Chapter Thirteen

As he stood outside the row house door, Zane realized how nervous he was. Not scared, not angry. Nervous. He hadn't seen or heard from Ty since the day Ty had decked him. Four long, lonely, and miserable days that had driven home to Zane just how very important Ty was to him. Every night, lying alone in a cold bed with a lamp on so he wouldn't be in the dark, Zane had struggled to accept that however unintentionally, he'd scared Ty badly and needed to apologize. He'd wrangled even more with the possibility that Ty wouldn't give him the chance, which had only fed Zane's irrational fear of losing him altogether.

Zane had seen Ty easily forgive and let something go—it was one of the most prominent aspects of Ty's unusual personality. But Zane had never seen Ty angry enough to literally walk away. Even when Zane had been drunk on the cruise ship, Ty had dragged him to the pool to sober him up instead of telling him he was done. Then today, the news about Ty and the girl—it had almost knocked Zane over as he realized just what exactly Ty had been dealing with that day.

Zane would get down on his knees and beg to get back into Ty's good graces, if that was what it took.

But first things first. He rapped hard on the door.

It took a full minute before the lock on the door turned. When Ty swung the door open, he wore nothing but a towel, rivulets of water still running down his chest and arms.

"Garrett," he said in surprise.

At the sight of all that glorious skin, heat slashed through Zane so fast that he lost track of what he had carefully planned to say. Instead he reached out, grabbed Ty by the back of the neck, and yanked him a step closer so he could kiss him messily.

Ty flailed and struggled to keep his balance. Zane distantly realized that Ty had his gun in his hand. When Zane pulled back, he glanced at the weapon—pointed away, luckily—and then at Ty for a split second before doing what he'd come to do in the first place.

He slugged Ty.

Ty reeled back, too surprised by the double-edged assault to keep his feet. The gun went skittering across the hardwood, and Ty wound up flat on his back, the towel miraculously still wrapped around his hips.

Zane stood in the doorway, yanked his Wayfarers off, and took a couple of heartbeats to admire the sight. "Didn't see that coming, did you?" he asked as he set his hands on his hips.

Ty shook his head violently, as if trying to clear it, and he pushed up onto his elbows. "What the hell, Zane?" he said in a hoarse, angry voice. "Is there a car out there? People are watching me!"

"Of course there's not a car, I checked. They stopped watching you after your death threat," Zane retorted, stepping inside and kicking the door shut. "You—you spent all that time taking care of me, and then you just took off!" Zane accused with a pointed finger.

"You—!"

"And you chewed the hell out of my ass and then didn't even give me a chance to apologize for being a jerk," Zane finished, feeling the frustration starting to ebb. Just being with Ty made a difference. "But mostly? Hitting me while I was blind was a low blow, even if I did deserve it." He offered his hand to help Ty up.

Ty looked at his hand and then back up at him incredulously. "Is that supposed to be an apology? God, you're such a dick!"

Zane stared down at him, all too aware of how thankful he was he could see Ty's face again. He'd dreamed about it every night. "No, that wasn't an apology." He went down on one knee next to Ty and took a deep breath. "But this is: I am sorry that I scared you. I didn't think it through, and I'm sorry that after all that time you spent supporting me, you were the one who got let down. I know I can't change it, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

Ty blinked at him, obviously surprised by the real apology. He pushed himself up to sit, looking up at Zane grimly. "That was better," he commented with a curt nod. "Did it hurt?"

"Being hit, hitting you, or apologizing?" Zane asked tentatively. Ty snorted and shook his head, looking out the front window. "I hope all of it hurt," he muttered, disgruntled. He reached out and gripped Zane's shoulder, using him to pull himself to his feet. "How'd you get here? And why are you here, besides the urgent need to deliver a knuckle sandwich?" Ty asked as he turned away from him and began walking through the long row house toward the kitchen at the back. His voice was low and controlled, almost devoid of emotion. That meant he was trying to hide that he was angry or hurt.

Zane just punching him in the face aside, if Ty was still angry at him after four days, Zane had no idea what he could do about it. "Came from the office," he answered as he got to his feet. "I heard about what happened at the bank."

