CHAPTER TWELVE

MOLLY

––––––––

When I wake from my nap, Payton is lying on the other side of my bed staring at me and it gives me fright.

"Dude. That's kind of creepy." I giggle, the wine still in my system. But I'm dehydrated. "Water. I need water."

She rolls over and hands me a glass that's sitting on the nightstand.

"So..." She grins as if she has an announcement.

I try to sit up but flop back down.

"What's going on? You're getting married tomorrow and pregnant. Unless you won the lottery which technically, you already have." I wave around at the house. "Then I'm out of guesses."

Payton props up on her elbow. "Not me. You. You KISSED Atlas."

Oh.

That.

Shit.

"Not kissed kissed him. It was just a drunken mistake done in response to winning. I could have kissed Levi." I argue poorly.

We both know I wouldn't have.

"But. You. Didn't," she says slowly.

I sip the water.

Slowly.

"Fine. You caught me. We are having a double wedding tomorrow. Help me get a dress." I attempt to steer her off course with my poor humor.

She scrambles up in a sitting position and crosses her legs.

"But do you like him?" Payton asks.

As a man he's infuriating. As a lover, he's sexually talented and does things with his tongue I could never tell another soul about.

Do I like him?

My body likes him.

But he's from a different world and I've watched him on his phone sneaking around making calls and sending messages.

It's obvious he's nervous.

Is it because he is seeing someone and feeling guilty about sleeping with me?

He should.

The only reason I haven't said anything is because Atlas thinks Greg is in my life and...well I don't want him to think he's not.

Greg is my excuse, if I need an out fast.

Not that it's deterred him so far.

Which, when you think about it, just tells me he's happy to sleep with multiple people at the same time.

Atlas isn't a man I can like or fall for.

I can't.

I shouldn't have done that.

"He's okay. Honestly, it was a drunken mistake. Like kissing your cousin."

"Gross." Payton laughs. "Not the same."

I shrug and sip more water. "Almost. We are as close as sisters, so he's family. Like an annoying brother."

She frowns. "So you just kissed your brother."

"Now you're making it weird." I laugh.

Climbing off the bed, I place the water back on the nightstand and stretch while Payton lies back down.

"I'm getting married tomorrow." She smiles at the ceiling, then at me. "Our lives have changed so much in a few months. Can you believe it?"

I go around the bed and sit next to her.

"It really has."

"I'm so proud of you for starting your business. You are going to rock it. I'd come and work for you if I wasn't having this baby."

I frown.

"Are you going to work or just be a billionaire's wife?" I regret the words as they leave my mouth.

"Is that what you think?" She rolls on her side.

I shrug.

"I don't know. How does this work? Does he just shove money at you every week?"

Ugh. I'd hate that.

"We have a prenup, but I'm nearly his wife and the mother of his child. Our lives are forever connected," Payton says. "I can't explain it. Babies change everything."

What she's trying to accurately say is I don't understand.

I don't.

My engagement was fake, and I've never been pregnant. No man has truly been committed to me. I can't imagine how it must feel.

"Knox is rich. He is who he is. There are pros and cons to this kind of wealth. If I want to go back to work at a certain point, he won't stop me." Payton adds.

"You could always start your own business." I suggest.

"Maybe. I've never had the same leadership skills you have, though. Never say never though."

I hate that I made her happy new life about money. That wasn't what I meant. I just can't imagine trusting a man to such a huge degree that he is the sole income earner.

Even if the amount is big or small.

I'd feel...vulnerable.

"Being a mom is a huge job. An important one. Just focus on that for now. Who knows, you might have number two soon after."

"Lord, let me push this one out first." Payton laughs.

I let our conversation settle into comfortable silence and then ask. "So are you sure about marrying him now?"

"Surer than anything I've ever done. I love Knox. I love this baby." She places her hand on her tummy. "I guess I did just have a little moment of doubt, but it's gone."

I'm hit with a dose of envy that almost knocks me over.

I want to cry.

I never got my wedding. In fact, even my engagement party was one big fucking lie. He never wanted that.

I don't know what he wanted.

Not me.

It's hard to imagine how I could ever trust a man again. I'm not sure I will.

Even now, on Payton's behalf, I'm looking for reasons it might not be safe for her. That's not my job, I know that, but she's my best friend.

I love her.

I care about her.

If someone had done the same for me, it might have saved me from years of heartache and a whole heap of embarrassment.

