INKED LOVE -Chapter 1

I t was right smack in the middle of my twenty-fifth birthday party in front of all our friends and family, when Jason my boyfriend of four years, surprisingly professed his undying love for me.

“Alexis Reynolds, I love you and want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you…you and your beautiful family.” Jason eyes pulled away from mine and looked out into the crowd.

My gaze followed his as I watched him lock in on my father. They both nodded a seemingly silent agreement between them. Turning back to me; those blue eyes once again sparkling in my direction, he pressed on.

“So…will you marry me Alexis?” he asked.

Looking down into those clear blue pools, I smiled nervously. The man that had swept me off my feet in college and had been an overnight hit with my insanely hard to please family, was now down on one knee, asking for my hand in marriage. I had waited for this moment forever. It seemed we all had.

I buried the emotions that were simmering under the surface and tried to focus on what was being presented before me. Unfortunately for me, this was not the private, romantic moment that I had envisioned. No, this was actually the complete opposite. We were standing in the middle of a lavish room, in one of Toronto’s best restaurants; with everyone we knew staring eagerly, anticipating the only acceptable answer.

I took a deep breath and shifted my focus to the black velvet box Jason held open. It was a beacon begging for attention, but blinding me like a solar eclipse as it flecked in the lights. Oh God. I could never wear that. It looked like it belonged in a museum. It was garish and embarrassing, just like Jason. He was loud, extravagant and dead set on being the center of attention at all times. His words and actions often made me cringe. Maybe that’s why he liked me? After all, my dad had always said that being behind the scenes, was more my strength.

Despite our differences, I couldn’t deny that he was definitely handsome in his tux tonight. His cerulean blues were sparkling with joy as he looked up at me. His perfectly straight smile and smart clean haircut only served to accentuate that Type A personality that I knew so well.

Jason had been suave, charming and determined to excel in everything— when we first met. A competitive swimmer all throughout high school and college; he had that typical athletic build. He was the confidence to my shyness, the life of the party to my wallflower. Jason was the guy that everyone wanted to be around, and he had chosen me. The clean-cut, preppy young lawyer, that seemed to have jumped off the pages of a Ralph Lauren ad. Jason oozed charm. In public, he always had his arm around me, holding me close. Showing me off like a prize pony, making sure that everyone knew he was dating the daughter of the most prominent lawyer in the city.

The crowd had gathered around us and I could hear the cries of, “Say yes Lex! Say yes!”

I smiled through the uneasiness that was building in the pit of my stomach. I hated being the center of attention. I knew I needed to stop stalling and give them what they wanted. Pulling myself up straight, I smiled and nodded quickly. Jason wasted no time pulling me into his embrace and dipping me backwards. And of course, making a spectacle out of every passing moment once again. The crowd cheered.

His lips came down on mine with a heaviness that seemed rehearsed. I had always hoped that there would be stars, rainbows and glitter falling from the sky when the love-of-my-life asked me to marry him. I expected a surreal moment, where time stood still and everything slowed down to a quiet hum like you see in the movies. As always though, my expectations were off the charts. It made for a consistently disappointing life. But really, I had no reason to complain. My life was exactly as it was meant to be. Dictated and predictable.

So how did I get here exactly? Well, it’s a simple but not so simple story.

First, let’s start with tonight. It was just supposed to be a birthday party. But nothing was simple with Jason. He had planned a lavish celebration for me at the trendy French-Canadian restaurant Sassafraz , in the heart of Yorkville. It was everything a girl could want. Except for this girl.

Everyone we knew was here. Our own private party surrounded by a living wall of vegetation lining the dining room. It was the type of event that would definitely make tomorrow’s social news.

Despite my reluctance, it certainly wasn’t anything that I wasn’t used to though. It was common for our family to be the center of attention. My father was a founding partner at Reynolds & Cunningham. He had been a top dog at Finnegan & Martineau for decades and finally had fulfilled his life-long dream of opening his own firm. Everyone said he would fail, but of course my dad, being the shark that he was, had proved them all wrong. His specialty was litigation and he was the best in the business. Needless to say, arguing with my father was an exercise in futility. My entire life, my dad had been in the limelight and by default— so had our family. This night, my twenty-fifth birthday, wasn’t any different.

There was a time when I had wanted to follow in my dad’s footsteps and be a bad-ass lawyer just like him. I envisioned myself helping people and making a difference. Unfortunately for me, my dad had wanted my brother Logan to pursue a career in law, but not his daughter.

Logan however, had other plans.

Right after high school, my older brother had announced that he would not be going to college. Instead he was going to backpack his way across the country and just take things as they came. Our parents were devastated but no one more so than my dad. Logan had totally blindsided them and they never got over it. From then on, I tried to make up for Logan’s choices by working extremely hard in school, but it was never enough. It didn’t matter that I graduated as valedictorian, with honors, or that I won scholarships to the top law schools in the country. They had wanted— Logan. But Logan didn’t give a shit. He spent the next few years smoking pot and snowboarding in Whistler, British Columbia. He never came back.

Maybe he had the right idea all along.

I remember very clearly the day my parents suggested I switch from pursuing law itself, to settling for a career as a paralegal. My boyfriend Jason was being sought-after left, right and center by all the top firms. He was currently considering all of them, and narrowing down his options.

It was over our ritualistic afternoon tea, that my mother had quietly suggested to me that there was a way for us all to get what we wanted. Dad needed a partner at his new firm, and Jason was the right fit. Jason would be able to rise to partner sooner rather than later in a smaller firm. And with the two of them at the helm, I could take advantage of the easy life. There was no need to slave away through law school when I could ensure I would be taken care of.

“It is the right thing to do.” She said to me. “Give this opportunity to Jason and your father.” The men were better suited to that line of work anyway. Plus, it would ensure that Jason stayed in Toronto. I didn’t want to risk him leaving the city or worse— the province, right?

It wasn’t long after that I saw the two of them smiling and patting each other on the back like old friends. Despite it feeling like a knife had been stabbed through my heart, I believed or perhaps was conditioned to believe, that I had made the right decision.

From that day forward, my dad gave Jason everything he had ever wanted. A corner office, with all the perks, leads in all the top cases, and a showering of praise at all times. Jason’s ego grew day by day and soon, I was more than happy to find reasons to stay away from the office.

Why work so hard when Jason was already taking care of everything? Besides, Jason had made it clear that he wanted a wife and eventually a mother holding down the fort at home. I definitely wouldn’t need a law degree for that. You would think that I’d be crushed, right? Wrong.

It was a safe and comfortable place, following directions. Voicing opinions that rivalled those of my family had only ever resulted in disaster. Love was conditional and for a long time, I was more than willing to pay the price.

Nothing lasts forever though.