Ty stopped at the kitchen counter, placing his hands flat on the countertop, his back still to Zane. He was tense, the muscles in his back and shoulders jumping as he gripped the counter top. The towel was losing its battle with gravity, though, and that was a distraction Zane was determined to ignore. For now.

He slowly approached, not trying to muffle his footsteps on the hardwood, until he stood barely a foot behind Ty. After a moment's deliberation, he reached out to gently lay a hand on each of Ty's shoulders. He was taut as a bowstring beneath Zane's fingers. Giving Ty time to react, Zane slowly took that last step to hold Ty against his chest and carefully close his arms around him. He didn't have anything to say. He knew words wouldn't help.

Ty lowered his head, reaching one hand up to place it over Zane's. The tension invested in him began to ebb, and he slumped.

Zane tightened his hold and pressed a gentle kiss to Ty's ear. "I've got you," he whispered.

"Took you long enough," Ty answered in a hard voice. He turned his head, his cheek brushing Zane's lips.

Pain jabbed Zane's chest. "I'm sorry," he breathed, arms tightening even more. He wanted to ask why Ty hadn't said anything, why he hadn't called, but they were stupid questions and wouldn't make a difference now. Ty had gone looking for him, and Zane hadn't been there. That was the bottom line. He needed to be thinking about Ty right now, not himself.

Ty shook his head, either rejecting the apology or telling Zane he didn't have to apologize again.

"I'm here now," Zane said, drawing courage from the fact Ty hadn't pushed him away.

"They keep flashing her picture on the news," Ty said in a low rumble. "I had to unplug the TV. Cut off the phone."

For a moment, Zane was lost, but then it clicked. "Was it bad?" he asked quietly, setting his chin on Ty's shoulder.

"I took her through the shoulder joint. I was trying to make certain her arm went down so she couldn't pull the trigger. They told me it destroyed the ball and socket—she'll never use the arm again."

"But she's alive," Zane pointed out gently.

Ty nodded jerkily. He was looking at the counter devotedly. Zane felt him tense again. "What the hell are these fucking kids doing?"

Zane shook his head, knowing Ty would be able to feel it. "I tried calling you."

"Turned off my phone. Mac kicked me out, Sidewinder went home," Ty muttered.

Zane didn't ask if there were more reasons, reasons that included him. "We got a line on the ringleader. He pretty much matches the sketch you had drawn. We spent the last couple of days trying to run him down. He's not anywhere his records say he could be, so no luck yet. Mac said the girl was afraid of him, didn't know why he wanted to hurt people."

Zane could feel Ty coiling like a snake about to strike. It was painfully obvious that anger and frustration and guilt and probably a myriad of other emotions had been building inside him the last few days, possibly weeks. He raised his head and breathed out slowly, resting his head against Zane's shoulder as the tension inexplicably ebbed.

He rubbed a hand over his face and turned in Zane's arms.

"It's not like you to bottle up like this," Zane said, taking in the unusually dark circles under Ty's eyes.

Ty met his gaze silently for a long moment, then snaked his arms up around Zane's neck and hugged him, burrowing his face under Zane's chin. Zane held him tight, feeling his eyes prickle, determined not to move from this spot until Ty was ready.

When Ty finally spoke, his voice was muffled, with a wry twist to it. "I'm sorry I went ballistic on you."

Zane wrinkled his nose. "Could've been worse. Some good did come of it," he replied, opening his eyes, the flood of relief at being able to see still fresh.

"You deserved it."

"Not arguing."

Ty raised his head to look at him, finally releasing him and leaning back against the counter. He looked spent, physically and emotionally. "Are you really better?" he asked in sincere concern. "Your eyes?"

Zane relaxed, though the worry for his lover's state of mind still loomed large. "Still a little bleary, but almost back to normal. Doctor said not to be surprised if there was a little more bleeding or blurring." He shrugged as he lifted one hand to cup Ty's cheek. "More than anything, I needed to see you again," he whispered.

Ty rewarded the honesty with a melancholy smile. "I missed you too. Jerk," he tacked on, smile growing.

