal to you, but he was in his right mind and remained cautious of your wellbeing. Did he take the cuffs off you without you asking?”

“Yes.”

He smiles like he’s figuring it all out. “He has a conscience, then. Otherwise, he would have left you dangling until someone else freed you, hours, maybe even a day later.”

My throat closes. Kaleb’s too smart for his own good. Too perceptive. Too devious.

“Did you like it?” he asks, crooking his finger for me to come closer.

“Yes.” I hope it hurts his black heart to know that. I hope he knows it wasn’t a punishment for me to fuck a stranger in a warehouse.

“Good. Because you’re going to do it again and again until he cracks.” Kaleb smirks. “He hasn’t been in the ring for a long time, but I’m working on a plan to lure him there again.”

“How?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I step closer. “If it’s not something to worry about, then why involve me anymore?”

“Your part isn’t over, Dae.”

“How much information can you possibly want about this guy that you can’t find on the internet?”

Kaleb doesn’t answer. Instead, he pulls out another cigarette and lights it up. “Don’t disappoint me.” He takes a long drag again and blows the smoke into my face. “You know what will happen if you do.”

His warning starts my panic. I can’t go through that again. I barely survived it last time. “How am I supposed to find him again?”

Kaleb arches his brow and flicks his cigarette at me. “Figure it out.”