26. Rhys

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Rhys

I don’t know what to say.

After four years, I never expected this to happen. Before, when it all went down, I waited for it. I had needed an explanation, something to justify the events that completely altered my life, but it never came. Time passed, and while the stain lingered, I had resigned myself.

Now that closure is finally within my reach, I don’t know what to do with it. It doesn’t feel like I thought it would. I used to think that the hatred would win out. I thought that this would be the moment I unleashed all the bitterness, but that’s not the case anymore.

I’m yearning to accept Everest’s apology. Instead of hate, I feel relief. Still, I don’t trust it. I’m hesitating because Everest broke my trust once when I least expected it, so what would stop it from happening again? I’m still holding his hand, unconsciously rubbing my thumb over his pulse point. I feel what my silence is doing to him, but I need a minute.

What would it mean to accept his apology? What would become of us? He said he understood this couldn’t be more, but is that what I want?

No, I know what I want. I want to get to know him again. I want what we used to have when I didn’t need to fight the urge to take care of him and lavish him with the attention I crave to give him. I want to not feel guilty about the possessive instinct that takes over me when it comes to him.

I want to know the man he’s become, and I want to know how I fit into the picture of his life.

“Everest—”

“And I’m sorry for everything else,” he blurts out, seemingly unable to stop now that he’s started. “I didn’t mean those things about you wasting your life bartending. It was a dick thing to say and?—”

I place a hand over his mouth to stop his rambling, quirking an eyebrow. “Can I speak now?” He nods, my hand still on his mouth until I’m sure he’s done. “First, yeah, it was. It hurt to hear you say that, but I said some shit too. We both gave as good as we got.”

“But it’s over now?” he asks, a beautiful glint of hope in his eyes. “We can be friends?”

I let out a deep breath. Forgive and forget seems like a stretch, but moving on sounds so goddamn cathartic. Like closing the door on a memory that’s haunted me for years. I look at him. Really look and, for once, I stop fighting. I let out the caged affection I have for him until it becomes overwhelming. He’s not the same person he was before, but the sweet shyness that always endeared me to him is still there.

I decide at this moment to take the leap. I don’t know if he’ll hurt me again, but the thrill of being with him is too hard to resist. He makes me feel out of control but, looking back, it’s in the best way possible. The pull I feel toward him is strong, and I’m ready to give in. I raise my hand slowly and palm his cheek. His eyes widen for a brief second before they flutter shut when I brush my thumb against his skin.

“I’m going to kiss you now, baby,” I whisper and lean in until my nose meets his. “I need you to understand what that means.”

“What?” he breathes, swaying under my hold.

“It’s in the past.” I hesitate once more as bravery helps me express what I never thought I was capable of. “Don’t hurt me again.”

“Never.” He grips my wrist tightly. “Kiss me, Rhys.”

And that’s all I need to close the distance between us and settle my lips on his.

The burst of fireworks that explodes behind my closed lids is un-fucking-believable. It’s like all that shit from romance novels is true. The minute the warmth of him hits me, I’m lost. His lips are firm, yet they yield under my tongue when I skim along his seam. He tastes like cherries and a freshness I’ve never experienced before. I consume his groan and melt when his hands knock my baseball cap off to thread through my hair.

This is different from our rough fucking, from the need to claim him so primally and assert my possession over him. It’s sweeter, slower, a dance of tongues and light scraping of teeth. It’s the final barrier that’s kept me from opening up to him, and I don’t know how I’ll stop the floodgates that have opened.

Because with one kiss, I know that not only is Everest mine—in whatever way he is—but if he keeps on drawing me in, I’ll become his too.