"Yeah, I deserve that," Zane murmured as he stroked his fingers along Ty's cheekbone. "I might have left a bruise here."

Ty rolled his eyes. "Of course you did."

Zane leaned down and brushed his lips gently over the abused cheek. Ty's eyes fluttered shut, and Zane felt the shiver run through his body.

"That's better," Ty whispered, voice gone rough.

"Will you let me stay?" Zane murmured, lips brushing Ty's skin.

"I don't let you do anything, Zane," Ty answered, voice low and dry. His fingers slid into Zane's hair. "But I'd really love it if you stayed."

Zane tipped his head to one side. "As long as you want."

Amusement flashed through Ty's eyes. "You're practically groveling."

Zane hummed in agreement. "Is it working?"

"I am finding you oddly attractive," Ty deadpanned. "What can I do to make myself irresistibly attractive?"

Ty glanced up like he was pondering the question. Then he started shaking his head. "No, too many memories of horrible puns."

Zane huffed, feeling a little more of the tension in the air ease. He almost threw back a flippant answer, but instead he said, "I'll give them up, if you want."

"No you won't," Ty said with a bark of laughter.

"I'd try," Zane insisted, lowering his arms to curl them around Ty's waist.

Ty rolled his eyes again, grinning now and shaking his head in exasperation. "Christ, Zane, just kiss me already."

Zane did, thankfully, earnestly, letting it soak in that Ty had forgiven him. The unresolved danger still hung over their heads, but for now, Zane had Ty in his arms and wasn't being sent away or left behind.

Ty seemed willing to cooperate, returning the languid kiss as his hands moved under Zane's jacket. It didn't last nearly long enough before he pulled away and patted Zane's hip. "Let me make a phone call, okay?"

Zane nodded and let go, though reluctantly, as Ty sidestepped away from him, going around the counter to the corner of the kitchen where he kept his phone charger. He unplugged the cell phone and turned it on, then dialed and watched Zane as he waited for an answer. It was hard to read Ty's expression, and Zane suffered a moment's uncertainty, struck with the feeling that he still needed to make amends for something.

Ty's conversation was short. "Hey, man. I need to bail on you today." He looked down as he spoke. "No, everything's fine. I just need to take care of something. I'll catch up with you later, okay? Okay. Bye."

When he ended the call, he plugged the phone back in, then leaned on the counter to look at Zane expectantly.

Zane resisted the urge to fidget. "Should I... be apologizing again?"

Ty shook his head. "Deuce," he explained without looking away. "He's been in town for some shrink thing."

Though Zane was surprised and pleased to hear that Ty's brother was in town, he didn't really care at that exact moment. "I don't want to talk about your brother," he managed to get out, though not quite evenly.

"No?" Ty asked innocently. Finally, that flash of mischief appeared in his eyes. True to form, he was enjoying these last moments of Zane's torture for revenge. He forgave easily, but he didn't exactly forget. "I just cleared my whole day, Garrett. What do you want to talk about?"

Zane knew he was being needled. "Baby," he pleaded.

"Oh, you're pitiful. Fine," Ty muttered, rolling his eyes as he made his way around the counter. "Let me go find some pants," he said. He patted Zane's hip on the way to the stairs.

Zane followed close behind, reaching out to pluck at the towel as they climbed the stairs. "You don't need pants," Zane said, starting to smile. "In fact, you don't even need this."

Ty turned to look down at him, standing naked on the steps, unruffled. He raised one eyebrow, obviously trying not to smile. "Is that so?"

"That is so," Zane acknowledged, stopping and smoothing his palm over Ty's ass before patting it and nodding up the stairs.

Ty huffed at him stubbornly. "Fine. I'm sick of weird furniture imprints on my ass, anyway," he said with a crooked, impish smile. He turned and headed up the steps as he spoke. "There are still people who would like very much to kill us, you know. And co-workers randomly dropping by to make sure we're alive."

Zane shook his head as he followed Ty. "Right now all I care about is you."

Ty stopped at the top of the stairs and turned to look down at him. He stayed there until Zane was just a step below him. "You should try saying that more often."

Zane looked up to meet his eyes seriously. "I will."