"How could he do this?" Mom asked me time and time again.

"We'll have to send all the gifts back. Did you see the coffee maker from Peterson's? They spent a lot of money," Dad said.

It had taken months of returning and apologizing to friends and family. People wanted to understand but I refused to let Mom tell them the truth.

We just told them that the engagement party had made both of us realize the commitment we were making and the reality of it caused the breakup.

A solid reason.

I push away all my emotions.

"Well I'm proud to stand beside you tomorrow and watch you marry your dream man." I lean down and give Payton a hug. "I'm so happy for you."

Tears build in Payton's eyes, and I smile warmly back.

"I better go. All our parents will be arriving soon." She sniffs. "I just wanted to sneak in and be with my BFF before the chaos begins."

I sigh.

"Yeah, I might go stretch my legs and then have a shower and get ready for tonight." I stand and yawn. "Day drinking is so much fun but never ends well."

Payton snickers.

"Two hours until dinner. I'll see you when you get back." She climbs off the bed and closes the door behind her.

I change into a pair of olive-green sweatpants and a hoodie, then jog out of the house and down onto the beach.

The light wind whips my ponytail around as my sneakers leave footprints in the white sand. The tide is not quite high so there is plenty of beach as the sun dips low in the sky.

A couple in the distance walks hand in hand and a couple of kids are tossing a frisbee.

I've always loved the beach but rarely spend time at one. Who knows, as Payton's friend I might be invited back from time to time. Unlikely, but you never know.

I doubt I'll be flown in a helicopter again.

I spot a male figure and after few minutes, as I get closer, I realize its Atlas.

I stop, unsure what to do.

The last thing I want him to think is that I came out here to see him.

Kissing him in front of everyone was a mistake. I was caught up in the moment and got carried away.

When Atlas shook my hand, it was the strangest feeling. An insight into our future as just friends. After being so intimate with him a few times now— including in the restrooms at the winery, omg —I wonder at how it's going to feel.

To be in a room with him and not feel anything.

To watch him with another woman.

To feel something and see him with someone else.

It will eventually happen.

I get closer and noticed that he hasn't spotted me. I watch as he turns toward the ocean, his phone at his ear. It might be his body language, but he looks tense.

Stressed.

He runs his hand through his hair and drops his arm, frustrated.

Is he talking to his girlfriend?

I don't know whether to slow as I approach and wave or go wide and pretend I don't see him. And if he does have a girlfriend, then I need to stop sleeping with him.

Atlas glances in my direction and his face softens. His hand goes in his pocket as the wind flicks at his hair. But his eyes never leave mine.

So I walk to him.

It would be awkward if I didn't.

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow," he says roughly into the phone. "I'm chill." He laughs and glances out toward the water. "I'll be happier when I hear from you tomorrow."

Somehow I know it's a woman.

It grates at my nerves, but I don't want to raise the who is Greg question, so I zip my lips.

I wrap my arms around my middle, feeling the chill of the later afternoon and consider just walking off.

"Bye," Atlas says and ends the call. He pockets the phone and turns to me. "You look cold."

"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt," I say, ignoring his comment.

"You didn't."

That's all he says.

No explanation as to who it was.

Not that he needs to give me one. He's not my boyfriend, but regardless I feel my triggers rising to the surface.

They have no place here.

I have no rights to this man, yet here I am grinding my teeth and trying to search for some other words to say except who the hell was that.

I push the emotions back and point along the beach. "I better keep walking. It's cold like you say. See you back at the house."

I step backward a few steps, heading toward the other end waiting for him to say goodbye.

Altas follows, his eyes dipping to my lips. "Care for some company?"

Just like that my body flares to life in reaction and I want to scream at it for being a traitor. I find it impossible to not respond to this man.

He knows it too.

His lip quirks and I groan. "Not that kind of company."

He surprises me by taking my hand and leading me along the sand. "I don't always mean sex. Maybe I just want to talk."

I doubt it.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" I test him.

"Tell me about your company," Atlas asks.

Oh.

It takes me a moment to realize he's serious.

"I'm a marketer," I say, pulling my hand from his and sinking them both into my hoodie pocket.

"So...marketing is pretty broad. Are you offering strategic services or social media? Advertising?"

I like that he knows that, and his interest isn't just a token gesture. This is a side to Atlas I've never seen before. It's always been sexual between us, or he's been bantering with his brothers.

