Chapter 19

Daelyn

Guilt for ghosting Dmitri grinds my conscience the entire way home. My pussy hurts, my head’s banging, and there’s a hollowness in my belly that feels a lot like regret.

But I couldn’t stay with him a minute longer. Not with how good it felt. How safe it felt.

How right it felt.

We’d fucked until I finally tapped out. Then he cleaned me up, made me drink water, and peppered kisses all over my sweaty skin before holding me all night. He fell asleep first, his deep, even breathing lulling me to sleep too. When I woke, it was in a panic. I had no clue what time it was and needed to get back to Addie.

And back to reality.

I’m also no further at finding information out about Dmitri than I had been two days ago. Because the things he shared about his mom and fighting and stuff? I’m not telling Kaleb any of it. There’s no point. The past is in the past.

It’s not because I want to protect Dmitri. Or… well, that’s what I’m sticking with, anyway. And it’s definitely not because I’m falling for a guy I barely know. I’m not that stupid.

No. Kaleb wants new information. The past can be googled if it’s that important to him. Though I have no clue why he hasn’t looked Dmitri up already. In fact, why hasn’t Kaleb joined the Monarch Club to get closer to him that way? He can afford the membership fees. Either he’s letting everyone else do his dirty work again, or he doesn’t know about the Monarch at all.

Or maybe he tried to get in and got denied?

Pulling my cell out, I check it for the hundredth time.

No notifications .

I’d taken a big gamble yesterday, not only by going to the Monarch Club and spending the night there, but I’d turned my cell off before I left my house. Kaleb tracks my location sometimes, and I didn’t want to risk him seeing where I was. Stupid, really, because he could also have someone tailing me. It wouldn’t be the first time.

My stomach clenches the instant I take the first step up to my front door. Something’s off. I feel it. Digging out my key, I unlock the door in a hurry. Dread consumes me when I see the state of my living room. Furniture is knocked over, plates are shattered, picture frames lay on the floor broken to pieces. My TV is busted.

My home has been destroyed.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Kaleb steps down from the upstairs landing, each thud of his boots on my wooden steps collide with my rapid heartbeat. “Where.” Thud . “The.” Thud . “Fuck.” Thud . “Have.” Thud . “You.” Thud . “Been?” Thud .

Hooking my thumb over my shoulder, I play it cool. “I was just—”

He punches me hard in the stomach.

Doubling over, I gasp for air, my mouth opening and closing like a fish.

Kaleb grabs me by the back of the neck and pushes me into the kitchen. I stumble in a rush to keep up because I know damn well he’ll drag me across the floor by my hair if I fall. He picks up a chair and shoves me into it.

“Let’s play a game.” He snags another chair and sets it next to me at the kitchen table before straddling it. Pulling out his knife, he grabs my arm and holds it down before slamming the point of the blade into the wood, nicking my thumb.

My eyes widen as terror floods my system. “Kaleb, why are you doing this?”

“That’s not an answer.” He yanks the blade out and thrusts it down again, not looking at where he’s stabbing. He misses the tip of my middle finger by a hair this time.

“I went out to clear my head. That’s all.” Tears spill and the bees in my belly swarm. “I swear that’s all.”

“You had to clear your head all fucking night ?” Kaleb frees the blade again, slaps his hand over mine to keep me locked in place, and glowers at me, waiting for my answer.

“Yes. I… I stayed at a hotel. I didn’t realize my phone died.”

Kaleb palms his knife tighter, holding it above his head. His expression is so dark, so fucked, that panic has me jumping out of my seat so I can try to wrench my hand out from his grasp. “Kaleb! Don’t!”

He brings the blade down, cutting the side of my forearm. The more I fight his hold, the more the knife cuts into my skin. “Kaleb, stop!”

He pulls it out and I know this next strike will be a clean impalement. He’s been toying with me so far. I’m going to lose a finger or have a hole in my hand or arm next. I’ve seen him do this before.

“Kaleb, please!” I piss my pants. Urine drips down my legs, puddling on the floor.

“That’s a nice dress to clear your head in.” His grip on me loosens just as he stabs down one final time. I rip my arm away just before the knife embeds into my wooden tabletop.

Sobs wrack me as I hug myself.

“You feel that fear pumping inside you?” Kaleb growls in my face. Ripping the blade out of the table, he holds it at the hem of my dress, between my legs, and seethes. “That’s how I felt all night when I couldn’t fucking find you, Dae.”

My dress tears as he cuts the fabric clean up the middle. I’m so paralyzed with fear, I suck in big breaths and keep crying. “Kaleb, stop.”

“Who did you fuck last night?” He shoves his hand between my thighs, cupping my pussy, and I cry out because it hurts. I was already sore from Dmitri, and Kaleb’s brutal touch makes it worse.

“Myself,” I say through sobs. “I fucked myself, okay?”

