ACE

O ne week.

I’d been at this goddamn rehab facility for one week. Seven days and that was exactly seven days too long. Jax spent the first four days in detox. Writhing on the floor in pain, puking up what was left of his guts and shitting himself, until he was nothing more than a limp mess of a man on the bathroom floor. I’d been scraping him up off the floor and helping the nurses to wash him down after every one of these episodes. It was brutal, and I was completely drained. Finally, on day five, things stabilized a little.

“Hey dude… how you feeling today?” I asked Jax, who was sitting up in his bed sipping a hot tea. “This is the first morning that you haven’t been soaked to the bone in your own fluids.” I noticed.

“Yeah,” he acknowledged. “it’s somewhat better today. Still feel very weak, but at least I slept in the bed and not on the floor last night.” He continued.

“Good. Things are moving in the right direction.” I nodded. “So listen, I just spoke to Harley, and she said that Aria is super pissed that she hasn’t been able to connect with you the last few days.”

Jax immediately looked up at me in a panic. “Harley didn’t…” He whispered slowly.

And I knew exactly where he was going with this.

“No! Of course she didn’t blow your cover. Although, she did tell Aria that we will be holed up in the rental, working and we’re not to be disturbed. Which is literally what you told her you’d be doing, and it’s the same story that we gave the guys and Devon, anyway.”

I watched Jax visibly relax. He wanted so badly to surprise Aria at the end of her tour with a brand new sober, clean version of himself. Although Aria had talked to him about going to rehab and even offered to stay and help him through it, he was too proud to let her see him like that. He wanted all his shit dealt with and only the good stuff remaining by the time the love of his life returned.

“So, can you listen and not jump the gun this time?” I asked him.

Running his hands across his three-day-old stubble, shook out hair and looked up at me through one eye. “Yeah… sorry man.” He mumbled.

“Good. We’ve got the story down pat, but now that you’ve stopped purging, maybe call her today? She does still need to hear from you or she will get suspicious. You can’t go from being all over her day and night to zero contact.”

Jax nodded and took another sip of his tea. “I’m so fucking scared of losing her, Ace.” The anxiety in his eyes made my chest tighten. I knew that feeling all too well. “Just call her Jax. It’ll be fine.”

A few silent moments passed between us as we each sipped our warm drinks. It was time to tell him. “Listen Jax, speaking of keeping up with relationships… now that you’re, uh…. feeling a little better… I’m gonna take off for a day or two. I need to see Harley.”

Jax eyes opened wide. “Dude!” He cried out. “Like, what the fuck? We said we were doing this together!”

I sighed. “We are, but Jax listen, I did all the same evaluations as you did and they said I could do it on an out-patient basis. Despite that, I’ve been by your side for a solid week. Now that you are a little stronger, I just need some time to myself, but I promise I’ll come back.”

He was staring at me, anger emanated off of him, filling the room with the familiar tension that came when disagreeing with Jax. Maybe I needed a different tactic. “Also… I continued. The facility needs my room for other in-patient guests. They said that because I didn’t have the withdrawal symptoms that you’ve had, I don’t need to be here as much.”

“So?” He barked back at me. “Good for you then, motherfucker.” And then grumbled under his breath. “No withdrawal symptoms, eh? Why don’t you rub it in a little more?” His words stung, but only because I cared about him like a brother and he was hurting so badly. I watched my best friend turn his head away from me.

Breathing in deeply, I moved towards the bed and sat down. “Not what I’m doing here, Jax.” I said, with one hand on his shoulder. “Although they said that I can do this on an out-patient basis, I still have to show up to most of the meetings and therapy sessions. And I can stay over in their guest suite when I need to.”

Jax didn’t even look at me. He just shrugged and began fielding nervously with the zipper on his sweatshirt.

“Fuck! Jax, you’re like a brother to me and I’ve been by you side since you first mentioned this, but dude… I dropped everything to be here with you! Not that I don’t need this too, but being that I don’t have to stay overnight, I just to take a little time and go see Harley. I miss her like crazy and can’t function without her… you know how it is.”

After a few minutes, Jax finally looked up at me.

“I know how it is with you. Sounds like you’re in love. Again.” He teased with a slight eyebrow shrug.

Damn, that was a gut punch.

“Fine.” I nodded. “I probably deserved that dig, but things are different with Harley. She’s not like the other girls that I was with in the past.”

“Is she or is she not, living on your dime?” He demanded.

He knew me too well. I stood up and began pacing the room. “Only because I don’t want her stripping, if I’m not there to protect her!!” I thundered.

I was raging now. Every frustration that I’d buried away was coming out in full force.

“This is not cool. I’ve done everything for you, Jax. The whole band has, in fact. We’ve been waiting forever for you to be inspired again. We’re late with the new material, the label is breathing down our necks, and let’s not even discuss the fact that we’re wasting valuable time being stuck in here! For fuck’s sake, man, the label is going to drop us at this rate and we will lose everything.”

Jax didn’t speak, and I just kept on going. Honestly, there wasn’t much that could have stopped me at that point. “And despite it all, I’m still Jax Andersson’s right-hand man! My childhood best friend, who I back up all the time. Even now, when I dropped everything to be your fucking personal nurse this past week.” I spat. “But yet, you’re giving me some bullshit about taking a day or two to go see Harley? That’s not fair, man. If Aria was in town right now, you’d be sneaking out in the middle of the night. It would be a constant fight with everyone in this place to keep you in here.”

Suddenly, Jax got up out of bed and walked over to the window. Nothing about him looked good, not his grey complexion, not the dark circles under his eyes or his skinnier than usual appearance. Not to mention that seeing him in the regulation blue jogging suit was quite the shocker. No longer a rock star, Jax was just a simple guy who’d lost his way, like everyone else here.

He turned back to me, arms crossed at his chest. His features were softer now, and he nodded his head slowly. “Okay… I get it. I’m sorry for being a dick about it. And you’re right, I would try to leave if Aria was close by,” He finally admitted. His words came out quietly, but they were there just the same. “And you’re right… I know I’ve been a lot to handle lately and I’m sorry. I’ll do better… for you, the guys, and for Aria. Just gotta get through this program first.”

I exhaled a sigh of relief and opened my arms to draw him into a hug. “Thanks, man.”

Although I had planned to go see Harley regardless of Jax’s reaction, it was still much better to have him in my corner. Plus, the fact that he was finally seeing that his addiction was much stronger than anyone else’s was a really good thing. Jax needed to see himself, exactly as he was, because we weren’t the same. Sure, I drank and took of drugs too, as did Gage and Rocco, but none of us had ever tripped on stage, slurred our words in interviews or blacked out for days at a time. That was just Jax.

“Yeah, you do… and I know it’s been super rough these last few days, which is why I’ve stayed. However, today seems to be your best day yet…”

“Okay, okay.” He grumbled. “I told you, I get it. Go see your woman, just come back… okay?” He asked, staring me right in the eyes. “I need you…” He whispered.

I smiled wide. “Absolutely. You have my word.”