Ty reached out to tug on his hair, then turned and headed for the bedroom. Zane took that as approval of what he'd said and smiled, then followed right behind him, not stopping until he stood on the threshold. Leaning there, he watched the lithe flow of his lover's body as Ty yanked the curtains on the balcony doors closed and then turned to Zane in the dimmed room, wearing that smile of his again. Zane figured it could either bode well for him... or very well for him. With a smirk of his own, he knelt and started unlacing one of his boots.

Ty moved around the bed, messing with the covers, digging into the bedside drawer. He certainly didn't have any clothes to get rid of, and Zane caught himself watching instead of unlacing. He jerked one boot off and tossed it aside, then switched knees and started on the other. Maybe he'd wear his cross-trainers and start driving the truck a little more, once he got it back, instead of riding the Valkyrie and wearing boots. He knew Ty would approve. Zane glanced up, and Ty raised an eyebrow at him. He was standing beside the bed, waiting patiently. So patiently, in fact, that it was almost suspicious.

Distracted by watching him, Zane slowed as he pulled off the other boot and let it thump to the carpet. "What?"

Ty shook his head. "Just waiting for you, Christmas."

Instead of getting up, Zane waved Ty over. "C'mere." The bed was handy—Ty could sit and be somewhat in one place, and Zane was on his knees and would be able to touch and watch all he wanted. If Ty cooperated.

Ty moved to stand in front of him and ran one hand into Zane's hair affectionately. Zane smiled and reached up to slide his hands around the backs of Ty's thighs. "You watched over me for over a week. Why don't you let me pay attention to you for a while?"

Ty cocked his head and looked down at Zane in bemusement. "I was imagining less talking and more being tackled to the bed when we came up here," he said wryly as he twirled a lock of Zane's hair around his finger. "What'd you have in mind?"

Zane decided he'd rather show than tell. Still grasping Ty's legs, he leaned forward and licked a long swath up Ty's inner thigh, dragging his tongue along the side of Ty's cock to the soft skin in the crease of his leg.

Ty's hand tightened in his hair, and he made a soft whuffing sound as his body tensed. Encouraged, Zane dropped his head and repeated the movement on the other side, this time angling further between Ty's legs and nosing against him gently. He heard Ty catch his breath, and it helped bolster the nerves fluttering in his stomach. This was the first time he'd ever attempted this. When Ty's hand tightened further in his hair, Zane could tell that he was trying desperately to hold still.

Zane tried not to smile. "Want to sit down?" he asked, glancing up the length of Ty's body as he mouthed along the side of Ty's thickening erection. Ty nodded jerkily, but he didn't move. "I promise I won't stop," Zane said as he leaned back before pushing slightly at Ty's hips. The bed was just two small steps behind him.

Ty took one big step back and sat down heavily. His trademark grin was long gone. Zane thought he might have caught a glimmer of concern in Ty's eyes, but it was hard to tell. Apparently Ty—or Ty's body, at least—approved of Zane's choice of attentions: he was rock hard, and there was a slight tremor to his hands.

"Relax," Zane said as he shifted to kneel between Ty's knees. "You don't need to do this," Ty whispered to him with a shake of his head.

Zane propped one arm across Ty's knee and met his eyes. "I want to," he said simply. And he did. He'd thought about it several times, and it had turned into almost something of a craving. A craving that now got Zane hard whenever he thought of it. He wanted to be on his knees for Ty.

Ty lay back on his elbows, his eyes still locked on Zane's. Zane took care not to break that eye contact as he lowered his head, took Ty in hand, and licked around the swollen head of Ty's cock, slow and deliberate. His stomach cramped with a jumble of nerves and need and desire and excitement.

Ty caught his breath and lifted his chin, his eyes drifting shut. Zane could feel the muscles in his thighs tense as he tried to restrain his movements. Zane used his free hand to stroke along Ty's leg and up his belly as he closed his mouth over Ty and suckled tentatively. Ty seemed a lot bigger when he was between Zane's lips. It was an odd feeling, the head of Ty's cock on his tongue. But he liked it. He liked the way it filled his mouth and the way the skin was soft against his lips. He even liked the way he could taste Ty leaking onto the tip of his tongue.