I find myself relaxing and opening up. I tell him more about what my business currently offers and how I plan to grow.

"Strategy, but my strengths lie in advertising creatives. I used to work with Payton."

"That's how you met." He nods and I do the same back.

I smile and reach down, picking up a shell.

"Do you like your job? Or does it not feel like a job when you work for your family company?" I glance over at him.

Sometimes Atlas is so handsome it takes my breath away. His jaw, dusted with dark hair, is strong and sure. His deep blue eyes seem to see right through me and challenge me to connect with him on a level I don't know I ever could.

He's smart, cheeky, and confident.

I'm not lacking in confidence in myself—trusting men, sure—but I know my strengths and weaknesses. Yet there's a difference between us. One I can't put my finger on.

Perhaps it's the alpha dominant traits that I see come to life when we're intimate?

Atlas smiles, glancing out to sea. "I get up each morning, same as you, Molly. I have to do a day's work, and I take home a paycheck."

"More than I used to get paid I'm sure," I say, then close my eyes, regretting my words. "Sorry. That was dumb."

He laughs, and I feel his hand on my lower back.

I like his touch.

It feels warm and caring.

"It's okay. I know it's hard for people to understand that despite having lots of money, someone could still have career goals."

I consider that.

I have more money in my bank than I've ever had. It did make me think differently. Like Atlas, although substantially less, it put me in a mindset of what I'd like , not what I need .

Mine is temporary, unless I can make it work.

Despite what Mom said, I don't want to fail. The thought of wasting Grandpa's money makes me feel physically ill.

"I'm sure not everyone who has great wealth does, but I respect that you do." I tell him honestly.

"Not everyone who doesn't does either. Perhaps it's a personal thing rather than money thing?" Atlas challenges.

He makes a point.

"Maybe. I was only able to start my business because Grandpa left me a small amount. I never could've done it otherwise."

Atlas presses on my back and stops us.

"Don't underestimate yourself. You would've found a way if you really wanted to become a business owner, baby," he says and the affectionate term he's used a couple of times now rolls through me. "Maybe not this year but in five or ten years."

That he has so much faith in me takes me aback.

I shake my head. "You don't know me, Atlas. You don't know if that's true."

He tilts his head and brushes the strands of hair that are whipping in the breeze behind my ear. "I know you. I can see the determination in your eyes when you try to resist me."

"Which I suck at."

Atlas laughs. "I'm impossible to resist."

"You're incorrigible. That's what you are."

He cups my face and like always, all my plans to stay away from this man vanish. His lips softly press against mine and I lean into him.

He stops too soon, and I want to beg for more.

"My good points aside, I think you underestimate yourself." He tugs me so we keep walking.

Now I just want him to kiss me.

"Money has its pros and cons. The expectations on someone like me are huge. I cannot fail."

Interesting. That's the last thing I expected to hear from him.

Now he has my full attention again.

"I can't fail either. It feels like my only chance."

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Maybe we create our chances in life, so they are unlimited?" he says as we stop again.

This man.

Who is he and where did Atlas the party boy go?

"I never figured you for the Dalia Lama type." I place my hand on his chest.

My favorite place.

His strong solid chest which made me feel so safe and whole when I fell asleep on it last night.

"I love the way you touch me," Atlas says, moving in closer while my eyes dart behind him to Jacob and Leilani's house. "Forget everyone else."

"Payton already asked me why I kissed you."

"What did you say?"

"That I was drunk."

"Do you often kiss men when you're drunk?" Atlas asks but I know its rhetorical.

Only you.

I don't say it.

It's not entirely true. I've kissed other men, but none of them mean a thing compared to Atlas Montgomery. The way he looks at me. The way my skin buzzes when he touches me.

Apparently neither of us can keep our hands off each other this weekend.

"No. But I can't pretend I don't want you anymore." I say, shaking my head and laughing at the grin on his face. "When we get home, this ends."

Now is the time I should ask him who is on the phone, but I don't.

"I'm not dating. I'm going to be focused on the business." I clarify.

"What did I tell you about not losing? Tsk, tsk, Molly. You aren't paying attention," Atlas says, tugging me against him for another mind-blowing kiss.

For a moment he has me believing I'm the love of his life.

A slice of fear and, if I'm honest, excitement, rolls through me. Do I like this man more than I think?

Oh, no.

Desiring him is one thing, falling for him is not okay.

I can't let that happen.