Chapter 11

Daelyn

I’m out of my motherfucking mind. After we finished breakfast, Dmitri dropped me back off at my house with explicit instructions to, “Wear a nice dress. Hair down. Be at the Monarch Club’s front door at seven sharp.”

I’ve been staring at my cell ever since he blazed down the road on his motorcycle, leaving me stunned speechless on the curb. He’d put his number in my contacts list, along with the address to the Monarch Club, and saved both under the name D .

D for Dmitri.

D for danger.

D for death.

D for don’t go, it’s a trap.

As I head inside my house, I check Addie’s location and see she’s still at Tasha’s. Phew . Pulling up our text thread, I type with shaking fingers, I love you .

Then delete it.

I only reach out like this when I’m stressed, and I don’t want to lean on Addie for comfort when I’m the reason for the mess I’m in. Scrubbing my face, I sigh heavily and get a new plan going. Rage cleaning for the rest of the day with heavy metal blasting might fix me.

My life might be a mess, but that doesn’t mean my house is too.

By three in the afternoon, the summer breeze blowing through my open windows doesn’t cool the sweat trickling down my back. We don’t have air-conditioning and I usually keep the house like a dark cave with the curtains drawn, but I need the sunlight, if only to brighten my darkening mood.

The flurry of possibilities whirring in my head about tonight has me tense. What will Dmitri and I do at the Monarch? What dress should I wear? I’m wet at the thought of fucking him in a swanky sex club. Will there be an audience? Do I want there to be?

My pussy clenches.

Why am I like this?

Why can’t I stop putting myself in situations that will only hurt me in the end?

How will D hurt me?

I hate how eager I am to find out.

So, I shut it off. All my fantasies go back into the no-no box, and I shake away the lust wrapping warmth around me and replace it with cold resolve. I’m not going to that club for fun. I’m going to complete a mission and be done.

This is business, not pleasure.

While music blasts in my ears, I scrub my tub until I’ve completely numbed out again. The lyrics turn to white noise, and the smell of cleaning products fades. I don’t notice the ring of soap scum as I scrub, scrub, scrub.

And I don’t notice that I’m not alone.

Not until an earbud is ripped from my ear.

“ Boo .”

I scream and swing out, knocking my assailant in the face with my scrub brush.

“Fuck, Dae!” Kaleb stumbles back, holding his eye.

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit .

“Kaleb,” I squeak, my heart ramming against my ribs. “What the hell!”

He blinks fast, his right eye bright red and watery, while fury laces his tone. “Fucking Christ .”

“Flush out your eye,” I order, steering him by his shoulders towards the sink. “Here.” I smack the faucet on, gather cool water in my hand, and pull him by the shirt until he bends down. Then I splash his eye until I think he’ll be okay. “Sit down,” I say, guiding him until the back of his legs hits my toilet. “Here, put this on your eye.”

He takes the cold washcloth from me and slaps it on his face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault, babygirl. I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that.”

I bite my lip as a swarm of bees and butterflies battle in my belly. “What are you doing here?”

“Wanted to take you out for lunch.”

Yeah, right. I can’t even remember the last time we shared a meal together. “Why?”

“Christ, Dae, can’t I just take my girl out to eat without having another motive?”

“I’m not your girl.”

The look on his face gives the butterflies the upper hand over the bees in me. But the victory doesn’t last. “You’ll always be my girl,” he says.

There was a day when those words would make me melt. Today, they make me want to vomit. “What are you really doing here, Kaleb?”

He tosses the washcloth in my sink and stares at me with one green eye and one slightly swollen red eye. I’m sure it stings, and I wouldn’t put it past him to act extra wounded just to get sympathy out of me. Now I feel duped. I should have let the chemicals eat his eyeball until it blinded him.

“I’ve missed you,” he says in a softer tone. “Lately I’ve just…” He gently grazes my side with the backs of his fingers. Then they curl around my waist in a firm grip, and he brings me in, spreading his legs so I’ll stand between them. “I need you, Dae.”

My mask almost drops.

My strength nearly wavers.

But I can’t fall for his bullshit again. No matter how sincere he sounds, I refuse to allow myself to believe it’s the truth. Even if he’s never lied to me before, he’s manipulated me with his words, which is just as bad.

“If you need comfort, I’m sure Kayla or one of your other girls would be happy to fill that role, Kaleb.”

He’s got plenty of women begging to bounce on his dick. Trust me. I’ve seen it.

“They’re not you.”

I look away from him. He only wants me because he thinks someone else has me. And that someone is who Kaleb himself forced me to be with.

“No one else knows me like you do, Daelyn. I don’t want another woman. I want you .”

