CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
KNOX
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I didn’t go back tothe office. Why bother?
I know what’s going to happen. The CEO position will go to another applicant, and I will have to tell my family that I have let them down.
I have let myself down.
I let Payton down.
I toss back the rest of the whisky in my glass, then walk across the floor of my penthouse and pour myself another one.
My phone beeps.
Again.
I ignore it.
Again.
You never have to see me again.
I take another big sip.
I told you I’d get fired, and you didn’t listen. God, you are so selfish.
I glance down at the bottle of Macallan and carry it over to the sofa, placing it on the coffee table in front of me. Why waste precious energy walking back and forth across the room? I know I’m going to drink the entire bottle.
I fucked up.
I know I did.
I’m just not sure what it is I fucked up the most. I’m devastated about the job. But not as much as I thought I would be.
I never expected to take possession of it for at least another ten or fifteen years.
Do I actually want to be CEO of an enormous company right now?
I love marketing. I’m enjoying having a real and direct impact on the sales. Working with my team and the agency to create amazing campaigns that are blowing our competitors away.
As I sit with my head in my hands, I think about what is actually important.
Not what I think I should want.
They are two different things.
Was I just being an egotistical asshole?
Did I think my family and those I work with in business would see me as a failure if I wasn’t successful in taking on my father”s role?
Yes.
Yes, it would’ve fucking hurt my pride.
Even though I’m only twenty-four. I hate that my age plays a part and I’m seen as not capable.
My head snaps around as I hear my door open.
“Atlas, fuck off,” I grunt and toss back more Macallan.
I hear the keys drop on my kitchen counter and lean back on the cushions with a moan.
“Fine, let’s get this over with.”
When I see the body walk into the living room, I tip my head. Ward lowers himself into the armchair across from me.
Shit.
“Is this the second interview?” I ask, the whisky making me an asshole.
“No. That ship has sailed,” my father says and even though I knew, my heart still sinks.
“Well, there’s nothing to talk about. Hence me being here and not there. So why are you here?” I ask, sitting up.
“Because you are my son and I love you.”
I stand and get him a glass, then drop it in front of him, and pour.
Ward reaches for it and leans back, taking a small sip.
Cool, calm, and collected.
The way he’s always been.
“You couldn’t give me a few days to lick my damn wounds?” A dry laugh escapes me.
“No. You might be a grown man, but you’re still my child.” Ward sips again.
“Which is the problem, isn’t it? You see me as a child and always will.”
“You were the one who fucked her.” He shrugs.
Touche.
That might be true, and he might have a point, but I don’t like the way he worded it.
Crass.
Payton isn’t just a fuck. I might talk dirty to her, but hearing someone else speaking about her like that doesn’t sit right with me at all.
“Don’t speak about Payton like that,” I say with an edge.
Ward’s brow lifts.
“You’ve cost Payton her job. And your own,” he says, leaning forward and dropping the glass on the table. “You either love her or you are nowhere near ready to lead a company. And I daresay be a partner to someone like her.”
God fucking damn him.
I want to throw my glass across the room.
I stand and run my hands through my hair. “She shouldn’t be punished. I forced her.”
“You forced her? Jesus, Knox. You raped her?”
“No.”
Shit, did I?
I stare out the window into the dark night and think. No, it’s how I fuck. I’m rough and dominant, and if she’d really meant no, I would have stopped.
“I didn’t rape her. It’s complicated between us.”
“There should’ve never been a you and her. I’ll ask you again, do you love her?” my father asks.
Shit.
I can’t do this.
She’s right.
I’ve destroyed her life.
Payton will never forgive me.
I fucked up both our lives today.
I look my father in the eye, my throat thick when I say, “If I do, I’ll be telling Payton first.”
He stands and slides his hands in his pockets. “That’s the first really truly grown-up thing I’ve heard you say.”
“Harsh.” I frown.
“You are a good man, Knox. You love your sister and your brothers. You were a wonderful son to your mother, and you are an excellent businessman. But when it comes to women, you are selfish.”
I glance away.
“Do you think a woman like your mother would have loved me if I behaved like you do?”
“No. No, I don’t.”
He lets out a long breath.
“You don’t want my job yet,” Dad says, and I lift my eyes again.
“How do you know?”
How did he know? Hell, I didn’t even know.
“I’m your father. You think you do. You don’t,” Ward says. “In five years, the contract we offer one of the other two candidates will expire. Then you and I will discuss if you are ready to take the position on then.”
“Discuss it or more fucking interviews?” I ask.
“This is your business, Knox. You, Atlas, Levis, Bella. That doesn’t change. We will, as men, sit down and decide if you are ready.”
Oh.
“At twenty-four you should be learning, experimenting, having fun. Maybe finding the woman you love.”
I think immediately about Payton.
“I have one more question before I leave. Don’t answer it. Just think about it. And consider it an observation from an old man,” he says.
I nod, indicating for him to continue.
“Did you stop sleeping with other women because of the job, or because of her?” Ward asks, a smile on his face.
My mouth parts.
I know this is more than about today.
“You knew I was sleeping with Payton?” I almost gasp. “Jesus what are you, a damn Jedi?”
He chuckles.
“No, Knox. I’m a red-blooded man.” He laughs and tugs his hands out of his pant pockets and starts to walk away.
I really don’t want to follow that path of thinking too hard. My father is a very handsome man, and we all got our looks from him, but thinking about him in action between the sheets.
No thanks.
“See you at the launch tomorrow afternoon,” he says. “Oh, and don’t wait too long if you want that girl.”
I doubt she’d want me, even if I could fix this.