Ty's hand slid into his hair again, his fist tightening but not actually moving Zane's head. It was reassuring, and Zane settled in to figure out what he could and couldn't handle, what he liked, and most importantly, what made Ty shudder under his hands. It was warm and wet and more than a mouthful, and the sensation of Ty twitching on his tongue almost did Zane in. Feeling Ty's reactions had Zane so aroused that he was hurting, and he dropped one hand to unbutton his jeans for some relief.

Ty cursed under his breath, lifting his hips just slightly as he writhed. Zane groaned in reaction and clutched at himself as he moved his other hand to splay over Ty's abdomen, riding the movements.

"Fuck, Zane," Ty gasped, his voice strained. The muscles under Zane's palm tightened as Ty moved again. He might have been doing everything he could not to move his hips, but it was becoming obvious that it was a losing battle.

Zane pulled off of Ty and had to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. "Go ahead and move. I'm not going to let you choke me," he added before wrapping his hand around the shaft of Ty's cock and using his mouth to cover the head. He could taste Ty more now, that odd spiciness on his tongue, and he moaned. He thought he might like it if Ty came in his mouth, but he wasn't that brave. Yet. Ty echoed the sound he made, slightly more desperate. He reached down to grasp at Zane with his other hand, his fingers dragging against Zane's shoulder as he lifted his hips off the bed. Zane looked up to see him—Zane wanted to see it, wanted to see all of it.

Ty had his head back on the bed, his chin jutting upward as his lips parted on a groan. Every muscle in his body was tense. He breathed out sharply and looked down at Zane when he felt him move. He reached down and pressed his palm against Zane's cheek.

Zane turned his face into Ty's hand, rubbing, and after another few moments, he slowly let Ty slide out of his mouth and then licked his lips as he started pumping his fist over Ty's cock, just how he knew Ty liked.

Ty groaned plaintively and grabbed Zane's hair again, yanking his head back as he sat up. "Come here," he said, his voice low and gruff. Zane let go of him and pushed himself up with a wince, unfolded from the floor, and crawled carefully up over his lover.

Ty's hands slid up his sides, under his shirt, pushing it up as his callused hands dragged along Zane's skin. He was watching Zane's face unerringly, his lips still parted as if anticipating a kiss. It was more than Zane wanted to resist. He leaned down to kiss Ty slowly and thoroughly as he pressed his groin against Ty's hard-muscled thigh.

The pressure forced another groan out of Zane, and he gasped against Ty's lips.

Ty pulled at his shirt, trying to get it off him but reluctant to break the kiss. He growled in frustration. "Get this off," he ordered as he pushed at Zane's jeans. "I told you to stop wearing so many damn clothes."

Zane huffed and crawled backward off Ty and the bed just long enough to yank his shirt off and shove his jeans and briefs down. Then he was right back on top of Ty, hot skin snagging and tugging all over.

Ty wrapped around him, the slide of their bodies so familiar and natural. He hummed against the kiss, rewarding Zane with a grateful sigh. Zane moaned happily. It felt so good. He'd been growing more accustomed to the buoyant happiness, the sheer... contentment that spread through him whenever he was close to Ty—sex or not. And every touch made Zane that much more determined to never let go.

"Baby," he breathed. "I need you."

"I know," Ty murmured. He kissed Zane messily while one hand fumbled around beside them on the bed, seeking that little tube of lubricant he'd gotten out earlier.

Zane took several slow, deep breaths, trying to calm down. He wasn't sure if he had a lot of time or almost none before he lost control. He groaned and dropped his forehead to Ty's shoulder. Ty's arms wrapped around him, and then he began pushing Zane sideways, trying to roll them over as he muttered something incoherent. Zane let the momentum move him and landed on the mattress on his side, legs tangling with Ty's.

"Fuck," Zane bit off as their cocks slid together, and he was ready to grab hold right then and there and jack them until he and Ty came screaming. Ty did reach between them, his fingers sliding over them before he gripped Zane's hip as Zane sucked in a sharp breath. Ty tossed his leg over Zane's thigh, flexing his hips.