Funny, he said those exact words the day I walked in on him railing a girl named Savanah. He said he didn’t love her like he loved me. That she was nothing but a hole and I was his everything. He got mad when I wouldn’t listen to his bullshit, and he blamed his betrayal on me by saying I wasn’t around for him as much as I should be. That he had needs, and it’s not his fault that he had to turn to another woman.

Then he got on his knees, cried, and begged me for another chance.

He kissed me like I was his salvation.

He lifted me into his arms and carried me away, promising me a dozen and one things that he was going to do to make it up to me.

Only to cheat on me again a month later.

I was eighteen then. Finally free from the foster system, I’d come to live with Kaleb so we could have a beautiful life together. Instead, I caught him fucking other women in our bed, and I was too deeply involved in a dangerous life with the only guy I’d ever loved, and therefore couldn’t run as fast as I wanted away from all of it.

It was complicated then and is even worse now.

Kaleb has kept me on a short leash long after I kicked him out of my heart. And the worst part about it is, I don’t think I know how to be unleashed. The collar, invisible but snug, is a comfort to me.

Kaleb wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head against my chest. “You always smell so fucking good,” he says quietly. “Like a field of flowers.”

My eyes water.

“Remember when we went to that big garden with the orchid house?” His hands splay across my lower back. “Answer me.”

“Yes.”

“Remember how we fucked under the cherry blossom tree?”

I squeeze my eyes shut, letting a tear escape. “Yes.”

“You smell like that right now.” He breathes me in, his grip tightening. “Like sex and flowers.” He runs his hands over the band of my shorts until he reaches the fly.

I step back. “No.”

His eyes darken. “ No ?”

“I’m off limits.” He’s always respected this one and only boundary I’ve resurrected between us.

“Off limits,” he repeats, as if that’s a foreign concept he can’t grasp. Standing slowly, he keeps his gaze locked on me. I try to hold my ground even when he calmly grabs my wrist and holds it up. “This mark says you’re off limits to everyone but me.”

Kaleb spins me around and pins my arm behind my back, bending me over the sink.

I don’t fight it.

With one hand, he roughly unfastens my shorts and yanks them down. Then he cups my pussy over my panties and shoves me forward until the edge of the sink cuts into my belly. “You’re mine , Daelyn. Don’t you ever fucking forget it.”

I don’t respond.

Agreeing would be a lie.

Disagreeing will have him do something I’ll regret forever.

A stronger woman would fight back. But I’m not strong. And he’s right because I am his… for a little while longer.

“Look at me,” he growls against my ear.

My body shakes as I look into our reflection.

“You’re mine ,” he says, digging his fingers against my pussy with a bruising grip. “Say it.”

“I’m yours.”

“Good girl.”

He lets me go and smooths his hair back, taking a calming breath. I swallow the saliva piling into my mouth, scared I’m going to puke all over the sink I’ve just cleaned.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He jerks me to him and holds me tight, kissing the top of my head. “I’m a goddamn mess, babygirl. I shouldn’t have done that.”

My silence makes him more desperate.

“Forgive me?” When I still don’t respond, he tips my chin with his finger. “Please say you forgive me. I mean it. I’m sorry. I know your boundaries and I shouldn’t have acted like that. It’s just that…” His eyes tighten like he’s in pain. “I’m so fucked in the head about Dmitri. I can’t turn off my rage or my possessiveness. It’s driving me crazy that he’s touched you.”

“You made that happen, Kaleb. Not him. And not me.”

“ I know that !” he screams in my face.

I can feel his heart jack hammering against his chest when I press my palm against him to keep him back. The veins in his temples have popped out, too.

“I’m sorry I put you in this position, Daelyn. But you’re the only one I trust. I can’t give this job to anyone but you.”

Sure, he can. He chose me because he doesn’t really care about me. If he did… if he ever loved me even for a day… he would never have done the things he’s done.

“I’ve got you, Kaleb.”

He makes this distressed little noise that almost breaks me.

Almost .

But my walls are back up and I’m numbing out again. Detaching is second nature to me. I’m too good at it. “Let me get dressed and then we can grab a bite to eat.”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” he says. Bending down, he pulls my shorts back up and buttons them. “I’m gonna go.”

The war of butterflies and bees in my belly amplifies. He wants me to fight him. To tell him to stay. I refuse.

“Okay.” I hold my breath, reading his expression.

He doesn’t give away a single emotion. Kaleb’s gaze locks on mine for a heartbeat, then drifts to my mouth, my tits, my pussy.

His cell goes off and he answers without looking at who the caller is. “What?”

“We gotta problem,” I hear Ace say.

“On my way.” He shoves his cell into his back pocket and stares at the joining of my thighs for a moment longer before turning and walking out.

It’s only when I hear my front door shut, that my knees buckle, and tears fall.