Ren

REN

WHEN I GOT to Maddy’s house to meet Cyprian so I could catch a ride with him to the swim meet, I was surprised to see Aspen’s car in the driveway too. The contrast between his secondhand little sedan and Caelyx’s gleaming red convertible was almost comical. He’d said he wanted to come, which was great, but he didn’t have to bring his car, he could have just ridden with us in Cyprian’s Jeep. When I knocked and Caelyx let me in the door, I realized why. Arie and Che were sitting on the couch, looking like they were ready to go.

“Are you guys coming to the meet, too?” I asked, after returning Che’s small but friendly wave. He looked cute and color-coordinated as usual. Arie was wearing what I thought was some kind of sports jersey, but it looked like it was meant to fit a toddler, exposing pretty much his whole stomach. Nothing too out of the ordinary for him, though.

“Yep,” Arie answered. “Aspen told us you guys were going to support Maddox, so we figured the more the merrier, right?”

Well… Probably. I wasn’t exactly sure what kind of mood Maddy would be in after everything was said and done. But seeing our friends come out to root for him couldn’t be a bad thing, right?

“Right,” I confirmed, though I wasn’t exactly sure. “I’m sure he’ll be really thankful.” I didn’t mention the fact that this was going to be the last time he ever swam on the team, figuring that would invite too many questions and bring the group mood down. “You’re going, too?” I asked, turning toward Caelyx.

“Yes, sir,” he answered. He’d been calling me sir ever since the final night of winter break when I’d come over and apparently had really loud sex. Well, one of us was loud. And Maddy really, really hated when he called me that. But for that reason, Caelyx was pretty committed to continuing to do it. “And I call shotgun. In Cupcake’s car.”

“If you’re riding with me, I’ll drive off a bridge,” Aspen warned him flatly. “Why don’t you drive yourself in your million-dollar death trap?”

“Caelyx, you can ride with me,” Cyprian quickly cut in, to keep the peace. “And we need to head over now, so we can get some decent seats.”

So I ended up riding with Cyprian and Caelyx, and Aspen took Arie and Che in his car. I wondered why Caelyx hadn’t taken his fancy car. If I had something like that, secretly I probably would have liked showing it off. Then again, I might be scared of wrecking it.

“So Aspen’s your roommate, right?” Caelyx asked, glancing back at me from the passenger seat. I’d honored his shotgun request, even though he’d said it for a specific car.

“Yeah.”

“That’s cool,” he said. The way he was trying to sound ultra-casual reminded me of when Maddy didn’t want anyone knowing he was excited about something. “Does it get crowded?”

“Crowded?” I repeated, tilting my head in confusion.

“I mean when Maddox hangs out over there, too. You guys, and him, and whoever he’s seeing…”

“Oh,” I said, realizing what he was asking. “Yeah, um, I don’t think he’s really interested in, uh… Dating. Anyone,” I added, so it didn’t seem like I was saying it specifically about Caelyx. But recalling our conversation about feeling like most guys needed a muzzle, I was pretty sure he was not an eligible candidate in Aspen’s dating pool.

Caelyx gave a single nod and a casual hum in response, shifting his gaze back up front. Was he actually interested in Aspen? There was no way. He just liked screwing around with him, like he did with Maddy.

We parked next to Aspen at the convention center, glad it wasn’t too terribly crowded. There were a lot of buses parked around, probably teams from other nearby schools. As we unloaded from our respective cars, I noticed Arie had a large piece of poster board decorated with paint and glitter to read GO MADDOX .

“Nice sign,” I said, although I knew it probably embarrass the crap out of Maddy. It probably didn’t matter though, since this would be his last swim. He would never have to see any of these people again, anyway.

“Thanks,” Arie said, waving it over his head with a mock cheer. “Che helped. He was the artistic director for the project.”

“Great job,” I said to him. When he smiled, I smiled. His happiness was kind of infectious in that way. It was like seeing a tiny puppy wag its tail.

It was a bit crowded as we made our way in and headed towards the hall that led to the seating area. Because of all the noise and commotion, I almost didn’t hear someone calling my name.

“Ren! Hey, Ren!” The deep voice of an adult man that I vaguely recognized… Oh, crap. It was Maddy’s dad.

“Mr. H! Um, hi,” I greeted him, forcing a big, fat smile on my face that betrayed nothing of my worry for Maddy getting ambushed by all these people after what might be a tough moment for him. He hurried toward me, and I noted that Missy and another woman I didn’t know was with him. “Hi, Missy,” I said, giving her a small wave.

