Chapter 26

Daelyn

When Dmitri collapses like a house of cards on my floor, my fate sets into motion.

“Teach me to fight.” I drop to my knees in front of him. “Teach me to defend myself so I can get out of my mess.”

His far-off gaze slowly focuses on me. “What?” he croaks.

“Teach me to fight,” I repeat, clutching his shoulders. “ Please , Dmitri. I’m tired of being the punching bag.”

A sigh blows out of him, and he glances away.

He’s not going to do it. Shame and guilt land heavy on my chest, making it hard to breathe because I’ve single handedly knocked this man to rock bottom. This mission started so easily. All I was supposed to do was fuck him the night of the fight. Spread my legs and let him rail me.

But in true Kaleb fashion, his simple job grew until it got too big to control.

Because I do not have control over this. Not really. Not without jeopardizing my life and inevitably Addie’s, too.

I know how to shoot a gun. I know how to take a punch. I know how to detach and how to live in fear while pretending I’m brave. Kaleb taught me all of that. None of it has helped me.

“Please, Dmitri.” His taut muscles are hard under my sweaty hands. There’s a terrible favor on the tip of my tongue, one I have absolutely no right to ask for, so I keep it inside because I can’t ask him to save me.

I know he wants the name of my abuser, but I can’t give it to him. My brain’s hardwired to protect the guy who’s been in my life too long. Kaleb might be a monster, but he’s also been the only person who’s never abandoned me. Everything I’ve done is only to help you, he’d say. He gaslights and stonewalls all the time, but I still don’t always see it when he does. My brain’s too muddled, too stuck in the fear of retaliation to examine his actions closer until it’s too late.

This is my only chance to change that.

“I need to learn to fight, or to at least hit where it counts.” I’ll never be strong enough to take Kaleb down, but if I can land a punch that will knock him down a few pegs, it’ll give me hope. I’d rather go down fighting than lay like a dog for him to kick.

I’ve tried online self-defense videos, but it’s not the same as having a real partner. And I can’t go to in-person classes because it’ll raise a flag for Kaleb. He won’t like it and will show me that by giving me his own lesson.

Trust me. Been there, done that.

“Please, Dmitri.”

Why won’t he look at me?

Because I just fucked him and then fucked him. He owes me nothing , I remind myself.

“I’ll do it on one condition…” Dmitri reluctantly looks over at me with a coldness that makes me shiver. “I want to be there when you go after him.”

Go after him? I’m not going after Kaleb. I just need to hold my ground for once when he comes after me. Because that’s what will happen now. I will not let him hurt Dmitri any more than he already has. But finding a way around giving Kaleb more information about D is going to be hard. I just have to remember that I hold the power here. Kaleb has nothing on Dmitri if I keep my mouth shut.

“I’ll protect you as much as I can.” My whispered promise makes my confidence shift. I mean what I say. Here’s hoping I can deliver with action.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Daelyn. Just give me his name and I’ll handle it on my own.”

“I told you, it’s not that simple.”

“Life and death are always that simple. You either live, or you die.”

Imagining Kaleb dead rips me in half. His dying would solve all my problems, but I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t want this to get that far.

Is this what Stockholm syndrome is like? Because Kaleb might not have kidnapped me, but he sure as shit keeps me locked away for his own devices and I depend on him. Lean on him. Use him as a brace and safety net when I’m struggling.

It’s got to stop. I can’t go on living a life where the most toxic, dangerous, deranged man on the street is somehow, in my warped brain, the hidden hero who just happens to do very bad things and has a temper that’s landed me in the hospital more than once.

I don’t want to find the bigger, badder monster to save me. I want to save myself, and that starts with fighting back.

“Tell me his name,” Dmitri begs again. “Don’t protect him.”

My silence is answer enough. I will not give him Kaleb’s name.

I’m still trying to figure out why Kaleb hasn’t just gone after Dmitri himself. If he wants to ruin his life, fuck him over in every way possible, he’s got the means to do it. Why send me instead? It makes no sense.

“I can’t give you his name,” I say again. “And I completely understand if you tell me no.” My hope of learning from a skilled fighter starts to vanish like fog in the morning sun. “It’s shitty of me to even ask, considering why I’m... why I was sent to you to begin with. You need to leave and never come back here, Dmitri.”

He flinches at my words like they hurt to hear. “Firefly, I’m not leaving without you.” He rests his hand on my leg. “We’re in this together now. Understand me?”

Too many emotions hit me at once. Relief, fear, guilt, anger, sadness.

“Please understand…” I say with a trembling voice, “I’m not doing this for me. If that was the case, I’d just let him kill me and be done with it. But there’s someone in my life that I cannot let him touch. And that means I’ll do anything to get us out of the hole I’m in with him.”

Dmitri’s face softens even more. “Who?”

I can at least give him this much. “Addie. She’s like a sister to me. There’s nothing I will not do for her.”

“She’s the one who lives here with you?”

I nod. “I’ve been doing all I can to get out of this position, and you were supposed to be my last job.” A choking sob bubbles out of me because I’m a horrible person to have done this and I’m furious I let Kaleb use my weaknesses to get me to this point.

“Okay,” Dmitri says stiffly. Then he takes my hand and runs his thumb over the burn scar on my wrist as if he’s silently letting me know he’s putting two and two together. “I’ll help you get your power back.”