Not a lie. Figuratively speaking, the actions I’ve taken recently, and the consequences I’m now facing, I did indeed fuck myself.

He leans in and smells my neck and hair. “You smell different.”

“It was lavender bath salts.” My stomach’s rolling. “I normally use jasmine.”

Our faces are so close I can feel his breath on my lips. With an angry, twisted smile, he wraps his hand around my throat and squeezes. “You turn your fucking phone off again, or let it die, and I will not miss next time. Understand me, Dae?”

The point of his blade is suddenly next to my right eye, driving his message home.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

He drops the knife, the sound of it clanking on the floor shattering me. Relief floods my body like a dam’s burst. I cry so hard and ugly that I can’t feel my cheeks. My breaths wheeze out of my lungs. My legs give out.

“Shhhh.” Kaleb squats down and holds me close. “I hate when you make me be a bad guy, Dae. But it’s for your own good. You know that, right?” He gently tips my chin, so I’ll look at him. “Fuck, babygirl, I love your tears.” He drags a tongue up my cheek. “So sweet, just like you.”

My entire body trembles. I cry even harder.

How did I get this low in the gutter? How did I ever think Kaleb was my hero? When did I become this trapped and far from safety?

Then again, I’ve never known safety a day in my life. He didn’t drag me here; I was already waiting for him to find me in this Hell.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Kaleb says cheerily. “You go take a shower and wash the piss off. I’ll take care of the mess down here.”

I crawl away from him, still sobbing.

“Nuh uh. Get up, babygirl. You only crawl when I tell you to.” He hoists me to my feet and slaps my ass. “Go on now. Addie will be home soon. You don’t want her to see you like this, do you?”

My stomach plummets. More sobs tear out of me.

“Jesus Christ.” Kaleb snatches me up and hugs me tight. “Come on, babygirl. It wasn’t that bad. Calm the fuck down.”

It’s the calm the fuck down that’s said in a darker tone. That’s the only warning I’ll get before he terrorizes me again if I don’t listen. So, I pull myself together. Wrapping my arms around his middle, I inhale the scent of cigarettes, booze, cologne, and laundry detergent and I pull. Myself. The fuck. Together.

“Better?”

I nod against his chest.

“Give me a smile, Daelyn.”

With all the bravado I can muster, I tip my head back and smile up at him.

He cups my face and kisses the tip of my dripping nose. “That’s my good girl.”

I finally break away and head upstairs to do what I’m told. I scrub myself raw in the shower. I bandage the cuts Kaleb just gave me. I tell myself I deserve everything I’m getting because I did this to myself.

Surprisingly, Kaleb hadn’t destroyed the upstairs rooms, but he definitely slept in my bed last night. Cigarette smoke lingers in my room and there are burn holes in my bedding and cigarette butts have been stubbed out on my end table before getting flicked all over my floor.

Great .

Opening a window, I plug in my diffuser and fill it with a new floral scent before getting dressed. When I return downstairs, Kaleb’s sweeping glass shards off my floor. “I’ll have a new TV delivered this afternoon.”

“It’s fine.”

His expression tells me I don’t have a choice.

And as much as I want to reject his offer, I need a TV and for my house to go back to normal because I can’t let Addie see what a mess I’ve made of our lives. And there’s no way I can afford a new TV right now.

“Want to grab breakfast?” he asks, pouring the broken glass into a trashcan.

“Umm. Sure.” It’s not like I have a choice. “Where do you want to go?”

“You’ll see.” His smile makes my insides squirm. “We’ll wait for Addie to come home. I want her to go with us.”

Oh, hell no. “She’s got work all day.” I’m not sure if that’s true or not, so I pray I’m not caught in a lie. “And I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in like two days.”

“Okay.” He tosses the broom and dustpan on the floor. “I’ll have Ace clean up the rest. Let’s go.”

I don’t want Ace in my house, especially if Addie might come home soon.

“Let me just grab a pair of shoes really quick.” I take the steps two at a time, even though my lower half hurts from last night, and rush into my room. Grabbing a pair of Converse from my closet, I slip them on and sit on my bed. My heart races and hands shake as I text Addie.

Daelyn : Don’t worry about coming home early. Stay at Tasha’s and work on your tan!

I quickly hit the send button.

“Thought you said your cell was dead.”

I gasp at Kaleb’s voice. He eyes me from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit . “I charged it while I was in the shower.”

He extends his hand out, expectantly.

Terrified, I hand him my cell and hold my breath as he quickly checks my battery, then hands it back to me. “You can charge it more in my car. Let’s go.”

I stare at the screen, seeing that, by the grace of God, I was down to one sliver of battery power left, anyway.

Throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I follow him out of my house, and by the time I’ve buckled up in his passenger seat, I’m back to being detached and numb.

I can do anything in this state of mind.

I am, after all, a bad guy.