“Hi, Ren! Great to see you again,” she said with a friendly smile.

“Kate, this is Maddox’s friend, Ren,” Mr. H gestured to me as he spoke to the woman I didn’t know. “He came over with Maddox a couple of months back,” he explained.

“Oh, it’s great to meet another one of Maddox’s friends,” she said, reaching out to lay a warm hand on my arm. “You know, he never tells me anything. I’m Kate, Maddox’s mom.”

“Oh,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Ren, we’re grabbing seats!” Cyprian called from down the crowded hall. “Oh, hey, Mrs. Holmes! I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Cyprian, hello! We’re surprising Maddox.”

I guess she knew Cyprian from dropping Maddy off. When he jogged up next to me, we both exchanged a look. That look was communicating something like we know we’re both parent-friendly, but can Caelyx and Arie behave around them? Maddy wasn’t out to his parents yet, and if either of them made any jokes or references about us fucking, as they tended to do, then that would be pretty damn hard to explain.

“Do you mind if we sit with you guys? I’d love to meet the rest of Maddox’s friends,” Mr. H said.

“Yeah, that’ll be great,” I lied.

“Just follow me,” Cyprian offered, heading back down the hall toward the little entrance to the bleachers. We followed behind, and I nodded along and gave hopefully appropriate responses to the three of them chatting excitedly about Maddy’s meet and how well he might place.

The second we were seated, I sent him a text letting him know that his parents, along with Missy, and all of our friends were here in the stands. I didn’t think he’d be upset or anything, but I also didn’t want him to feel ambushed. When I got no response after a few minutes, I figured his phone was probably in a locker or bag somewhere and he’d check it after his first swim. Or heat, or whatever they called it. I’d only gotten a vague understanding from the video I’d watched of his first meet.

Introductions between Maddy’s parents and everyone else were polite and enthusiastic. They didn’t seem too put off by Arie’s tiny crop top, or the array of star-shaped hair clips pinned into Che’s bangs, or Aspen’s piercings, so that was a plus, at least. But it was pretty clear none of us, with the exception of Cyprian and maybe Caelyx on a good day, were part of the hot, cool, popular jock-approved crowd.

When they announced the first freestyle round was happening, Kate, as she’d asked me to call her, clapped her hands together excitedly.

“Freestyle means Maddox is going to be up soon!” She chirped.

Part of me still wanted to be annoyed about them forgetting his birthday, but I had to remind myself my mom wasn’t perfect either. And she seemed nice enough.

No one from Byron Bay University swam in the first freestyle heat, but when the second one rolled around, we all heard Maddy’s name announced as one of the contestants, and saw him making his way to the pool. We cheered loudly, but he didn’t even look up. He was probably just really focused. And I shouldn’t have been checking him out in his speedo while I was sitting next to his parents. I was sure they didn’t notice.

As he climbed up onto the diving block, I noticed one of the guys from his team approach him. When I squinted, I could see it was the red-haired guy from the party, O’Conner. I knew he was the one who’d called Maddy a slur, too. I hoped they wouldn’t fight in front of Maddy’s parents or anything.

They talked for a few moments, but hardly at all, before Maddy tore his goggles and stuff off and threw them down onto the floor. I heard a bunch of gasps, mostly directly around me but plenty across the huge room, too. A hushed silence fell over the crowd, like they were waiting anxiously for some horrible thing to happen.

Maddy didn’t seem to notice the sudden crushing silence as he hopped down off the diving block. And because no one else was making a sound, his words were deafeningly loud, echoing off the walls.

“I’m fucking done! I quit! Fuck you and your stupid fucking bigoted, homophobic asshole friends and your sociopath fucking coach, too! You can all suck me and fucking choke!” He pushed past O’Conner, shoulder checking him as I’d seen him do before when he was really mad, then stopped and turned back around for a brief moment. “Oh, and since you all just love speculating about me, let me go ahead and confirm. Yes, I’m a fag. I have a boyfriend. And we fuck! And since you have such a problem with that, just stay the fuck away from me!”

And without another word or a look around at the stunned audience, or any of the shocked coaches, swimmers, or anything else, he stormed the rest of the way out of the arena area.

No one said anything for several, agonizing moments until finally Aspen turned to me, looking incredulous.

“Dude. I said talk to him about going official. He didn’t have to announce it in a crowded arena. What the hell did you say to him?”

Mr. H’s eyes were drilling holes in the side of me, painfully burrowing into my skin. If there were any doubts about him knowing before, I was definitely sure now.

Groaning lightly, I pressed my palms into my eyes, slowly sinking down into my seat.