"We're not going to make it to the lube, are we?" Ty asked in a rough, amused voice as he pressed his nose to Zane's and let their lips drag together.

"Round two," Zane promised as he dragged his fingers down Ty's chest to palm his lover's cock. "Please," he begged as he hitched himself closer.

Ty groaned against his lips and kissed him again. He worked one hand under Zane's neck, curling it around to pull Zane closer. The other hand slid between their bodies again, fingers stroking, palm sliding up and down Zane and between his legs. Zane shivered as he touched Ty the same way, and the electricity of Ty's touch spidered through him, making him twitch and gasp as he stiffened, right on the edge.

"Come on, baby," Ty rasped at him, kissing him hastily as he jacked him harder. A yell wrenched its way out of Zane before he could bite it back. The sudden contact of Ty's hard body against his aching cock was too much to handle, and Zane curled his fists against Ty's back and cried out wordlessly as he spurted into Ty's hand. Ty continued relentlessly, stroking him as his fingers dragged against Zane's abs. Zane barely registered it when Ty pushed him to his back, kissing him just as enthusiastically. He tried to kiss, too, but he was shaking too hard to hold his hands still.

Ty's fingers were on his cheek again. He was holding Zane's head as he kissed him, pushing down and against his body, his kisses more frantic and breathless than they had been. Zane was swept up in it, giving himself over to Ty, dizzy with his orgasm and overheated by the press of their bodies. It took him too long to realize that Ty was actually speaking in between the almost frenzied meetings of their lips. What he was saying Zane couldn't decipher, but he knew he heard the words "missed you" and "love" among them, and suddenly his eyes prickled and his chest tightened. Throat choking up, Zane reached out to wrap his arms around Ty to pull him closer.

Ty actually growled. He rutted against Zane, using the hard muscle over Zane's hip for friction. He slid both hands under Zane's arms, under his body, and gripped the backs of his shoulders again. It was a position they'd found themselves in plenty of times before, and their bodies melded well. Of course, usually Ty was buried to the hilt inside Zane at this point, and the feel of his cock sliding instead against the curve of his groin was both exciting and erotic, like Ty wanted him too badly to take more care in how they both came. Ty bit at Zane's lower lip, thrusting his tongue into Zane's mouth the same way he probably wanted to thrust something else into him.

It filtered through the passion that Zane felt wanted and needed and loved, and it pulled another groan from him. "Ty," he moaned once their mouths broke apart.

Ty ducked his head and pressed his cheek against Zane's, ceasing the frantic movements for a moment as the world moved a little slower around them. Then Ty gasped against Zane's ear and moved over him, their bodies sliding together. Zane tried to focus on what Ty was doing, but he was still woozy and weak. He managed to spread his legs, giving Ty more room between them.

Ty turned his head again, laughing breathlessly. "I wouldn't make it five seconds if I fucked you right now," he told Zane tightly.

"I totally understand," Zane said on a half laugh. "Let me help, baby."

Ty pushed up, then rolled them instead, and he pulled Zane with him until they both lay on their sides again. Zane reached out to press both palms to Ty's chest, feeling its rise and fall.

Ty threw his leg over Zane's hip again, thrusting himself hard against Zane's body.

"Yes," Zane hissed, gripping Ty's thigh and adding a little push to his hips.

"Christ, Zane," Ty gasped out desperately. His fingers dug into Zane's back, his blunt fingernails scratching their way down one side as he sought release. Ty had never been one to cause pain intentionally in bed; he had to be so far gone into the pleasure he didn't know he was doing it. Zane squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered. The sting easily blended with the thrill still lapping through him. He felt himself going hard again, and he groaned aloud and clutched at Ty, trying to twist to get more stimulation, even if nothing would come of it. This time, anyway.

Ty arched his back, and the movement of his hips became more erratic. His cock slid against Zane, hard and demanding. He pulled Zane closer, kissing him possessively, his fingers digging in. He broke the kiss with a sharp gasp and groaned loudly, the sound almost desperate, as Zane felt the warm come spreading against his belly. Zane kissed along Ty's jaw and throat, silently awed by how incredible they were together.

