42. Cassidy

I jumpwhen the door swings open, pressing my hand over my heart to try to hold it inside my body. "Jesus," I mutter, taking a deep breath to calm down. After feeling so freaking vulnerable this morning, having my relationship with Hayden outed on social media without my permission and then my business messed with because of it, I guess I"m jumpier than usual.

Hayden walks into the room, and the energy surrounding him is like an incoming storm. Crackling with destructive electricity, menacing in its ferocity, and frankly, scary as hell. "Aren"t you supposed to be at practice right now?"

I"m sitting on the couch in his t-shirt and nothing else, trying to figure out how to fix the shitshow that my asshole ex dropped into my lap this morning, but I set it aside because I can tell Hayden"s not okay.

He doesn"t answer me, just stalks forward and wraps his arms around me before pulling me against his chest. He holds me tight like he needs me to breathe, and I let him.

"Hayden," I whisper, running my fingers through his hair as he buries his face in the crook of my neck. "What"s going on?"

He pulls back and looks down at me with dark eyes that are full of rage and frustration and a hint of despair that makes my heart ache for him. He shakes his head and then leans down to kiss me softly on the mouth. Then he says, "I"m suspended indefinitely."

I blink up at him, not sure if I heard him right. "What? Why?"

He sighs and lets me go so he can sit down on the couch. I follow him, sitting beside him and taking his hand in mine. He looks down at our fingers intertwined and then up at me. "Morozov sent the link to your OnlyFans to everyone on the team. The entire organization."

I swallow hard, trying not to let the guilt I feel creep up and choke me. This is all my fault. If I had never met Roman or gotten involved with him, Hayden would be at practice right now and not suspended. "Fuck," I whisper, looking down at the floor. "This is all my fault."

Hayden"s fingers tighten around mine as he pulls my chin up so I"m looking at him again, his fingers indenting my skin as he presses hard enough for me to get that he"s serious. "Don"t you dare blame yourself for this shit. You"re not responsible for Roman"s actions or the team"s decision to suspend me. That"s on them."

"But..."

He shakes his head and then pulls me onto his lap so that I"m straddling him, my knees on either side of his thighs as he looks up at me with a fire in his eyes that makes me burn. "No. This isn"t your fault. Got it? I made the decision to insert myself into your videos, not you."

I nod slowly, even though I don"t really believe him. If it wasn"t for me, he wouldn"t be in those videos at all. Roman might"ve found another way to mess with him, but maybe not. I"m still lost in my head when Hayden leans forward and kisses me. It"s gentle and so unlike him, all I can do is blink my eyes closed and fall into it. It"s like with this kiss, he"s trying to reassure me that he doesn"t blame me. And okay, I know it"s not all my fault. If Hayden wasn"t jealous as hell, he wouldn"t have insisted on being in the videos in the first place. But still, a lot of this is on me.

But Hayden"s never lied to me about anything, and despite my dumpster fire of a past, I trust him.

Which is why I decide to tell him what I"ve been thinking about since this morning, even though it scares the shit out of me. Doing this means I might never be able to pay Hayden back for paying off my debt to Roman. And forget about making The Sin Bin into the family-friendly restaurant my dad dreamed about. "I think I need to shut down my OnlyFans."

Hayden"s eyes narrow as he looks at me, his fingers tightening around mine. "No."

"Seriously?" I squirm under the intensity of his glare. "I figured you"d be ecstatic."

"I"m not letting you give up your dreams because of Morozov. Fuck that." He shakes his head and then leans forward to press a kiss on the tip of my nose. "Did I hate the idea of you showing a bunch of horny guys what belongs to me? Yes. Do I still hate it? Also yes. But that doesn"t mean I want you to stop doing something you want to do just because some asshole is trying to ruin you."

"Ruin us," I correct.

He shrugs like it"s no big deal, and I know he means it. He"s not worried about himself at all. It"s me he"s worried about, and honestly, I don"t know if Hayden"s ever been selfless like this before. I"m kind of stunned, to be honest.

Hayden's fingers run down my spine and I shiver. "Remember what I said about this house?"

I sigh and lean forward so I can rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes as I let myself breathe him in for a second. I fill my lungs with that delicious smell that"s crisp, subtly spicy, and all Hayden, and the storm fades away with each passing second. "We"re winners and we don"t quit."

"Damn right. So you"re going to keep doing what you want to do and fuck everyone else. Understand?"

I dig my fingers into the cotton of his t-shirt, gripping tight while I nod against him. He"s right. If I give up now, Roman wins. And I"m not about to let that asshole take anything else from me. Not when I"ve finally got something worth fighting for.

Hayden leans back against the couch with me still on his lap, looking up at me with dark eyes as he runs his hands up my thighs. "Now I need you to distract me so I don"t go find Morozov and break both of his legs so he"ll never skate again."

I bite my lip, knowing exactly how I want to distract him. "You know," I say, leaning down to kiss him softly on the mouth as I reach between us and cup his dick through his joggers. He"s already hard and I play with his piercings through the layers of soft fabric. I grin against his mouth as he groans. "I think I have an idea or two."

And then I lean down and kiss him hard, letting him taste me and reminding him that no matter what happens with his suspension or anything else, from now on, we"re in this together.