Zane pushed his face into the sweaty skin at the crook of Ty's neck and held on tight.

Ty was still breathing hard, shivers running through his body as he hugged Zane to him. They stayed that way for what seemed like a long time, long enough for Ty to get his breathing under control again and for the cool air to become noticeable on their bare skin.

Finally, Ty moved, but only enough to shift his arm into a more comfortable position and pull Zane closer. "What brought that on?" he asked quietly.

Zane wasn't sure he could vocalize the words that were whizzing through his mind like a Tilt-A-Whirl. "Missed you," he got out. But then he tacked on, in a bare whisper, "Afraid of losing you."

Ty sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping as his grip on Zane loosened. "We're too naked to argue right now, but we're definitely having a talk about the sexual-favors-to-keep-my-interest issue," he mumbled. His words were teasing, but the tone was decidedly less cheerful.

"Wasn't all about apologizing or keeping your interest," Zane tried to offer in his defense. "I'd gotten so riled up just thinking about what it would be like to suck your dick that I could hardly stand it anymore."

Ty was silent, not even breathing as he apparently mulled over what Zane had said. After a few tense moments, he let the air out in a rush and laughed. "Hell, Zane, why didn't you say so? I could have helped you out earlier."

Zane wrinkled his nose and shrugged slightly under Ty's weight. "Took me a while to work myself up to the idea. For some reason it's more... I don't know. Intimate, I guess. Even than fucking."

Ty turned his head, looking at Zane thoughtfully. He just nodded minutely and reached up to run his fingers through Zane's hair. It felt like the place for "I love you" again. Zane suspected that was what Ty wanted to say.

So now, that left the words to Zane. It was time. He'd thought it to death, tried to reason out if he was right or wrong, worked to let go of the past and live in the now, chewed over his fears about being worthy of Ty. Zane swallowed hard, taking a quick breath to quell the rush of adrenaline. Fight or flight, he thought distantly, his pulse roaring in his ears.

"You okay?" Ty asked, reading him well.

Zane squeezed his eyes shut for a second, then blinked them open and started to nod, but he stopped and gave a half-shrug. "I'm a little... overwhelmed," he rasped.

Ty reached up and ran his fingers lightly over Zane's face, trailing them gently around his eyes. "Have you been sleeping?" he asked grimly, as if he already knew the answer.

Zane turned his cheek into Ty's hand, seeking more contact. Ty knew him very well, better than Zane knew Ty by far. "Not really," Zane admitted. "Too anxious to relax, I guess."

"I figured," Ty responded with a slow nod. He pushed himself up, pulling his arm out from under Zane, and he sat up. "Stay," he told Zane as he got up and headed out of the bedroom.

Zane lay back against the pillows and closed his eyes. He could practically hear his heart beating, it was thumping so hard. He turned his face into the pillow and breathed in Ty's familiar scent. Nerves still sparked through him, and he knew he'd have to deal with the panic soon. The intense relief from the momentary reprieve was tinged with an odd disappointment, and he found he wanted to grasp at the moment and bring it back, do it differently.

Zane didn't open his eyes until a towel flopped onto his belly. "You have that look," Ty observed as he stood at the edge of the bed and looked down at Zane in concern.

Zane fought the reflex urge to wipe his emotions off his face and offered a small smile. "Do I?"

But Ty didn't return the smile. He sat down instead, then stretched out beside Zane on the bed. "You look like you're about to cut and run," he observed in an almost offhand manner.

This time Zane did clamp down on his outward reaction. "I'm the one who came here looking for you, remember?"

It was nearly impossible to decipher what Ty was thinking as he took in Zane's features, and Zane felt a moment's frustration that Ty could block him out so easily. Ty sat up suddenly, bending and stretching to the end of the bed where he always kept a spare quilt folded up. He shook it out and lay back with it, pulling it up over them as he turned toward Zane and rested his head on Zane's shoulder.

Unsure of what to do or say, Zane simply closed his arms around Ty. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the crown of his lover's head. Suddenly there were all sorts of words crowding on Zane's tongue, and he couldn't get a single one out, much less three that would prove he knew the best thing to happen to him in his entire life lay right there in his arms.